


Sayuri

by QueenLadle



Series: The tale of Sayuri the Brave [1]
Category: Naruto
Genre: Angst, Childhood Trauma, Coming of Age, Emotional Roller Coaster, Eventual AU, Eventual Romance, Eventual Smut, F/M, Fluff, Hero Worship, Hurt/Comfort, It Gets Worse Before It Gets Better, Mental Health Issues, Obito needs a Hug, Obito tries his best, Past Child Abuse, Romance, Sexual Content, Slow Burn, Smut, he's a little dumb
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-11-06
Updated: 2021-01-11
Packaged: 2021-01-23 21:54:06
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 39
Words: 95,725
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21327262
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/QueenLadle/pseuds/QueenLadle
Summary: He told her he had the power to make dreams come true, and she decided then and there, she would follow him to the ends of the earth. But how can you trust a man who barely knows himself? Things can be as dangerous as they are beautiful, and innocence is easily corrupted.
Relationships: Uchiha Obito & Original Female Character(s), Uchiha Obito/Original Character(s), Uchiha Obito/Original Female Character(s)
Series: The tale of Sayuri the Brave [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1783816
Comments: 98
Kudos: 114





	1. Enter Sayuri!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Update 01/07/2020 (That means 1st of July to my dear readers across the sea) I am going through what I have written so far and tidying up little bits here and there for a more pleasant reader experience. It will not significantly change the plot, but I'd like to improve the story as much as I can. Please enjoy my own mediocre offerings in the meantime. Comments are very much appreciated.

Yumi chopped the vegetables skilfully, her experience with a blade going beyond culinary pursuits. With a sigh, she put down the knife in a carefully precise manner. She would need to stop doing that, she had renounced that part of her life years ago. But old habits die hard. At least her daughter, Sayuri was playing quietly over the other side of the room, instead of getting under her feet. Ordinarily, a child of eight might be playing outside with friends, or, if the weather was poor, they would go round each other's houses and play together inside.

But Sayuri played alone.

There was a time once, when Yamaguchi-san had offered to look after Sayuri for a while, whilst Yumi had some 'well deserved time to herself'. Yamaguchi-san had 3 children of her own, so one more would not hurt for a few hours. Or so they had thought. 2 hours into her visit, the Yamaguchi children ran to the mother to complain about their guest. "She was up in the tree, standing quite upside down! Then she jumped off and hit the ground, she didn't hurt herself at all!"

Mrs Yamaguchi in turn had a quiet but firm word with Yumi. Sayuri was scolded, and Sayuri cried, and was never invited over again. Such unnatural occurrences were frowned upon in the village. Anything strange was kept away. This included most visitors.

When the small family moved to the village, they did their best to conform. The office worker Kenta, his wife and toddler child would not be the ones to break the status quo. They had left their past behind them. There was nothing irregular about them at all. There was a slight wariness about the newcomers, as to be expected for a village that had hardly any visitors, some questions, about the unusual colour of the mother and child's hair, a bright tomato red, but this was quickly smoothed over with a vague "it runs in the family."

So the family was allowed to live a quiet, peaceful life in the village. Out of trouble.

However Yumi soon found it was hard to keep a small, inquisitive child, out of trouble. She seemed to be behaving well enough that day, when Yumi looked across from the kitchen area to the other side of the room. She was engrossed in some colouring. Yumi hung her apron on the hook, picked up a magazine from where it had been put on the kitchen table, and crossed over to join her daughter.

She stopped short from the low table where her daughter was knelt at. There was a copy of an old battered book of ninja skills for beginners next to her. Sayuri was copying a page, drawing in figures practicing the moves. The drawings, crude as they were, in saturated wax crayon hues, all looked suspiciously like the child herself.

"What are you doing, Sayuri?"

"I'm drawing ninja Mummy, look," she replied, waving the paper aloft for Yumi to see.

Horrified, she snatched the paper away, and with one hand behind her back, crushed it into a ball in her fist. “You shouldn't be doing anything to do with shinobi! What have we told you, plenty of times?"

Sayuri looked up at her, bottom lip quivering just slightly. "But it's just pictures mummy, I thought it would be okay."

Oh Sayuri, why can’t you understand, this is all to protect you.

"What would happen if your teacher saw you drawing these kind of things Sayuri? What would happen then?"

That started the tears, and Yumi felt a twinge of guilt. Not for the first time she wondered if they had made the first choice in settling there. But she needed to be firm.

Yumi knelt down to her daughter's level.

"Sayuri-chan, where did you get this book from?"

Sayuri stopped mid-sob, "On the shelf Mummy, wi-with all the other books."

The shelf? What on earth was it doing there? Yumi kept her thoughts to herself. Now wasn't the time to be scaring her daughter.

"Okay," said Yumi evenly, "Well you must tell me if you find any more books like that. You know it's not allowed."

"Okay Mummy," Sayuri replied, a note of resignation in her voice. She was clearly not happy with the arrangement. It pained Yumi to see her daughter look so forlorn, but there was nothing she could do. At least they were safe here.

Yumi took a tissue from the box on the table and wiped her daughter's eyes. "Now, do you want to watch a film sweetie? Let's put one of your tapes on before Daddy comes home, how about that?"

These words made an enormous effect on Sayuri's demeanour, and she immediately brightened, her face lighting up in a brilliant smile.

"Oh yes please Mummy, I want to pick one please!" She bounced up, and sped off towards the shelf where the video tapes were stored, her hands making to grab for the desired tape, stretching up as far as her little form was able.

Yumi took the case down before Sayuri could cause an accident, and then there really would be tears.

"Careful Sayuri-chan, you'll do yourself a mischief."

––

When Tachimae Kenta came home from work, he would take off his coat, leave his shoes by the door and put on his slippers, before scooping up his daughter in his arms and spinning her round. This action was met with delighted smiles and giggles.

Of course, this practice could not go on forever, but Sayuri was small for eight years old, and that day was no different.

"How is my loveliest girl today?" He asked, after setting her down, "I hope you have been behaving yourself."

Normally Sayuri would launch into a detailed account about her day, and would gabble on for a whole minute without drawing for breath, but this time, she was quiet and looked at the floor, before looking at her mother, and back to the floor again.

"You were a bit naughty this afternoon weren't you Sayuri-chan, but it's alright now," his wife explained, standing in the doorway to the kitchen.

Kenta was about to ask what had happened, but Yumi shook her head behind their daughter, and mouthed "I'll tell you later."

Kenta nodded, then looked at his little girl, putting his hands on her shoulders. "Well, as long as you're okay now, that's all that matters, Sayuri-chan."

She nodded, her grin wide.

––

Yumi turned upon him as soon as Sayuri was in bed.

"She found this!" She hissed, holding up an old copy of 'Ninjutsu Grade 1', "She said it was on the shelf with the other books."

Kenta stared in shock. "I thought that was up in the attic…"

"The attic?!" Yumi seethed, "I thought you had gotten rid of everything!"

"I did… I just thought...just in case…" Kenta tried to reason, although he couldn't think up of any excuse that would placate his wife, who was so ready to erase their past, just to fit in.

"Just in case what? We promised each other that we would get rid of everything. That we would come here, and our daughter would live a normal life. Away from war, away from danger. And now, she's I don't know, climbing in the attic and getting up to goodness knows what." Yumi slumped down onto the sofa, her head in her hands. "What are we going to do with her, Kenta? She's not like the other children." She started to sob, and Kenta put his arms around his wife to comfort her.

"No," he said, "She's too much like us."

––

Sayuri seemed quiet at breakfast the next morning. She ate her cereal well enough, but in a sort of dazed way, her face glum.

Yumi wondered if she had heard them arguing last night. Their conversation had been carried out in hushed whispers, well after Sayuri was fast asleep. Yes, perhaps her own speech had been rather forceful, so annoyed at her husband as she was, whose happy-go-lucky attitude was normally a pleasant solace to her own perpetually anxious demeanour, but sometimes she wished he would worry a bit more. But they didn't raise their voices above a normal talking volume, not loud enough for Sayuri to hear up in her bedroom, so it must have been something else.

Perhaps she was ill.

Yumi put her hand underneath her daughters thick fringe, but there was no fever, as expected, just the thrum of energy pulsing throughout. She quickly pulled away.

"Mummy?" Sayuri questioned, looking up.

"You're not ill are you sweetie?"

The child shook her head. "No Mummy, I'm fine."

Yumi nodded, then turned round and took down a blue tin from one of the high shelves in the kitchen. 

"Would you like a biscuit Sayuri-chan?" she said, holding the tin out. Sayuri's face immediately lit up, and she nodded her head vigorously.

"Thank you Mummy!"

"Just don't tell your father okay?" said Yumi, smiling as Sayuri ate up the sweet treat.

––

Sayuri ran along the streets to the village school, her red hair tied into two plaits, a blue ribbon tied in a bow around her head.

Her mother, like always, had told her to hurry up, lest she be late, and Sayuri almost wished she had said she was ill. Being late for school for sure meant punishment, so she sped up, racing through the streets. There was something about speed in the book she had read yesterday. Although it was called 'agility.' But she couldn't read the book anymore. It was a shinobi book and shinobi were bad and dangerous and she should have nothing to do with them.

However the book had talked about how shinobi were meant to be helpful, and protect people.

It was all very confusing for an eight year old.

Just then, a gust of wind took the ribbon from her head, and Sayuri chased after it. The ribbon blew past a bench, and instead of climbing around it, Sayuri jumped onto the top of the seat and jumped down again without losing her footing, continuing the chase.

Then she skidded to a stop.

He was tall, and clad completely in black. Black sandals on his feet and black trousers, and a long black coat. Shoulder-length black hair protruded from a mask, the design of which Sayuri had not seen the like. Black stripes on orange, like a tiger, and towards the left, one eye which seemed to be staring right into Sayuri. And in one gloved hand, her ribbon.

"Well, do you want your ribbon back little one?"

His voice was deep. But soft. Sayuri jumped as she realised she had been staring for far too long to be polite.

"Um, sorry. Yes please."

He made no move toward her, so Sayuri started taking the steps to claim her ribbon back.

She had not gone two paces when he spoke again.

"That was a good jump just then."

Sayuri stopped, and looked at the ground. So he had seen. That was bad. "Sorry, did you see it? I'm sorry, I didn't mean to."

"I think you jump very well little one. And run fast too."

His words surprised Sayuri, none of the adults in the village had ever praised her like that before, and she looked up at the mask. A singular black eye gleamed at her. She found his stare intense, so looked away quickly. Summoning her courage, she asked,

"Do you know… is there other people that can jump like that? No one else in the village can."

"Yes." The response was short, but encouraging, so she probed a little further.

"Can you?"

"Yes."

Sayuri bit her lip and prepared for her next question.

"Masked man-san, are you...are you a shinobi?" As soon as the word left her mouth, Sayuri looked around, half expecting one to the village elders to appear and scold her.

But they were alone.

"Yes I am little one."

Sayuri broke into the widest grin, and stepped towards him "Oh really, what are you doing? Are you on a mission?" The questions came out quickly in her excitement.

"That's a secret little one."

Sayuri sighed. A secret. Another grown-up thing.

"Well you better be careful masked man-san, they don't like shinobi much around here, they think they're evil. You're not evil are you, Shinobi-san?" She looked up at the visible dark eye.

A beat.

And then, "Your ribbon, little one."

Sayuri pulled away from his gaze with great effort.

"Oh, yes…" she said distractedly, and took it from him, his grasp upon it lingering for a just moment before he let go, and relinquished it to her.

"Run along now little one, you don't want to be late."

Sayuri set off. When she had gone a few paces she turned back round to wave at the masked man, who lifted his hand up in a farewell greeting.

Now she really was going to be late.

––

Obito watched the child run off. She was rather sweet, in a way.

No, she wasn't. Why did he even think that? She was just a tool for his plan.

"So that's the one is it?" Zetsu asked, when he had ducked into an alley. No use in terrorising the locals, not just yet. "**She's only a child, how can you be sure this power is manifest?**"

"Everything points towards her being useful," Obito asserted, vexed slightly by Zetsu's doubts. Yes, he was technically the newcomer in the situation, but he was Madara now. The creature should be listening to him.

"**Are you sure? You shouldn't be deviating from the plan.**"

"I'm sticking to the plan. This is...just in case…"

Zetsu made a face as if to protest, then paused and said finally,

"So long as you know what you're doing."

"Of course I do."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi darlings, thank you for checking out my story! Yes, it will be an eventual Obito x OC, which I don't see hardly any of at all. Also, this fic will be quite OC heavy, due to the location it’s set in, (not Konoha) and the need to fill Sayuri's world with people and not just put canon characters in random places.
> 
> Timeline: This fic starts roughly 10/9 years pre-canon timeline. While I am keeping mostly to canon events, due to the unreliable source material for events outside of the core canon timeline, I have taken some liberties for the sake of my story as I see fit.
> 
> Thank you for the continued support.


	2. Tragedy strikes

It was the weekend. And being a warm summer's day, Yumi decided to take her daughter out on a boat trip over the lake. On the Monday she had come home late, and Yumi wondered if she would have to go and talk to her teacher again, but Sayuri managed to behave herself for the rest of the week, so a boat trip it was. They sat in one end of the boat whilst a gentleman rowed them for about an hours round trip.

Sayuri, being Sayuri, liked to point at various waterbirds and the shadows of fish under the water, whilst gabbling on about whether or not there were mermaids in the lake and what it would be like to be a fish and "Ooh, look at that one over there Mummy!"

She leant over the side as she did so.

"Sayuri-chan sit down properly," Yumi reprimanded, "You might fall in."

At this Sayuri pouted but did as she was told, sitting still as best as she was able but she still fiddled with her dress and the end of her hair ribbons.

In truth Yumi was not scared about Sayuri falling in. That was exactly the problem. She would be able to rescue her too easily. But then the village would see exactly what the family was, and they couldn’t afford to be without a home. Not again.

––

It was not easy escaping her mother's grasp.

After the boat trip, Sayuri's hand was held with a firm grip and she was not able to wriggle away as her mother lead her through the market. She was expected to stand there quietly, while her mother talked with the stall owners and neighbours. Sayuri tried. She tried to smile at everyone as best as she could.

They didn’t often smile back.

Her opportunity came when her mother began talking to Imobe-san. Imobe-san's husband was Sayuri's father's friend from work. The family came over sometimes for dinner.

As her mother became engrossed in conversation, her grip relaxed and Sayuri seized the opportunity to slip away.

She ran up to the masked man waiting at the other side of the market. She had spotted him when her mother was looking at the potted plants, telling Sayuri not to touch anything. 

"Hello!" she said enthusiastically in greeting. She briefly wondered why no one else seemed interested in the stranger, but the thought was soon forgotten in the excitement of seeing him again.

"Hello."

"Mummy just took me on a boat on the lake, over there, see?" said Sayuri, gesturing with her finger.

"Yes, I saw."

"What, from all the way over here?" The lake was a little way off from the marketplace. At least 15 minutes walk. This man’s eyesight must be exceptional. "Well," she continued, "Mummy is shopping now so I've gone to play." With that she started skipping off, and the masked man followed.

"How is your mission going?" she said, as she skipped along the streets.

"Well."

"That's good. I wish I could be on a mission."

"Do you now?"

"Yes," said Sayuri jumping over a tree stump, "I think it would be fun." She stopped and turned around. "Do you think I would make a good ninja?"

The mask cocked its head to the side and looked to be considering for a moment. "I think you'd make an excellent ninja."

"Really?" Sayuri was delighted. Then she remembered what everyone said about shinobi in the village. "It would be nice if I could be a ninja," she said wistfully, and started skipping again.

"You never know, something might happen."

"Maybe…" she uttered distractedly, before climbing onto the low wall that formed the sides of a bridge. When she lost her footing teetering on top of it, her small hand was gripped by a black glove, and all at once she felt a spark of some sort of energy.

"Careful little one," said the masked man, and helped her down off the wall.

Their hands parted and Sayuri held out her hand in front of her, trying to see where the energy had come from.

"It's called chakra," he said, and put his gloved hand behind hers, and Sayuri suddenly felt energy rushing towards her hand, which began emitting a soft blue glow.

She stared at in wonder. "Chakra," she said to herself. Sayuri had read about it in the book before.

"Could you teach me about chakra shinobi-san?" Sayuri asked, still looking at her hand.

"Maybe some other time."

Sayuri looked up.

He was gone.

Her mother came rushing up a moment later.

"There you are Sayuri! Why must you be so naughty and run off like that!"

"I was playing Mummy."

"Oh never mind!" She took Sayuri's hand firmly, then paused, staring at the spot where the masked man was. An expression that Sayuri had never seen before passed across her mother's face.

"Come on Sayuri-chan, let's go home," she said, with a degree of finality.

––

Sayuri was running again.

She had been made to stay late for jumping too high in the playground. She didn't mean to. It was an accident. But there were no accidents at school. At home, if she was good, maybe she could get something nice for dessert. She was very hungry.

Her "I'm home!", followed by her closing the front door a bit too forcefully in her haste, shutting out the sounds of cicadas that set up their orchestra in the warm evening, was met by silence, but that wasn't too unusual. Mummy must have been out in the garden, hanging up the washing. And Daddy must have stayed late at work.

She ran through the house in her slippered feet, it might still not be too late for Mummy to fix her favourite pudding, if she said please and did her best to be very good for the rest of the evening. Or at least something a nice snack to tide her over, she thought, as her stomach growled its complaints.

Then she stopped and stared.

There, in the middle of the floor, the bodies of her parents lay still.

For a moment, all she could do was stare. Perhaps they were sleeping? But then their eyes wouldn’t be staring like that, and they would have woken 

She felt a scream rising up through her body, and opened her mouth to let it out, but no sound came. Silent sobs wracked through her, tears dripping onto the wooden floor. She sunk to the ground, hugging her knees to her chest, trying to make herself as small as possible.

It was a nightmare, and if she pinched herself hard enough she would wake up, but she didn't wake up and only left red crescents marking her arms. 

Sayuri didn't know how long she had stayed like that, rocking back and forth, but she eventually became aware of a hand stroking her hair.

"Masked man-san?" She tried to bury her head in the crook of his arm. To get away from it all. Perhaps the trick was to go to sleep. Shut her eyes really tight and the nightmare would be over. "I'm sorry, little one, I should have come earlier. There were whispers, but I...I could hardly believe them."

She listened, her quiet sobbing turning to whimpers, as he told her of the evil of the village. How they didn't like her, (Not that that was news.) how they wanted to get rid of her. How her parents had only gotten in the way when they were trying to protect her. How it was Imobe-san, a friend, someone who managed to talk to her without talking down to her, who had done it.

She looked up at the mask, tears still wet on her face, seeking for some comfort, some magic spell that would fix things. He was a shinobi, he must be able to do something.

"Come with me."

She put her own small hand in his.

Then she was pulled from the world in a swirl of colour.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Literary clichés are my remaining source of joy.
> 
> How do you even use tags on this site? I did put some up of themes in the story, but I don’t want to use too many because I see a whole wall of tags when I’m browsing and personally it puts me off. And I don’t want to use too many and tell people the plot before they even read it. And some of the tags are for things in future chapters. And I know some people use tags as warnings to filter out content they are uncomfortable with. Sorry for the ramble I’m just confused.
> 
> Bye darlings


	3. A rainy new landscape

Sayuri awoke to the sound of rain pitter pattering on the window. The bed, that was not her own, (at home she used a futon) was soft and sheets warm. For a moment, she panicked at the unfamiliar surroundings, and shouted for her daddy, but then she remembered, and stilled, looking about the room. It was plain. Bare. The walls an offwhite, the floor plain wood. A wardrobe up against one wall, a small table next to the bed. A window taking up most of one wall, which she crossed to, stretching up to the sill.

She was in some sort of high building overlooking the town. The buildings were all metal and modern, and grey, with pockets of green. Sayuri could see people in the streets below and she watched to see what they were doing. That woman, she was doing her grocery shopping at a big store with a red front. The couple over there, they were getting some type of snack food from a stand. Those children, they were playing ball in one of the residential streets; Sayuri wondered if she could find some children to play with herself.

She looked on, and her gaze stopped on a fairly large building, two stories high. It looked to be a school of some sort. There was a grass area beside it, and on it she could see figures doing some kind of exercise involving throwing some type of grey objects, but Sayuri was too far away to see exactly.

"Do you like it?"

Sayuri gave a little jump at the voice. "You surprised me Masked man-san!" she smiled up at the mask. Her saviour.

There was the hint of mirth in his voice. "Well then, we'll have to work on your observational skills little one."

Sayuri wasn't quite sure what 'observational skills' meant, she thought it might be something to do with noticing if people were about to sneak up on you, but didn't voice her thoughts on the meaning of the phrase. Instead she looked at the window again, this time at a drop of rain making its way down the glass.

"This is Amegakure. The village hidden in the rain."

"Amegakure," she breathed. Then louder, "Why is it hidden?"

His explanation was patient, not like Sayuri's school teachers who would punish her for not doing her reading properly and for being, as they put it, ignorant.

He told her of the hidden villages of the shinobi, and how each one would train its ninja with secret techniques only known to the village. There were a few names of villages he listed, and Sayuri did her best to try and remember them, in case he would quiz her later. Her old school was fond of surprise questions.

"And then we have Amegakure. Where we are now."

"Amegakure is a ninja village?" She muttered, thinking aloud, "Then that means, I get to," She turned and looked up at the mask, trying to look him directly in the eye, "Do I get to be…"

"I'm hoping that you can train here as a kunoichi, yes."

"Kunoichi?" Sayuri tilted her head to the side in confusion.

"It means a female shinobi."

At this, Sayuri broke out into a wide grin. "Yes! Thank you Masked man-san!" she exclaimed, bouncing up and down, "Then I can go on special missions," she jumped onto the bed, "And defeat the bad guys!" She finished with a high kick off the bed, eager to show off her skills.

Her dreams of ninja expertise quickly disappeared as she landed with a bump on the floor.

"But," Sayuri said quietly, tears beginning to form in her eyes, "My parents would never let me. It's selfish of me," she finished, letting the tears fall.

He crouched down beside her, a gloved hand wiping away her tears. "Shh little one. Don't you think your parents would want you to be happy? And now you're away from that mean village, I'm sure they would love for you to be a shinobi."

Sayuri stopped sniffling. "You really think so?"

"Yes. I think you'll make them proud."

Sayuri smiled again. He was so nice. She was glad to have made a friend like him.

"So when do my lessons start?!" she asked, bouncing back up on her feet.

"Soon, little one," said the masked man, standing up himself.

"My name is not little one by the way, it's Sayuri,” she declared, stretching herself up to her full height. Sayuri the super shinobi, she would say later, once she had done all her training and became the best ninja ever.

"And my name is not Masked man-san, Sayuri-chan. Its Tobi."

"Okay, Tobi-san. Nice to meet you,” Sayuri bowed.

He did not return it, only held out his hand, "Come. There's some people...friends of mine that I want you to meet."

She took it, and he led her out of the room, into a hallway, down some steps, and through to a kind of sitting room. 

Tobi directed her to sit down upon one of the two sofas in the room, before taking a seat himself, his pose at once confident and relaxed. The friends were on the second sofa, which stood to the right of the first, the whole set-up forming a reverse L-shape. They were both clad in similar fashion, a long black coat with red clouds, but other than that they looked very different from one another. One was a female, with orange eyes, and pretty blue hair, and a piercing under her lip, and a flower in her hair. Her expression looked soft and Sayuri thought that they could be friends. The other person, a man, had bright orange spiky hair and much more piercings on his face than the lady. He had cold grey eyes that seemed to be appraising Sayuri critically as he looked her up and down. His stare was so intense that she turned to Tobi in an attempt to bury herself in his top.

She felt a hand stroking her hair comfortingly.

"So, this is the child?" It was the man's voice. He certainly didn't sound like someone who wanted Sayuri to be there "She looks very young." Sayuri snapped her head up, ready to tell him that she wasn't very young thank you very much, and was in fact, a whole eight years.

She pouted at him, and for a brief moment the man showed a look of surprise, before resuming his deadpan stare. There was a noise behind Sayuri that could have been a chuckle.

Luckily, the staring contest was cut short by the voice of the woman, who asked,

"What's your name sweetie?"

Sayuri pulled away from the gaze of the grey eyed man, and greeted the lady with a wide smile. She figured it was best to make friends with everyone, except when they were mean to her. "It's Sayuri, what's yours?"

"I'm Konan, and this is Pain," said the blue haired lady, gesturing to the man beside her.

Pain. The name was certainly fitting, especially if everyone felt as Sayuri did under his gaze. As a rule, she preferred the name Tobi. It sounded much nicer.

"So, Sayuri," Pain began, fixing her with his cold stare. Sayuri couldn't help but return the gaze. She felt something bad might happen if she looked away. "You wish to train in my village child?"

"Your village?" Sayuri blurted out, before she could stop herself. She thought it was Tobi's village, and felt her cheeks burning up for having got it wrong.

If Pain was amused or annoyed by her reaction, he didn't show it. "Yes, I am the leader of Amegakure, and I don't let just anyone into the academy. You need to prove you will be loyal. Outsiders are not viewed kindly. And there is the reputation of the village to protect. Agree to all of this, and I may just let you in."

Sayuri wanted to do nothing else than bury herself into Tobi's top again, but she felt that such an act would be viewed as a sign of weakness. Instead she summoned her courage and looked Pain straight in the eye.

"Yes Pain-sama, I will do my best to serve the village," she said, trying her best to channel what she had been taught in elocution lessons, "Please allow me to train here and become a shinobi of Amegakure."

He nodded solemnly. "Very well. You may stay."

Sayuri blinked. Was that it? She thought there might have been some special test she had to pass.

There was a beat, where Sayuri sat unsure what to do with herself, and she looked towards Tobi for guidance. He responded by standing up out of his languid pose.

"Come."

She followed him out of the room, back past the stairwell, and through a door at the end of the corridor.

It turned out to be a kitchen, all stainless steel and brown wood. It seemed to be equipped with all the necessary things a kitchen should need, and in the centre was a wooden table and six chairs to go with it. Above the sink was a large window with a slatted blind, which Sayuri ran to in an attempt to see more of the village. It was still raining. Sayuri had a much better view from here compared to the bedroom window before. Especially as she could see the ninja academy more clearly. Or what she guessed was the academy. She was about to ask Tobi to confirm it, when his voice broke through her thoughts.

"Sayuri-chan, are you hungry?" He was looking into the fridge.

She bit her lip. This sort of question was likely to be a trick back in her old village school. But Tobi seemed to decide that she was, and withdrew from the fridge with a bag of bread in his hand. "Sit down," he said, nodding his head towards the table, "And I'll get you some breakfast."

Sayuri did so and watched as Tobi put two slices of bread in the toaster, left the bread on the counter, retrieved a plate from the cupboard above, put it down, then stood and stared at the toaster, arms folded.

"Tobi-san, is that the academy there?" Sayuri asked, pointing out the window.

He lifted his head up and went to the window to look out himself. "That's right."

"And I'm going to train there?"

"You are."

"Yay!" Sayuri clapped her hands, "What's it like in the academy, did you go there?"

"No."

That was confusing. How was Tobi a shinobi if he didn't go to the academy? "Where did you go?" she asked.

There was a pause. "It doesn't matter," he replied, in a tone that suggested she better not ask again.

Sayuri resumed looking out of the window, watching the rain fall down. Where did Tobi come from? If he wasn’t from Ame, was he on some kind of top-secret mission?

She was pulled out of her thoughts by the movement of a plate being set down in front of her. Two slices of thick white toast with butter and strawberry jam. He also had filled a glass with water.

"Thank you," said Sayuri, minding her manners.

"Eat. I need to discuss something with Pain and Konan." And Sayuri was left by herself.

The toast was quite nice actually, and Sayuri had started on the second slice, when suddenly, a plant emerged out of the ground.

The toast dropped from her hands, and Sayuri continued to stare in disbelief at the leafy appendages slowly opened to reveal a man who was half marshmallow white, and half pitch black. He wore the same cloak that Pain and Konan did.

Sayuri was confused by the attire. She had been certain it was a couple thing, but now she wasn't sure. Maybe she would ask Tobi about it later.

"Hello little girl," spoke the white half.

"Um, hello," she said, feeling very small, her eyes fixed on the strange man.

" **What are you staring at?** " Came the black half, yellow eye gleaming.

"Nothing," Sayuri said quietly and looked down at her plate. She started to pick at the dropped piece of toast.

"You're Sayuri-chan aren't you? Tobi told us you'd be here."

"Yes, I am," Sayuri confirmed, reassured by the mention of Tobi's name, "What's your name?"

"We are called Zetsu."

"Nice to meet you Zetsu-san. What do you do here? Are you a ninja too? I'm going to be one, I'm going to join that academy over there," she gestured over to the window.

Yes, I am a skilled shinobi––"

"Cool!" said Sayuri, leaning forward, "Do you do any cool missions ? I'm going to go on lots of missions, well I hope I am," she swung her legs back and forth on the chair, "And I hope I can make lots of friends, like you, and Konan-san, and maybe Pain-san, though he seems a bit scary, and of course Tobi-san, I hope he can be my friend. No, my best friend, I've never had a best friend before, do you think he would be my best friend?"

"Who to be your best friend Sayuri-chan?"

"Tobi!" Sayuri turned in her seat to smile at him, "You're my best friend, is it okay?"

"Of course."

––

That evening Sayuri was back in her new room, staring out of the window again. The village was perhaps more beautiful at night. Thousands of electric lights lit up in a way she had never seen before.

"Sayuri-chan, come here," said Tobi

"In a minute, I'm still looking," she replied, not turning away from the window. She would never grow tired of a sight like this. And how wonderful for her, to be given the luxury of living here!

"Sayuri!" His voice was sharp, and had taken on a darker tone. Sayuri turned around to look at him leaning against the wall, and bit her lip. It just occurred to her she was in a strange village with these strange people, and her mummy and daddy were gone.

Tobi moved away from the wall and closer to the bed. "Sayuri, come here."

Sayuri promptly burst into tears.

"Hey, hey little one, what's the matter?" He knelt in front of her, and grasped her firmly by the arms.

"I want them back. I want my mummy and daddy," she wailed, wiping her eyes with her sleeve.

"I know little one. But I need you to be good, and brave. Can you do that for me? Please?"

Sayuri sniffed and nodded, hiccupping. She would be good. She would try her best for Tobi.

He took her hand and led her to sit her on the bed next to him. "Sayuri-chan, I need to talk to you about something important."

"Okay…"

"I'm on a very special, secret mission right now—"

The mention of a mission made her temporarily forget her pain, and Sayuri bounced on the bed in her excitement. "Oh, oh, what kind of mission?"

"It's a secret, that means I can't tell anyone."

"Oh, yes…" Sayuri knew what secret meant, she wasn't stupid.

"Apart from the people in this building, no-one knows I am here, so you must promise me, not to breathe a word. My mission is very important for the sake of this world, so you must not say anything. Can you do that for me?"

Sayuri nodded. Tobi was obviously a very skilled ninja, and this mission must be very important for it to be secret like that. And he had told her about it! Sayuri felt very special indeed. "I promise,” she said solemnly.

"Thank you."

She wrapped her tiny arms around him. "Thank you for letting me be in this village Tobi-san. And thank you for saving me." He stiffened for a second, then relaxed into the hug, and a hand went to stroke her hair.

"That's quite alright Sayuri-chan. Now, off to bed," he said, pulling apart.

—

Obito shut the door behind him, a sly grin behind the mask.

" **Having fun with Sayuri-chan,** " Black Zetsu mocked, his body half-way out of the wall.

Obito ignored him, and carried on down the corridor.

"What's your game? We need to stick to the plan that Madara set forth," came White Zetsu's voice behind him.

"I will, don't worry."

"Worry? I'm only concerned that you will be distracted."

Obito stopped. Distracted? What a suggestion. He turned to face Zetsu, "She has a great power I need."

Zetsu made a face. "I do not see anything about her that is great."

"I told you, she's exactly what I want."

"Whatever you say boss.  **But make sure that you know what you're doing.** "

"Oh believe me, I know."

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I always enjoy fics where we get to see more of the other Hidden Villages besides Konoha. I hope you enjoy my depiction if Ame.
> 
> What’s your favourite place in the Naruto series?


	4. Training begins

Chapter 4: Training begins

Sayuri had thought that she was excited to join the academy. That was before she was forced to stand in front of a room full of 30 rather disinterested children, as the teacher, Makoto-sensei, introduced her as a new student to the class.

The day had started off well enough. Finding herself unable to sleep, Sayuri had woken in the early hours of the morning, and spent a while staring out of the window, seeing the city slowly come to life. The rain was reduced to a fine drizzle, and the grey of the city was bathed in a golden glow.

"You're up early little one." Sayuri jumped at the voice. How had he gotten in her room without her knowing? She hadn’t heard the door open.

"I can't sleep," she said, turning her head towards him. Even at this time, he still wore his mask, his dark hair flowing out in layered spikes from behind it.

"Come here," he said, beckoning her.

She stepped towards him, and then stopped right in front of him, looking up at the mask. She wondered how long it would take her to grow that tall. Probably years and years. He crouched down to her level, and Sayuri looked him right in the one visible eye.

"I got you something."

He produced from his sleeve, a ribbon in a deep forest green. It was so pretty! Was it for her? Sayuri gave out a squeal of excitement, waving her arms about.

"Shh, turn around." She did as she was told, and she felt him fixing the ribbon in her hair. When he commented "done", she whirled around to face him.

“Thank you so much for the present, Tobi-san, I really like it! Can I go have breakfast now?" she added, suddenly feeling hungry.

He nodded, and she ran out of the bathroom and down the stairs, then skipped along the corridor to the kitchen. She was going to the academy, she was going to become a ninja, a really strong one! She skidded into the kitchen, and then turned back towards the door. Where was Tobi?

She walked back out into the corridor to look for him. 

"Tobi?" she called out, and walked back up the stairs.

She stopped in the middle of the stairwell, seeing Tobi in conversation with Pain. They were talking in low voices, the kind that grown-ups used when they didn't want children to hear, so Sayuri quickly crouched down and hoped they didn't see her.

She caught a snippet of the conversation.

"...why she is here?!" It was Pain's voice, spoken in an angry whisper.

"Are you questioning me?" The voice was dark, and it sent a shiver up her spine. Was that Tobi? It was like the voice he had used last night, when he wanted her to come away from the window.

He spoke again. "Sayuri," She jumped, how did he know she was there? "Go downstairs to the kitchen and wait for me there." She didn't need to be told twice.

She had been in trouble enough times at school to know what it was like when grown-ups used their mean voice then told you to wait somewhere. She had done something wrong again. Pain didn't want her there and now Tobi was upset with her. She found herself crying and tried to wipe away her tears with the sleeve of her pyjamas. Only babies cried.

"Shh, it's okay." Sayuri suddenly found herself held against a black shirt, and felt a hand stroke the back of her head.

He made soothing sounds, but wait, wasn't he going to scold her?

He had seemed angry with her, and Pain definitely didn't want her here. So she opened her mouth to talk to him. It was better to apologise first, then she wouldn't be punished as much.

"I'm sorry Tobi-san, I know I was a bad girl for waking up early. I won't do it again, I'm really sorry, and I'm sorry I'm annoying Pain-san as well."

There was a pause. "What are you talking about little one?"

I thought you were angry at me, said Sayuri, biting her lip, "You used your scary voice…" She looked at the floor, twisting her body away.

"My scary voice? Well I'll be sure not to use it again."

He took Sayuri's hand and his manner suddenly changed. "Let's go get breakfast!" he yelled, and started whizzing around the kitchen. He narrated his own actions in a sing-song voice, and pretended to almost drop things before catching them an inch from the floor. Sayuri laughed and at the end, she was presented with a plate of golden pancakes, decorated with a smiley face drawn in syrup.

They were delicious. Tobi must be good at everything. Her mother never made her pancakes on a school day. Sayuri paused. She found she had no appetite after all.

"Is Sayuri-chan okay?" Came Tobi's sing-song voice.

"I'm fine. It's just...Do you know what happens when you die?"

Tobi hesitated in answering, and Sayuri quickly said, "I'm sorry, it was a stupid question."

He took a lock of her hair, twirling it in his fingers and answered her in his normal voice,

"No-one knows, I'm sorry."

It seemed that there were questions that even Tobi couldn't answer. It was no use getting upset on the first day though, so she resolved that today was going to be a great day, and continued eating her pancakes.

"How tall do I have to be to be a shinobi?" She asked between bites.

"Oh I don't know, you maybe have to grow this much?" He gestured with his finger and thumb.

Sayuri decided she would grow tall to be the best ninja she could be. She found herself daydreaming, being on cool missions with Tobi.

A hand snatched a pancake up from her plate .

"Hey!" she frowned, as he turned his face away and slipped the pancake underneath his mask.

Sayuri pouted, putting a hand round her plate protectively. My pancakes.

She was glad that Tobi wasn't angry with her. He was a good friend.

—

She wanted to make friends in this lesson too.

Sayuri peered around the room curiously. The students in this class, although a couple of years younger than her, were an altogether different sort from the girls at her old school. Children in Ame were harder of face, and rougher of disposition.

"Let's all make Sayuri welcome here class," said the teacher, and Sayuri was directed to a seat towards the right side of the room.The boy she sat next to did not say a word to her as the lesson continued, but kept turning and chatting to the boys sat behind him.

As for the class itself, Sayuri found it difficult from the start. She thought the little bits she had read about ninjutsu would be fine, but she was wrong. There were so many parts to being a ninja she had not considered before. Not only ninjutsu, genjutsu and taijutsu, but physics, anatomy, planning, diet, etc, all things she found very overwhelming that first day. More and more she found that she didn't understand what the teacher was talking about, but was too afraid to raise her hand. They would all think she was so stupid.

She did try asking her neighbour for help, but all he did was point at the textbook and say "You talk funny." 

The practical portion did not fare her any better. Her technique was unpracticed, and sloppy, and her opponents got the better of her easily.

At the end of the school day, she rushed back home with tears in her eyes. She collided with someone in the hallway.

"Watch where you're going," said Pain, staring down at her.

"Sorry, I—I didn't mean to," she apologised, her lip quivering.

"Sayuri-chan!" She jumped, where did Tobi come from?

"What are you doing here with Pain-san?" The mask turned from one person to the other.

"Nothing, I bumped into him, but it was an accident, I swear, I'm sorry."

"You should be more careful next time, Or I might have to rescind my offer of letting you stay here," was Pain's steely response.

Tobi stepped in front of Sayuri, "That's not very nice to Sayuri-chan," he said, and for a moment she felt the same energy she had felt back at her village, or should she be calling it chakra now? Tobi's felt intense and powerful.

Pain locked gazes with Tobi for a few seconds, before saying "Make sure she keeps out of my way." Then he walked off down the corridor.

Tobi turned to face her. "What's wrong Sayuri-chan? Did something happen?"

"I can't do it, Tobi-san. Everything at school was too hard for me, I didn't understand anything!"

"Maybe you just need some more help," He held out his hand, "Come."

They went to a training room, where he produced a sword and then held one out to her.

"Give this a try."

Sayuri reckoned that holding a weapon meant she was now like a real ninja, and waved the sword about haphazardly. She imagined she was fighting off a horde of enemies, defending the village and then becoming a hero. Her day was cut off by the sharp clang of metal against metal, and a force against her arms. Tobi sat crossed legged on the floor, holding his own sword against hers.

"Are you ready?"

She nodded.

He stood up and Sayuri held her sword expectant for his attack.

"First of all, we need to hold it properly," he said, and moved her fingers to the right position on the handle. Then he showed her the correct stance, and went through a series of simple moves, always correcting her posture. He was a very thorough teacher, and wouldn't let her make one mistake. After a while Sayuri was trying to hold back yawns. They didn’t go unnoticed by Tobi however, who called the session to an end.

"Aren't we going to go to do some real training?" Sayuri protested, rubbing her eyes.

"We were doing real training."

"But I want to spar against you, then I can be a really strong ninja!”

He made a sound that could have been a chuckle. "Maybe next time."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I think it’s watching too many Disney and high fantasy genre movies that have romanticised sword fighting for me. What can I say? They look flashy.
> 
> Thank you for reading darlings.


	5. Building a Bathroom

By her third week at the academy, Sayuri's life had developed a pattern. She would study at the academy, run home, train with Tobi, and go to bed ready for the next day. She was slowly getting used to her lessons. While she hadn't exactly made any firm friends, by that time her peers were accepting of the outsider, and it wasn't like anyone was particularly nasty. Not like before, when she had been teased regularly by the girls in her class. "My mama says that only delinquents are red-haired," one girl had said, pulling on Sayuri's pigtail.

Home. Sayuri didn't like to think about it much, for she would inevitably think of her parents, and that made her sad. At least she was no longer getting overwhelmed by every lesson at the academy. That was thanks in part to Tobi's mentoring, who not only taught her practical skills, but theory as well.

One day they sat at the kitchen table; Sayuri was finishing a piece of homework. There was a class assignment to write an essay on the battle of kawakita, which occurred two years ago between the forces of Amegakure and shinobi from the Land of Rivers. Sayuri never thought that there would be so much writing in ninja school!

Tobi was doing, well she didn't know what he was doing exactly. She knew it must be something related to his super secret mission and the special group, 'Akatsuki' they were called. Sayuri's thoughts that the matching cloaks were to do with some sort of group were right, but she wasn't sure exactly what it was they did.

—

"That's not for you to worry about," Tobi said, when she asked him about the group.

"Why not?" She asked, taking out the kunai that were embedded in the target. Her best score so far. Not good enough for Tobi though, who would make her practice again and again until dinner.

"Because you're not old enough, that's why."

"Oh..." That meant 'I don't want to tell you, and stop asking questions.' She flexed her hand, which had turned red. The last kunai was very stubborn and didn't want to shift.

Toni's gloved hand covered hers. "You need to put some chakra into it, like this."

She felt the warmth of his chakra flow through his hand, and together, they pulled out the kunai together.

"So can I join the Akatsuki?"

"No."

—

Tobi had a few scrolls out on the table that he appeared to be studying, but whenever she tried to glance at them he would shield them from her view and tell her to concentrate on her homework. So she gave up and turned her attention to her work.

Satisfied that her essay was complete, Sayuri stretched, arms out wide. No more homework! She sighed in satisfaction and let her arms drop down again, then started to amuse herself by rolling her pencil back and forth across the table.

Tobi raised his head. "You're done?"

"Yes," she confirmed, swinging her legs under the table in the manner of someone who could now do whatever they wanted before bedtime.

"Good, because there's something I need to tell you."

Sayuri sat straighter in her seat. "What, what?" Was he going to show her some super cool move? She asked him a week ago if he knew any. "Lots", he had said.

But this was something far less exciting.

"I'll be going away from tomorrow. It's an important mission, so I need you to stay here and behave."

Sayuri deflated. "But… but who is going to train me?"

"Oh I'm sure you'll be fine on your own for a few days, hmm."

"But that's not fair," she sulked. Why did he have to leave? Tobi had said he would always be there for her, and now he was going off places. What did he even have to do anyway?

"Are you done?" His voice snapped her out of the thoughts, and with a burning of her cheeks, Sayuri realised she had been muttering under her breath.

"I'm sorry," she said, biting her lip. She was being selfish. She couldn't expect Tobi to stay with her all the time. "I'll work really hard when you're away," she said confidently.

There was a sound of acknowledgement, and then her paper was suddenly snatched up from infront of her.

"Hey!" Sayuri protested. She didn't want Tobi to read it, he would only pick out what she did wrong. She tried to take it back, but he held it high above his head. When she stood on the chair to try and reach it, he held it behind his back.

Sayuri sat down with a sigh, resting her head on her closed fists. She sighed again, crossed her arms, and pouted at his mask. The black stripes stared back at her unmoving. If only she could see his face underneath.

'Quick, while he's distracted, reading the essay!' Her hand went out, just a finger away from the edge of his mask and...

"Stop." He caught her wrist in his hand. He let go, and resumed reading.

As she sat holding her wrist, a plan formed in her mind. Sayuri made a show of rubbing her wrist and making an exclamation of pain.

He put the paper down. "What's wrong?"

"It really hurts!" she said, making sure to make herself seem very pitiful.

"Let me see," said Tobi, offering out his hand. Sayuri placed her wrist in his palm, and he looked at it closely, turning it over.

"I don't see anything…"

"That's because it's fine!" She snatched up the essay and ran off.

It took only a few seconds for him to catch up, and soon Tobi stood in front of her, hand out flat.

"Give it back."

"No, it's mine," she said, clutching it tighter behind her back.

"Will you stop acting like this?" He grabbed her arm and tried to yank the essay out of her hand.

There was the sound of ripping, and Sayuri looked at the torn scrap of paper in her hand.

She stood pursing her mouth tight and swallowing a lump in her throat. She wouldn't cry. She was a ninja now. She was strong.

Her vision blurred and she felt an arm pull her to a warm body and a hand stroking her hair.

"Sayuri, I'm sorry, I didn't mean…"

She rested against the black fabric, sniffling against him.

"I want them back."

"I know."

"I wish they didn't die."

"I know."

"I wish you weren't going away."

He pulled away from her and crouched in front of her, his eye looking directly at her.

"I know, but I have to. But you be good for me, okay?"

She nodded, wiping her tears away with the back of her hand.

He straightened up, and patted her on the head.

"Tobi-san, how long will your mission take?"

"About a week or something."

A week. She could do a week, it would be fine. "When you're back I'll have learned a new jutsu!"

"Is that so?" he asked, twirling a lock of her hair between his fingers.

Sayuri nodded determinedly. She would show him.

—

Sayuri skidded in to the kitchen, and looked at the clock on the wall. "5 minutes 3 seconds!" Poo, that's worse than yesterday! Her record was 4 minutes 47 so far.

After a moment to catch her breath, she headed to the training room.

A whole new jutsu in a week.

That whole day at school she had spent the time trying to come up with something. Something to do with water, she supposed. She seemed to have a knack for that particular nature, apparently. Or as Tobi called, it an affinity.

In the training room, Sayuri focused herself, then performed the signs for a water bullet jutsu. A small jet of water streamed towards the dummy, barely affecting it. She would need to work hard to make any difference.

After ten tries, she had managed to make a dent in the dummy. After twenty she managed to make the stream bigger. After 30 she was able to make the water flow last longer.

After 40, a stern voice had asked;

"Are you trying to make a new bathroom?"

Sayuri jumped, and looked round to see Pain standing in the doorway, his face impassive as usual. She flushed in embarrassment.

She had been trying to stay on the good side of him since this morning when she had made a lot of noise in the kitchen by sending all the pots and pans clattering to the floor. She had only been trying to make breakfast. Tobi normally cared for that but with him gone she would have to make do on her own.

But Pain had not been sympathetic and complained "Who is making that abominable noise?" He had walked into the kitchen, eyes half open, and glared when he saw it was her.

And that afternoon it seemed, he was grumpy again.

"No, sorry Pain-sama, I was just trying out a new jutsu."

He cocked an eyebrow. "Why don't you learn a clean-up-the-water jutsu while you're at it."

"But I...I don't know how."

Pain sighed, and showed her a couple of hand-signs. "Try this," he said, and left her on her own again.

She did the hand signs as he had done, and the water evaporated. Cool.

"Thank you!" She called out to Pain's retreating form.

By the end of the third day, she sent the dummy in to the back wall and managed to hold it there for ten seconds. Pain had come to watch again, just for a few minutes, as he had done the day before, but he did not make any comments on her performance. She felt slightly self-conscious with an audience, but he was no worse than Tobi. Besides, she could use the opportunity to ask some questions.

"Pain-sama, the Akatsuki, what is it that you do?"

A pause.

"What is it that you think we do?"

"Erm, super cool ninja stuff?"

"Right. And you think that being a ninja is some sort of game, do you?"

"No, I just thought...maybe I could help."

Pain narrowed his eyes and left.

—

Konan took a little while to answer when Sayuri asked her about the Akatsuki the next day.

"Peace…"

"Huh?"

Konan opened up her hands which had been working at a piece of purple paper to reveal a delicate chrysanthemum, an intricate shape of tiny petals. It was beautiful.

"Sorry, you were asking what it is we do?"

Sayuri nodded.

"Well that's it. I mean of course we do what anyone else does. Take on missions and the like, but our main purpose, our goal, is peace."

Sayuri put down the piece of paper she was working on. It was no use; it wouldn't come out well no matter what she did. "But I thought we already had peace?"

"There's always fighting somewhere. We want to put a stop to it. Once and for all." Konan started arranging the paper flowers into a vase.

It was an admirable cause. Of course Tobi would be part of such a great organisation. What would it be like to fight alongside him, ridding the world of evil?

"Do you think I can join, when I'm older?"

Konan gave her a long look.

"...I’m sure you will,” she said eventually.

Sayuri hoped so.

—

On the fifth day, she sent the dummy hurtling against the back wall, held it in place for twenty seconds or so, then let it come crashing to the ground.

"Use it against me."

Sayuri whipped around at the sound of the voice. He was home! She wanted to run and give Tobi a hug, but she had to be serious.

"But...you might get hurt."

"Try it."

She aimed, and the jet of water hit him square in the stomach, then he disappeared, and the dummy was in his place.

She had no time to think about the substitution when a force from behind knocked her to the ground.

"You're meant to see through the substitution jutsu Sayuri ."

Sayuri got up off the floor, saying "But that's not fair, I wasn't ready."

"That just tells me you need to train harder," he held out her sword for her to grasp it, "Spar with me."

She managed to keep up a front for a few minutes dodging and ducking, fending off his blows. It was silly to think she could ever land a strike against him. Not before she trained a bit more. However, she felt pleased she could defend herself against him for even a short while.

Sayuri could not keep up the defence forever though, and soon found a sword point at her throat. She stumbled to the floor and looked up into the face of the mask. She felt her heart thump wildly in her chest and thought of what Tobi's enemies must feel like. He was terrifying. Then the sword was lowered and he crouched down to sit beside her. He was kind Tobi again, and would never hurt her. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for the two people who gave me kudos! I’m glad you like it.


	6. Mayumi

Following his first absence, Tobi continued to disappear for periods at a time. He wouldn't always tell her where he was going, even when she begged him to, saying "please" in her best voice. He just said "It's a secret," or gave some sort of vague answer. Sometimes he didn't tell her he was going at all, and she would come home to find him absent and had to wait until he came back. When she asked the other inhabitants of the tower where he had gone, she got some variant of "I don't know,", "Stop bothering me," and "I eat little girls for dinner." She wasn't sure if that one was a joke or not, but decided not to hang around Zetsu too much on her own.

It was approaching six months at the academy when she was asked to stay behind after class one winter afternoon. Sayuri wondered what it was she did wrong. She had never been in trouble before. 

That was a lie. She had never been in trouble at the ninja academy in Ame before.

The look on Makoto-sensei's face wasn't a frown though. Rather, his expression was quite kind.

"Tachimae-san, how are you finding lessons at the moment?"

Was this some kind of test? "Good, sensei."

"Good? Are you not finding it too easy?"

Sayuri considered. It did seem she had the edge on her classmates nowadays. All thanks to Tobi of course.

"Um, a little."

The teacher gave her a look. "Well, I've been talking to the other teachers, and Konan-sama. We decided it was best if you moved up a class."

Move up? "Okay...When would I move?"

"Well I don't see any reason to delay. There's still some paperwork to sort, but you should start in Naoko-sensei's class this Thursday. Have a good evening, Tachimae-san."

Sayuri bowed deeply. "Thank you so much for teaching me, Makoto-sensei."

—

The students in her new class were older, and Sayuri was conscious of them staring at her as she stood at the front. She had thought it would be easier since she had done this before. But while her previous peers had been largely apathetic, this class seemed a lot more focused, and Sayuri tried not to look directly at anyone for too long, putting on her best smile. Naoko-sensei was a tall, thin woman, and she had smiled encouragingly to Sayuri as she made her self-introduction to the class.

She was seated next to a girl called Kamichou Mayumi, who had a head full of blonde ringlets and a habit of chewing on the end of her pencil when thinking, so much so that the wooden implement was covered in tiny little bite marks. Sayuri smiled brightly at her as she sat down, and was met with a small smile in return. Mayumi looked as if she was about to ask Sayuri something, then shut her mouth and turned back towards the front, fiddling with a piece of paper on her desk.

Sayuri turned her head towards her, "Is anything the matter?"

Mayumi looked up. "No, it's nothing."

"Okay," said Sayuri cheerily, and decided to leave things as they were.

This class was definitely more of a challenge, which meant Sayuri had to really concentrate on the quiz the students were given that lesson.

Suddenly she felt a sharp poke in her arm, and looked up to see Mayumi with her pencil in her hand and a frown on her face.

"Sorry," she said in a low voice, "I tried to whisper but you weren't listening. Do you know the answer to question 4?"

"4? I got B," Sayuri whispered back. It wasn't a marked test after all, so there would be no trouble if she helped out her partner.

When the bell for lunch rang, Mayumi said,

"Um, this is for you," and held out her hand. Resting on top of her palm was a tiny paper butterfly.

"It's beautiful, thank you," Sayuri replied, cupping her hands to receive the gift. She was immediately reminded of Konan's skills. Mayumi placed it in her hands, and up-close Sayuri could see the folds of paper in the tiny body.

They were approached by a girl with shocking pink hair, worn cropped to her shoulders.

"Mayumi-chan!" said the girl by way of greeting, "Oh hello," she said, addressing Sayuri for the first time.

"Hello, it's nice to meet you," Sayuri smiled.

"Oh sorry," said Mayumi, suddenly all of a fluster, "Sayuri-chan, can I call you Sayuri chan?"

She nodded.

Mayumi continued. "Sayuri-chan, this is my good friend Reika. Reika-chan, this is Sayuri. She's new."

Reika rolled her eyes. "I already know that, I've been here all morning!"

Mayumi frowned. "I was just saying to be nice. Come on, I'm hungry, let's eat."

Sayuri put down the paper butterfly on a corner of her desk and followed the girls to the lunch room. The school at her home village put a lot of emphasis on the students helping to prepare lunch at school then eat it together, (if Sayuri wasn’t in trouble for something or other) but in Amegakure, everyone brought their own lunch with them.

"So, what's it like then?" asked Reika in between bites, "Sayuri-chan, I'm asking you."

Sayuri tilted her head to the side. "What's what like?"

"Konoha."

"Konoha?" Why were they talking about Konoha all of a sudden?

"Yah. That's what I said, Konoha. You know, The Village Hidden in the Leaves," Reika enunciated, resting her elbow on the table and waving her arm around, "Where you're from," she pointed at Sayuri with her chopsticks.

"I'm not from Konoha..."

Reika swallowed the rice she was eating. "You're not?"

"Told you," said Mayumi, and popped a piece of sushi in her mouth.

Sayuri looked between the two girls. What was going on?

"Why did you think I was from Konoha?" she asked in a small voice.

Reika flushed. "Well I just heard...but it's okay, you're not."

Mayumi looked at Reika and frowned. Then she smiled at Sayuri.

"Don't worry. Just some things people were saying. But you're fine. You're not from Konoha."

Sayuri saddened at the thought of people talking about her. It happened a lot in her home village, but here in Ame, she hoped that she could fit in. That she could be viewed as the same. She put on a brave face to respond to the girls' comments.

"And that's a good thing?"

"Oh yes," said Reika empathetically, "It means you're not an enemy spy."

"Reika!" Mayumi scolded.

"What? I said she wasn't. You don't sound like you're from Konoha anyway, Sayuri-chan. Your voice is all wrong. I mean right. It's okay"

"It is?" Sayuri bit her lip. Was her voice really that bad? She had been making an effort to sound more like the locals, but there were still some slang words she couldn't get her head around.

"Your voice is fine, Sayuri-chan. Better than Reika's," Mayumi teased her friend, to which she responded by sticking her tongue out. "Besides, you don't even know what Konoha shinobi sound like."

"Yes I do,” Reika There was one there, when the restaurant was destroyed. He was definitely from Konoha."

"You said he was wearing a rebreather. And he had the Ame headband."

"But even so, he was from Konoha, I know it."

Sayuri was getting more and more confused by the second.

"Listen to this Sayuri-" Just then the bell rang to signal lunch had finished. "I'll tell you later," Reika said, as they began to file out of the lunch room.

—

When a five minute break was called that afternoon, Reika rushed over from her side of the classroom to where Sayuri and Mayumi were sitting.

"So, it's like this. My family have this restaurant, and it used to be in the main part of town, you know, by the greengrocers and the formal clothing store? So anyway, during the war, you know the war in Ame, when Pain-sama defeated Hanzo?"

Sayuri nodded. She had asked Pain about it one time, and he looked at her suspiciously for a moment, but surprised her by giving her some attention for once, speaking reverently about his glorious victory in bringing peace to the village. Then he said he had things to do and didn't need to be bothered by little girls.

"Yes. So my family used to live above where the restaurant was, me and my parents. And I woke up because I heard fighting so I looked out and I could see Pain-sama's forces fighting this person that was from Konoha, and then this person said something like 'Die scum!' and did some jutsu and it made our restaurant collapse."

"It fell down with you on the floor above? That's horrible." Sayuri couldn't imagine how terrifying it must have been for Reika.

"Well,” Reika admitted after a pause, “It fell down later. It was just damaged then. But the point is I know it was a Konoha shinobi because I heard them. And I could have almost died,” she put her hand to her chest, in some sort of dramatic sorrowful gesture.

"Really?!"

"Yes, but I was okay. Through miraculous fortune, I survived."

"Well I'm glad. I'm sorry that happened to you Reika-chan. Are your family all okay now?"

"Yes we're fine." Reika frowned. "Apart from my baby brother, who is too annoying."

Sayuri smiled.

"But Taro-kun is so cute!" interjected Mayumi.

Reika looked appalled. "Fine, you can have him."

"Okay, five minute break is over! Could everyone get back into their assigned seats please!" Naoko-sensei called.

Reika didn't move. "So that's why I don't like people from Konoha."

"Hirayama-san! Get back in your seat please!"

Reika gave a start. "I am sensei, I was just telling Tachimae-san about the time where I nearly died."

There was a collective groan from the class.

"Yes, I'm sure you were. Now would you get back into your seat?"

Mayumi asked Sayuri if she would like to do some training together after school. "We could practice shuriken or something?"

"Wouldn't you like to practice with Reika?"

Mayumi shook her head, her ringlets bouncing along with the movement. "No, she likes to go straight home."

"Okay, I'll train with you," Sayuri smiled. "But not today. I need to ask—" A sudden sharp pain cut Sayuri short. She was almost going to say Tobi, but just as her mouth was forming the 'T', she felt her throat close up, and she couldn’t get out the word.

She was being stupid again. Tobi had told her not to say anything.

"Are you okay?" 

Sayuri smiled in what she hoped was a reassuring manner. "Yes, fine. I'll have to check if it's okay. Maybe tomorrow?"

"Great."

Sayuri raced home, the thoughts of the day in her head. She was finally making friends and starting to fit in at Amegakure. She couldn't wait to tell Tobi.

—

She called out his name as she searched through the house. He was meant to be home. Had he gone off on a surprise mission again?

"Sayuri-chan!" Came a sing-song voice.

She whipped around. Why was he always popping up out of nowhere?

"Tobi Tobi Tobi! Guess what, guess what, guess what," she said, launching into an account of all the events of that day, "...and can I please train with my friend tomorrow?"

The mask cocked to the side. "Your friend? I thought Tobi was your friend?"

"You are my best friend, but I want to train with my new friend, Mayumi. Pleaaaase."

"Okay, if Sayuri-chan does well in her genjutsu this evening."

"But I thought that was next week!" Sayuri complained, and slid down the wall.

"No, it’s now." The sing-song voice was gone. "Get up."

Sayuri sighed, but did as she was told.

—

It was an easy premise. Tobi would create a genjutsu and all Sayuri would have to do was break it. It would be simple. She had studied chakra control enough.

It would all be fine. She would show him.

Then his eye had turned red.

She was at her parents house. No she wasn't, she was back in Ame with Tobi. It was a genjutsu. She needed to break it.

Focus.

Her parents’ house again. Her mother, calling her name.

No, her mother was dead. And she'd never see her again. She just needed to disrupt her chakra and to do that she needed to—

Her father, this time, the silhouette of his body. "Come with us, Sayuri-chan." The figure held out a hand.

No. Not real father. Stupid fake one. She just needed to be calm and breathe.

Her mother, covered in blood. "It's all your fault, Sayuri. If you weren't so selfish, and behaved yourself, none of this would have happened."

No. Not real. Fake. Go away. Why had she suddenly forgotten everything about chakra manipulation?

Her father again, a sword plunged through him. "Stupid girl, you're not even going to be a good shinobi."

Stop it.

"It's all your fault. Look what you've done!" 

She was holding the sword, covered in blood. She did this.

No. Stop it. Sayuri threw the sword away and it melted into nothing. 

"We never even loved you."

Stop it!

She wouldn’t cry, she was a big girl. She wouldn’t. She pulled at her hair, and the pain as it tugged at her scalp was real at least, so perhaps if she concentrated on that it would make everything else go away.

Her mother’s voice again.

“Sayuri-chan, don’t cry.”

Sayuri looked up. There she was, her mummy, arms out and welcoming.

She ran into her embrace.

“Oh, Sayuri-chan, why did you run off like that? You know you’re not meant to. That’s how I died.”

What? Sayuri lifted her head from where she had buried herself into her mother’s embrace. The skin was grey, rotting, and her eyes, hollow, blood oozing out of them.

No. She took a step back. Get away.

“Sayuri-chan…” Her father’s corpse spoke the words, but the voice was a saccharine musical tone. How deeply she wanted to go to him. To be little Sayuri again, in that little village. Safe.

She musn’t. They were not her parents. It was a trick. She must be strong, and control her chakra like he had told her to.

They held kunai aloft, heading for her, and she backed away. She should be able to overpower these hollow images easily. She was not particularly strong, but an agile kick there and a duck and a weave there and she could escape.

She couldn’t. She could hardly move her feet, except to back into the wall that had formed beside her.

And her hands, her hands, they were covered in blood.

It was a trick. An illusion. Break it. Break it, you stupid girl.

They were almost upon her. Hands, reaching out.

There was nowhere to go. She covered her heads with her hands, pulling tightly on her hair.

“Stop it, stop it, stop it!” In a last-ditch attempt to gain some control of the situation, she grabbed a kunai and thrust into her own arm.

She blinked.

A red eye.

Then black.

—

He left her on her bed. She would wake up in her own time.

"Haven't you overdone it?" Zetsu asked.

Obito considered. Maybe he had done too much. But it wasn't like Madara had been kind with his training. And the girl needed to improve. The faster she did, the faster she would...

Well, all things in time.

Although, for all her spirit, she was still very small. Just a child. No, a silly little girl. Rin was all that mattered. 

"I know what I'm doing."

" **If you say so. I still say we should eat her. ** Anyway, I found them, Obito."

"Show me."

As he went to the other dimension, he smirked behind the mask. Things were going well. He was going to make them pay.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A quick note about the timeline––while the wiki implies Ame's civil war didn't finish until soon before Jiraiya visits in shippuden, I had always assumed that it finished much earlier, and Pain had a much longer tenure as leader. So in the canon of this fic, the civil war begins and ends within a couple years following the end of the Third Shinobi World War. A small detail, but I think it puts things into better perspective.


	7. A name

Sayuri woke up with a start. Her parents, she needed to warn them. Something was going to happen to them, they were going to be…   
  
Dead.   
  
They were dead.   
  
Killed by a man they had considered a friend. No, not considered. He truly was a friend, until the moment their lives were cut short by his hand. Sayuri could hardly believe it when Tobi told her the name of her killer that night. Imobe-san. One of the few village men that had not only tolerated Sayuri but had been kind to her. What had driven him to that act of madness? To the point where he had severed the ties of their friendship by such a cruel act? Sayuri didn’t know.   
  
Or perhaps she did.   
  
Was it her? Had she been the cause? She wanted to be a shinobi. That wasn’t allowed in the village. It was her fault, they had said so.   
  
No they didn’t. It was just a dream. They wouldn’t really say such things.   
  
Everything was fine.   
  
There was someone else in the room with her. A figure, sat on the end of her bed. It was the man come to kill her parents! She must stop him.   
  
She launched herself at him, teeth bared.   
  
Her arms were caught by a strong grip.   
  
“Stop it.”   
  
The voice seemed to trip a switch in her brain, and suddenly everything was brought into sharp focus. A black eye.   
  
Mustn’t look, mustn’t look. She screwed her eyes shut.   
  
The grip on her arms was dropped, and a hand went under her chin, gently coaxing it up. He wore no gloves, and she could feel the worn roughness of his fingers, and a whisper of his chakra.   
  
“Sayuri, look at me.” His voice was gentle.   
  
She opened her eyes, and saw herself reflected in his. She wished she knew what he was thinking, or could at least see his face. She dropped her gaze and relaxed, resting her head forward into his chest.   
  
“How are you feeling?”   
  
“I don’t know...” Hungry, she wanted to say.   
  
His hand ran through the lengths of her hair. “You don’t feel in pain or…?”   
  
“I have a headache,” she admitted,“What time is it?”   
  
“It’s 11 pm,” said Tobi, and Sayuri nodded, rubbing the sleep from her eyes, “Friday evening.”   
  
She looked up at him sharply. Five minutes ago it had been Thursday. She had been asleep all that time?   
  
“Will I have to do it again?” Five minutes later, they were in the kitchen. Tobi was cooking her noodles. Something quick and easy. She did need to go to sleep again soon.   
  
“Do what again?”   
  
“The genjutsu.” She hadn’t really done well at all, and Tobi was sure to make her practice again and again. She would refuse if she could, but there was no way she could be a strong ninja without doing things she didn’t particularly like from time to time. She knew that. She wasn’t stupid.   
  
There was a pause. “No, not at the moment. You should rest first.”   
  
He sat opposite her as she ate, idly rolling a bottle cap across the table surface. A glass of water and a small white pill was provided for her as well.   
  
Painkillers were a very civilian thing, but she supposed he didn’t know any healing jutsu.   
  
“Do you want some?” She offered out a chopstick full of noodles.   
  
“I’m fine.”   
  
“Then stop staring at me while I’m eating.”   
  
“Sorry.” He turned so he was right-angles to her, and started throwing the bottle cap up in the air and catching it.   
  
Afterwards, he attended to her arm, which had been wrapped in a white bandage while she was sleeping. She had cut herself quite deep.   
  
Sayuri winced at the sting of the alcohol he used to clean the wound, biting her lip.

“I don’t want you doing that again,” he said, wrapping it in fresh gauze and bandages, “You could have hit a major artery.”   
  
“Yes Tobi.”   
  
“I have an important mission right now, but I wanted to make sure you were okay.”   
  
“What kind of mission, where?” Sayuri asked, bouncing up from her chair, “Is it a secret one? What are you doing on it? Can I come? Please? I can join you, it will be fun together—”

“Sayuri.”

“What?”

“Shh.”

“Oh,” Sayuri sat back down, “I’m sorry...I just wanted to know more about what you’re doing. I thought that I could help.

He took a long time to answer and Sayuri bit her lip and looked to the floor, feeling very silly. Of course he wouldn’t want her help. She couldn’t even break a simple genjutsu. Eventually, he said,

“...Yes, you could help. When you’re older that is.”

And then he was gone.   
  
—   
  
There was a new paper creation waiting on Sayuri’s desk the following Monday. A tiny lily flower.   
  
“At least your name is easy,” Mayumi said, “Like Reika. It’s nice to have two friends that are flowers.”   
  
“Thank you, it’s beautiful.” Sayuri didn’t pick it up for fear of squashing it.   
  
“She’s worried she said something to upset you. Reika, I mean,” said Mayumi, commenting on Sayuri’s absence the previous Friday.   
  
Sayuri was quick to quell her new friend’s worries. “Oh no, I just got sick, that’s all.”   
  
Mayumi looked at Sayuri and chewed on the end of her pencil. “Huh. Well I’m glad you’re okay now.”   
  
Like Thursday, Reika joined them for lunch. Sayuri later found out that she had originally sat next to Mayumi, but was placed on the other side of the classroom for being a quote, “Disruption,” said with a roll of Reika’s eyes.   
  
“Sayuri-chan! Good to see you! Oh, what happened to your arm?!”   
  
Sayuri tugged down her sleeve. It was healing, but still needed to be covered.

“Oh, I was just a bit clumsy training, that’s all. It will mend.”   
  
‘Well,” said Reika, her grin mischievous, “we could always ask Mayumi’s boyfriend to take a look at it.”   
  
At this, Mayumi turned bright red. “He’s not my boyfriend.”   
  
Reika rolled her eyes. “He so is. Hey, Masuo-kun, over here!” She stood up, waving to a spot in the lunchroom.   
  
“Reika-chan!” Mayumi hissed, cheeks flushing.   
  
A boy with green hair and dark eyes approached the table. His gaze lingered on Mayumi for a bit, the hint of a smile on his lips, before he turned to Reika with a somewhat irritated expression.   
  
“What do you want, Nakamura-san?”   
  
If Reika was irritated by the boy’s particular formality she did not show it.

“Nothing,” said Reika brightly, “We just need you to use your healing jutsu on our friend Sayuri here.”   
  
Sayuri smiled at him. He scowled in return.   
  
“Didn’t they teach you healing jutsu where you come from?”   
  
Sayuri opened her mouth to reply, then closed it again. She had the feeling it wouldn’t do well to talk of home, or her time before coming to Ame.   
  
“Tch,” said the boy, “Where are you hurt then?”   
  
“My arm, but it’s okay, you don’t have to…”   
  
“Oh nonsense!” Reika said, pulling up Sayuri’s sleeve and showing the affected arm to Masuo. “Go on, heal it.”   
  
The bandage was removed and the three girls intently watched Masuo work, a soft green light emanating from his hands. Even Mayumi, who had been staring at her lap the whole time, watched in wonderment. The broken tissue was slowly fused back together, it stung a little, but Sayuri was resolved not to show any weakness to this boy who was so hostile towards her. Eventually, the wound was all but vanished, save for a thin scar that remained.   
  
“Thank you, Masuo-san,” Sayuri smiled, trying to remain friendly.

His response was everything but.   
“You should have gone to the hospital. But I guess they won’t deal with outsiders like you.” With that final remark, he walked off.   
  
Silence.   
  
“Hey, you take that back right now!” Reika yelled, and stood up as if to go over and fight Masuo right there and then. She was stopped by Mayumi who shook her head and looked wistfully over at Masuo, before turning to Sayuri and asking if she was alright.   
  
“It’s fine,” said Sayuri, and smiled carefully to conceal how Masuo’s words had stung.   
  
“Don’t listen to him. He’s just jealous,” Reika said, and sat back down, “Why didn’t you go to the hospital?”   
  
“Oh, I didn’t want to bother them. They get really busy,” Sayuri lied.   
  
“Fair enough. Hey, Mayumi-chan, did you see the new trailer for Ayumi’s new movie?” Reika said, and the conversation moved on.

__   
  
They had their training date that evening; Sayuri had forgotten to ask, but Tobi wouldn’t be home until Wednesday after all. Mayumi led her to a training ground on a rooftop in the north of town. It was tucked away between the high-rise buildings, and Sayuri was sure she would have trouble in finding it on her own. The damp February air had an uncomfortable chill to it, and Sayuri was glad for her warm coat.   
  
Mayumi was frowning though, as she looked around. "There should be some targets here. They were broken last time. I thought they already fixed them, but looks like they're still in repairs. Oh well. Want to spar?"   
  
Sayuri often went all out when sparring against Tobi, not that she could ever beat him, but when fighting someone only a year older than her, she wanted to be cautious. Not that Mayumi was untalented, far from it. Her talents with paper didn't stop with origami, it seemed she had incorporated it into her jutsu too. What Sayuri thought were shuriken coming her way, were in fact pieces of paper spinning really fast. Then came the finely rolled rods, shaped to be like senbon. What was the most admirable however was the tiny paper wings that would flit around and attack under Mayumi's control. Sayuri moved quickly to dodge them and retaliate with some water jutsu of her own.   
  
“Wow, you’re so skilled,” Sayuri enthused, when they had taken a break.   
  
Mayumi blushed. “Thank you, but it’s not so good in the rain yet. I heard Konan-sama makes hers oiled, do you know anything about that?” She looked at Sayuri hopefully.   
  
“Oh, err,” In truth Sayuri had not seen Konan’s jutsu extensively up close, “I don’t really know.”   
  
Mayumi’s face fell. “I just figured that you might... it doesn’t matter.”   
  
“But I could ask her if you’d like?”   
  
Mayumi beamed. “Really?! You’d do that?”   
  
“Of course, we’re friends right?” Sayuri smiled.   
  
They resumed training, this time focusing on their taijutsu. The rain was now coming down fast, so it was harder to fight, and the girls soon gave up and stood around chatting. They would have been expected to carry on despite the weather during lesson time. But this was outside academy hours, so they could do as they liked. They sat in a corner of the roof undercover.   
  
“Why doesn’t Reika want to come?” Sayuri hoped it had nothing to do with her.   
  
“Reika? She likes to help out at her family’s restaurant in the evenings. Clearing tables and stuff.”   
  
“So, it was rebuilt?” Had Reika been exaggerating the story? She had seemed so sincere.   
  
Mayumi shook her head, “Oh no, that took months to clear up, almost a year even, so they got new premises in the east corner.”   
  
“Oh good, I’m glad her family can still have the restaurant.” Sayuri took the end of her ponytail and wrung out the rain from her hair. “Do you think it was a Konoha shinobi that did it?”   
  
Mayumi frowned. “No, not really. I mean I’m not sure. There’s rumours Konoha was involved. But from what Reika’s mum says, sounds like someone from Rain. Reika knows that too, deep down I think. But she doesn't want to say. It’s easier to blame someone else, then think it was someone you knew.”   
  
Sayuri nodded. She knew how hurtful it was when people you thought you could trust did something inexcusable.   
  
Both tired, and with the light rapidly failing, they decided to call it a day.   
  
—   
  
“You’re late.”   
  
Sayuri stopped mid skip in the hallway. He was home early!   
  
“Tobi-san!” She ran up to give him a hug, but something was wrong. His body felt somehow stiff.   
  
He shrugged off her arms. “Where have you been?” His tone was sharp.   
  
“I was out training with my friend, I—”   
  
“Did I say you could do that?”   
  
‘No, but—”   
  
“But you still choose to do it anyway. Why can’t you do as you’re told? Come, we’re training, now.” He grabbed her wrist and pulled her along with him.   
  
Sayuri tried to wriggle free, “But I’ve just been training. Tobi-san, I’m tired.” She was hoping Tobi would cook for her. He was a good cook.   
  
“I don’t care.”   
  
She was all but thrown into the training room. 

Sayuri barely managed to stand up before a fire jutsu came hurtling her way. She just about dodged it, although she felt its burning heat on one side of her body. Then came a set of shuriken, which slashed at her side. This set the tone of the fight, with Sayuri not being able to dodge his attacks, much less creating counters of her own. She tried to put up a wall of water as a barrier, but he simply stuck his arm through it, grabbed her by her top, and threw her across the room.   
  
“Why won’t you change?”   
  
Change? She didn’t know what he meant. Why was he being so mean?   
  
Her body hit the wall with an audible thump.   
  
Sayuri’s head rang out in pain, and she tasted blood in her mouth. She tried to get up, but Tobi was quicker. He pulled on her hair with one hand, and forced her to look in his red eye.   
  
“No, please, you said we weren’t doing that again,” Sayuri whimpered, as the scene shifted to her parents house. She shut her eyes tight, but she could still see it behind her eyelids.   
  
“I don’t care what you want. Do you think she wanted it? What happened to her?” His voice was all around her. What was he talking about? “I thought I already got them before, but some of them escaped. I found them, I found all of them that hurt her. I made them suffer.”   
  
Who suffer? What did he mean? Sayuri felt a grip around her throat.

“And now I’m going to bring her back, and I’m not going to have you ruin things.” The genjutsu faded and she was being held up by her throat. He dropped her to the ground and she felt her head bounce on the hard floor. It hurt terribly.   
  
She was a big girl and she wouldn’t cry. But even as those thoughts appeared in her her minf, Sayuri hugged her knees close and sobbed. For a few moments she was only aware of the terrible pain in her head, the ache in her body and the sound of her own wails.   
  
"Sayuri?" She felt a hand on her shoulder, and she tried to jerk away from him.

"Sayuri, I'm sorry, I…" She chanced a look up, and though her vision blurred, she could see Tobi bent over with his head in his hands. Was he sick? She tried to get up, and reach out for him, but her legs turned to jelly, and she fell down again.

He moved so he was beside her, crouching or kneeling, Sayuri couldn't tell, 

"We're going to go to someone who can treat you, okay?"

"Okay."

He took her hand and then everything mixed together, and Sayuri felt they had moved somewhere. The image stabilised, to an endless room with straight grey blocks. The place was silent.

"Stay here." He disappeared, seemingly swirling into nothingness, and Sayuri was left alone with her thoughts.

Something must have gone wrong on his mission, for Tobi to act that way. He mentioned a 'her'? Who was that? Did he have a girlfriend? Sayuri didn't know of a 'her', but maybe he was going to see his girlfriend when he said he was off on secret missions. Something very bad must have happened for him to act that way. Tobi was kind. He didn't mean to hurt her.

Tobi returned, and he had brought someone with him. A woman, with sandy blonde hair. No headband though.   
  
“You’ve got a lot of nerve, dragging me here like that, Madara-sama.” Who was Madara? Was that Tobi?   
  
There was a gasp. “A child? You’re depraved.”   
  
“She needs healing.”   
  
The woman didn’t reply but moved towards Sayuri.   
  
“Hey sweetie, I’m going to start with your head. It might feel a bit ticklish. You let me know if you want me to stop.”   
  
Sayuri saw a green glow like Masuo had used and felt a sensation running through her head. The pain gradually dissipated. 

“I want double this time,” said the medic, as she worked on Sayuri’s broken ribs, after seeing to the burns on her arm.   
  
“Done,” said Tobi. “The offer still stands, by the way. Join us, then you won’t be stuck doing back-alley operations.”   
  
“I prefer things with how they are.”   
  
“Okay, all done,” she said a few moments later, standing up. “When will I get the money?”   
  
“Tomorrow. Usual place.”   
  
“Fine. Now let me out.”   
  
Tobi stood up, and touched the woman on the shoulder. She disappeared in a whirl of colour.   
  
“Who was that?” Sayuri asked, sitting up.   
  
“An associate of mine.”

Associate? Didn’t he mean, friend? 

“She called you Madara. Is that your name?” It was halfway familiar, as if she read it in a book.   
  
A pause. “It is.”   
  
Sayuri stood up, and looked up at the mask. “Oh, can I just call you Tobi?”   
  
He chuckled. It was warm. There were no traces of the earlier malice. “Of course you can.”   
  
“Can I see your face?”   
  
“No.”   
  
Sayuri pouted. There was a sound that might have been a laugh.   
  
He put his arm around her, and stroked her hair. 

“You must be tired little one. Let’s get you to bed.”


	8. A lost land

Sayuri carefully dragged her brush over the open scroll, marking symbols on the previously blank surface. A book lay open beside her, which she would check in between strokes, ensuring that she didn’t make any mistakes and thus cause the desired effect to fail.   
  
When the last line had been made she left the scroll on the floor to dry, then went to wash the brush in the bathroom, before stepping into the shower herself. Emerging with pyjamas clean on, she went straight to the scroll to see if it was dry.   
  
It was, so she looked around eagerly for something she could use, then untied the ribbon from her hair.   
  
It was laid in the centre of the scroll; the appropriate words were said and with a expulsion of chakra from Sayuri’s palms, it disappeared into the paper. Another muttering of words and use of chakra and the ribbon reappeared. Sayuri checked it over to make sure it had emerged unchanged. Satisfied, she exclaimed in triumph, stretched her arms over her head and leaned back until she lay face up on the floor. Now she had a way to transport safely all the origami that Mayumi had gifted her. She had accumulated quite a collection now over the last couple of months. Part of it was a present Mayumi had insisted on giving to her after delivering a signed letter from Konan.   
  
Konan had smiled at Sayuri’s request after telling her of her friend with the talent for paper jutsu, and said “It would be my pleasure.”   
  
When she read the letter—“Reika-chan, don’t read over my shoulder, it’s private!”—Mayumi sported a massive grin and almost knocked Sayuri off her feet with a hug.   
  
Sayuri still felt guilty though, especially as she had caused an incident between Mayumi and Masuo.   
  
It wasn’t really her fault, she had only bested him in a training match. He was, as expected, very good at sparring. Probably better than her, Sayuri thought, or at least his manner was more focused, as a shinobi should be. Sayuri found it harder to detach her emotions from a fight and was, according to Tobi, too easily distracted. Although part of that was his fault for making her laugh. However, the odds were in her favour that day. Or perhaps she just had more of a desire to prove herself.   
  
Reika had said that Masuo had deserved it, “The little rat,” but he had avoided talking to Mayumi for a week, simply because of who her friends were. When Sayuri apologised, Mayumi told her not to be silly, and whispered she was glad she was glad he had been taught a lesson. Still, Sayuri was embarrassed at the awkward situation she had caused, particularly so when Mayumi mentioned he had “run away,” when she caught him outside his house. They lived very close by and had been neighbours all their life. The least Sayuri could do was treasure the origami that Mayumi had made her and bring them safely home.   
  
A whirring sound in the air caused her to snap her eyes open. Sayuri looked to her side as he materialised in the room, then she turned to look up at the ceiling.   
  
Tobi had been off on some sort of extended mission since their last fight, when she had learned his name. On one of the rare occasions that he was home, Sayuri had asked hesitantly about the ‘her’ he had mentioned (perhaps Sayuri could help), to which he had snapped at her to “Stop asking so many questions.” She daren’t ask again.   
  
“You should be in bed. What are you doing up so late?”   
  
What did it matter to him? If he hadn’t come home at that moment he wouldn’t know and she could stay up as long as she liked. Which was still her intention, no matter if he was here or not.   
  
“Sayuri?”   
  
She left it a few seconds before she got up, crossed the room and picked up her hairbrush.   
  
“Young lady, I’m talking to you.”   
  
“Maybe you should stop asking questions,” She said, then proceeded to brush her hair.   
  
For a few moments there was only the sound of Sayuri’s brush running through the tangles of her long hair. She caught a glance at Tobi in the mirror who was seated on the end of her bed, looking out the window. Probably. She could never tell with his mask. Sayuri stilled, brush held out in her hand. She was being unfair.   
  
She resumed working through the lengths of her hair. A sudden difficult knot had her struggling. She ripped the brush through her hair and half her hair out with it, causing her to give out a yelp of pain. Sayuri looked at the brush and sighed. She was tired. She wanted to go to bed. But she wouldn’t give Tobi the satisfaction.   
  
But when he came to stand beside her and held out his hand, Sayuri relinquished the hairbrush to him.   
  
“I’m sorry,” she said, as he brushed through her hair, instantly relaxing her. “Did your mission go well?”   
  
“It did.” He didn’t elaborate.   
  
When he was finished with her hair, she sighed softly, and leaned back against him, closing her eyes. She didn’t protest when he told her once again to go to bed, reminding her that she had school tomorrow.   
  


—   
  
Sayuri had never seen a blue quite like it. She had imagined it would have been something like a very large lake, the colour of the sky. 

This was no lake. It stretched out for miles and miles, beyond the scope of her vision. And the colour was not like the sky. Nor was it like the grey of the lakes surrounding Ame. This was a beautiful azure blue, sparkling in the morning sun.   
  
The weight of a brand new headband rested against Sayuri’s forehead, under her fringe. Just under two years of being in the academy, she had graduated.   
  
She took a couple of steps forward to see the rolling waves closer when an arm stretched out in front of her, halting her movement.   
  
“Don’t get too close to the edge,” he said.   
  
Sayuri looked down to see she was just a short hop away from plummeting to her death down the edge of the sheer cliff face. She gasped and stepped back.   
  
There was a low chuckle beside her and her cheeks coloured. She looked over at him; their eyes met and she smiled.   
  
Uchiha Madara. The name meant nothing to her. But it did to to others. He was a legend from Konoha. Or so she had heard. It made sense though, how he seemed to have a wealth of knowledge, why he was hiding, his sharingan. She still shied away when it was activated, but she knew it was necessary. She needed to be strong. She didn’t need to read about him to know he was powerful though. She had witnessed glimpses of his true power when they sparred. He mostly held back though, and Sayuri dreamed of the day she would be able to fight against him properly. Still, out of all the people he could have taken on as an apprentice, he had chosen her.   
  
“I want to show you something.”   
  
She took his hand, and he led her along the cliff to a place where the beach below receded, and the waves crashed against the base of the cliff.   
  
“See that?” he gestured to a place where the waters swirled and were sucked into the oceans depths, like someone had pulled the plug, “That is, or was, Uszushiogakure, The Land of Whirpools.”   
  
Sayuri peered. “I don’t see any land.”   
  
“It’s gone. There was a war.”   
  
Sayuri’s smile faded. She, who had grown up in that tiny, secluded village, and had never seen a day of war in her life, tried to come up with an intelligent response.   
  
“What of the people? Did they…”   
  
“They fled, those that could. Scattered across the world, integrating themselves into other nations. Most of them are gone now though.Then there were your parents, who had you.”   
  
Sayuri whirled around to face him. “My parents? They were from here? I thought...they grew up in the village.” Her voice grew small as she said the last part, embarrassed at her ignorance.   
  
“Your mother was from the Uzumaki clan. Does that name mean anything to you?”   
  
Sayuri shook her head. “She never said.”   
  
He hummed. “She was probably trying to protect you.” A hand went to stroke her hair. “People were scared of the powers of the Uzumaki—that’s why so many were targeted.”   
  
Sayuri took in his words. Why did it all come to war? Why did so many people have to die? She remembered Konan’s words, about the Akatsuki and their goal for peace. She wondered if that could be a reality, with all the fighting that went on in the world.   
  
“Tobi-san, is there a way to stop these wars? To stop people from dying in this way. I wish we could put an end to this, all this fighting.”   
  
“There is.”   
  
She looked up at him. Tobi really had a solution? He truly was very clever and powerful.

  
“I’m going to create a world where no-one need to suffer again. It will be a world of dreams.”   
  
A world of dreams. He spoke with such conviction, as if he was sure the things he wanted would come to pass. Not like her silly fantasies of becoming a strong ninja just like him. She doubted that she could ever reach that level. Tobi was truly incredible. Or Madara. It didn’t matter. Tobi was just Tobi to her.   
  
“Sayuri-chan,” he lifted her chin up, “Will you follow me as I make my world? It won’t be easy. People will fight against us. Those...who do not want peace in their time.”   
  
“Yes, Tobi-san, I’ll do anything.” She meant it. She had realised her dream of becoming a shinobi, now it was her turn to help make his dreams come true.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for reading! As I said, I’ve already written up to chapter 23 so far, but I’d still love to hear your thoughts!  
The next chapter will start a new arc which introduces one of my favourite characters!


	9. Thieves and a farm

The streets moved past her in a blur, the warm breeze of the mid-summer air on her face. Sayuri knew the route like the back of her hand by now. It led her past the kindergarten, where tiny children clad in their plastic raincoats and matching yellow caps all held hands as they were led in a somewhat crooked line by their young civilian teacher. Then a sharp turn to the left—Sayuri anticipated the turns before she came to them, and adjusted her speed suitably—and she was running down a narrow alley, where the nearby residents’ bins were lined up against the wall, along with the mostly empty sake bottles that had been carelessly discarded.

When she got to the end of the alley, it was a case of infusing chakra in her soles, and then she was up and over the wall, landing nimbly on her feet on the other side. Then a right turn, and soon she was weaving through the retail district, where the shops that weren’t stacked on top of each other in the tall grey buildings were dotted around the square as market stalls, canvas roofs on top to keep out the rain. The textiles and knick-knack sellers were still setting up their stalls, but the fruit and vegetable stalls had already been in business for a couple of hours. She circled round the outside, so as not to get caught in the paths of people as they crossed from one stall to another. She hesitated as she always did, at the shop on the corner selling the colourful sweets, but after a second turned away and was speeding off again.

The high-rise buildings disappeared as she neared the edge of town, and the smell of sulfur from the onsen wafted into her face as she sped past. Then the gate came into view, and Sayuri skipped to a stop by the entrance.

She was greeted by her instructor, Aoki Tomoya.

“Good morning Sayuri-chan,” he said, which Sayuri returned in an equally cheery manner, then turned to the person standing a few steps away.

“Good morning Masuo-san,” she said, giving him her best smile.

“Good morning,” he returned civilly. At least he wasn’t accompanying it with a frown anymore.

She turned back to Tomoya, who had a pair of knitting needles in his hands and was working on the bottom of his scarf. It was long, very long, so much so that he had to wrap it around himself a few times to stop it from dragging on the floor. It was also multicoloured, but Sayuri couldn’t discern a sensible pattern from it. It was almost as if someone made it up as they went along, and kept adding colours to it, which is what Tomoya was doing right then. He would even sometimes get out the needles and a ball of coloured wool mid-training exercise or sparring session. Although exactly where the needles or ball went he was done with them, Sayuri had no idea.

When Masuo voiced his opinion speculating that the scarf must be cumbersome and drag their teacher down, especially when sodden in the rain—on this matter, Sayuri was inclined to agree—Tomoya dismissed the complaints with a casual,

“It’s a magic scarf. It’s waterproof, and made of anti-heavy wool.”

There were protests from the students about there being no such thing, but Tomoya was adamant and wouldn’t give another explanation.

“Is Ezume-kun…?” Sayuri referred to the missing member of their team

“He’s coming. Well, I think he’s coming. I can’t say for sure that he is coming, but there is a very high chance that he is. He knows he has a mission, so he will be coming, for the mission. Unless a piece of stone hits him in the head and he gets knocked out or something,” said Tomoya.

Sayuri blinked. Her teacher didn’t half say some nonsense sometimes. She then yawned and stretched, working out the run from her body.

“Oh there he is!” said Tomoya, prompting Sayuri to look up and see Ishita Ezume, the last member of their team coming towards them. His build was stockier than his teammates, and Sayuri secretly thought that his disposition was far nicer than someone else-who’s-name-she-would-not-mention-because-she-was-a-nice-girl-and-had-manners-unlike-so-and-so-over-there.

“Good morning Ezume-kun!” She said.

“Morning,” he replied, coming to a stop, “I haven’t kept you waiting, have I?”

“Don’t worry about it,” said Tomoya, putting away the needles and wool into his flak jacket, the scarf somehow magically unattached. There should have been a telltale bulge where the wool was, but the jacket lay flat. He then turned to Masuo and removed the backpack he was carrying from his shoulders.

“Hold this,” he said, and Masuo had to catch the bag as it almost dropped on to him. Tomoya opened it up and began rifling through the contents.

“Where’s yours?” Masuo asked Sayuri, looking over the bag at her.

“Oh, I didn’t bring one.”

Masuo frowned. “We’re going to be staying overnight.”

“I don’t need to, watch!” Sayuri stuck her hand up her sleeve and produced a tiny scroll.

“Your sealing, of course,” Masuo said, and rolled his eyes.

Sayuri unravelled the scroll, and summoned a mandarin orange from it, which she held out to Masuo. “Want one?” she smiled.

He hesitated before answering, “No.”

Sayuri’s face fell, but she put the smile back and turned to her other teammate.

“Do you want one Ezume-kun?”

He waved his hand. “I’m alright thanks, I just ate breakfast.”

“Oh. Okay then,” Sayuri said brightly. She was about to offer one to her sensei, when Tomoya suddenly let out an elated shout.

“Found it!” he announced, grabbing the mission scroll from the bag. He then tucked it into the pocket of his trousers, closed the bag, and swung it over his shoulder, to Masuo’s visible relief.

“Come on team, let’s go.”

In Amegakure missions were dealt out in the central office by a man named Shimamoto, and it was at this same office where they had to debrief after missions had been completed. Due to the tight security measures, departure from Amegakure had to be made at one controlled gate. Shinobi were instructed to bring their mission scroll, as well as their identity papers for checks.

The first time Sayuri had been out of the village she waited in trepidation for the bored looking guard to say that there had been a mistake, she wasn’t really meant to be a ninja, and she should be thrown out of the village. That didn’t happen, and now having gone through the procedure three times before, Sayuri quickly learned it was all a rather tedious affair, and she hopped about on her feet as the guard looked at all their papers. She felt that things seemed to go a lot quicker when you weren’t looking at them, so she turned to look over the village one last time.

She could see Pain’s tower, rising high above any other, and she briefly wondered if Tobi had already left by now. He seemed to be spending a lot of time in the Hidden Mist. Sayuri was glad he told her where he was going, but wondered why he would want to go there—it seemed a horrible place. She had begged him to take her with him on a mission, now that she was a proper ninja now. He had refused.

Her gaze travelled right, and landed on the rooftop where she often sparred with Mayumi. Sayuri had felt awful that her friend hadn’t been able to land a team with Masuo, and tried to apologise.

“It’s not your fault,” Mayumi had said, “Besides, you’ll look after him, won’t you?”

Sayuri had assured her friend that she would, but she didn’t think that Masuo needed looking after.

She turned around at the sound of Tomoya calling to say that the preparations were ready, and it was time to set off.

Although Amegakure was an industrial village, the lands surrounding it in Rain Country were a countryside full of fields and lakes interspersed with the occasional pocket of trees. This particular mission led them to a farm a few hours away from the village. The farmer had reported having problems with thieves in the area.

Their client, Mr Nishida, was waiting at the gate to the farm, as the team arrived in the late afternoon, the sky pale with a thin layer of cloud. He was a balding, portly-looking man, dressed in a plain blue yukata. Behind him stood a traditional-looking house, reminiscent of the ones found in Sayuri’s home village. Vegetable plots lay to the right of the house, extending about 3 metres across. Beyond that, a forest.

Tomoya bowed in greeting. “Nishida-san, I’m Aoki Tomoya and these are my subordinates, Ishita Ezume, Umeda Masuo, and Tachimae Sayuri. It’s nice to meet you.”

Sayuri and her teammates all bowed in unison. “Looking forward to working with you,” they chorused.

Nishida gave a slight bow. “Nishida Seiichi,” he said and opened the gate, letting everyone file in. “Come inside, I’ll show you around.”

He then led them towards the vegetable plots and stopped by the first of the plots where bundles of heart shaped leaves protruded out of the ground in rows.

“I grow sweet potato here,” Nishida explained, “also cabbages and tomatoes,” he said, gesturing to the plots beyond.

“How long has this been happening, Nishida san?” Tomoya asked, crouching down to look at the plants.

“Few weeks or so,” said Nishida, “I’ve laid traps and that but I can’t seem to get the buggers. They’re wrigglesome little things.” He then gestured to the forest that lay a few metres away from where they were standing. ”I reckon that’s where they’re coming from.”

“Well don’t you worry. That’s what we’re here for. We’ll sort out your little vegetable thief.”

The team were then shown to the inside of the farm house to eat and see where they would be sleeping that night. The house was in the traditional style, all tatami mats and sliding doors. There seemed to be a lot of empty rooms, Sayuri thought, as they were led through the house.

After a meal of a meat that Sayuri hadn’t tasted before, they rolled out the futons and rested a little while before they needed to go outside again in the late evening.

“We’re ready to go out. You don’t mind us setting some traps, do you?” Tomoya asked Nishida, who seemed to be getting himself ready for bed.

Nishida gave a dismissive wave of his hand. “Fine. Just so it’s sorted.”

When they were outside, Tomoya led them to look at the crops of sweet potatoes again. The three stood back as Tomoya crouched down on the ground, tapping at the soil and humming to himself. Sayuri again noticed the missing patches, but from what she could see in the dark, the plants surrounding the missing ones seemed undisturbed.

Her instructor then plucked a leaf off of one of the plants, brought it to his mouth and licked it. Sayuri wrinkled her nose. There was no way she was going to be licking plants.

“Okay!” exclaimed Tomoya, jumping up, “It’s not rabbits.”

“Well yes,” said Masuo, “I worked that out ages ago.”

Tomoya grinned. “And why is it not rabbits — or other animals Masuo-kun?”

“The plants look like they’ve been taken out of the ground, roots and all. And the ones next to them are undisturbed. Furthermore, it’s only these near the edge that have been taken. If it was some kind of animal, you would expect it to be messed up more,” Masuo explained.

“Good, very good,” said Tomoya, “And did anyone notice we were served rabbit for dinner today?”

Sayuri scrunched her face even more. So that’s what the weird meat was.

“Clearly Nishida has been lying when he says he thinks it’s some kind of animal pest,” Tomoya said, then dramatically threw the long end of his scarf over his shoulder and clapped his hands together. “Okay, we need to check the woods, look for a way to get in, any trails.”

Tomoya divided the tree line into four, and instructed them to work on a section each. 10 minutes in and Sayuri hadn’t any luck in finding an entry point. No one would be able to get through the thick undergrowth here, unless they wanted to be pricked to death by lots of stinging nettles and brambles.

There was a shout from Ezume.

“Hey, I think I found something!”

“What what what?!” Sayuri called back, as they all ran to him.

Ezume pulled back some long grass to reveal a small gap between the trees, stubs of branches where the smaller ones had been broken off.

“Right then,” said Tomoya, “Sayuri-chan, see if you can get through.”

Sayuri thought that someone else could have gone through, as the branches tugged at her hair, and left scratches in her clothing. But she would have to face more than a few scratches if she was going to survive as a shinobi. 

When she stepped into the woods, she stood there for a moment, breathing in the cool air. The moonlight came filtering through the trees, hitting spots of green in its pale glow. She could hear the chirp of nocturnal bugs, and in the distance, the soft call of a bird. Ame was home, but sometimes she missed the quiet of the countryside.

“Found anything?” Tomoya called.

Sayuri jumped reflexively. “Oh yes,” she said, looking ahead of her, “There’s a trail here. It’s narrow, but someone could get in… at least, I think so.”

She turned back, and Ezume held out his hand to help Sayuri though.

“Thank you,” she smiled, taking a hold of it and pulling herself out.

“What do we do now sensei?” Ezume asked.

“They won’t come before dark, so I suppose we just wait,” said Tomoya.

–––

Sayuri yawned. She had been hiding out in a tree for what must be a whole day by now. The trunk didn’t make a good pillow and she was sure her backside was numb.

“Ezume-kun,” she whispered across to her teammate who was in the tree to the right of her. “What time is it?”

“I don’t know,” he shrugged, “I don’t have a watch.”

“But don’t you think it’s been a very long time?”

“Err,” said Ezume, “Probably about half an hour since we’ve been here.”

“I think it’s been absolutely ages,” Sayuri complained. No way it had only been half an hour, how was she going to last the night?

With stiff joints and very keen to get to bed, probably.

“Don’t worry,” said Tomoya, who was in the tree diagonally in front and to the right of Sayuri, “We probably won’t have to wait much longer. We should be quiet though, keep on the alert.”

“Okay. Sorry sensei.”

They waited another whole two hours, by Sayuri’s estimation, and then eventually, there was a movement in the woods below.

She snapped herself out of her boredom-induced lethargy to watch the small figure creeping about in the shadows.

“Okay,” said Tomoya in a low voice, “We need to see what they do, and get them on the way back. We’ll wait until they’re two steps away from this point then confront them.”

Sayuri nodded, straightening herself up on the branch,“Yes sensei.”

She watched as the figure approached the edge of the woods then slipped through the gap in the trees. They then seemed to look left and right before darting off to the field of cabbages. It was hard to make out in the dark, but Sayuri could see them pick up and hide the vegetable under their cloak. They then went on to the tomato plants, and tore off a whole vine.

The figure then looked at the farmhouse before coming back round, approaching the tree line.

“Okay…” said Tomoya, “Now!”

They all leapt down, surrounding the figure.

It was a little boy. About six years old or so. He dropped the vine of tomatoes he had been holding in his fist. He then went to make a run for it, but was stopped by Ezume’s jutsu, the earth wrapping around the boy’s ankles to stop him.

“Please,” the boy said, shaking, “Don’t hurt me.”

Tomoya approached him and knelt down so they were eye level. “What’s your name?” He asked softly.

“Dai - Daisuke,” the boy replied.

“Daisuke, huh? That’s a nice name. I’m Tomoya. I’m a friend. Daisuke, if my friend Ezume lets you go, will you run off? We’re not here to hurt you.”

The boy nodded his head. Ezume released his jutsu and Sayuri waited for the boy to start running off again, but thankfully he didn’t.

“Why are you stealing from Nishida’s farm Daisuke? Are there problems at home?” asked Tomoya.

Daisuke shifted on his feet and looked at the ground. “I’m hungry...my sister…”

“You have a sister? Where is she? Is she close?”

“She’s not here. She’s at...at the hut.”

“Hut? Can you show us where this hut is?”

Daisuke hesitated.

“Look,” said Tomoya, picking up the tomatoes and giving it back to the boy, “You can have your tomatoes back, we won’t take them.”

Daisuke looked at the vegetables in his hand and then back at the team, grinning. “I’ll show you. But you need to promise not to send the bad men to us!”

Tomoya nodded. “Okay, we won’t send the bad men to you.”

The boy led them through the woods, winding a trail through the undergrowth. Sayuri was sure she would have gotten lost, and was thankful she wasn’t there alone. There was something eerie about feeling around in the dark, unsure if something was going to pop out of you. The boy seemed confident though, and before long they arrived at a small wooden hut, a shack almost.

The inside was barely furnished; an older boy and a younger girl sat around a low wooden table, playing a game of cards. Daisuke ran up to another girl, a teenager, tending to a pot which was hanging over the sunken hearth in the middle of the room, and handed her the stolen vegetables. She smiled as she took them from him but then caught sight of the newcomers and straightened up, expression stern. “Who are you?! What do you want?”

The outburst brought the attention of the children at the table who paused their card game to watch.

“We’re here to help,” said Tomoya.

“Why would you want to help us?” the girl said, looking at them in apprehension.

“Because there’s all you children, hungry by the looks of it, living in a measly little shack while the farmer over there is alone in a big house,” said Tomoya, while Sayuri unravelled one of the tiny scrolls she had hidden up her sleeves and started to hand out the mandarin oranges she had concealed. Masuo frowned at her and mouthed “What are you doing?”, but she ignored him.

The girl stiffened at this, but then she said, “So, he lives in a big house. Why should you care? It’s not like they give a damn about us in the countryside.” She took the vegetables, chopping them up on a board over the sink.

“But why don’t you just move away? If it’s so miserable out here,” Masuo asked. Sayuri frowned at his tone.

“Because the bad men stop us,” said Daisuke, who had sat down on top of his cloak.

“These ‘bad men’, who are they?” Tomoya asked.

“The Satsumaimo gang,” spoke up the teenage boy, “They stop us going across the Houchou bridge. That’s where we need to cross to get to Nishikawa. We can get help there.”

“Right. Err, who are these Satsumaimo gang?” Tomoya asked.

“They’re a group of people that have taken control of the bridge. Won’t let you pass unless you pay up. And we...we don’t have that kind of money. I tried to get around them, but...” He gestured to the bruise on his face, “They gave me this.”

“I said you were stupid for trying,” Irori said, but she was smiling as she said it. “Look, you can try and take on them if you want, but I didn’t ask you to.”

“Oh I’m sure a few thugs will be okay,” Tomoya grinned, “Who’s going to show us where they are?”

“I will,” said Daisuke, jumping up.

“That’s great” said Tomoya, “But not now, it’s a bit dark. We’ll come back tomorrow.”

—

“Are we sure we want to do this?” Masuo asked, as they made their way back to the farm. Tomoya had claimed that he had memorised the route back. Sayuri wasn’t prepared to get lost in the woods in the dark, so she hoped it was true.

“Yes, of course we do,” said Sayuri, “ We’re getting these kids to someplace safe, and we will be stopping them from stealing from the farm.”

“Wrong,” said Masuo, “Our mission is to stop the thieves. We can do that easily. I don’t see the point in jeopardising the mission by going out of our way for them.”

“But they need our help! Shouldn’t we be helping them, right Ezume-kun?” Sayuri looked to her other teammate for support.

“Err, well I guess…” Ezume replied.

Displeased that Ezume wasn’t more forthcoming with his support of her way of thinking, Sayuri looked to her instructor. “Tomoya-sensei, don’t you think it’s wrong that this gang are blocking their way out?”

“Masuo-san,” Tomoya said, “I understand where you’re coming from. But in this case, I say we need to at least confront this gang. There’s something that doesn’t sit quite right.”

There was a pause.

“Understood, sensei,” said Masuo finally.

Sayuri found it hard to sleep that night. It was likely they would end up in a fight tomorrow. Her first proper fight outside of training. She wondered if she might have to kill one of the Satsumaimo gang if things went bad. Wondered if she could. Any time she thought of the concept, her parents came to mind. Could she take a life so easily? From knowing the pain of what followed?

Sayuri sighed into the pillow. If only Tobi was here. He’d say the right thing. He’d know what to do.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My OC names are just a lot of puns.


	10. What’s your ninja way?

They ventured out to the Houchou bridge the next morning, Tomoya telling Nishida that they had found something in the woods last night, but wanted to check it out in the daylight. Sayuri was dubious that the excuse would hold, but Tomoya was rather nonchalant about the matter, and Nishida didn't seem to have noticed anything amiss.

"I still think this is a bad idea," Masuo complained as they headed through the trees, "What if this gang is too much for us?"

"Oh I'm sure you'll be able to take them down, Masuo-kun," said Sayuri. There was no reason for him to doubt his competence as a ninja, unlike her. She needed to train much more.

Masuo rolled his eyes. "You really have no idea do you?"

Sayuri pouted. What did he mean she had no idea? Was there something she had missed in training sessions with Tomoya-sensei? She had tried to pay attention, she really did. She looked to her teacher and Ezume for assistance.

"What I think Masuo is saying, is if on the off-chance we don't succeed in eliminating this gang, we would fail our mission, and cause problems back home," said Tomoya.

"We… we don't get punished for failing a mission, do we?!" Sayuri almost slipped off a branch in her sudden worry.

"Not punished as such…" Tomoya's tone grew serious, "But on paper, this mission is classified as a D rank. If we as shinobi from Amegakure can't even complete such a low-ranking mission, it will reflect poorly on the village, and questions will be asked about training and leadership, and long story short, it wouldn't be that good."

"So...the whole village will be in trouble? Sorry, I didn't know," she stopped, "Maybe we should go back…"

"Relax we can take on this gang, no problem. I mean, you got me! I'm awesome."

Sayuri smiled. They could do this. It would be fine.

Sayuri could count five men on the bridge, leaning against the railings, chatting idly. She had thought that she and her teammates would hide in wait for an attack, but Tomoya had prompted them to walk out in the open, and strolled along ahead himself in a nonchalant manner.

"Well hello there gentleman," said Tomoya brightly through the light rain shower, "What fine weather we are having today."

They looked up at this greeting. From what Sayuri could sense of their chakra, the men didn't seem to be much of a threat if they were shinobi – they wore no headband, slashed or otherwise – but they looked menacing all the same, their faces worn and hard.

"Oi, it costs 500 ryo to cross the bridge," said one, stepping forward, and drawing a knife out of his pocket, "pay up." He made a beckoning gesture with his hand.

"Nah, I'm fine thank you," said Tomoya and sauntered forward, leaving Sayuri and her teammates to follow cautiously behind him, "I'm just going to walk with my friends okay?"

"Hey now, don't try anything clever," said the man, stepping closer towards Tomoya, making a stabbing motion in the air with the knife.

Tomoya side stepped him.

"500 ryo? That seems a bit steep! Can't I get a group save? Buy one, get one half off? Kids go free? No?"

"Hey," said a second man, stepping in from Tomoya's left, "give us the money."

"Alright, let's see," said Tomoya, patting his pockets and taking out random items, "I've got an old receipt for toilet paper – there's a voucher for a 5 ryo off coupon at the bottom if anyone wants it, no? –, a bookmark, a bus ticket, which is a feat itself since there are no buses in Amegakure, funny how that–"

"Are you going to give us the money or not? If not, get lost!" The men were now all standing in front of the group, blocking them from progressing any further. Sayuri readied herself for the attack.

"Alright, keep your hair on! Aha! No, wait, that's monopoly money. I could have sworn… nope, definitely not that, not giving that away...You got me, all out of ryo. But you'll let us pass, won't you? Stop harassing people who just want to get on with their lives?"

"No money, no crossing," said the man who had first spoke, and lunged at Tomoya with his knife.

Tomoya dodged it and somehow tripped the man with his scarf, letting him fall face down on the ground.

There was a pause, when the men stood looking at the body of their friend, then a roar as they leapt into an attack.

One of them launched himself straight at Sayuri, hands closed in fists.

She must be strong. She couldn't hesitate. If she did, she couldn't call herself a shinobi.

Sayuri released a jet of water, hitting them in the stomach and knocking them to the ground. She then ducked away from the arm of another person, leaving them to Masuo, who used his clan's jutsu to send them to sleep.

She sensed the first man come up behind her, so she turned and thrust a kunai into his leg to incapacitate them, and a punch to his head to knock him out. He fell to the ground and Sayuri stood and stared at his unconscious body.

The image of her parents flashed against her mind.

She saw the glint of a blade in her periphery, but found herself frozen on the spot. She couldn't hurt anymore people. She couldn't do anything.

Then her would-be assailant was punched aside.

She was aware of someone standing in front of her, the figure out of focus.

A hand was clasped to her shoulder. Sayuri found herself flinch involuntarily.

"Hey, you alright?" Ezume.

She blinked and shook her head, bringing her teammate into focus. It was him who had delivered the punch, she realised.

"Yes, I'm fine, thank you. Sorry."

He shrugged. "No problem."

The fight was already over. To the left, Tomoya and Masuo were tying two of the gang to the railing, the bodies of the men in a sitting position, their heads slumped in sleep.

Tomoya made a final tug on the rope and stood up. "Masuo-kun, when you've finished that can you and Ezume get the others secure please? Just tie them against the railing, remember the knot I showed you, Ezume-kun?"

"Yeah."

"Thanks."

Sayuri bit her lip, feeling the kunai she had used to stab the man in her hand. She supposed they only needed two of them for the job, she'd probably muck it up. She moved the kunai to her other hand, and looked at where it had left white indents in her palm from where she had been gripping it so hard.

"You alright?"

Sayuri jumped for a second time. She hadn't seen her teacher come up to her.

"I'm fine."

There was a pause and Sayuri realised she hadn't meant to be quite so short with him.

"Sorry, I just…" She fiddled with the kunai, using the ring at the end to swing it around her middle finger. The flat of the blade caught her palm, leaving a wet stain of blood upon it.

"Do you want to take a break?"

Sayuri shook her head. Taking a break would mean she was weak. She was a shinobi now. She had to be strong.

"No thank you, it's okay." She took a deep breath and managed a smile.

"So, what do we do now?"

Tomoya's eyebrows raised for a second before his features relaxed.

"Well, after we've finished here, we'll have to run to the next village over and and send a message to the authorities, get someone to pick these people up. That's Nishikawa, about an hour away. Then, we'll get back to the hut and make sure everyone is okay. Sound alright?"

"Yeah," Sayuri nodded, "But shouldn't we go back to the farm first? Nishida might wonder where we've got to."

"Nah, he'll be fine."

When they entered the hut, Sayuri was surprised to see Nishida sitting at the wooden table, playing with spinning tops alongside the younger girl.

"Thought as much," said Tomoya, "You staged this didn't you, Nishida-san? Us spotting Daisuke stealing, then following him. Finding this place. The bridge was a bit of a gamble though, couldn't be quite sure we're up to the job."

Nishida gave an awkward laugh. "You got me. Sorry we had to be deceitful, we couldn't afford the higher level mission. Them on the bridge have been plaguing us a while. I need to get to Nishikawa to go to market, you see. Food we're okay on, but clothes and that, and the children start school soon. You've already met them, of course."

"Papa, they were awesome! I saw them beat them up!" said Daisuke, bounding up to the table with a big grin on his face.

Nishida gave him a questioning look. "You didn't tell me you watched."

"He's a liar, he came straight home after showing them the way," put in Irori from across the room.

Daisuke blew a raspberry at her, but was quickly scolded by his father.

Sayuri smiled at the scene, but her face fell when Masuo spoke up.

"You shouldn't have done that. Don't you know the problems you could have made?"

Nishida looked a little flustered. "I'm sorry young man, I didn't mean to cause you any trouble. We will give you the extra money if you need, just, please let me get the funds together first."

Tomoya waved his hands. "There's no need."

"Masuo, are you okay?" said Sayuri afterwards, "They didn't mean anything by it."

"What do you know? You weren't there when the war happened. You'll never understand."

Maybe she didn't. Maybe she would never be a proper shinobi of Amegakure.

__

It was quiet when she got in, yawning out "I'm home" to the dark hallway as she kicked her shoes off in the entryway, then bent down to line them up properly.

She smiled at the familiar chakra signature. Hide and seek again? She was hardly a child anymore. She was a proper shinobi now.

She found him, along with Pain, Konan, and Zetsu, in the meeting room, the yellow light seeping through the cracks of the closed door. Ever since Tobi had told her his plans to make a world of dreams, she had been hungering for details, wanting to hear of his grand plan but he didn't divulge, nor did he let her sit in on any of the meetings, saying she would find out when she was older. She felt that she already was old enough, why couldn't she know now? She figured that if she knew what they needed, then she could help out, and everyone would be happy.

So she put her ear to the crack in the door.

"Kakuzu is a problem. That's his third teammate he's got rid of in the span of six months." Konan's voice.

Sayuri stifled a yawn.

Who was Kakuzu, and why was he getting rid of teammates? He didn't sound very nice. If that was the case, then why was he in the organisation? Maybe he had bad teammates and they tried to do something mean.

"But his immortality is of great use to us." That was Tobi. No, Madara.

An immortal? She didn't know you could be an immortal, that was very useful actually. But wait, Tobi was immortal too! (A conclusion she had come to on the basis that he was very old and there was no other explanation for his advanced age, yet seemingly young condition. She still hadn't seen under his mask, no matter how much she asked, so she couldn't confirm if his face showed the usual signs of ageing, but he was definitely physically fit, and his hair was black, not grey, coming down in great swathes against his back. He could have dyed it though.) So, being immortal, would he get rid of her when she was partnered with him? Of course when she joined the Akatsuki she would be partnered with Tobi.

So wrapped up in her thoughts was Sayuri, that she missed part of the conversation, and all of a sudden the door swung open and she fell into Tobi who was looking down at her, mask tilted to the side.

She straightened up and took a couple of steps back, but was stopped by his grip on her wrist.

"Having fun are we?"

She opened her mouth to defend herself, this wasn't how it looked, when Pain spoke up.

"This is a classified meeting." And he looked at Tobi as if to say, "What are you going to do about it?"

"Yes, it would be a bother if this got into the wrong hands." His tone deep, authoritative, "You won't tell anyone will you Sayuri-chan?" He purred, and then his eye flashed red in an unspoken threat.

Sayuri swallowed. "No sir."

The grip was loosened and Sayuri went to make her way out of the door when Tobi's hands fell on her shoulders.

"Sit," he said, and guided her to a seat, pushing her down upon it, gently but firmly. She perched with her back straight, hands gripping the edge of the sofa.

Sayuri wondered why she had tried to listen in at all. It was all about boring missions, and who they should put forward for this job or that. Nothing to do with their world peace plans, as far as she could tell.

At one point, she caught Zetsu's eye, who grinned in that way of his, making her skin prickle. She couldn't quite hide the involuntary shudder, and at once she felt Tobi's fingers comb through the hair at the crown of her head.

The voices zoned out to a murmur, and her head dropped against Tobi, yawning.

She blinked, and then she felt the fabric of the sofa on her cheek. The room was horizontal.

"Was it that boring little one?"

She lifted her head up with a start, holding it steady as she felt the blood rushing to it. He stood leaning against the door, arms folded. The others were gone.

"Sorry, I – I fell asleep."

"I can see that."

"I'm ready now, did you want something? Are we going to train?" She asked, bouncing up, but she had stood up too quickly, and felt a wave of tiredness come over her as she fell back into the sofa.

"I think you're ready for bed. We'll train in the morning."

She tossed and turned that night, unable to fully suppress the small weight in her stomach that recalled the fight earlier that day. What would Tobi say? He'd be so disappointed.

Then again, he didn't have to know. If he asked, she could always leave out that part. All he would see is that she had completed an actual real life fight, and would be proud of her.

She groaned at the sudden sunlight coming into her room, and put her arm over her face to protect herself.

"Wakey-wakey Sayuri-chan," he sing-songed, and there was the sound of a spoon banging against a saucepan

"Noooo," she moaned, and lifted the cover over her head to protect herself from the noise, but he came close to her ear and banged the saucepan right by it, causing her to roll to get away, right off the bed and onto the floor.

He laughed at this. Sayuri smiled in spite of her loss of dignity. Then she picked herself up, duvet and all, and jumped back into bed.

"Hang on, that's not the way to go, it's wake-up time! Not sleep time."

She ignored him, and settled down to sleep.

"Come on Sayuri-chan!" There was the rattling of the pan and spoon. She grabbed a pillow to block out the noise.

After a few moments it cut out, and there was the feel of the end of her bed depressing under a weight. The pillow was taken away from her, but she didn't stop her plan of getting more shut-eye.

"Sayuri," He stroked her hair, "time to get up little one."

She shook her head against the sheets, and made a sound of refusal.

The hand was pulled back.

"Sayuri, I won't ask again," he said, tone at once changed. "Get up."

She quickly lifted her head, brushing the hair out of her face. "Sorry, I didn't mean to, I'm up."

"Get ready. You have twenty minutes."

__

"Concentrate! It's not a game."

She had missed all her hits so far, her reactions sluggish. Over and over again, she couldn't get it out of her mind. Why couldn't she do it? Why was she a failure as a shinobi? Why did it have to hurt?

Dimly, she was aware of him coming at her, but she didn't bother to defend herself.

He sighed, coming to a stop in front of her.

"What is it?"

"Nothing, we can keep training, I'm ready, sorry, just a bit sleepy."

"No. Tell me what's wrong." His hand was at her chin, forcing her to look right at him.

And then the tears fell.

"Hey, hey, don't cry. What are you so upset for little one?"

She shook her head, heaving great sobs against his chest. And then, even though she had vowed not to let him know, she found herself confessing everything that had transpired.

"I can't do it. I thought I would be able to, but I just can't do it. I don't like making people hurt."

He gently peeled her away from him, and held her by the shoulders.

"What did I say to you Sayuri? What did I say about the world I was going to create?"

"You said," she bit her lip, "you said no one would suffer."

"Exactly. And you want to help me, don't you?"

"Yes, of course," She nodded enthusiastically.

"So don't cry then, silly girl," a gloved thumb wiped away the wet on her face, "You just do as I say and it will all be fine."

"Okay." She hoped so.

\--

The next day, Tomoya had them perform a training exercise. He liked to hide random objects around a section of the village and have them go on a treasure hunt. Sayuri had to work closely with her teammates to retrieve them in the time limit, getting past the traps, false trails, and Tomoya's shadow clones. This time, the 'treasure' came in the form of brightly coloured plastic windmills.

Tomoya called a break for lunch, and they sat on the rooftop with their bento.

"You're quiet today Sayuri-chan," said Tomoya.

She smiled politely over her box of rice. "Sorry, I'm just thinking too much about things I guess."

Tomoya nodded. "Anything you want to talk about?"

"I don't know...I just...I wonder if I'm not a good shinobi. Last time on the mission," she sniffed as a single tear ran down her face, "I was so scared. I couldn't do anything."

"Sayuri, you're not a bad shinobi just because you're scared. On my first battle, I ran away. My superior was so mad."

Tomoya-sensei, with his relaxed, nothing-could-phase-him attitude, running away? She couldn't imagine it.

"Then...what did you do after that?"

"I kept on running. You could say I haven't stopped. Then I found a place. A people."

"You mean, Ame?"

"Yes, and no. But it's nice to have somewhere to call home for a while." He flicked a piece of sushi in the air, caught it in his mouth, and swallowed. "You did good on the mission. The people at the farm, think about how happy they were."

Sayuri did recall a sense of elation when seeing Nishida and his family and letting them know the Satsumaimo gang had been dealt with. But it was more than that. She had to do more. Tobi expected it.

"Sensei," she asked, heart thudding, "have you ever killed anyone?"

Tomoya chewed slowly before answering.

"I have." There was a faraway look in his eyes. Then he gave her a wry grin.

"Was it ever difficult?"

"Oh yes. But I think…," he paused, searching for the right word, "I think, Sayuri, what you need right now, is a nindo, a ninja way."

"A ninja way?" She had heard of it before, but hadn't thought much about it.

"A motto, a personal goal. Something that keeps you fighting. Masuo's is to protect Amegakure, and make life better for its citizens. Ezume, to prove himself as a shinobi, I think, even though he comes from a civilian family. Mine is, to get every possible type of wool into my scarf."

Sayuri smiled at that.

"And yours, Sayuri-chan?"

"Mine is…" It was to help Tobi with his dream, wasn't it? No, there was something else to it, something that had made her want to become a shinobi in the first place.

Tomoya mistook her silence.

"It's alright, you don't need to tell me, you can keep it to yourself if you want."

She remembered how she had admired the shinobi as a little girl, for the way they protected people, and fought for what was right. Her parents couldn't have been saved. But maybe, she could help more people, like those at the farm.

"It's…" she lifted her head. There was a brief respite in the rain, and the sun peeked through the grey clouds, reflecting off the puddles in the streets and on top of the buildings, and the droplets left on the pipes twinkled in the light.

Sayuri smiled. "It's to protect those who are precious to me."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> When I was young(er) and uploading my cringe-inducing wattpad-worthy efforts on another older site, I was lucky enough to bump into some more experienced writers who would offer me advice whilst being extremely kind about it. I guess I got a free pass because of my age, but anyway, I ended up keeping an online correspondence with one of the writers I met through fanfiction. We talked for about a year or so until we drifted apart and moved on to other things.
> 
> I don’t know why I’m bringing this up now, maybe I’m feeling sentimental? I kind of miss when I didn’t care so much what people thought about my work and just wrote the horrific stuff because I wanted to. And I try now to be that carefree but it’s hard when you put a lot of yourself into something. Not that my efforts deserve a wealth of praise, they’re exceedingly mediocre, but still... My fault for choosing such a niche topic I suppose. 😕


	11. Ready for chuunin

Chapter 11: Ready for chuunin  
  
One Wednesday night in March the following year, just after Ezume’s twelfth birthday (he was the eldest genin of the group, with Masuo’s birthday being in May, and Sayuri having only turned eleven the past November), Team Tomoya were sitting down to discuss the upcoming chuunin exams in Sunagakure. They were eating at Kisetsu Shoku, which had become a favourite haunt of theirs for post-mission pep talks, where they would discuss what happened, what they were looking forward to, and how their work could be improved. 

“Remember, I’m not going to be there for most of it,” said Tomoya, sitting on one side of the booth across from his students, his scarf occupying most of the seats.

“You’re not?” Sayuri blurted, a drop of ice cream falling from her spoon and back into the parfait, “But I thought we were all going to Suna together.”

“He means for the actual exam,” said Masuo, sitting on Sayuri’s right, closest to the wall.

“Oh yeah, I knew that,” she replied quickly, digging her spoon back into her dessert. Her teammates didn’t share her sweet tooth, but they were nice enough to wait for her as she enjoyed the delights Kisetsu Shoku had on offer. She thought of dessert as a treat, a well-done for completing a mission. If she thought she didn’t do that good, she didn’t have one. 

Tomoya smiled. “What I mean is you’ll need to be able to work together, without my help. Think about what I’ve told you in training, and use it to your strengths.”

There was a moment of silence, where Sayuri thought about how they would go about that over the last spoons of ice cream. She thought that she would just go along with what someone told her to. She had been getting better at dealing with enemies, reminding herself that in the long run she was helping people when they got into fights. She also didn’t want to be a burden to her team, or be a disappointment to anyone.

“What is the actual exam sensei?” asked Ezume, “Written, physical, and then tournament right?” 

Tomoya looked up from where he had been looking at the bill, wallet out on the table, “Yes, something like that. Suna are being very tight-lipped about the actual format, even though I did send the Kazekage a batch of my best homemade matcha macarons.”

—

Although they wouldn’t be leaving until the Saturday, Sayuri decided to pack early, and spent the next morning organising what she needed into a standard-issue backpack. Her sealing jutsu wasn’t the most convenient to carry everything on a long trip, as although she could summon small objects such as kunai and shuriken rapidly in battles, it still took her some time to extract larger items.

After lunch, Tobi called her to taijutsu training. It was easily her weakest area, as she wasn’t physically strong, and preferred to use her speed to dart around enemies, attacking with her water jutsu from a long distance. Their sparring sessions had become more ferocious lately, with Sayuri having to work harder to even get a hit against him. She didn’t complain though, eager for him to tell her if she did well, and how she could be better. These days, however, Tobi would rarely stay for long after they were finished.

This time, Sayuri collapsed to the floor, exhausted. She knew she would come up with bruises, even now feeling one form where his foot had connected with her side.

Tobi’s sharingan activated and she expected him to swirl away, but all he did was look at her for a few seconds, then it shut off.

He let out a sigh.

”Is there something wrong?” She moved to stand up. Did he want to spar again? Had she not been trying hard enough?

“It’s nothing. You’re still too young.” 

She bit her lip. “What do you mean?”

“Sayuri-chan is so little that she needs to get stronger first okay! Come on, let’s go get some food! Tobi is so hungry!” He grabbed her hand, urging her with him. Sayuri didn’t move. She had hardly seen him eat.

“Let’s go get some strawberries!” He tugged on her hand again, “Tobi found some and picked them for Sayuri-chan.”  
She stumbled forward a couple of steps but then stood her ground, and wrenched her hand away from his. "Why am I not old enough?"  
"Because Sayuri-chan isn't! Come on, you need to eat up, Sayuri is having her chuunin exams the day after tomorrow!" He reached for her hand again but she stepped away.  
"But what do you mean I am not old enough? I am already 11. Is it something to do with Akatsuki?”  
"Sayuri-chan shouldn't be worrying about that, it's all grown-up stuff. Tobi can deal with it, Sayuri doesn't need to know, she should focus on her training." His voice was still light, but there was an undercurrent to his tone, telling her 'don't'.  
Still she pressed it further. "But why? Why can't I know now? It's not fair. I want to help and you won't let me."  
The facade was dropped.  
"You didn't seem that interested last time I let you in."  
"That's because it was all about boring missions! I want to know about the real work you're doing."  
“That is the real work. Now come on, Sayuri,” he said, pulling her forward.

She dug her heels into the ground. “No.”

The mask looked back at her, “What did you say?”

“I said no,” she pouted. Why wasn’t she allowed to help? It wasn’t fair.

There was a pause. Then he dropped her hand. 

“Fine then. See if I care.” He disappeared into his other dimension.

She stomped to the kitchen. She didn’t need him anyway. She was too tired to cook, so just prepared some pot ramen, tapping her foot against the floor as she waited for the water to boil.

It was then that Pain entered the kitchen, and she saw him opening up a cupboard and retrieve a mug, then prepare some coffee using the pot of granules left out on the counter.

“Can you stop tapping your foot like that.”

Sayuri pouted but stopped.

He raised an eyebrow at her, and she smiled to herself at the change in facial expression. So he did do something other than look stern all the time. There was a silence while they both waited, staring at the kettle.

Then a rustle in the air and she saw Tobi come in, prepare his own coffee cup, and lean against the counter top.

There was the telltale ‘click’.

Pain took it first, and left, then Tobi, before Sayuri could have a chance to snatch it up. Sayuri watched as he poured the water ever so slowly into his mug.

When he finally relinquished the kettle to her, it let out a measly trickle into the plastic ramen carton. She looked at the kettle, then back at him, idly stirring his coffee with a spoon. She lifted the kettle above her head, ready to throw it at him.

“Don’t.”

It was taken away with ease, and set back into the holder. She went to refill it, but he put his arm across to stop her.

It was then she started to cry. “Please...I’m hungry, I want to eat.”

He put his arms around her and held her close, his voice soft. “We are eating. Just not here.”

—

She stared into the inky blackness. The air cool and crisp. There was a light breeze, coming in off the sea, and the gentle lull of the waves.

In her hands, a takeaway container of shrimp fried rice, and the promised strawberries lay in a punnet by her feet. 

He tended to her wounds as she ate, sitting behind her and putting a balm on the bruises.

“I’m sorry Sayuri, I just want to protect you. These are grown-up things, you know that right?”

“Yeah…,” she chewed on a bit of shrimp, “But I don’t understand why you can’t tell me just a little bit.”

“It’s all very complicated little one. But I’ll tell you one thing.”

“What, what?” She turned around to face him.

“We’re going to need good, strong shinobi, so you do well on your chuunin exams okay?”

Sayuri looked back down at her meal, “Tobi-san, what happens if I don’t pass?”

There was a pause, and she pushed her food around with her chopsticks waiting for his response.

“Then you don’t pass. But I know you won’t fail.”

Sayuri felt herself break into a smile. “Do you remember your chuunin exams?” She tilted her head to the side, “Did you have chuunin exams back then?”

“I passed first time. And so will you. Now eat.” He tapped the side of the takeaway container. 

She did so for a few bites then,

“Tobi, aren’t you hungry?” She offered him a piece of shrimp with her chopsticks. It fell on to the sand and she looked at it for a second, open-mouthed.

“I’m fine.”

“If I pass the chuunin exams can I see under your mask?”

“No.”

“Please please please please please,” she begged, twisting her body so she was lying on her back. She then lifted her arm up to peel at the edge of the mask.

He took her hand and gently pushed her arm away. “Sayuri, stop it.” A strawberry was placed at her lips. “Eat.”

She bit down into the fruit, and he took his hand away, then she held it by the stalk as she sat up to finish it, the sweetness pooling in her mouth and running down her throat.

“Tobi doesn’t want Sayuri looking, because Sayuri-chan might not like what she sees. Tobi is very nervous.”

“I’m not,” she replied, and started on her second strawberry.

Then, a rumbling of the earth caught her attention and she looked over to her left to see Zetsu appear out of the ground, about ten metres away. Tobi instructed Sayuri to wait while he talked with him.

She quietly ate three more strawberries, looking over at the two who seemed to be deep in conversation. A few minutes passed and they were still talking, (Tobi really didn't mean for her to wait in that single spot did he?) so she stood up, punnet of strawberries in her hand, and ventured closer to the sea. What had been the gentle sigh of the waves was louder now, a steady rhythm as they lapped against the shore. The wind was fresher here too, whipping at her ponytail and tugging on her clothes. She could see something of the line between the beach and the water as it stroked the bottom of her sandals. But into the distance, nothing. Just the dark.

Sayuri took one step forward, then shrieked, bringing her foot back out again and shaking it off. It had been a lot colder than she anticipated. Then she remembered her chakra control, (The sea was just a big lake right?) and focused it to her feet.

It wasn’t like a lake at all. It was hard to account for the movement of the water, and the third time she fell, the water coming up to her shins, she took her sandals off and threw them back onto the beach.

Then, barefoot, she navigated her way along, keeping close to the beach, in fear of falling in too far, and not being able to get out again. Tobi wouldn’t be happy if he had to come and rescue her. No, she wouldn’t need rescuing by him. So she stepped along, one foot in front of the other, trying to judge the roll of the waves and adjusting her chakra to accommodate. 

“Sayuri.”

She looked up. He was done talking already? “What are you doing?”

"Walking." Then a wave broke her chakra control and she grew shorter by a few inches.

"Hn. Come out of there, we need to go home."

She did as she was told, walking the few metres towards him, the water lapping at her ankles. When she emerged from the sea, treading softly on the wet sand, he was looking down at her bare feet.

"Sayuri, where are your shoes?"

"They're…" She turned round to gesture.

It was dark.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Start of a new arc.
> 
> You can probably tell I’m not an action writer so fight scenes will be rather limited. Which is why I’m writing a story about a ninja in a world full of ninjas.


	12. Begin phase 1

Sayuri had ventured into the Land of Wind before, on a mission where Team Tomoya had to recover some poor trader’s stolen goods from mercenaries. Their targets had made it across the border, but they hadn’t gotten far before they were apprehended. Sayuri knew that Sunagakure’s home country stretched far beyond the border where Rain Country’s vegetation encroached upon the desert sands, but not to this extent. It would take them three days to reach the host village of the chuunin exams and Sayuri hadn’t quite imagined how vast the arid landscape would be.

And so incredibly dull.

The plants became fewer and far between, until it was soon a great expanse of beige, the flecks of sand twinkling in the light of a buttery yellow sun, hanging in a cloudless blue sky. At the beach, it would have been quite pleasant, but here there was no cool breeze coming off the sea, no saltwater, no gulls circling overhead. What you did get were snakes and scorpions—nasty, irksome creatures that would keep you on your toes, and sometimes off your toes, as you jumped to avoid them, although at least the encounters broke up the monotony of the journey.

“You know, you’d think they’d have made it a bit more hospitable, since we’re technically guests and all,” remarked Reika. She had removed her sandals as soon as the party had stopped in the evening, jumped up onto a rock and gave the shoes a vigorous shake, complaining bitterly about sand between her toes. Sayuri, sat cross-legged beside Reika, taking a few sips of precious water from a bottle, was grateful for the company—it had been a nice surprise that both her friends Reika’s and Mayumi’s teams were participating in the exams. How Sayuri hadn’t known this before was a wonder, but no matter, they were here now, all together. It also meant she had someone new to bombard with her questions about what they thought the exams would be like, and furthermore, what would Suna be like, and had they ever been there before. (She had already explored these avenues within her own team, but her genin teammates weren’t much help, and Tomoya’s answers were suitably bizaare that she couldn’t quite tell if he was making things up like usual—he had been going on about some kind of dream with an island and a bear that morning.). Her victim this time was Shigure, a teammate of Mayumi’s. Although he had no new information for Sayuri concerning the exams and host village, he didn’t tell her to go away, and proudly talked about his collection of umbrellas he used for his own signature jutsu.

Reika’s sensei, Naoki, twin brother of their academy teacher, Naoko, responded to his student’s comments about Sunagakure’s apparent lack of hospitality.

“They don’t control the environment in the Land of Wind, you know. What do you expect, a palanquin like a daimyo?” 

“Palanquin would suit me fine just now,” Reika muttered, picking a grain of sand off her shoe and flicking it away.

“It’s that so you don’t have to worry about snakes,” piped up Reika’s teammate, Taigen, “It would be shame to miss seeing you scream again, like aiiieee!” Earlier that day he had slipped a toy snake down Reika’s back as a prank, saying “It’s Orochimaru come to eat you up!” Sayuri bit her lip at the mention of Orochimaru, she was sure that she had heard the name before, in relation to the Akatsuki, but it must have been someone else. Apparently this Orochimaru had caused a lot of people to go missing, and Tobi wouldn’t allow someone like that into the organisation, she was sure of it.

“Don’t look so glum Sayuri-chan,” Tomoya-sensei said cheerily, “Orochimaru isn’t really going to come eat you. It’s not like he can just put on a disguise and sneak into the chuunin exams unnoticed. That would be silly.”

“Oh, no I was just thinking of something else. It’s okay.”

Naturally, the girls all shared a tent together. The day had been so oppressively hot, that the cool of the evening came in sharp relief, but the weather took a turn for the worse in the night. The wind had swelled up into a ferocious gale, buffeting at the canvas. Sayuri hoped that the ghost of the desert wouldn’t come to attack them. Shigure had told her about the tale of the queen who had condemned a man by having his head removed from its body and buried in two different places, so that he wouldn’t be able to go the afterlife, and would spend all eternity searching for his head. It was said the howling wind were the the screams of the man calling out for his body to come find him. Sayuri wasn’t sure if there was a ghost, but just then, the wind made a peculiar noise and she wiggled herself further into the sleeping bag.

They arrived at Sunagakure on the evening of the third day. By then, Sayuri was definitely feeling the weight of the bag on her back. She had complained at Tobi, wondering why he couldn’t just use his kamui to send her luggage to her once she had arrived. 

“I’m not your delivery service,” he had replied.  
Although tired, Sayuri wasn't going to miss the chance to explore a new place, so after she had checked into her room, she rushed outside to meet with her friends.   
“Why do all the streets look the same,” complained Reika, as they stopped in the middle of the road, “Look, brown building, next to another brown building. Who designs these places? How is anyone meant to find their way around?” Sayuri had managed to convince her girl friends to help her look for some orange flavoured shaved ice, a Sunagakure speciality. She figured she was allowed a treat after trekking so far.

“Well, it’s just the same back home,” smiled Mayumi, “You know, all grey, to blend in with the rain.”

“Our streets look completely different,” Reika protested, “It’s very easy to know your way around once you’re used to it.”

Sayuri smiled at that, and just then Mayumi grabbed her hand.

“Let’s go here,” she announced, abruptly pulling Sayuri down one of the narrow side streets, leaving Reika to look about and rush after them with a “Hey, wait up!”

When they were safely round the corner, Mayumi spoke in a low voice, “Some woman is looking at you Sayuri-chan.”

Sayuri turned her head to see who Mayumi was talking about, and met eyes with a blonde haired woman standing across the street. She looked vaguely familiar, but then someone crossed in front of the entrance to the alleyway, and by the time they moved, the woman was gone.

“I’m sure she was just curious cause we’re not wearing Sunagakure headbands,” said Sayuri, “lots of people have been looking at us.” It was hard not to notice the different groups of shinobi they had passed as they had made their way through the streets, denoted by the mark on their forehead protectors. A lot of them would look at Sayuri and her friends as they went by, as if sizing them up. Although she had initially smiled at them, the stoic faces and glares she had received in return eventually had her averting her gaze.

Mayumi shook her head. “No, it was different, like they were really looking.”

“Great, now they’re spying on us. It’s like they don’t trust us,” Reika scowled.

“I trust you Reika-chan.”

“Sayuri, you’d trust anyone.”

The corners of Sayuri's mouth turned down. She didn’t know how to respond to that.

—

There was to be no written test. Instead, as it was explained by the exam proctor, who introduced himself as Baki, the first part of the chuunin exams was for the participating teams to get themselves through a sort of desert maze, collecting gemstones along the way. Each team was given one gemstone out of three colours, green, blue and red, and they would have to collect two more to present at the centre of the maze, all within the time limit of three days.

The first battle that Team Tomoya had encountered was about half an hour in.

The opposing shinobi were from Sunagakure, and followed the standard format of two males and one female, all looking to be a few years older than Sayuri’s team. 

“What are Ame doing, sending little twerps like you out? Is the civil war that bad there are no proper shinobi left? Guess it can’t be helped with a second rate village like yours,” one of them taunted.

Team Tomoya didn’t rise to the bait. Although Sayuri wanted to be nice to everyone as far as possible, she guessed this wasn’t a trip for making friends, and as a kunoichi of Amegakure, she wasn’t going to let comments like that slide.

So she quickly launched a water bullet jutsu at one, sending a stream of water towards him with enough force to knock him down. He started to get up again, so not wasting any time, Sayuri weaved signs to manipulate the rapidly disappearing water. She could have drawn more, but creating water from your own chakra took more energy than using your own, which was great news for Sayuri when the chuunin exams were set in a nice, dry, hot country. 

But then she was hit by a strong wind attack thrown by the Suna kunoichi. She was almost blown away by it, but Ezume, who had used his earth jutsu to sink his feet into the ground, grabbed Sayuri’s hand to keep her steady.

“Huh, seems like that didn’t do anything to you,” said the enemy, and her hand went to her weapons pouch, but then a dazed expression came over her face and she collapsed. 

Masuo, who had already worked with Ezume to defeat the third Suna genin gave a nod behind the toppled kunoichi. The Umeda clan employed a range of exemplary mind techniques. Masuo had confessed once that they were distantly related to Konoha’s Yamanaka clan, but of course his clan did things with much more finesse. This was one of his clan’s hidden jutsu. With what looked like just one touch, the caster could send an image of sleep into their minds, thus rendering them unconscious. 

There was still the person that Sayuri had originally attacked to be dealt with however, so once again she expelled water from her mouth and this time, he didn’t get up again.

“Ezume or I could have dealt with that. We need to conserve chakra,” Masuo admonished.

Sayuri frowned. “I know that.”

It had been hours since that battle, and so far, apart from the occasional trap and encounter with spiders, very large spiders, they had encountered no-one. Not a soul.  
  
“When do you think we’ll get to the centre?” Sayuri asked.

“I don’t know, when we get there, it’s only been about three hours,” Ezume replied.

“Three hours?! It must have been seven already!”

Ezume shook his head, grinning. “How do you still have such an appalling sense of time, anyway?”

Sayuri frowned. Her sense of time was just fine, thank you very much.

“What matter is it if we’re close to the middle or not?” said Masuo, “We still need to collect another gemstone. Sayuri, can you sense anyone?”

Sayuri felt for chakra signatures. “Er yes, there is a team, 11 o’clock, about three hundred metres ahead.” 

Masuo and Ezume nodded and they followed in that direction. “Wait! They've just disappeared.”

“What? You’re obviously not doing it right. I’ll sense them then.” Although Masuo wasn’t a sensor ninja in the traditional sense, he was able to use his clan’s jutsu to detect the presence of a nearby consciousness, to a certain extent. “Nothing.”

“See, they’ve disappeared haven’t they, I wonder where…” Sayuri trailed off when she saw that they had come upon a set of doorways, each leading into a small room, with a numbered sign: 1, 2, 3, placed above the entrances.

Above that, a question etched into the wall of the maze.

「You have come as three to this part of the maze, but only two will be allowed on their way. Candidate to pass this test, you must decide, who shall live and who shall die. Be careful for your choice must be the same, as that of your comrades, or be dismayed.」

Sayuri stared. “I don’t get it.”

“It’s obvious isn’t it,” said Masuo, “Only two of us can go past. We have to decide who is going to withdraw.”

“What?! That’s not fair! Don’t you need everyone to get to the end?”

Ezume frowned. “I guess not. Let’s try and solve it.”

And so they each went into one of the rooms, Ezume into number 1 , Masuo into 2, and, Sayuri into number 3, and as soon as she was inside, a hidden door slid shut behind her. In front of her were three buttons, each labelled by number, and a sand timer that had started as soon as she entered, and was rapidly running out.

“What do we do?” she asked, “We need to pick quickly or we’re trapped!”

“Just be quiet, I’m trying to think,” snapped Masuo, who had gone into number 1, “Whichever one of us is weakest—”

“What’s that supposed to mean? I’m not saying either of you!” 

About half the sand had fallen to the bottom of the hourglass.

“Then pick yourself!”

“Maybe I will.”

“Will you two be quiet!” Ezume shouted, “It’s obviously some sort of trap. I say we don’t pick anyone.”

“But it clearly said that only two could go past,” Masuo countered.

“Yes, but they also said that all three of us would need to finish. It’s a trick, trust me.”

There was about a quarter inch of sand left.

“Are you sure about this Ezume-kun? What if it’s wrong?”

“I’m sure. Trust me.”

The last drop of sand fell through the timer.

A pause.

Then the whole wall with the buttons and timer slid down, revealing a path in front. Sayuri stepped out. It was the right answer after all. But wait, where were Ezume and Masuo?

She couldn’t sense them. Strange, maybe the walls were blocking her or something. She took a tentative step forward. Perhaps they had gone another way and she would meet up with them soon. 

“Ezume-kun? Masuo-kun?!”

No reply.

Suddenly the ground spiralled beneath her, and she found herself sinking down into the sand. Try as she might, there was nothing she could do to get herself free. 

“Ezume! Masuo! Are you there?!” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I had some notes all about how dumb Uchiha are. Which I still stand by. Obito’s whole character arc bruh, he be clowning just cause some bich dies. And what’s he doing the whole time between now and shippuden? Drinking pina coladas? And the whole kiri thing? I don’t know I have tried to incorporate it into the fic but I think in later chapters I’ll honestly forget. I do not know where Kishimoto was going with that. Answers on a postcard please.


	13. Doubts and defeat

Sayuri was alone in a maze, somewhere in the west of Sunagakure, and slowly sinking into the ground. The sand had reached mid way up her calves, and she could feel its weight on her legs. She tried to pull them up, but try as she might, they wouldn’t shift. She looked around frantically for something she could use to pull herself out.

There was nothing. Just the bare walls of the maze. 

She tried again to feel for her teammates. But she couldn’t sense them. Couldn’t sense anyone in fact, and she was beginning to get a headache.

The sand had reached her knees. She had perhaps, about five minutes left. Ten? One?

Sayuri attached a kunai to a length of rope and threw it at the wall, where it embedded itself into the surface. She then gave it an experimental tug, injecting some of her chakra into the pull. The kunai seemed to hold.

Grasping the rope with two hands, Sayuri tried to pull herself up out of the sinking sand. She hardly moved. No, she moved downwards. The sand was at her hips now. Sayuri flexed her hands, her palms sweaty, and gripped tighter onto the rope. She pulled again, harder this time, and could feel the fibres rub against her skin.

She thought that the pressure of the sand on her legs was a little lighter. Or maybe they had just gone numb.The sand was still at her hips.

She gave another tug, and the kunai was wrenched out of the wall and clattered to the floor.

Stupid, stupid idea. 

The sand had reached halfway up her torso.

Don’t panic. She could get herself out. She was a shinobi of Amegakure. She was strong. 

She didn’t want to die. 

Sayuri tried to kick her legs, moving her body about. She sunk further in; the sand had reached her shoulders.

She wouldn’t cry. She was a shinobi, she was strong.

She blinked.

She was still in the room. There was no sinking sand. 

Just a giant hole in the wall where the buttons and sand timer had been, and Ezume’s grinning face in front of it. 

“Wha—?”

“Genjutsu,” came Masuo’s voice beside her. He had been the one to channel his chakra into her, and dispel it. Sayuri was able to deal with genjutsu now herself, (although Obito’s sharingan was still nigh impenetrable), so she was dismayed to hear that she had been fooled by it this time.

This time, she had been so worked up about the little puzzle, and happy to have got the answer right, that she hadn’t even thought that there would be another trap at the end.

Sayuri sighed. She had been looking forward to coming home with her newly promoted chuunin status and showing off to Tobi.

“Well done,” he would say, “Now you can join me in Akatsuki and we can do lots of fun missions together.”

Of course, none of that could happen now. She had made a mistake, again.

“What’s the matter?”

It took Sayuri a moment to register Masuo had spoken to her.

“Oh, nothing, just, I want to be out of this maze already.”

“Like I’m enjoying it, let’s find the other stone.”

They set off again at a run, down a tunnel which emerged into an open path of the maze, twisting this way and that. It went on and on and on. Where was the centre? Surely they would have reached it by now. Sayuri refrained from voicing her concerns though. Her teammates were cleverer than her, and they weren’t saying anything. But Ezume voiced her thoughts soon afterwards.

“You sure this is right? Sayuri-kun, check if anyone is nearby.”

She nodded, feeling for chakra. There was the familiarness of her teammates beside her. She had been with them for long enough she thought now that she could easily distinguish them in a crowd. And then, the faint presence of unfamiliar chakra, coming from, coming from somewhere. Other to the left, she thought. No, about 30 degrees to the right. No, it was two different groups. Three different groups. Some different groups. Her head hurt.

Masuo had grown impatient. “Well?”

“I don’t know, there’s people, but um, they’re, I’m not sure where they are.”

There was a hint of annoyance in Masuo’s tone. “You’re not sure where they are.” 

“I don’t know, it’s hard to tell, there’s too many, there’s too—”

Masuo huffed in frustration. “We’ll just follow on the path a while shall we?”

They came to a sort of circular room, with entryways leading from all directions, and a great pillar in the middle, surrounded by a body of water.

“That’s the end,” said Ezume, “That’s where we’re meant to go when we’re done.”

“Oh good,” said Sayuri brightly, “We’re almost done then.”

  
“No, we’re not almost done, we’ve still got one more stone to get or have you forgotten?”

“I know that!” Sayuri snapped, then bit her lip, “Sorry Masuo, I”m just a bit thirsty,” she said, suddenly feeling parched. She was used to the muginess of Rain, and the perpetual drizzle keeping the air cool.

The trouble was, such a body of water would be attractive to other teams as well, and it would be hard to not get into a fight. However, Team Tomoya needed to quench their first.

“We’ll go in and go out,” said Ezume, “We won’t talk to anyone and hopefully everyone will ignore us.”

Sayuri savoured the refreshing coolness of the water against her lips. It would be even better if they had a big lake for her to swim in or something. She had barely sealed away her bottle, when a barrage of shuriken came her way. She barely dodged them, and jumped backwards, looking for the assailants. 

Kiri-nin. She remembered Tomoya-sensei telling her that it was highly unlikely Kirigakure would be participating in the chuunin exams. Yet here they were. They came towards her, the three of them wearing cloth masks, but then they dropped to the ground, unconscious. 

On closer inspection of the bodies, she could see the thin strands of wire wrapped around them and senbon piercing the skin.

“Masuo-kun, when did you…?”

He set about removing the senbon from the bodies. “When you were busy having a nice little rest, I set it up. I couldn’t do the jutsu over the whole area, in case it got you too, so I just used the senbon and then just let my jutsu flow down the wire. It’s simple really, even you could do it.”

“Do what?”

“I’m just saying…”

“Okay, that’s nice guys, do they have any stones?” Ezume started checking through the unconscious’ shinobi’s pockets. Sayuri started doing the same, but they only unearthed a blue one, and it was green that they wanted. 

Sayuri furrowed her brow, and took in a deep breath. There was a chakra signature she was very familiar with. 

“Mayumi.”

  
—  
  
The chakra trail led them to an open plain, the late afternoon sun bathing the lands in an orange glow. Team Tomoya had quickly taken cover behind some rocks to watch the battle unfold. They were only going to stay for a moment, just to see how Mayumi’s team were getting on, possibly see if on the off-chance they had some spare green stones lying around.

“Mayumi can look after herself, she doesn’t need us interfering,” Masuo had said.

Sayuri agreed. “And Shigure and Tosai.” 

“Them too.”

Tosai was down, his leg injured in some way, leaving Mayumi and Shigure to fend off the attacks of six Konoha genin. Mayumi had created a swarm of paper birds, and for a moment Sayuri thought that the Konoha shinobi would be overcome, as the tiny origami birds encompassed the opponents, but it seemed to have little effect, leaving only a few scratches.

Shinobi didn’t rush into things. They observed, and waited for the opportune moment.

Sayuri jumped over the rocks, and leapt into battle.

The things Sayuri had heard about Konohagakure weren’t often favourable. Reika had long stopped talking about her incident as a child at any given moment—her escapades as a genin had eclipsed this in dramatic tension, and for Reika, every other mission was a near-death experience. Sayuri didn’t know how her friend was coping after all these narrow escapes.

“I was grievously wounded and felt my life force draining away. But I, Reika, would not be defeated. Although it gave me great pain, I managed to overcome my adversary.”

“Oh my gosh, that must have been really scary!”

Masuo had given Sayuri an incredulous look. “Really?”

“What? Reika could have almost died.”

“It was the cat. The cat bit her,” supplied Taigen.

“Oh.”

However, when Reika did get onto the topic of residents of the Land of Fire, she   
wouldn’t hesitate in making snide remarks about them, they were after all, the shinobi that had caused all the strife for Ame. Them, and all the other great countries that had come traipsing through the Land of Rain.

No-one outright contradicted Reika’s comments, and Sayuri had asked Mayumi about it later on the quiet. Surely they weren’t all bad? There must have been some good people from Konoha.

“Oh I’m sure there are,” Mayumi said, “It’s not like there aren’t bad people here as well.”

“Like who?”

“Oh, I don’t know. Just people. You know.”

Sayuri didn’t know. Everyone was nice in Amegakure.

Tobi’s reaction had been severe, and oddly specific.

“They are weak, and foolish, and don’t keep their promises.”

“But that’s not everyone.They can’t all be like that.”

“Have you ever been to Konoha?”

“No, but—”

“Exactly.”

Tobi was right. She didn’t know anything. But then she remembered that they had kicked Madara out of the village. Of course. She was so stu—

Oh right, Tobi had told her not to use that word for herself anymore.

“Sayuri listen to me,” he had said, when she had come home crying one day because she didn’t understand some of the theory at the academy, and lamented that her teachers at her old school were right all along: she was bad girl, and wouldn’t amount to anything, “Whatever your teachers told you is wrong, you’re not stupid.”

She wasn’t stupid, but she had maybe been insensitive when asking Tobi questions about Konoha. If only she could understand a bit more about it.

“What happened?”

His demeanor had gone back to being soft and gentle. “Hmm? What happened with what little one?”

“When you, er, when you did,” Sayuri struggled to find the right word, “When you left Konoha.”

“That’s none of your business,” he had snapped. And that was that.

Sayuri still didn’t know what to think, she still thought that people from Konoha must have been nice, for the most part, it wasn’t like there was a place where everyone was mean. Well, her old village of course had some mean people, but that wasn’t everyone, that was only her teachers, sometimes, only sometimes.

The Konoha genin, it turned out, weren’t so different from Sayuri and her friends.

When she went up against one of the six, after quickly learning that using a water wave jutsu after all of them wasn’t going to cut it, and it was much better to focus her attacks on one person, the headscarf-wearing boy was quickly supported by his teammate.

They worked well as a pair, and Sayuri found that unlike her, they weren’t afraid of causing real hurt to their opponents. She tried to step up her attacks a notch, but found that when she did, she felt bad when she caused pain to one or the other. They were obviously friends, and what if she seriously hurt one of them? She stalled and found herself caught between their long, kunai-like knives. 

Then they moved on, and she countered an incoming fire ball with a jet of water, protecting both herself and Shigure, who had come to fight alongside her. Sayuri hesitated a moment at the girl’s red eyes, and almost said someone’s name in shock, but her throat closed up painfully, and she was caught from behind by a kick, sending her flying.

She landed face down on the ground, and turned around to face her opponent, drawing a kunai to counter his own one. Then it was dodging away from him, slipping under his arm, jumping over his leg, trying to find some way to take him down without hurting him too bad. It was going well though, they could just finish off these Konoha nin and get their missing green gemstone and be done with the maze.

She used her water wave jutsu again, and while the boy with soft brown hair tied up in a messy ponytail and a scar across his nose was knocked down for a little bit, Sayuri didn’t rush in to finish him off.

“Hey, you’re pretty good,” he said.

“Oh, um thanks.”

And then it wasn’t going very well at all. Sayuri could have stopped his attack, she would just need to stab up into his chest, but she couldn’t do that, it wasn’t fair.

She woke to a pink sky, the sun burning orange against the horizon. Her body ached, and when she sat up, her head throbbed at the movement, and her side twinged with pain. She wanted to just lie down back in the sand and go to sleep. But she still wasn’t safe here, so she fought through the pain and sat up.

The Konoha genin had gone. How long for she didn’t know.

“What happened?” she asked Ezume, who was sitting a little away from her.

“We lost...they took our stones, both of them…”

“Oh…”

She turned round to see Shigure propped up against a rock, unconscious, cradling a cloth against his eye, Mayumi crouched beside him.

Tosai lay face up on the ground, his wounds being tended to by Masuo, leaning over him, palms glowing green.

“How is he?” Mayumi asked.

The green glow stopped. “He’ll be fine. Okay, remove the cloth,” he said, and Mayumi lifted the wet rag away from Shigure’s eye. Sayuri gasped as she saw the ugly pink cut starting from Shigure’s brow bone and ending at his cheek, the eyelid red and purple and swollen.

Masuo put his hands to the eye, and closed his eyes, furrowing his brow in concentration. Sayuri watched as the cut began to mend under the green light, then it cut out, and the lines in Masuo’s forehead became deeper as his hands glowed again.

“Mayumi, I can’t do this, this needs someone with more experience.”

Mayumi was a silent for a moment, then stood up. “Then...we’re going to withdraw.”

“No you can’t!” Sayuri blurted out, and flinched at the dirty look Masuo gave her.

Mayumi was already unsealing the scroll that would evacuate her team out of the maze. “I don’t know when Tosai’s going to wake up, and we need someone to look at Shigure’s eye. You can take this,” she said, holding out a red stone, “Won’t be needing it anymore. She gave Sayuri a small smile. “Thanks for coming to our help, appreciate it. You take care of yourself won’t you.” The last part was directed mostly at Masuo, her hand resting gently on his arm. He lay his own hand on hers for a brief second. Then they parted, and Masuo drew back closer to Sayuri.

Mayumi unfurled the scroll. There was a puff of smoke, and her team were gone.

—

Sayuri was too anxious to eat the next morning, and only swallowed a few dry crackers under the encouragement of Ezume. It was her fault after all that they hadn’t got the stone.

Next time, she vowed, she wouldn’t hesitate. If such a situation occurred again, she would be decisive. 

The mood was sombre; a heavy silence had fallen between the three of them since their defeat the prior evening. 

Presently, Ezume stood up, “Guess we should try and look for the other stones.”

“Yeah, if Sayuri doesn’t mess it up. Were you really fighting or what?” 

“I was trying to! But I...I don’t want to hurt anyone…”

“Hurt them?! These people, they trampled all over Amegakure, and if there was another war, they’d do it again. They don’t care.”

“But I—” 

Masuo wasn’t finished. “You have no idea what it was like. How my parents never came home, for days at a time, and when I visited the hospital, when I saw...when I saw… they won’t give us any quarter Sayuri, it’s time you grew up.”

Sayuri bit her lip. 

“Sorry.” 

Silently, she again vowed that she wouldn’t hesitate next time. She wouldn’t be weak. She wasn’t weak.

She hoped the time wouldn’t come too soon, however, but barely a minute after Team Tomoya emerged from their shelter, they were ambushed by the three Kirigakure nin with cloth masks.

There were no shouts of support to each other, no playful banter, not even any cheap insults thrown Team Tomoya’s way. Just attack after attack. This time, Sayuri gave it her all, determined not to let the opposing team win. She wasn’t weak. She was a shinobi of Amegakure.

Then one of them used a hidden mist jutsu, and her world was shrouded. She could sense her opponents, and she guessed Masuo could as well, but as far as she knew, Ezume was in the dark.

Sayuri winced with pain as three shuriken embedded themselves into her side. She needed to cancel the jutsu. This person, they were the one that cast it right? She moved towards the chakra signature.

She was caught in a tight grip, the enemy shinobi securing Sayuri’s arms behind her back. “Like my jutsu?” Came a female voice into her ear, “Can’t see your little friends now, would be a shame if something happened to them.” 

Suddenly, Ezume cried out in pain, and Sayuri struggled, trying to get away.

“Oh no,” the voice continued, “Doesn’t sound good for your friend. What you going to do? Cry about it?”

Sayuri blinked. Of course she wouldn’t cry. She wiggled her arms about in their limited range of movement.

“Stop struggling. Face it. You’re not much good of a shinobi are you? Can’t even stop a simple mist jutsu, can’t help your friends. Pathetic.”

Sayuri didn’t answer, still wiggling her arms about. Finally, she felt a tiny scroll drop from her sleeve into her palm. Then she unsealed it, and felt the familiar weight of a kunai in her hands.

And she thrust the blade up behind her into the enemy.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Reika is one of my favourite original characters. When I first conceptualised her, I had a very 2d caricature of the stereotypical ‘mean girl’ but now I really love her!


	14. Blood of the Mist

“It’s not your fault, you couldn’t have done anything else.”

Yes she could have, of course she could have. Should have done. Did he have a poor memory? He saw what happened. They all saw what happened. 

It had been several hours after the incident, and Team Tomoya were sitting in a common room of the hotel in the early evening, Sayuri curled up in an armchair and distractedly looking over an old wildlife magazine that had been left out, turned to an article on...something to do with birds. It didn’t really matter though what it was about, because her mind was going over the thing, over and over again. 

The thing.

One moment Sayuri was fighting around in the dark, thinking one of her teammates was about to die, the next moment, the kunai she was holding had gone right through her enemy, and the mist jutsu had been released, as the tight grip on Sayuri had loosened. 

The kiri-nin had fallen on her knees.

The kiri-nin. Her name was Ayane—her teammates had screamed it as she went down, running to her, and it had stuck in Sayuri’s mind: Their despairing wails, the look of sheer terror on their faces. They had seemed much older than Sayuri in their prior confidence, but they were really only a couple of years older than her.

Blood, so much blood. Running down from where the kunai was embedded in the chest, and falling from the mouth. Then the eyes had rolled back, and the girl had slumped to the floor.

After that, Sayuri couldn’t remember clearly. She thought that the Mist shinobi had handed over their stones, faces pale. A lucky coincidence, probably, that they were exactly the stones they needed. But then it was a quick run to the exit, with no more encounters, thankfully, save another logical type question. Sayuri couldn’t remember what it was about.   
  
But they had completed the exam and were met by Tomoya who had congratulated them in his usual enthusiastic manner, and took lunch with him, but Sayuri couldn’t eat anything, she shouldn’t eat anything, although she craved the orange shaved ice that she had not yet had luck in finding. Tomoya had noticed something was wrong, but she shrugged off his concerns, leaving her teammates to explain what had happened. And probably say how much of a burden she was as they talked in hushed voices and gave her sympathetic glances across the room.

“Ezume’s right. It could have been us...”

Sayuri didn’t listen to the end of Masuo’s sentence.

Could have been us.

Sayuri had been thinking that too at the time. Was it fear, then? That made her a better shinobi? She didn’t know. She wasn’t stupid, she knew what shinobi did, and she wanted to be the best one ever. She shouldn’t have been acting this way, shouldn’t have let it affect her so much. But right now she couldn’t think. She didn’t know.

“I’m going to bed,” she said, and abruptly stood up.

“Great!” Tomoya chirped, “Probably best to have a good night’s sleep. Have a good rest.”

Sayuri nodded numbly and left the room.

___

“How is she?”

“Fine I guess. She’s not any different.” 

Obito nodded in a seemingly nonchalant manner at Zetsu’s incredibly informative observation, but his mind was working ten to the dozen. Why hadn’t it worked? He really thought something like that would have changed something. That was why he had sent the Kirigakure shinobi after all. Or rather, why Yagura had sent them. It would be unfathomable for other countries to ask for such a mission, but the kunoichi were only the third caste, used to that sort of treatment.

For a brief moment he felt guilt at what had happened, but then his mind cleared and it was like he hadn’t cared in the first place. 

Admittedly, Obito had been surprised when Zetsu relayed the news of her kill. He hadn’t expected her to go that far, she was such a weak-minded little thing. Though, if she started early, and was able to cope with it okay, it was useful to know he could just use her for missions if his original plan for her failed. 

But it wouldn’t.

Still, he wasn’t so sure of Zetsu’s assessment. Sure, the creature was loyal to Obito, as loyal as one could be when they shared a common goal. But Obito didn’t forget that Zetsu was originally Madara’s lackey, and was only really with him since he was meant to be Madara now too, and resurrect the real Madara at the appropriate time. Which would not be happening. The old crone could stay dead. It was a little ridiculous really, all this pretending, but Obito didn’t care about who he was, so long as everything would be set to rights in the end.

She was crying, of course she was. He had been pathetic like that once too. It was sickening. 

No, it was sad. The poor girl. Poor, sweet Sayuri.

No, why should he care? She was just another tool after all. 

The crying should have told him that something was wrong, but that was not unusual—it was when she didn’t immediately brighten when she noticed his presence in the room, and go on a five minute retelling about everything that had happened, only told him to “Go away,” in a choked voice. Normally she would go into a long detailed account about her day, with Tobi this, and Tobi that. It was rather endearing, in a way.

No matter, he had come to do a job. Not to get sentimental about silly little girls.

“Sayuri.”

At his commanding tone, she lifted her head to face him, her face wet with tears. He had a sudden impulse to comfort her, and tell her it was alright.

But he didn’t care.

“Come here.”

She stood up, albeit with a sigh, and obediently crossed to him, worrying her bottom lip with her teeth.

When she was standing before him, he looked her over, assessing her chakra network with her sharingan. Or tried to—it took only 10 seconds before she became restless, and would shift around on her feet, body hunched over to look at the patterns she drew in the carpet with her toe.

“Stay still, stand up straight,” he growled, and caught her by the shoulder. She did, still not looking him in the eye, staring into the distance. But then she started to tap her foot impatiently, and Obito clenched his jaw behind the mask.

“Will you stop it.” 

He caught her chin, none too gently, forcing her to look up into his glowing red eye.

___

She woke up lying on her bed and him crouched beside it, as if he had just been the one to wake her.

“What happened?” she found herself asking, forgetting she was in a mood and didn’t want to talk to anyone.

Tobi stood up, his voice soft, “I had to check if you were alright, make sure you’re not sick.”

“Masuo’s a good healer so I didn’t really get hurt too much,” she shifted so she was kneeling on the bed, “I’m okay.”

“Yes,” he said absently, and his hand lifted as if to stroke her hair, then dropped down again, “You’ll be alright.”

Sayuri didn’t know what to say. Had he just come to make sure she wasn’t sick? It seemed odd, he didn’t normally visit her while she was away, but he was here now, and she felt herself leaning into him, before he grabbed her arms and prevented her from getting any closer. Sayuri glanced upwards to see his sharingan was still activated. She looked away, and the grip loosened before he took a couple of steps back from the bed.

“I—I’m sorry,” she said, before she could stop herself, “I—I, I don’t...I didn’t mean to, I didn’t, I’m sorry, I, but I couldn’t see, and then I heard Ezume cry out and earlier with Mayumi and I was trying to pay attention, but I panicked, and, and, I panicked, and I know I’m not supposed to, but I couldn’t, I’m sorry—” And then she found that she couldn’t breathe and she felt blood in her mouth where her teeth had punctured her lip, and she was pulling on her sleeves, feeling the fabric tighten around her bony arms.

Then strong hands had grabbed her wrists and firmly but gently grabbed her arms, forcing them at her sides. 

“Sayuri. Calm down.”

She swallowed and nodded slowly. 

“What on earth are you apologising for?” 

“I...I killed someone. I did something bad.”

“So? People kill and die all the time as a shinobi. Why does it matter.” Sayuri stared. She was used to Tobi’s unprecedented mood swings by now, but he hadn’t been like this before. “Or are you saying you don’t want to be a shinobi anymore?”

Sayuri tore away from him. “But, this is different, I know there are, with, when you have to kill, but they were innocent. It’s different.”

“Innocent?” there was a mocking tone to his voice, “They were going to kill your friends. Doesn’t sound very innocent to me.”

“But, I heard, I heard that in Kirigakure, they’re made to kill people and they’re not, they’re not even that old. I heard that even their friends…”

There was something of a snort from Tobi. “There’s much worse than that there, believe me.”

“Oh yes, you’ve been to the Land of Water, you’ve told me before,” a sudden thought came to her, “Is that why you never let me go with you?”

“What? No, it’s...never mind.” He crossed to the window. 

“Is that what you’re doing over there? Helping them? Because I think it’s bad over there at the moment, and maybe you could, with the Akatsuki, you could help them out, and, um, yeah, but I’m sure you’re doing that already,” she finished, looking at him as he seemed deep in thought. For a moment she caught his eye and it seemed so intense, that even without the sharingan, she had to look away.

“Um, can I get some shaved ice tomorrow? Because I passed the exam and that. I mean, not the exam, the first part.”

“Why should I care?”

Sayuri flinched at his tone, and decided that the blue and yellow checked pattern of the bedsheets were very interesting as they became decorated with tears.

Then she heard his footsteps, and relaxed into his touch as she felt a hand stroking her hair.

“Hey shh now,” he said, his voice soft again, comforting her as she wept. She responded by throwing her arms around him, resting her head against his chest, soothed by the steady beat of his heart.

When they did pull apart, he took her chin, but this time his touch was soft, his thumb barely grazing her jaw.

“You can do whatever you want tomorrow, little one, just make sure you eat properly, okay?”

She nodded, sniffling.

“Hey, it will all be alright. I promise.”

___

When Sayuri woke the next morning, in a state of grogginess from oversleep, her stomach dropped at the sudden unfamiliarity of the place. Then she got her bearings, and decided to venture outside.

She didn’t see her teammates, or any of her other friends as she went through the hotel and along the road, for which she was grateful. Tomoya was right, a long sleep had done her good, but still, she wanted to be alone for a little bit, and go over some things in her head.

Speaking of Tomoya, she almost tripped over his scarf as she walked along a quiet street.

“What are you doing?” she asked, looking at him as he was crouched down, tapping a stick along the bottom of a wall.

“Spiders.”

“Spiders?”

“Yes, Spiders. They’re always trying to get away,” He shook his stick for emphasis, “Sayuri-chan!” He exclaimed suddenly, and turned to her as if only just noticing her, “You haven’t seen any spiders have you?” He jumped to his feet.

  
“Well yes, lots of times.”

  
“No, no, not those spiders, these spiders, you know, the spidery ones. With the,” he guestered, making circles in the air with his hands, “Stuff.”

Sayuri shook her head slowly.

“Good!” Tomoya smiled, “Cause I don’t want to see them, it will be all wrong. Invasive species and all that.”

Sayuri blinked. “It will?

“Yes, of course it will!” He crouched down again, peering at the bottom of the wall, “It was my fault really, I really shouldn’t have gone, but you know it was the trip of a lifetime, well I say trip of a lifetime, it was really just me saying that to get past the immigration guard with a child’s ticket, and let me tell you Sayuri, don’t mention the word ‘chess’ to a Mirialan, really had to talk my way out of that one...” And then he went on a bit about some more strange words Sayuri couldn’t quite make out. (One of them sounded something like the word ‘television’, but that still didn’t make any sense whatsoever.)

“Um, I’m going to go, if that’s okay…?”

Tomoya dismissively waved his hand, tapping on the wall with his stick.

“See you!”  
___

Sayuri hadn’t been to the park in a long while. This one, away from the main centre of Sunagakure obviously didn’t get much use, with its peeling paint, and lack of custom—besides Sayuri, there was just a mother supervising her two small children, a boy and a girl, on the slide.

The mother didn’t pay much attention to Sayuri as she approached, just gave her the once over, then turned back to stop the son from going up the slide the wrong way.

After a few half-hearted swings for the hell of it, Sayuri sat half-on, half-off the swing, one foot making patterns in the sand.

She supposed she should do something while she was out there, for thinking things over hadn’t actually helped her that much, so she started to sense chakra signatures, studying how each one was different, and trying to work out if she could distinguish between them. She could roughly make out whether someone was civilian or a shinobi, if she was concentrated just on them, but it was a lot harder than she thought. So much for a little brain training.

And then she felt a truly monstrous chakra coming her way, and stood up, tensed. Was it a Suna anbu come to deal with her for breaking the rules on the exam? She didn’t think she broke them, but she wasn’t sure.

And then the person came into sight, and Sayuri slowly sat back down, cheeks burning. It was just a boy.

Then she got a proper look at him, and suddenly she knew.

How could he do this? To think that she had been so foolish as to trust him.

Tobi had been hiding things from her all this time.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is the beginning of the occasional excerpts from Obito’s point of view. 
> 
> I hope the voice is different enough from Sayuri’s.


	15. Monsters in the Sand

Sayuri was so excited by the arrival of the little boy, whose hair bore such a resemblance in colour to her own, that she momentarily forgot about her anguish over the exams, and couldn’t help but stare at him, a grin on her face. She didn’t stop until the boy looked up from where he had been staring at the ground, and their eyes met, accompanied by a tinge of red on the boy’s pale cheeks. Sayuri quickly looked away. Staring was rude. Furthermore, she didn’t want to scare him, especially as... Well she felt it was important in this case to make a good first impression, as she did with everyone that she met. 

So she looked away from him, and it was then she realised she wasn’t the only in the park who had noted the boy’s arrival.

The mother’s reaction was quite different from Sayuri’s. She watched as the woman, who had gone suddenly pale, grabbed her children’s hands, almost knocking over the girl in the process as she yanked her from the slide, and hauled them off, with a last look of fear and disgust at the boy.

It was that look. Sayuri knew that look. She had experienced it herself in her home village, by the grown-ups who called her stupid. She had almost deserved it, even more so now, after what she had done, (No she hadn’t, she was a good girl.) but this boy, he hadn’t done anything wrong. He couldn’t have, he looked very young still, about five or six, and what could a six-year-old have done to warrant such a look? 

So Sayuri ignored the small part of her brain that told her to run-away, (there was still the thing about the monstrous chakra, and it was definitely coming from this boy, she was sure of it, ) and smiled brightly at the boy, who had sat himself on the swing next to the one she had been using, and asked,

“Are you alright?”

The boy looked rather startled to be asked such a question, but he blushed and mumbled “I’m fine.”

“Good,” Sayuri replied, and sat herself back on the swing again. Then, because it was the first step in making friends, “I”m Sayuri.”

There was a pause, and Sayuri wondered if the boy had heard her, because he was looking at the floor again, so she decided to be more direct.

“What’s your name?”

The boy then looked up, a small, curious smile on his face.

“I’m Gaara.”

“That’s a nice name,” Sayuri smiled, “So you live here in Sunagakure? Do you come to this park a lot?”

“Yeah,” said the boy quietly, the smile faltering.

“Well, I think it’s quite nice here,” said Sayuri, in an effort to make the boy smile some more. If she was being truthful, she thought that Suna wasn’t that nice; too much hot sand, and not enough water, but expressing such thoughts out loud would not be conducive to her goal of being friends. And this boy would be her friend, she was sure of it. “I think it’s quite different from where I am from, which is Amegakure, where there is a lot of rain, but here there is a lot of sand, isn’t there?”

“Yes.”

Sayuri wondered if all his answers would be monosyllabic; this was a lot harder than she thought, making friends with a boy that was several years younger than her. It would have been easier to speak to someone her age perhaps, and they would have something more in common. Like the exam. No, she didn’t want to think about the exam, she wanted to forget it happened, and concentrate on being friends with Gaara.

“Do you like sand?”

Sayuri was trying to think of a way to answer that wouldn’t hurt Gaara’s feelings, when she saw a few particles of sand swirl about, making circles in the air, twisting around as if in dance. Then they dropped to the floor.

She looked to Gaara, mouth agape. “Wow! That’s so cool! What else can you do?”

The sand shifted again, rising up in front of her. When it fell, a perfectly formed sandcastle appeared, reminding Sayuri of some of the structures she had seen in Suna. She stood and admired it for a bit, and then asked Gaara if he could make different shapes, such as the buildings back home in Ame.

“A lot of them are all quite tall, because there are lots of people living there, and they are grey, but you don’t need to worry about the colour, I’m just telling you in case you want to know, and also there a lot of pipes so you have to be careful not step on them when you’re running about because most of them can bear your weight, but some of them are flimsy and then you get your foot wet, and it’s not very nice, and, also, everyone carries around towels for that reason because in case you get your foot wet, or you want to sit on a bench but you don’t want to sit on a wet bench so you use a towel—”

Sayuri stopped, seeing Gaara’s face, which had gradually shifted from interest to confusion. Oh dear, she hadn’t done a good job of explaining things, she had got carried away again. She had been trying to stop talking so much, but it was difficult sometimes; she was excited to make a new friend. Especially one like Gaara; what a stroke of luck to find someone like that here!

Sayuri explained again, slowly this time, trying her best to describe the buildings. The end result was something like the buildings in Amegakure, if you put a bit of imagination to it. They spent the next couple of hours admiring Gaara’s sand creations—not just buildings, but other everyday items too, and Sayuri taught Gaara how to use the swing. She felt a bit sorry for him when she realised he didn’t know how to, but the feeling was overshadowed by her excitement in showing off to him. Little children were much more easily impressed than people her age, and lately even Tobi’s praise hadn’t been as profuse as it had been when she was younger. All the more important for her to do well on her exams.

Their time came to an end when a man with blond hair appeared. Sayuri was immediately on her guard, remembering how the woman had acted around Gaara. She’d show them, and she wouldn’t even cry, not one bit. She stood in front of the boy in a defensive position, and the man also seemed to regard her with distrust.

But Gaara ran around Sayuri, exclaiming “Yashamaru!”

It turned out that this Yashamaru person was Gaara’s uncle, which explained his apparent wary attitude, and he had smiled softly at Sayuri when Gaara explained that they had been playing together. They departed with promises that they would meet again at the park tomorrow. Sayuri really needed to train, especially as the tournament section of the exams was coming up in about a week, but she readily agreed, as this might be the only chance she had of forming a close relationship with someone like that. Perhaps when she left they could write letters to each other.

She wondered if Gaara could write, he did say he hadn’t yet started at the academy. Perhaps his uncle could help him. Although, it was strange. Did Gaara also lose his parents, and was it another way they were alike? She suddenly remembered a fairytale from when she was little about an evil uncle who had murdered his own brother to gain power. But that was just a story. Gaara seemed to have a good relationship with his uncle, and Sayuri didn’t know anyone that had a good relationship with their own parents’ murderer. 

She ran into Reika on the way back to the hotel, “There you are!” she panted, her short hair sticking to her face, “I had to get Tomoya-sensei to tell me where you were, do you know he’s walking around the city doing very odd things with the walls. Almost tripped over his dumb scarf.”

“Reika-chan, you got through!” Sayuri flung her arms around her briefly, bouncing up and down when they parted.

“Yes, eventually. Mayumi’s just got out of the hospital.” Sayuri’s face fell, She hadn’t thought about Mayumi, she had been so selfish.

“Oh cheer up! We can go see her tomorrow, if she’s not with her boyfriend,” she rolled her eyes.

“Yeah!”

“So, dinner? It’s just us, my team decided they would rather go straight to bed. Don’t blame them, to be honest.”

  
“Can we try and get some shaved ice?”

  
Reika laughed. “You and your shaved ice. Yeah, we’ll see if we can find some.”

They didn’t find any that night, or the next day, or the day after with Mayumi, who agreed to help Sayuri look as she had the extra time, not having to train for the exams. Sayuri, on the other hand, visited the training field that had been specially reserved for the Amegakure nin every day, sparring with her friends. At the weekend, the Ame teams enjoyed a meal together when Shigure was released from the hospital, missing an eye—that had been a shock, but he had shrugged off Sayuri’s apology, “I have a real battle scar now, won’t that be a story to tell,” and everyone laughed.

Sayuri kept her promise to Gaara, spending a couple of hours with him between her training schedule. Although when he didn’t appear on the third day, she spent the whole day worrying about him. He had appeared the next day though, saying that he wasn’t able to get out, and they agreed that they would cancel if the other person was more than 20 minutes late.

So she trained, and played, and went sightseeing with her friends, and helped Tomoya with his odd quest involving spiders, until the night before the tournament battles, when she was visited by Tobi, a cup of shaved ice in his hands. She immediately forgot she was cross with him, even though he shouldn’t have hid such a big secret, and told him all about the training she had been doing and the other goings on of the past days.

“Gaara?” His tone was serious, “You do know...you know what he is, don’t you?” 

“Yes, of course I do.”

“Good. Then, you know—”

“He’s my cousin.” It was obvious. Of course, he was an Uzumaki, just like her, which was why it was so important to be on good terms with him. Tobi must have known about this long-lost family member, he knew nearly everything, but for some reason he didn’t tell her. She was about to confront him about this, and ask him why he had been hiding things from her, when he burst out laughing.

“What? Where did you get that idea from? You are funny Sayuri-chan,” his arm came to lean her back against his chest and he rested his chin atop her head. “Funny little girl.”

“I’m not little!” She pouted.

“Okay okay, you’re not little,” his voice laced with amusement, hand coming up to move a loose strand, “But really, your cousin?”

She bit her lip. “He has red hair, so I thought…”

“Not everyone who has red hair is like you, silly girl.”

“I’m not silly,” Sayuri frowned, “Why are you here anyway? I thought you’re meant to be on one of your secret missions or something.”

“Hey,” a gloved finger was at her lips, “Enough of that.”

“But why can’t I go with you on missions? It’s not fair.”

There was a deep sigh. “I already told you a hundred times, you’re not old enough yet.”

“But you say that all the time. Why can’t I be old enough now?”

Then a tortured scream pierced through the night, and his sharingan immediately burned red, and Sayuri raced to the window, seeing only the quiet of the Sunagakure night.

“Sayuri, come away from there.” 

“But someone might be in trouble, we need to help!”

“They’ll deal with it. Now come away.”

There was another terrible anguished wail, and she opened the catch and jumped into the cool of the night before Tobi could stop her, racing to the source of the sound.

A gaggle of people had formed a few streets away from the hotel, and when she slipped her way to the front of the crowd, she saw a woman, the same woman from the park, her legs bent at odd angles, her eyes staring up at nothing, and Gaara beside her, head in his hands.

“Gaara-kun? Are you alright?” She stretched out her hand, tentatively taking a step forward.

“Ma’am, stay back now,” said someone, and Sayuri turned her head to see a Suna anbu.

“I just want to sleep, why won’t you let me sleep?” Gaara muttered, and Sayuri inched closer.

“Miss, we ask that you return to your accommodation.” 

Sayuri turned to the anbu. “But Gaara, is he okay? He needs help.”

She took a firm step forward, before the sand lashed out towards her. Sayuri jumped back reflexively, but landed nimbly on her feet, and put her hand out to reach for him.

“Gaara-kun…”

His face turned towards her, twisted in anger, and then it broke into a wide smile, and the voice was not his own.

“Run along little girl.”

So she did, tears blinding her vision, blood pumping in her ears, trying to feel her way back to the hotel. And then a pair of hands grabbed her and she tried to fight them off, but her hands passed through nothing, and she felt the lurch of the jutsu that took her into the time-space.

She clung to Tobi, burying herself into his shirt, feeling his long hair tickle at her face. She took a deep breath, then slowly pulled herself away to wipe at her eyes with her sleeve. She was a big girl. She didn’t cry.

She looked up at the mask, impassive as ever, “What’s going on? Why would Gaara do something like that?”

“The world is cruel. Surely you know that. In a perfect world, he wouldn’t have this demon inside of him.”

“Demon?” Sayuri frowned, “What demon?”

“The one tails. You know about the tailed beasts, don’t you, little one?”

“Yes,” said Sayuri, feeling suddenly stupid, “No. I, I don’t know.”

“Well you know what they have done. Sunagakure. They have taken this poor boy, and have made him live this terrible life, just to create a weapon. They are foolish. We should stop them, shouldn’t we?”

“Well then let’s go!” Sayuri tugged at Tobi’s sleeve, “Let’s go now and free him!”

He didn’t move, and a bitter laugh came from him. “It’s not that simple. But don’t worry, we will save him, and you’re going to help me.”

“I am?” 

“Oh yes,” he twirled a strand of her hair in his fingers, “But one thing, I don’t want you pulling a stunt like that again. When I tell you to do something, you do it, understand?”

Sayuri bit her lip. “Yes Tobi.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay I was a bit self-indulgent and shoehorned in a character I have a soft spot for. But isn’t that the premise of all fanfiction really?


	16. SST

There was a sigh of relief when they made it home, and as they reached the border between the countries, the sky darkened and soon the scant few drops of rain transformed into a full spring shower.

“Oh my gosh, rain, water, blessed water!” Reika exclaimed, catching the drops on her tongue.

Sayuri had thought that in order to become a chuunin she had to emerge victorious on the exam. As it turned out, this wasn’t the case, and when she confessed her misunderstanding to her friends, Ezume was rather bemused.

“How would that work? They can’t just have one person becoming chuunin. It’s the individual villages that decide. Not the ones hosting the exam.”

“Oh yes, I knew that.”

However, she couldn’t help but think her performance on the one-to-one battles had somewhat jeopardised her chances of getting the promotion. Her first fight, against a Suna puppet user, hadn’t fared too badly, but she had been defeated in her second battle against an Uchiha, the same kunoichi she had faced in the battle with Mayumi, in fact.

So when she was granted the advancement, Sayuri, who had resigned herself to congratulating her friends, burst into tears.

She soon perked up however, and proudly waved about the certificate and newly issued flak jacket, proclaiming to all that cared to listen, 

“Look look I got chuunin! I got chuunin.”

“If you keep going on about it, I’ll consider revoking your advancement.”

Sayuri stopped in her celebratory dance to fix her gaze upon Pain, face impassive as ever. 

Her hands dropped to her sides, the certificate falling to the floor, and the jacket held loosely in her grasp. “Sorry Pain-sama, I didn’t mean…”

“Tch.”

Sayuri was wondering when she could ask Pain to let her go on more difficult , preferably A-rank ones, when she felt Tobi behind her, picking up the dropped piece of paper.

“Tobi, Tobi, Tobi, I got chuunin! I did it, I passed the exam! I didn’t think––”

She was stopped by a finger pressed to her lips, “Come,” he said, offering her his hand. 

When they got to her room, Sayuri perched on the bed, fingers gripping the covers tightly. She hoped Tobi would be pleased with her. He had been cross the last time, telling her not to do something like that again. And even though it was her own fault for being stupid and disobeying him, she couldn’t help but feel disheartened when he didn’t show up at all during the finals.

He must be busy. It was selfish of her to want him all to herself.

It still hurt though, and her anxiety grew when she failed her second battle. Tobi would think she was so stupid. Couldn’t even win a simple battle.

Couldn’t do anything right.

Of course, when she found out she reached chuunin, she forgot herself for a second and greeted him as enthusiastically as ever. Now that it had sunk in, she couldn’t help but feel like a sham. She didn’t deserve to be a chuunin.

She looked up at Tobi, leaning against the chest of drawers where he had stored Sayuri’s certificate for her. Was he pleased with her? Was he proud? The mask tilted to the side. Perhaps it was meant to be for comedic effect, but she didn’t laugh, just bit her lip and stared at the floor, legs idly swinging to-and-fro.

“Listen, I got you a present.”

She perked up at that, looking eagerly at the long wooden box Tobi had produced out of thin air. He passed it to her, and she took it reverently, holding the polished box in her lap.

“Well go on, open it.”

Sayuri slowly undid the golden latches, and lifted the lid. Upon seeing the contents she stopped a while to gape in awe at it, looking at the polished blade, gleaming brightly silver in the light, and the handle wrapped in red.

“Is it for me,” she looked at Tobi, who had sat on the bed beside her, “Can I keep it?”

“That’s the general idea...”

“Thank you Tobi, thank you!” She beamed, and tackled him with a hug that had him stumbling before he held her tight.

When they parted she immediately launched into:  
“Where is it from, can I use it on my missions? Can I use it on a mission with you? When are we going on a mission together? Can we go together soon? Please, I won’t let you down, I promise. When are we going to start?”

Tobi put his hands on her shoulders, holding her still.

“Sayuri, shh.”

“Oh...sorry...But, we can go on a mission together right? Now that I’m chuunin?”

“Sayuri...no.”

“Is it because I failed the battle? I’m sorry, I’ll do better next time, I—”

“It’s not that.”

“Then what?”

She bit her lip at his silence, staring down at the floor, then relaxed into his grasp as he brushed a loose strand of hair from her face. His voice was the gentlest she had heard, “It’s because I…”

A rumbling sound announced the arrival of Zetsu, and the hand dropped away.

“I don’t need you getting in my way,” Tobi snapped, “Don’t ask me again, do you understand?”

Sayuri froze at the sudden change in mood, blinking back a tear.

“Do you understand?” His eye turned red.

“Yes Tobi.”

__

The missions Sayuri took on as a chuunin were noticeably more difficult compared to what she had before, and she found that more and more often, she was pitted against enemy shinobi, and would reach for the sword she now carried strapped to her back with increasing frequency.

However, the battles were intended to only temporarily incapacitate her opponents; she had not been ordered to cause fatalities just yet, but that all changed a year later on a mission with Mayumi, who had become chuunin herself after taking the exam in Iwagakure in the Autumn.

They had been sent to neutralise some Kusa nin who had been spotted getting a bit too close to the Hidden Rain, and on the 13th of May they set out to where the Hidden Grass ninja were hiding, two hours north of Amegakure. Sayuri remembered the date well, because there was a newspaper lying open on the cart of a person selling protective amulets at the side of the road. She had only stopped to look at it, as the man called to the team as they went by, asking where they were off to.

“Confidential I’m afraid sir,” Toshiko-sensei replied smoothly.

“Is that so...Well then, suit yourself. You wanting something miss?” He addressed Sayuri.

“Oh no sir, I was just looking.” She stepped back from the stall. “Is there something wrong?” She asked, seeing that the man was staring at her oddly.

“Funny,” he scratched his beard, “I don’t recall seeing that hair colour much around these parts, you sure you’re from Amegakure?”

“Yes.”

“Don’t look like it.”

“Well I am,” Sayuri frowned, then let herself be dragged off by Mayumi, who was smiling genially. 

Sayuri used her sensory abilities to help locate the Kusagakure shinobi, posing as civilians in a simple village. It was more difficult since they had obviously attempted to suppress their chakra, but there was still a difference between them and the real civilians of the village. That, along with the descriptions, enabled the team to locate their targets. They prepared a plan of attack which would best enable them to neutralise the enemy quickly and quietly.

Masuo’s techniques came in handy for this sort of thing, as his clan’s secret technique enabled him to link minds as a way of communication. The first time he did it, Sayuri took a bit of time getting used to the concept.

“So what am I thinking?”

“I don’t know, it doesn’t work like that, thankfully. I don’t want to hear everything that goes through your head. You have to kind of, project your thoughts to me. Try saying hello in your mind.”

‘Hello Masuo-san, can you hear me?! I AM TALKING TO YOU IN MY MIND.’

‘Yes, yes, I can hear you, will you please think a bit quieter.’

The technique caused a strain on Masuo’s chakra, so he could only use it sparingly, such as times like these, where they needed to relay messages quickly across distances, in case things went awry and they had to chase after anyone—it wouldn’t do for the Kusa nin to get back to the Hidden Grass and spill any secrets.

Which obviously meant there was no room for survivors. But that was okay, Sayuri had trained for this, and Tobi would never let her go on missions with him if she didn’t prove to him that she was ready.

And when Toshiko-sensei gave the order, Sayuri was drawing her katana and going in to attack.

And then she was thrusting her sword into their stomach, and it was only for a brief moment, but as the blood flowed from the wound, her mind was filled with images of the Kiri nin at the chuunin exams, then the bodies of her parents, and she felt the link between Masuo abruptly snap.

She was left with the shinobi before her slumped on the ground, gasping through a blood filled mouth, arms raised up towards her, and again there was nothing she could do. And nothing she should do. It was the way the shinobi world worked. She should be used to it by now.

The next one Sayuri made sure to finish quickly.

Masuo confronted her afterwards, “What the hell was that?!” 

“It’s nothing,” Sayuri lied, trying to sound assertive, but coming off as snappish. 

“No, no, no, that was a memory wasn’t it?”

The journey home was quick, Masuo and Mayumi on either side of her, and although she assured him that she was okay now, Masuo took her to the hospital, marching through the doors to the left of the reception and dragging Sayuri with him, Mayumi quickly following along behind.

“Hold on,” called the receptionist after them, “Do you have an appointment?”

“Yes,” said Masuo abruptly, not stopping until they turned down several corridors and knocked loudly on a wooden blue door, bearing a plaque that read ‘Doctor Umeda Madoka.’

There was no answer, so Masuo tried on the handle, but it was locked shut.

“Sorry,” he said, leaning against the door panting, “We’ll have to wait. But my mum will be here soon, and she’ll have something to help you.”

Sayuri nodded.

“Hey, come, sit down,” said Mayumi, guiding her to a chair. They waited in silence for a few moments, before a young woman in a white coat came marching down the corridor. 

“Masuo, what are you doing? You can’t just come barging in, you need to wait your turn like everyone else.” 

“Where’s mum?”

“Why do you need—” Then the woman shared a long look with Masuo, along with a brief glance in Sayuri’s direction.

“Mum’s in surgery, she won’t be out for another five hours. Dad’s going to be off in ten minutes though.”

“Dad’s opposite,” said Masuo, indicating a door the other side of the corridor, this time the plaque reading Doctor Umeda Ichirou.

When Masuo’s Dad arrived, he smiled warmly at Sayuri, and opened his door with a set of keys from his jacket, “Let’s step inside shall we?”

The office was furnished in drab shades of grey, but there were colourful children’s paintings on the walls, and on the desk, Sayuri noticed a frame containing four small children, a younger Masuo with what Sayuri assumed were his three elder sisters—one of them she recognised as the woman from earlier. She was directed to sit down in a chair, and she perched on the end of it, hands clenched in fists at her leggings.

“SST,” said Masuo quickly, “We need SST.”

His father frowned at him. “I think Sayuri can tell me herself, thank you,” he turned to her and smiled gently, “Why do you want SST?”

“I—I don’t know what that is. Sorry, I didn’t mean to cause trouble. I didn’t know we were going here today.”

Ichirou nodded.

“She needs help. Today on the mission, I saw in her head, I saw, well I’m not sure, but I’m fairly sure it was her parents—”

“Okay, okay, calm down,” Ichirou put his hands up, “I think it’s best if I talk to Sayuri on her own. If that’s what you want, Sayuri-san?”

Sayuri wanted to go home. But she didn’t say that. Instead, she tried her best to smile.

“Um, they can stay.”

“So,” said Doctor Umeda, sitting down, pen and paper in hand, “Was this your first kill?”

“No,” she said lowly, “There was, one, one before.”

“Where was that?”

“Um, chuunin exams,” Sayuri took a deep breath, “A year ago.”

“Right,” he said, writing some things down. “And both of these times, you see your parents?”

“Yeah. But it was only for a moment. I just got a bit scared, that’s all.” She made a conscious effort to relax her hands. She was fine now.

“Would you mind telling me what happened with your parents?”

Sayuri bit her lip and looked across at Mayumi, who gave her a reassuring smile. Then she looked towards the window, at the grey rain making repetitive dashes from top to bottom.

“They were killed. Murdered.”

“Okay. This time, can you remember if it was better or worse than before? Did it affect you as much?”

“Um, better, I think. I feel fine now. Last time was...I think I felt bad for longer.”

Ichiro hummed and continued writing some things down. After a minute, he looked up at Sayuri.

“It’s normal to feel a bit shaken up after these things, especially the first couple of times. It’s likely it will get better with time. In the meantime,” he reached into a drawer in his desk, “We have this,” he produced a vial of bright purple liquid, “SST. Seishin tome. It detaches the mind from strong memories.”

Sayuri looked intently at the mesmerising deep purple inside the glass. Could the answer to all her troubles be stored inside this liquid? But detach the mind? What was that? Amnesia?

“So, it will make me forget my parents?”

“No, your memories will still be there. But it will suppress them, and cancel the emotional response associated with them. I know, it’s not the best thing, but unfortunately, we don’t have the resources for mental health services here. Give it a think over. I don’t want you making any rash decisions. And remember,” Ichirou pressed a leaflet into Sayuri’s hand, “this stuff is reserved only for emergencies. But I feel like it could help.”

She read through the leaflet that afternoon, legs propped up on the arm of the sofa, head resting against the other arm, absently-mindedly fiddling with a bag of boiled sweets Mayumi had insisted on buying for her. Before she knew it, she had popped one in her mouth and swallowed it dry. It became lodged in her throat and Sayuri choked while trying to pull herself into a sitting position, feeling her face grow warm.

Then a hand slapped her on the back, dislodging the sweet, and it flew out of her mouth, landing wetly on the carpet.

“Drink this.” A glass was placed to her lips, and she took it in her hands, taking greedy gulps of the liquid, as Tobi rubbed circles in her back.

“Better?”

Sayuri nodded, letting him take the glass from her, and leaned her head against him. 

He picked up the leaflet, and after a moment,“Sayuri,” he said quietly, “Why are you looking at this?”

“I just got it today, it’s meant to help with—”

“I know what it is.”

His tone was so sharp that Sayuri fell immediately silent, but when he sighed, and twirled her hair in his fingers, she asked, “So...do you think it’s a good idea?”

“I don’t recommend it.”

Then he was pushing her off the sofa, and saying,

“Does Sayuri-chan want something to eat? Tobi does! Tobi is so hungry!”

Sayuri let herself be dragged off by him, and as he fooled around, pretending to drop things, and burn himself on the pan, she felt herself sink into blissful laughter.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next arc is one of the hardest ones I’ve had to write and probably hard to read. It’s quite heavy stuff, sorry.


	17. Face

The houses on the quiet residential street looked uniform from a distance, the same off-white walls that appeared grey in the perpetual rain, the same sloping roofs. Yet if you were to venture closer, you would be able to see how each house was distinguished from its neighbour by the way the narrow space between the house and the road was ornamented. The inhabitants of the street would decorate their doorsteps with potted plants and small garden statues, bringing bright colours to the otherwise drab scene. 

“Just coming!” Came a girl’s voice from behind the door. It swung open a few moments later to reveal an older teenage girl, green hair in pigtails, “Oh, Sayuri-chan, hi!” Then Ria turned her head back into the house, “Hey Masuo, move your lazy butt, your teammate is here!”

Before Masuo came down, another teenage girl came to the door, clothed in pyjamas, eyes half-open. “Ria, you seen my purple top? You know, the one I got at Kasaten.” Then she blinked, and her eyes narrowed.

“Hey! Give that back, that’s mine!”

Sayuri had to jump out of the way sharpish, before she got caught in the middle of Mimi’s hand grabbing for Ria. They grappled, Mimi trying to pull the aforementioned top up and over her sister’s head, Ria resisting with cries of “You just left it on the floor, I didn’t know it was yours.”

“Yeah right you saw me buy it, why don’t you get your own.”

“Finders keepers.”

As Ria grabbed Mimi’s arm and sunk her teeth into it, eliciting a screech, Masuo came down the stairs. He looked askance at his sisters, and gestured for Sayuri to make it quickly out of the door.

She didn’t need to be told twice.

—

Silence. Sayuri treaded carefully, making her footfalls as soft as possible, trying to avoid disturbing small stones that would make a noise and alert her opponent to her location. She had become used to sensing where her enemies were, and although she still needed to work on those skills—a shinobi always had to improve, it was more important right now to work on her abilities of elusion.

“It’s all well and good you being able to spot the enemy, but no point if they can spot you so easily,” Masuo had said, “Maybe if you were a bit more quiet on missions.”

“I am quiet,” Sayuri had insisted. Although she had accepted his suggestion that he would help her work on the skills that she was apparently lacking.

It was on one of their first sessions, a month after Sayuri’s brief visit to the hospital, that Masuo had asked her about the SST. 

“Oh, I decided not to at the moment. But thank you.”

If Tobi didn’t want her to take it, she wouldn’t take it. It was simple. Still it wasn’t easy to forget how sharp his reaction had been to it. Did that mean he had tried it before?

“Is it because of what you see in Kiri? Because I know it is hard there. I wish I could help you. But doesn’t it make you feel better, to make them better—”

“Sayuri.”

“—No, not make them better, I mean make their lives better. I wish I could do more. And I feel better when I help people you know, so I hope, well I’m sure you do too. I know it is hard, especially for you, because well I think my missions are hard, so what you are doing must be really hard. I’m not, I’m not stupid—”

“Sayuri.” 

“I know that things are hard for us. I mean for shinobi. I mean, I’m not, I know life isn’t all nice things. But I had a mission, just last week, and I, it was better this time Tobi, because I didn’t get upset—”

“Sayuri.”

“—And well I’m just saying, they think, my sensei thinks, not now, but maybe in a year, I can take the exam for jounin, if I keep progressing as I am, so maybe, one day, I could, if you let me—”

“Sayuri, will you just be quiet for a moment.”

“—Oh...Sorry.” She bit her lip.

Then there was a sigh, and Tobi beckoned her towards him and pulled her into a hug.

—

Now, Sayuri was three metres from Masuo—he was hiding behind the bins. Slowly, she stalked him from the rooftop, keeping low so that he wouldn’t see her if he happened to glance upwards. She inched closer, and closer, her movement but shadows dancing through the rain.

“Hyaah!” she cried, and jumped down on him from above. She had done it! All without getting spotted once!

Then the clone poofed away.

She could only pout as Masuo came out of his hiding place and laughed at her.

“That was a mean trick and you know it,” Reika remonstrated. It was often that someone else came and joined them on these training sessions, to share tips and spar together. And “To stop you two from killing each other,” Ezume had joked.

“I’d never want to kill Masuo though!”

Ezume had shook his head and told her it was just a turn-of-phrase, which of course, Sayuri knew already. However, Ezume had been preoccupied with family problems as of late, so it was mainly Reika, or the other ninja their age who joined them.

Mayumi hadn’t come at all lately.

“Of course I still like Masuo! But it was never...we were never...we are just friends, that’s all.”

“Yeah, tell your new boyfriend that,” Reika muttered under her breath.

Mayumi went scarlet. “Well, it’s...it’s difficult.”

—

“Oranges! There you go.” Tomoya emptied the sack onto the table, unleashing the small mountain of fruits onto the worn wooden surface, most of them bouncing off and onto the floor. 

Irori, carrying a bowl of rice stepped to the side to avoid one, as it rolled and ended in a corner of the room.

“Oh my!” she laughed, “What’s this? Well, I sure hope you’re going to pick those up Aoki-san. We can’t grow them here. Not the right climate.”

Team Tomoya would often return to the farm where they had the mission as genin, and would always get a warm welcome. They had learned on this visit, after Tomoya had returned on a diplomatic mission to the Land of Hot Water, that Nishida senior had passed. The last time, he was getting sick, and his eldest daughter, Irori, confessed she didn’t know if he would make it through this time.

“This time?”

‘Well, he had the same a few months ago, and we thought it was the end. Then he got better, and was okay for a few weeks. Still, no use worrying about it is there. We’ve got a farm to run. And I’ve got Masashi now to help me.”

Masashi was Irori’s new husband. He was tanned and well built, a real country man.

“Ooh, I wish we were in some sunny place,” Irori confessed, sharing a cup of barley tea with Sayuri and watching Masashi turn the soil through the doorway, “I want to see his muscles as he works the field.”

Sayuri smiled.

“You doing alright lately, Sayuri-chan?”

“Yeah, I’m fine. Just some missions are hard, you know.”

“Well,” said Irori, “I don’t really know much about being a shinobi, but you’re always welcome here. If you want a cup of tea or some place to stay the night.”

Her brother, Nabe, came up to them, “Are you going to help Irori, or just stand there. These cabbages won’t grow themselves you know.”

“Yes they do, they’re cabbages,” Irori muttered under her breath. Then she sighed, set her mug down and apologised to Sayuri before moving outside.

—

Sayuri hadn’t sparred properly with Tobi for months. He had claimed he was busy. Sayuri wanted to know exactly what he was busy with, but she didn’t press it. Things must be hard.

This time, he had agreed to fight with her and she swiftly dived away from his attack, whilst forming the hand signs for her water dragon jutsu.

The water dragon appeared, rising out of the puddle left over from an earlier attack, but she could not stabilise it and it quickly dissipated. Then she blocked his right hook and her hand was reaching out to touch his mask, but it passed through nothing and she stumbled to her knees.

She sighed, because she was never enough to defeat him and never would be. 

She got up and turned around, planning to ask him if she could rest a bit before he started up the match again.

Then she stopped, and the words died in her throat.

There he was, unmasked, standing right in front of her.

She had expected him to be old. Uchiha Madara was old. 

This man was young, a sharp nose and chiseled jaw, and thin lips. The face was young and handsome, yet at the same time, it was worn, as if it had seen too many things. His left eye was closed, covered by strands of his black hair. Of course, he was blind in that eye—no wonder the mask only had one eye hole. And one side of his face was covered in scars, as if someone had taken a knife to it and drawn deep lines into his skin. That surprised Sayuri the most. Who could have done this? Who could have hurt the man that was invincible? It did nothing to take away from the beauty of his face however.

But then Sayuri realised she was staring, and felt her cheeks warm as she quickly looked away.

His tone was accusatory, “You’re the one that wanted to see.”

Her eyes flicked back to him, and upon seeing his face, Sayuri felt her stomach drop. His expression was full of loathing. Obviously, he was worried about his appearance. But he shouldn’t be.

She lifted her hand up cautiously, and closed the gap between them, a finger lifting to trace a scar, feeling the slight bump between the smooth skin. 

“What are you doing?”

She stepped away, turning her gaze to the floor, letting the hand drop to her side. “Nothing. I thought…” Then she dared to look up at him again. Perhaps seeing his facial expressions only complicated things, because she imagined seeing a glimpse of pain before the mask was replaced, and she was left wondering when she could see that handsome face again.


	18. Countermand

When Mayumi confessed that she was seeing someone, all sheepish smile and flushed cheeks, the news came as no surprise. Those two had always been very close, it was bound to happen sooner or later.

“Anyway, his name is Kenzo,” Mayumi said, twirling a curl around her finger, “he works at the convenience––” 

“Wait, what?!” Reika blurted out, “Who the hell is he? Whatever happened to Masuo?”

“Masuo? What’s he got to do with it? We’re just friends. Anyway, as I was saying, before I was so rudely interrupted,” Mayumi said pointendly, “He works at the convenience store. On the corner, near the shrine.”

“Oh, so he’s not a ninja then, a civilian?” Sayuri asked.

“Yes, you’ll have to meet him sometime.”

It was to be a few months before Sayuri was to be introduced to Kenzo—although she did catch sight of Mayumi holding hands with a dark haired boy as she made her way home one day. That evening, she found herself holding her own hands and imagining it to be someone else’s. His mask had been left on the kitchen side, so she traced the flame like pattern with her finger. After she had confessed to him quietly, that she didn’t mind him without it, he would leave it off for periods at a time, when they were alone together. She wondered if there was anything to it, and her heart would swell at the thought.

“Sayuri? Dinner is ready.” She was brought out of her daydreaming, and looked up to see Tobi staring at her, a plate of food on the table behind him. 

When she sat down to eat, he took the seat opposite, seemingly in deep thought.

“Don’t you want anything?”

“I’m not hungry.”

“Oh,” was all she said, and resumed eating, only to be struck with worry when his brow suddenly furrowed, and a look of pain crossed his features before he put his head in his hands. Hesitantly, she reached a hand out to him, only for it to be caught in a bruising grip, while he glared at her with his sharingan.

“Don’t touch me,” he hissed, and let go of her arm, pushing it back towards her.

Sayuri blinked and swallowed, looking steadfastly at the curry on her plate and biting down hard on her lip. 

There was a sigh, and out of the corner of her eye she saw him stand up, and move away from the table.

“Sayuri.” His voice was soft, apologetic.

She cautiously lifted her gaze toward him, feeling relief when she saw his sharingan had deactivated, his expression contemplative. When he moved closer to crouch down by her, the tightness in her chest grew to bursting. She waited, a smile on her face, ready for him to run his hands through her hair and bring her face close to his. 

He patted her on the head, saying, “Eat up.”

Then he rose and left.

—

With everyone’s different missions and assignments, it was hard to find days to meet up with her friends. It was much easier in the academy days, when they had a set schedule, and even in their genin teams it seemed that they had much more free time. Although, that may have been due to the fact that their jounin instructors wanted the time off for themselves, rather than for the benefit of the genin. There was no reason Sayuri couldn’t have taken more days off for herself at present. She didn’t have to take every mission going. But she didn’t want anyone to think she wasn’t capable. And also, she would admit quietly to herself, when she was lying awake under a canvas roof, it was best to keep busy. If she was busy, she wouldn’t think. If she didn’t think, she wouldn’t think about him, and then all the silly notions she was having wouldn’t cross her mind.

When Sayuri did get time to see her friends, it was often spent at sleepovers around Mayumi’s house, where the three teenage girls chatted over board games. Sayuri, who had upcoming exams, had very responsibly brought her study notes with her and then tossed them to the side as the evening progressed. 

“So have you, um,” Sayuri bit her lip, “Have you, kissed?”

Mayumi went bright red, and squeaked out a “Yes,” then hid her face behind a pillow, holding on to it tight as Reika tried to prise it off of her.

“What’s it like?” Sayuri asked eagerly, leaning forward.

“It’s, you know, it’s nice.”

Sayuri wanted to say, “No I don’t know, because you won’t tell me,” but that would have been mean, and it wasn’t Mayumi’s fault that Sayuri was only really interested for her own selfish reasons of wanting to get some prior knowledge before the real thing. It would be a disaster, if, in her inexperience, she turned out to be not good enough.

Sayuri asked Mayumi more questions at a dinner at Reika’s family restaurant. They had just received word about a grant that would allow them to move close to the centre of town, near their original premises.

“So he asked you out, not the other way round?”

“Yeah, he offered to walk me home,” replied Mayumi, smiling.

“You think it often happens that way? The boy asks the girl?”

“Why, do you want me to ask you, Sayuri-chan?” Reika’s teammate, Taigen said, and winked.

“Oh, no, I’m fine.”

“Psssh,” Reika scoffed, “It wouldn’t work for me if girls had to wait to ask. I’d be so lonely. Not that I’ve found anyone yet. Poor me,” she put her hand to her head, making out as if to swoon, “I am so lonely, no-one to love Reika. But,” she straightened up, “If there was someone I liked, I would go right up and tell them.”

“Oh do you think that would be best?”

Reika shrugged. “Whatever suits you, I suppose.”

They did eventually meet Kenzo, when Reika and Sayuri joined the couple at the cinema. He seemed friendly, and looked nice enough, Sayuri supposed, but nothing like someone else. The film was the final part of a trilogy, starring Reika’s favourite actress, Ayumi. They had seen the first one shortly after graduating from the academy, and the second part when Sayuri was twelve.

Although Ayumi was certainly exceedingly beautiful, all thick curly hair and deep, dark eyes, Sayuri didn’t like her in the way Reika did. She had thought that the male co-star looked quite cute however, to the point that she bought a poster of him and stuck it on her bedroom wall. Although her fascination was short-lived and she took it down a few months later when she grew bored of it. 

She had been so young then. Sayuri was fourteen now, and was very grown-up and most certainly did not need help with packing for a mission when she had already done it countless times before.

“Don’t forget this,” he said, picking up her katana and holding it to her.

“I know that,” she replied curtly, snatching it away from him and placing it down on the bed. He said nothing, simply nodded to her, his expression guarded. 

Sayuri bit her lip, quietly continuing to fold and seal away her clothes from her position on the floor. She was conscious of Tobi staring at her, and ended up folding the same top three times, before giving up and tossing it to the side in frustration. 

He lowered himself to sit beside her, refolded the top and placed it on the floor in front of them.

“I just want to make sure you’re prepared,” he said quietly.

“I am prepared. I can do it myself,” she protested. “Is it because I failed my exam? Because it was just the written test, I just got a bit confused. I didn’t have enough time to study.”

He shook his head. “It doesn’t matter what rank you are.”

“Really? Because I thought you wouldn’t let me on missions with you until I had enough experience. Is that what this is? Are you going with me?” Her stomach churned at the prospect, and she turned to him to admire his profile, only to look at the floor again when he didn’t reply. “Oh, of course, that’s silly, I know you can’t come with me, there’s other people on the mission as well.”

When he put his arm around her to tuck her hair behind her ears, she felt a sudden desire for affirmation. “Tobi?”

“Mmm?”

“Do you like me?”

“What? Of course I like you, silly girl. Silly Sayuri-chan,” he patted her on the head. She ducked under his arm, and turned to face him.

“No but do you, do you...like me?”

He stared at her intensely for a moment and Sayuri felt her heart jump into her throat, not daring to look away. She was brought into a gentle hug, before he sighed and said, “You be careful on this mission, okay?”

“I’m always careful,” she said against his shoulder. Then he was pushing her away, none too gently, and Sayuri felt a chill as she caught sight of Zetsu watching them from the doorway.

—

Getting into the hideout had been easy enough. It was simply a matter of patience, locating one of the known members of the drug cartel they had received in the mission brief; tracking their movements to find the secret rendezvous; waiting for the perfect opportunity to strike. As she stalked along the perimeter of the base, observing the entrances and goings-on of the people inside, Sayuri’s anger grew. Children should be at school or playing outside with their friends. They shouldn’t have tired, dirty faces, coughing into the clouds of gas made by whatever fertiliser they used, stumbling under the weight of the huge bags, being beaten when they fell.

“It’s sodakyu,” came the whisper of Kuze, one of the three young shinobi she was with.   
“It makes the plants grow faster quick. But it’s uh, poisonous, I guess.”

“Oh,” said Sayuri, and nodded, keeping her expression plain.

When she confronted the leader of the operation about the children, he just shrugged and said, “They were dying on the streets anyway. Doing them a favour.” It was all she could do to give them a merciful death, plunging her blade into their stomach. She regretted it immediately afterwards, but there were other people that had been left alive to get information from. They breathed not a second too long, however.

Sayuri addressed the children, who whispered amongst themselves and looked warily between the strangers and the bodies of the slain. 

“You can go home now.”

They didn’t move. Just stood and stared at her with wide eyes.

“You can go home. You’re free.”

There was only silence.

“Do you know where your home is? Can you remember?”

“This is our home. We are in home.”

Sayuri bit down so hard on her lip she tasted blood. 

“Captain?”

Sayuri looked past her own anger at the situation. She couldn’t get too emotional and ruin things. She would show him, just how capable she was.

“Leave food packs, whatever you have. We’ll head straight back and let them know what’s going on.” In her mind she was going to demand that all the children would have safe homes to go to. And if there were any other places like this...she clenched her fist tight, nails leaving marks in the skin.

Sayuri set a brisk pace heading back to the village. So caught up in her thoughts was she, that she didn’t notice the oppressive chakra until it was almost on top of her.

He was a giant of a man, all pointy teeth and strange blue skin, and a way of talking like he was always finding something amusing.The four of them were immediately trapped by his Water Prison jutsu, and though Sayuri tried to manipulate the water herself to use against him, it was no good.

The first one, he tightened the ball of water and drowned them, and Sayuri could only watch as they flailed wildly, their expression absolute terror, before they became very still.

The second one, he cut up with his monstrous blade, their skin in ribbons, screaming until the last breath. 

The last one, the teeth of the blade sunk into their shoulder, and their chakra was sucked from their body until the empty shell fell into the dirt.

Then she was released from the watery cage, and the giant turned to her, sporting a toothy grin.

“Run.”

It may have been just a cruel game to prolong her death, but this was her only chance. Sayuri ran full pelt, her throat painfully tight, the blood rushing in her ears, her head growing heavy. She ran and ran, heart thumping, eyes streaming, limbs aching. And the giant had almost caught her, there was no way out.

Then she was held by a familiar warmth. 

He had come after all. She should have felt angry to think that he had been following her, she wanted to be grown-up, to show how mature and sensible she was. She could do it on her own.

It didn’t matter. He was here, and she was glad of his comforting presence as she sobbed against him. He brought them home in a matter of seconds.  
—

She didn’t have it. This had been the final chance, planning for a mission where she wasn’t with her friends (it wouldn’t do for her to be so distraught she couldn’t even give her powers to him), approaching the newly exiled Kisame as the Madara who worked the Mizukage from the shadows, asking him to do this one little job before he joined the Akatsuki. It had all come to nothing. All his work, it had been a waste of time. 

Zetsu would say, “I told you so.”

But no matter, best to focus on the plan. The little girl had only been a whim. A pity, really. He had been growing fond of her.

Ugh, what was he saying? No, she was just a distraction in this hell. So as he kept one arm against her shoulders, a carefully constructed action that would stimulate her ingenious fantasies that he actually cared about her, the other hand reached into the time-space, feeling for a handle to curl his fingers around.

It would be quick, painless. He could afford small mercies at least. Not that it mattered, not really, whether one more silly girl would meet her end screaming, but why break the illusion at the final act? So he felt his fingers grasp the handle of a blade, and slowly pulled it out of the other dimension.

“Tobi,” she said, in that small, delicate voice of hers, “Please…”

He stilled. May as well let her say some final words. “You have to save them. Please, help me save them.”

Inside, he rolled his eyes at her irritating babble. He most certainly did not feel the slightest bit of sympathy, and the careful, gentle voice he used was all just an act.

“They’re already dead. We can’t do anything.”

“But, the children…” She lifted her head, her face stained with tears, her green eyes glassy. “We have to save them,” she hiccupped, and fresh tears rolled down her cheeks.

He really should just get it done with.

He should.

“Please.” Finally, her eyes locked with his, and the look she gave him would be enough to break his heart, if he still had one.

That night he would slam the head of a clone into the ground, cursing it for not being Madara. There was no Obito, no sentimental idiot that couldn’t bear to see the girl cry. Obito was dead. Rin was dead. And she was going to stay dead if you keep letting yourself being distracted like that, you fool.

For now, he would continue to play the game. He let go of the sword, making sure it fell silently into the other dimension, and brought his hand up to her hair to run it possessively through her locks.

“Shh, everything will be alright.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's so much fun to write about hormonal teenagers, especially ones with trauma-free childhoods and healthy relationships, wahey.


	19. Uchiha Madara

Tobi said that everything would be alright, and for a while, it was so. The first night, after he had brought her home, and let her stay a while in his embrace (he wasn’t holding her quite like she wanted him to hold her, but he was at least holding her, so she supposed that would have to do for now), he had eventually pulled away, and left abruptly, saying he had “Things to do.”

Sayuri had cried a while more after that, not least because Tobi still wasn’t telling her things, which must mean he didn’t see her as the mature, grown-up person she was, but still a silly little girl, which was her own fault really, if only the mission could have gone better, and she could have protected her team. Oh, what was going to happen? What was she going to say to tell their families? That she, by some miracle, escaped, and they didn’t? That wasn’t fair. She should have been with them now, it was only that she was very lucky and had someone to rescue her. Sayuri found herself wishing that he hadn’t come to rescue her, now he would think she couldn’t do anything by herself. But she could. And, oh no, she was being selfish again, after everything he had done. Although, really, couldn’t he have come a little earlier, and saved her teammates as well? But that wasn’t very fair either, she was sure Tobi would have come and helped if he could.

So she cried all the more, until a few hours later, when she sensed his return, and looked up to see him frowning down at her.

She tried to explain what was wrong, noting how his frown became more pronounced.

“But what are people going to think? How am I meant to explain how I got away and they didn’t?”

“Look. I will sort it out. You will stay inside for a few days and rest.”

“Okay,” she sniffed, but she could feel her bottom lip jutting out in a pout.

She didn’t need to rest. And what about the children as well?

“I told you, I will sort it.”

Sayuri didn’t so much rest as she did train, asking any available person to spar with her, namely Pain and Konan. The former, gave a disappointing, but not unexpected, “No thank you.”, but Konan did agree to go a few rounds with her, and Sayuri noted, to her delight, she was able to get a few hits against the kunoichi, which was more than could be said for someone else. Although Konan was sadly absent for the rest of the time, and Sayuri had to make do with her own company, even going so far as to start reviewing the handbook for the jounin exam. She did fleetingly consider seeking out Zetsu, who she caught lurking meanly in a corner, but concluded that he was best left well alone.

After a very long two weeks, she was greeted by the smell of pancakes as she awoke, and ran down in her slippered feet to greet him, flinging her arms around him. For a moment, his embrace was warm, but then he abruptly tensed up, and Sayuri disentangled herself to look up at the mask, which was staring stoically ahead. 

“What’s wrong?”

“Nothing,” came the reply in a sharp tone that said ‘No questions.’ Although he did tell her that he had arranged things to explain her miraculous escape.

She hesitated for a moment, then proceeded to ask about the children, after all this wasn’t a question about him, this was her business as well.

“They’re all safe, right?”

“Yes, I found an orphanage for them, they’re safe.” 

Afterwards, Sayuri pranced down the hallway with a spring in her step anxious to catch up with her friends, and hoping that there would be no questions about the careful lies Tobi had told her to repeat. Of course she couldn’t have done anything. She was lucky to escape with her life, and even luckier to have found the home of a healer near the western border. 

As it was, everyone seemed more concerned about how she was feeling, and was very understanding when she deflected commentary with a “Don’t want to talk about it.” Although Sayuri couldn’t help but feel acutely aware of the way her stomach dropped when Masuo asked her if she was sure he didn’t want him to check her over, followed by him giving her a thoughtful stare when she refused. 

Sayuri knew that Tobi was right, and it was all for the best, but it would be nice, just for once, not to have all these secrets. She was not a child anymore. Why couldn’t he have at least told her where he was going? He could trust her. She mulled over these thoughts in her head as she practically stomped back, splashing grey water up her legs.

—

Obito sat up in a tree overlooking Konoha, watching the coming and goings of the village with bored interest. How mundane everything seemed. How quiet. Little did anyone know that they were on the edge of disaster. Tonight, things would change irrevocably. Obito was never particularly close to his clan, although he didn’t harbour any animosity towards them. He was a simple, stupid child then. It was best for him to project that ostracisation, and feel the hatred that Madara felt. That he felt. Of course, Danzo lapped up the show, and he only had to drop a few carefully worded hints to have the old man spill all his secrets about what he knew about the sharingan.

Then, for a horrid, fleeting moment, he thought about the many deaths that would be on his hands. How many already were. What was he doing? How could he do something like this? What would she do if she found out? No, he was Uchiha Madara. He was doing the right thing. Only he could bring the world to peace.

“Having second thoughts?” Came the voice of Zetsu, a humoured lilt in the tone.

“About what,” Obito snapped, not turning to him.

“I could have done it, you know, if you’re not up to the task. I would have ripped out her heart.”

Obito’s own heart skipped a beat as he had a sudden image of her mutilated body bleeding out in the rain, her fine features still and pale. Outwardly, he ignored him.

“But really? An orphanage? **What kind of game are you playing at?** You like her, don’t you?”

He let his lips curve into a cruel smirk underneath the mask. “That’s what I want her to think.” 

**“She’s not here to be liked. She doesn’t have it. She will have to go.”**

“Oh, I’m sure I can make some use of her.”

The boy was only a few months younger than her, but they were so far apart in demeanour. She was talkative, frustratingly stubborn, and sweet. Itachi was an adult already, quiet and reserved, far wiser than his years. Wait? Was he crying? It didn’t really matter. What did he care?

Maybe they weren’t so different at all. Zetsu’s words replayed in his mind and Obito had a sudden impulse to go to her, to see if she was okay.

She was laying on the sofa, ankles resting on one arm, striking red hair draped over the other. A book in one hand, sucking the chocolate off of a stick of pocky. She was safe. 

He fell on his knees by her, panting. Thank the gods.

She was suddenly alert to his arrival and looked suitably startled, the pocky stick dropping from her mouth. He must have looked a sight. At least his mask was in place, so he couldn’t see the anguish on his face, and he could pretend easier. 

“What’s wrong?” Her hand hovered uncertainly, a few inches from the mask.

“Nothing.”

She pouted in that way of hers, but then her face fell, and her hand dropped. “Oh, okay…” She bit her lip, “Is there anything I can do to help?”

His mind was taken back to long ago when someone else cared for him, and damn her, for trying to make his heart feel something. What the hell was he doing? She was only a tool. A soldier. The only reason she lived was that he saw no point in letting a good soldier go to waste.

She was nothing.

“Be prepared for your next mission,” he said, and returned to the other dimension.  
  
—

Sayuri thought there must have been some kind of mistake when she received the folder for the next mission. A solo mission was unheard of for a chuunin, especially one of this calibre, but when she questioned it, the officer, Shimamoto, simply shrugged and said,

“Don’t ask me about it. Orders from higher up.” He picked up a piece of paper from the   
several sheets littering his desk to look at it.

“From higher up?”

There was a pause as Shimamoto continued to read, making hums of approval to himself.

“Yes,” he said eventually, moving the sheet to a steadily growing pile, “they specifically requested you.”

“Me? Oh, okay then. Thank you.”

Not having to leave until the next day, Sayuri headed to the Hirayama restaurant. According to Reika, her parents were intending to move in a couple of months or so. She arrived to see her friends huddled around a table, whispering conspiratorially over something lying in the middle. Reika popped her head up, and grabbed Sayuri by the arm, pulling her in.

“Hey Yukio-kun,” she addressed her white-haired teammate, “Move over. Let Sayuri have some space.”

The boy looked up, confused, before he saw Sayuri and did as was requested, stepping a few inches to the left. Now safely in the circle, Sayuri got her first look at whatever it was that had got her friends attention so.

It was the morning’s paper, the words ‘UCHIHA MASSACRE’ staring up at her.

No. It couldn’t be. The whole clan. Did that mean...surely, it didn’t mean? He had seemed very distressed, the last time she saw him. When was it again? Tuesday. The very same day. 

She vaguely heard Mayumi calling her name. “Are you alright? You’re white as a ghost.”

Sayuri took a step back from the table.

“I...I don’t feel so well. I need to go.” With that, she turned on her heel, and set off on a run.

She arrived, panting, to come face to face with Zetsu who seemed to pop out of the ground just as soon as she arrived back. There was no time to think about that now.

“Where’s Tobi? I’m worried about him.”

**“Oh are you now?”** Zetsu’s grin was predatory.

“He’s okay isn’t he?”

Zetsu barked a short laugh. “Don’t you worry Sayuri-chan, he’ll be okay.”

Sayuri was not reassured by and spent the rest of the day fretting, whilst still trying to mentally prepare herself for the mission ahead. She could do it. She would make Tobi proud. 

Then he was there in the room with her, and she looked up with a smile. He was safe.

“Tobi! You’r—”

Something was wrong. His hair had been cut short, and the eyes that glared at her were burning red.

Sayuri’s heart was in her mouth.“Wh-where did, where did you get that eye?”

The voice he replied with was harsh and authoritative. “They would have destroyed themselves anyway.”

“Who? What do you mean?”

  
Sayuri had often wished he would smile at her, and sometimes, when she said something unintentionally funny, his lips would quirk with amusement. But this smile was cruel, and cold. “Don’t be stupid. You know who. You saw today’s paper, did you not? Oh, don’t look at me like that, if they hadn't been removed, they would have dragged the whole country into war. You don’t want that, do you?”

“No, Tobi-san.”

His hand darted out and clenched around her neck. “My name...is Uchiha Madara.” Then he released her from his grasp, leaving Sayuri to tremble before him.

  
“Sorry, Madara-sama. But, but why couldn’t you, why couldn’t you help them? You did that last time with the children.”

“That?” He scoffed, “That was so you would shut up about it.”

“You…” Sayuri choked back a sob, “Did you? All of them? But why? I thought,” now Sayuri’s shoulders heaved as the first tears fell, “I thought. You said peace.”

“In this world? Did you really think it would be attainable in this hell? You really are stupid.”

Stupid. He had never called her that before. No. Not stupid. She wasn’t stupid.

But she must be.

Sayuri collapsed onto the bed, sobbing. This must be a dream. This must be a very powerful genjutsu he was using with his new sharingan. One she couldn’t escape.

“Would you stop fucking crying, you’re irritating me.”

“Sorry.” If she apologised quickly, he wouldn’t be so mad. It’s what she had to do with them.

“Hey now,” for a moment his voice was soft again, as he crouched down by the bed, “Don’t worry, not everyone has to die. I will create a world where there will be no sickness. No pain.”

Then he told her of the Tsuki no Me and the perfect world, and though she was horrified when she heard it, 

“But that’s a dream. It’s not real.”

He made her swear to help him obtain it. So she did. She would do anything for him.

—

They looked to be a simple, woodcutter family, the old man, the young woman, and the boy child, living outside of a hut in the Land of Fire. Sayuri watched them as a silent shadow. She could see the small boy playing out in the trees by the house, brandishing a fallen stick. The boy was almost a prince. An heir to a throne in the western countries. The missive said that if the family knew of the heritage there would be a war.

If it had been before she would have thrown a tantrum, and argued about finding another way to solve the problem. She could hardly believe that one small child could truly be responsible for a war, but it wasn’t her place to say. She had to do this mission. She had to. 

She cut their throats and wept.

When she arrived home, tired and hungry, the masked man fell at her feet and took her shaking hands in his.

“You’re okay, you’re safe.” Then he tore away from her as if burned, “I guess you can do something right after all.”

So it continued in this way, with mission after mission, about a week in length, sometimes more. Always the same, grisly job. Always alone. When she did have time to meet her friends, she couldn’t help but apologise and beg them not to abandon her.

“Oh for goodness sake, we’re not going to stop being your friend, We know you’re busy,” snapped Mayumi.

“That wasn’t very nice,” Reika huffed, “Go and play with your boyfriend.”

“How dare you. I make time for us to be together, and that’s the thanks I get.”

Sayuri stayed quiet. 

“Yeah, well then what was that the other day about you backing out of our mission together? What was stopping you?”

“He’s just worried I would hurt myself,” Mayumi defended, “Because he’s my boyfriend and he cares about me.”

“So you would not do your job, not meet your friends then, huh? Sayuri-chan, don’t you think it’s not very nice of Mayumi, shunning her friends for some boy?”

“Um, I don’t know.” She didn’t want to lose her friends too.

After the third mission, it suddenly clicked that they were tied somewhat to the Akatsuki, hence the files that even Shimamoto wasn’t allowed to read. When she asked Tobi, no, Madara, he merely scoffed and said,

“You’d like to think you were so important wouldn’t you. Why would you be? You are nothing. She was everything. You are just a stupid little girl.”

Sayuri stood still, her vision blurring to bright orange. The saccharine of the colour would have suited him when he was being playful and goofy, but was a stark contrast to the coldness of Madara. Obviously he was right, her teachers in her old village were right all along.

“I told you to stop fucking crying.”

—

She grasped the vial of purple liquid with trembling hands, and with a definite jerk, injected the drug into her skin.

Sayuri lay back and let herself go numb.

Better to be in a dream than this hell.

Everything was all wrong.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I’m sorry :(


	20. Break

It had been three months. Three months since Sayuri had heard about Madara’s great plan, and she had learned the truth about the world.

Her most recent mission led her to the Temple of  _ Doragon-Shinzou _ , located far south in the Land of Rivers. The monks numbered 14, her highest yet. When the last body fell, thumping against the stone floor, she let loose a Water Wave and watched numbly as it intermingled with the blood and flowed down the temple steps. So much blood she thought she would drown it. She wouldn’t though, not really. If she would, she would like to go to the beach that Tobi brought her to all those years ago.

Tobi. He wasn’t here anymore. Only Madara, who wouldn’t even talk to her. When he came to meet with Pain and Konan, he wouldn’t even acknowledge her existence. The closest she got to an interaction was when Konan asked if she was okay. Of course, she was fine. Why wouldn’t she be. Konan nodded, seemingly placated, but then Sayuri heard her talking to Madara, who seemed to glare at Sayuri when he exited the room.

She stood on top of the gilded building, watching the yellow light of dawn crest over the horizon, glistening off of the waves of the sea in the distance. Her birthday. She fumbled in her sleeve for the purple drug, poking it into her bony arm with grim satisfaction. She didn’t get it from the hospital of course, she wasn’t that stupid, but there were back-alley traders, and under-table deals, if you had the money. One good thing that came out of all the missions Sayuri had been on recently.

Sayuri let out a deep breath, already feeling the drug taking effect. SST was intuitive, and seemed to know what kind of thoughts she wanted to suppress. The first time, she thought of Tobi, but it was like she didn’t know him at all, and she wanted to keep her memories of him at least, and she didn’t need a drug to make him a stranger.

It was no use dwelling on that. Needed to focus on the current mission. She hoped that the ration pill she had consumed was enough. She couldn’t remember the last time she ate a proper meal, existing off of food pills and instant noodles. It would take her a full day to get back, and she had consumed the pill, about two days ago? Probably.

She did not panic about the tight time constraint, as she sped through the meadows and marshes that made up most of The Land of Rivers. No, she felt very blasé about the whole thing. Her body seemed to glide over the streams. Maybe she would make it back in time, maybe she wouldn’t. It didn’t really matter, though, did it? She thought she saw a familiar looking trader on the way, but couldn’t be sure.

Her ribbon fell off, letting her hair flow loose, and she stood and watched as it floated downstream. The water was red and she could have drowned in it.

Then she was nearing Amegakure, and thought how nice it would be, just to have a nap, right there in the middle of the road.

She blinked again, spotting the figure of Ezume just in reach, keeping guard at his spot on the gate.

She fell to the ground.

—

The first thing Sayuri was aware of, as she found herself being slowly coaxed into consciousness, was the feel of cool sheets, and the firmness of an unfamiliar mattress underneath her. Then there was the soft murmur of voices, a warm light behind her closed eyelids, and she riled against it and tried to sink further into the comforting realm of unconsciousness. But the voices became clearer, more familiar, and she blinked to see a tiled grey ceiling staring down at her, a white light winking in the corner of her eye.

“Sayuri-chan, you awake?” Mayumi’s voice came from beside her.

Sayuri swallowed, taking a few seconds to find her voice. “Yeah...I think...I…” She struggled to sit up, pushing herself up with her hands, but her body was slow and unresponsive.

“Hey” Mayumi’s hand was on her shoulder, “Doctor says you should take it easy.”

“But I, I, er...I didn’t…” Sayuri protested, but let herself sink back into the pillows.

“How are you feeling?”

“Um...a bit, I don’t know...tired I guess…”

“Tired?” came Reika’s voice from her other side, then a thump, as if she had jumped down from something, “After you’ve been asleep all this time?” She sat down on the end of the bed, “I wouldn’t be tired if I’d been sleeping three days.”

Sayuri suddenly found the strength to sit bolt upright, to see that she was in a hospital room, “Three days! But I need, I need to file my mission!”

“Woah woah calm down! You need to get recovered first, you don’t need to be worrying about missions!”

“But I…” Sayuri’s chest felt suddenly felt tight, “I need to get back, I need—”

“Hey,” Came Mayumi’s comforting voice again from her position on the chair beside the bed, “What about if I read you some of my book?”

“Oh no,” Reika leapt up, “Not that. Sayuri doesn’t want to hear that nonsense.”

“It’s not nonsense,” Mayumi said, clearly affronted, “Konan-sama speaks very highly of Yamamu’s work. They are very interesting and influential to our life today,”

“Yes, well, but it doesn’t mean you have to read the whole damn book. Sayuri does not want to hear it, do you Sayuri-chan?”

“Um, I…”

Reika grinned, triumphant. “There you go, not interested.”

“Oh shush you,” Mayumi rolled her eyes, “Listen to this. The frog hopped along by the brook, dipping its toes—”

“Boooring!” Reika cut her off, “None of us want to hear your 1000 year old book, Sayuri even said so herself.”

“...I didn’t say…”

“Well, actually you did, “ Reika interjected, as Mayumi nodded agreeably, “You woke up a couple of times before. First time you were out of it, babbling complete nonsense, don’t ask me what, but it was some weird shit, second time, you opened your eyes, stared right at Mayumi while she was droning on about the inners of mediation in frog land or whatever it is, and you quite clearly told her to shut up.”

Sayuri felt her cheeks burn. ”Oh I didn’t mean, sorry, I—”

“It’s okay,” Mayumi smiled, “The important thing is you’re well.”

“Oh! The doctor said to let us know when you were awake. I’ll go fetch her.”

Reika came back a few moments later, bringing the doctor with her, who turned out to be Masuo’s mother, Umeda Madoka, a warm smile on her face.

“Hello, Tachimae-san, how are you feeling?”

"Um, a bit tired."

“I’m sure you are. Overuse of  _ Seishintome _ , plus military pills, not a good mix. Now, shall we talk about your diet?”

Somehow, Madoka had suspicions that Sayuri wasn’t eating well, which she vehemently denied, but grudgingly accepted being put on a strict diet plan while she recuperated in hospital. At least she would be energised before going back on .

“Well I don’t think you should be getting back to missions just now. In fact, I’ve made a personal recommendation to take you off active duty indefinitely, or at least until we can be sure you’re in good health.”

“But I feel fine!” Sayuri burst out, then bit her lip, “Sorry, I...okay…”

She spent another five days at the hospital, and passed the time with daily visits from her friends—it seemed that they would take turns to see her, and they were all being so kind, and patient, which was more than she deserved. Ezume even brought along his summon, Raku the otter, to keep her company. Masuo brought with him some academic workbooks, along with a copy of a knitting magazine, apparently at Tomoya-sensei’s behest. Sayuri thanked him profusely. If she couldn’t go on missions, at least she could make sure her theory was sound, she reasoned to herself, and then maybe someone wouldn’t think she was so stupid, and they would be happy. 

There was no harm trying.

The highlight was a late birthday party complete with a cake, and all her friends to see her. Almost all of her friends. Wait, yes, all of her friends. 

Soon, she was assessed well enough to leave, but instructed to come back for a check-up in a few days, and, from Reika, not to forget that the restaurant was opening tomorrow. Sayuri nodded, and feeling much more like her old self, almost skipped back home. She could sense Tobi as she entered, and for a moment she forgot herself and did not immediately try to shy away from him, in case he got mad. Then, for one blissful moment, he put her arms around her, and stroked her hair, but he stopped abruptly and pushed her away.

“So you can’t go on missions? What am I supposed to do with you now then?” He said, before dematerialising. Sayuri bit her lip, looking helplessly at the space where he had disappeared. Her gaze fell on Zetsu, his head sticking out of the ground, grinning at her in an unsettling way. 

The next day, after a night plagued with dreams of falling and being swallowed by numerous creeping vines, she made her way to the Hirayama restaurant, standing proudly in the middle of the village square. The front facade had just been completed the day before, a mock-up of a traditional building, echoing days past. The interior carried the same theme, with modern tables and chairs, but there were traditional wall hangings of flowers and mountain scenes waiting to be hung, and the tables were to be decorated with custom ikebana arrangements, which of course, was the job of Reika’s friends. It reminded Sayuri of her genin days, but it was much more relaxed. She laughed amongst her friends, and watched, bemused, as Reika’s parents couldn’t quite decide where to place a particular picture.

Afterwards they relaxed in the garden, with a bottle of wine procured by Reika from her parent’s secret supplies. Her plan seemed to be thwarted, when her 10 year old brother, Taro, took off with the bottle.

“Muuuum! Reika stole your wine!” He yelled.

“You little rat!” Reika screeched, running after him.

“Hmm? Well don’t let your brother have any dear,” Reika’s mum called from inside.

Reika stuck out her tongue triumphantly, and snatched the bottle back from her brother’s hands. “Thank you.”

Tomoya took up the seat beside Sayuri, knitting his scarf, “You alright these days?”

“Yeah, I’m good,” she smiled.

“Sleeping okay? You look tired.”

“Um, yeah, just had a bad dream last night.”

He nodded understandingly, then, “I’ve got something for you,” and promptly disappeared.

“Kenzo not coming?” Sayuri asked in his absence, wondering where Mayumi’s boyfriend was. 

“No, I don’t think he is,” said Mayumi, but she didn’t look all that unhappy about it. 

“Yeah good riddance,” said Reika, flicking the ash from her cigarette.

“Tell you later,” Mayumi mouthed to Sayuri’s inquisitive look.

“Tada!” Tomoya announced a couple of minutes later, making Sayuri jump. He placed a round bottle of something oddly purple looking on the table.

Sayuri looked dubiously at it. “What’s this?”

“It’s a drink,” supplied Tomoya, very helpfully.

“A drink?” She reached her hand towards it.

“Like a calming drink you know? Make you sleep better.”

“Oh, um that’s okay,” Sayuri said, retracting her hand, “Maybe I should check with the doctor first.”

Tomoya looked like he was about to say something, then seemed to decide against it. “No you’re absolutely right.” He put the bottle back in his pocket.

—

“You’re going to let a lot of customers, I think, Reika-chan,” said Sayuri later on.

“I do hope so. I mean, when we had to move, of course we got a lot of sympathy visitors, and our old patrons. But well, some of them we had before couldn’t really come visit back from the grave,” she took another drag of her cigarette, “and lately our customers dropped, so I think it’s best we’re being in a more prominent area. And we’re going to be in the paper of course, because of that grant money we got.”

“Sounds like Pain is buying support,” remarked Mayumi’s mentor, Toshiko.

“What’s that supposed to mean?” Reika frowned.

“Hanzo wouldn’t have let that happen, that’s all.”

There was hushed silence, as Reika full out glared at Toshiko-sensei, then,

“Reika! Reika! The man has come to take our photo!”

Reika gave a start and dropped her cigarette haphazardly into the ashtray, then jumped up, smoothing out her dress, “Do I look okay?”

“You look lovely,” Mayumi smiled, and Sayuri nodded.

“Oh, good,” Reika grinned, “Coming!”

Toshiko disappeared quite soon after that, and Mayumi seemed very quiet for a while, even when Reika came back, a huge smile on her face. Mayumi seemed to fidget as Reika told them all about her photoshoot, and how she was almost practically famous now.

“Reika-chan, you know Toshiko-sensei didn’t mean anything by what she said earlier, right?”

At that, Reika’s expression turned sour. “What did she mean then, hmm? I’d sure like to know!”

—

The paper the next day sported Reika’s family posing in front of their new restaurant, all beaming smiles, complete with an article talking about Amegakure on the rise, and some flattering words about their ‘Esteemed leader’ investing in the community and such. Reika took great pleasure in waving it in everyone’s faces. “There. See. Front page. I’m sure I’m going to get all sorts of requests for my autograph soon, just you wait.”

“Oh yes, Reika-sama, please, sign my kunai,” Taigen joked.

The ensuing laughter abruptly stopped as the crowd parted and two masked shinobi, part of Ame’s anbu division, strode through purposefully, stopping in front of Mayumi.

“You are Kamichou Mayumi, correct?”

“Yes.”

“Your instructor is Odaka Toshiko, correct?”

“Yes.”

“You are to come with us,” they said, and took hold of Mayumi by the arms.

It took a second for Sayuri to register what was happening then Mayumi was being dragged away before she could stop them, with Reika, who had gone deathly pale, saying,

“Wait, I didn’t mean, I didn’t mean her, you don’t need to take her.”

“Reika-chan, did you, did you...say something?” Sayuri asked, chest impossibly tight.

“I—I, I didn’t mean, I only said that Toshiko-sensei is a Hanzo loyalist, I didn’t mention Mayumi—”

“What have you done?!”

”I didn’t mean, it was a mistake, I—“

“Well then we have to take her back, tell them! Come on!” Sayuri grabbed Reika by the hand, and ran with her through the streets. Reika wasn’t as fast as Sayuri though, on top of which, she was crying, so rather than stalling to match her decreased speed, Sayuri made the decision to let go, and sped ahead towards the village prison.

She arrived just in time to see Mayumi being ushered inside, and tried to slip in after her.

A guard held her back. “Sorry ma’am, you cannot go in there.”

“But it was a mistake, it’s my friend,” Sayuri argued, and tried to duck under his arm. The guard was wise to her moves however, and stopped her again.

“If you don’t comply, we will have to take disciplinary action.”

“Hey,” said Masuo who had caught up with her, “Sayuri, leave it.”

“But they have Mayumi!” Sayuri protested, “They need to let her go. Masuo, do something!”

“Like what?” He snapped. Then more calmly, “We’ll just have to… hope that Pain-sama is merciful...What? Sayuri, where are you going?”

Ten minutes later, Sayuri was marching along the corridor towards Pain’s office, resolute on saving her friend. She sensed Tobi following her, but ignored him. He didn’t care anyway. She should have been an adult and politely asked for Mayumi’s release, or even begged, but there was no time, something horrible could be happening right this second, so she confronted Pain with the full intensity of her panicked state.

“Let her go!”

“I beg your pardon.”

“You let her go right now!” She launched herself at him, but found her movement suddenly halted by strong arms wrapped around her, and then the pull of her body being taken to the other dimension.

Tobi came through quickly afterwards, and she redirected her anger towards him, punching and kicking at him, screaming at him to let her out. He overpowered her easily though and pinned her to the floor, arms behind her back. There was the sound of the mask clattering as it was dropped, then his hot breath very close to her ear. 

“What the hell is wrong with you?” He hissed, “Do you want to get kicked out? Is that what you want?”

Sayuri lifted her head to glare at him, feeling the hatred roll off of her in waves.

”So what if I do?”

His expression changed from a mocking sneer to one of shock, as he relinquished the grip on her hands, and stood up. Then his expression went dangerously dark again, and Sayuri, still on the floor, leaned away from him.

Then she burst into tears. 

“Sorry, I’m sorry, I’m stupid, she said,” scrabbling backwards, “It’s just, I don’t, I don’t know what I did wrong, and I tried, I really did, but the— they’re so hard, and,” She swallowed, “And, I couldn’t see my friends, and now, now Mayumi’s going to… I’m sorry, I’m stupid, I..” She held her knees, the tears falling freely down her face. When she felt him near, she bit her lip to suppress her wails, feeling her throat constrict, and she braced herself for his punishment. For him to laugh cruelly and agree with her. Or would he be like her old teachers and become physical? Outside of that one farce of a battle when she was a child, he hadn’t laid a hand on her, but it would be inevitable. She deserved it after all.

“You’re not stupid Sayuri.” His voice was soft, gentle.

She wiped her tears on her sleeve. “What?”

“You’re not stupid. You never were.”

Sayuri chanced a glance at him, seeing him sitting on the floor himself. He didn’t look angry, nor irritated. He looked...sad. And beautiful. He never stopped looking beautiful.

“But you said…”

“I know what I said.” Then he clenched his jaw, and looked past her into nothing. Sadness and anger warred on his face, and she found herself wanting to reach out and take away the pain. But he wouldn’t like that, so she stayed where she was, arms meekly at her side. 

Then his eyes locked with hers and she felt again, the sudden urge to go to him, to hold him, but she couldn’t move. Then, his arms were around her, and he was her Tobi again, and she let herself sink into his embrace, taking in his scent, letting him stroke her hair and make soft shushing sounds to comfort her, telling her he was sorry, as she sobbed noisily against him.

“Why didn’t you want to see me?” She asked, when she was able to vocalise herself again.

He hesitated in answering, and for a moment Sayuri thought that he would tell her she would find out when she was older, or berate her for asking questions. But eventually he said, “I had grown to care about you too much. I didn’t want to care about you. The last person I cared for died.”

“Is that why you want to do  _ Tsuki no Me _ ? To bring them back?”

“That’s part of the reason, yes.”

She looked up at him to see that he was staring into the distance, and cautiously put her hand against his top, feeling his chest rise and fall in line with his breathing.Then he turned to her, his gaze apprehensive, and she let the hand fall away.

“Your friend, which one is it?”

“Mayumi.”

“Okay,” his thumb brushed away the tears still left to fall, “I’ll see what I can do.”

“Thank you. I’m sorry I wasn’t able to do all the missions well. I’ll train better, I’ll work more, I’ll—“

A finger was pressed to her lips, and when he moved it away, she asked,

“Am I really going to get thrown out? 

“No, no, you’re fine.”

Sayuri wondered if anything was ever going to be fine again.


	21. Divine mercy

After a few more content minutes of staying in his embrace, the quiet complemented by the gentle sounds of their breathing, the tranquility of the moment was ended by Tobi gently pulling Sayuri off of him and taking them out of the time-space, reemerging inside her bedroom. He had her sit on the bed, before he knelt down to speak to her.

“I’m going to talk to Pain okay, you stay here.”

Sayuri nodded mutely. She wasn’t really sure if talking to Pain would make a difference, but she wouldn’t be able to say no to Tobi either, lest she break the fragile ties of their rekindled friendship. She must have unintentionally shown her thoughts on her face, because his unmasked one showed concern, and he took her hands in his.

“Sayuri? Are you okay?”

“...Yeah,” she replied, hoping to sound convincing. She wasn’t sure if she was okay or if she would ever be, but she couldn’t help but notice how her heart beat faster at the feel of their joined hands. Even after all that happened, it seemed he still made butterflies move in her stomach.

He looked down almost absently at where they were connected, then, as if he had just noticed it, hastily let go. The mask was produced out of nowhere, replaced, and he left.

Now all Sayuri could do was wait and hope Tobi could work miracles.

At first she just sat on her bed listening to the constant drumming of the rain against the window, but her mind readily strayed to dark thoughts, so for something to stave off the boredom, (Or dread. Or both.) she settled on the paperback left on her bedside table. A teenage romance novel of saccharine fluffiness that Sayuri liked. Or used to like. She wasn’t sure about that anymore. Sayuri enjoyed the particular book because it was simplistic, and easily digestible, without the long-winded sentences or confusing words. With more academic texts she found herself distracted and had to reread the same sentence several times before she got the correct meaning. This one she had apparently made fair progress with, finding her bookmark wedged between the pages at the last quarter of the book. However, it was not easy to pick up where she had left off, having quite forgotten the narrative, so she decided to start again from the beginning. She could only manage a couple of pages though before her worry about the situation got too much.

It wouldn’t hurt to investigate, would it?

She wasn’t going to put her ear up to the door and listen, not by any means. She wasn’t a child anymore, and wouldn’t be caught performing those sorts of pranks, but it was okay to wait for him, wasn’t it?

She stationed herself in the hallway, studying the shadows, as if there were something in them, some magic word to utter, to make it all alright.

When Zetsu appeared out of the ground, catching her by surprise as he always did (she could never get a fix onto his chakra, in fact she had a funny feeling he didn’t have any proper chakra at all), she felt an odd chill and an urge to run away, but she stood her ground, looking him past him in feigned aloofness.

Go on then. Make the bad situation worse.

**“What are you doing here?”**

Sayuri felt her courage shrivel, but managed to say, with some degree of firmness, “I’m waiting for…” then her bravado all but dissipated, as she hesitated over the ending of her sentence. Who was he really? She wasn’t sure anymore. She finished with a quiet, “Tobi.”

**“Tobi?” **Zetsu didn’t seem all that pleased with the answer, so Sayuri shrank into the wall, hoping for the shadows to make their claim, and to protect her from the monsters haunting her dreams.

When he emerged, only a few seconds, yet also half a lifetime later, the mask seemed to survey the situation before he stepped in between them, his back to Sayuri. 

**“Madara.”**

“Sayuri, go to your room.” There was that authority again. The sign of a man with power unrivalled. A man who always got what he wanted. When she was a child, she would fall over herself to do his bidding. But she wasn’t a child anymore, and wouldn’t be bossed around. Her bottom lip jutted out in defiance. 

Then, “Sayuri, please.” The addition was devoid of the commandeering steel that she had come to know, so she wavered in her resolve, and replied with an amicable, 

“Okay,” and left, trying to ignore Zetsu’s belligerent gaze in her direction.

He came up only a few minutes later and knocked on her door. He didn’t ever knock. He would come in and out of her room like he owned the place.

“Sayuri?”

She sat up from where she had been lying on the bed, having tried the romance novel again. “Come in.”

He did not enter, and remained hovering in the doorway.

“They’re being released. Your friend, and her teammates.”

Sayuri let out a breath. “Really? Oh thank you thank you thank you.” She almost flew the gap between them, before he grabbed a hold of her by the arms, preventing her from getting too close.

“But, Sayuri…”

“Hmm?” She paused from basking in the feeling of joyous relief and looked up at the mask.

“The teacher...I’m sorry, but...” He released his hold on her, and her smile fell. It had been almost perfect. A miracle. 

“I could try, if you want me to?”

She shrugged. “You already did.”

“I could make him listen.” There was a hard edge to his voice, that authority, that arrogance, tinged with an edge of something unreservedly dark.

She stepped closer to him, and this time he didn’t try to stop her when her hands went to his chest, in an attempt to ward off any deep creatures of the night that would try and work their way into his heart. “

It’s okay… She was a Hanzo loyalist. She was threatening the safety of the village. We shouldn’t interfere. Besides,” she looked up at him hopefully, “It will all be okay in the end, won’t it? I mean, she’ll be able to meet in your world.”

“Yes,” he said evenly, gloved hands ghosting over hers, “that’s right.” 

Sayuri then fully leaned into his chest, nuzzling into him for comfort, mirroring his heartbeat in her head. Then she bit down on her lip and said quietly,

“Pain hates me, doesn’t he?”

His fingers worked their way through the tangles in her hair. “No, he doesn’t. No one hates you.”

“You hated me,” she muttered, half-hoping he wouldn’t hear her.

He did though, and his “I’m sorry,” was full of genuine remorse.

“I should apologise,” she said, pulling away from him, and turning towards the door, “I was rude, I shouldn’t have acted like that around him.”

“You did rather shout at him,” he replied, a hint of amusement colouring his tone.

“Yeah… “ her lips curved into a weak smile, “If I was a proper shinobi I would have got a hold on my emotions.” She was standing in the middle of the doorframe, and only stopped from crossing over into the hallway when Tobi reached out for her hand from behind her.

“You are a proper shinobi,” he said, thumb rubbing circles over her knuckle, “Sayuri, it’s okay. Pain will be fine. Come, let’s get you to bed,” he gently tugged on her hand to coax her closer to him, “You’ve had a long day.”

Sayuri could only nod in compliance, wiping at her eyes with the back of her hand. He was right. And although she was grown-up and perfectly capable of looking after herself, it wouldn’t hurt to give in, and let him take care of her. She wasn’t sure how long his good mood would last.

_

Three days later, Sayuri was sat in Doctor Madoka’s office, fiddling with the ends of her hair (she hadn’t the chance to get a new ribbon, so wore it loose, the long straight locks reaching to her hips) as she awaited the doctor’s verdict. 

“Well Sayuri,” said Madoka eventually, looking up from the papers in front of her, “I am very pleased with your progress, everything checks out.”

Sayuri gripped the seat of her chair with her hands and leaned forward. “So I can start on missions again?”

“Well yes,” Madoka admitted reluctantly, “but do take it easy.”

That afternoon, she stood in a quiet corner of the village in a simple black dress, watching stoically as the body burned under the orange flames. A well-loved jounin would normally have been taken to the great temple that stood proudly just west of the centre of the village, a rare sight of colour in the never-ending towers of grey. However, even a service in the small, depilated place of worship that served the most impoverished citizens of Amegakure was a rare luxury for a criminal. Mayumi’s release itself was an act of mercy from the gods. 

When she saw her friend fall to her knees sobbing, paper butterfly sliding down her honeyed curls, Sayuri wondered if she should break the mask of polite, yet detached mourner, and go to her, be the comfort she needed. The decision was taken out of her hands when Masuo stepped towards Mayumi and cradled her body against his own. Sayuri could stay where she was, staring blankly into the void. 

In Tobi’s world everything would be alright again. It was a weak consolation, but it was all she had.

__

He had been very attentive in the past few days with her meals, his mask gone most of the time, bare face marked with concern. 

That morning had been mostly the same routine, with Tobi leant against the countertop, watching her carefully, guarded, as if she was the one that might suddenly lash out in anger. When their eyes connected, the fluttering in her stomach unnerved her so much that she forced herself to look away, and spent the next few minutes staring out of the window, eating a mouthful of rice and vegetables one chopstick full at a time.

“Is it okay?” His voice was so soft that for a moment she hadn’t realised he had spoken. “Sayuri? Does it taste alright?”

“Oh,” She looked down at her three-quarters full bowl, “Yes, it’s delicious.”

“You’ve hardly touched it.” 

“I’m not that hungry.”

“Okay...did you want something else?” His hand seemed to reach out towards her, but then dropped to the side.

She shook her head. “I was just thinking…”

“About what?”

About everything, she wanted to say, but settled on one thing. “Can I…” She looked towards him, but found her resolve weakened when she did, so looked out of the window again, “Can I keep calling you Tobi? I know you’re really Madara, but I feel like, well I…” she stopped as she felt his hand in her hair. 

“Well you could call me...never mind.”

“Call you what?”

“I said, never mind.” His hand dropped out of her hair, “It doesn’t matter.”

“Yes it does,” she turned to frown at him, “I want to know what I should call you.”

He made a fist on the table. “Does it matter what you call me? I am who I am. This is me. Here and now.”

“I just want to be sure I’m calling you by the right name. Is it Madara? Where did Tobi come from?”

His mouth formed a tight line. “Stop asking questions.”

“Why? Because you never answer them? You never tell me anything! I’m not a child anymore!” She jumped up and threw her chopsticks down on the table in frustration, watching as they bounced off of the table and onto the floor. Then she stomped out, wanting to punch something in frustration. Nothing had changed at all. She half expected him to tell her to get back there, to do as he said, but when she looked back at him, he did nothing, just looked after her, with that sad look on his face. 

Later that day, she recalled the conversation with a flush of embarrassment. She had behaved appallingly and she shouldn’t blame him if he never wanted to see her again. It was pathetic. He was pathetic. No, she was pathetic. If she wasn’t, she would be on a mission by now, a jounin perhaps. Tobi would let her go on with him, Toshiko-sensei would be alive and well. Everyone would be happy. 

It was well into her third hour of trying to get rid of her frustration, or grief, or whatever it was that was eating away at her insides, throwing dummies against the wall with a touch more force than necessary, letting them lie in tangled heaps. Half-open scrolls were strewn about the place and a large puddle of water forming in the centre of the room. Twists of string that had served as short-lived hair ties littered the floor, none of them able to hold back her long mane, so that she had resigned herself to training with her hair loose. But it swung in the way when she went to attack, so Sayuri grabbed at it in anger, suddenly feeling the urge to chop it all off. That was how he found her, kneeling with a kunai in one hand, the other fisted around her locks.

The kunai clattered to the floor, and she scrambled to a standing position. 

“Sorry, I’ll clean up. I just thought, well the doctor said I can go back on missions soon, perhaps as early as tomorrow. She said I can start again tomorrow morning.” It wasn’t exactly what she had said, but he must be happy to hear that she could start again.

He said nothing, but beckoned her towards him. So she went to him, as she always did, and silently complied when he gestured for her to turn around, her back to him. Then she relaxed as he worked his hands through her hair, bringing it up into her favoured ponytail, leaving her fringe loose.

“When do you want to start ?” His fingers smoothed out the bumps of hair on her head.

“Well the doctor said I could start tomorrow morning.”

“Yes, but...when did you want to start?”

“I...I don’t know. When do you want me to start?”

“Hold this,” he pressed a new shiny green ribbon into her hand, “When do you want to start? You. Sayuri-chan.”

“I don’t…I…” she bit her lip, “I want...I don’t want to go on my own!” Shocked at her own sudden outburst, she hurriedly pressed her lips together.

“Shh…” He took the ribbon from her hand, and began tying it around the ponytail, “You don’t have to go. You don’t have to go at all if you don’t want to.”

Sayuri was quiet as she felt him tie the ribbon into a bow, telling her to stay still when she moved her head.

“What will the others say?” She asked when he was done, turning to face him.

“They won’t say anything.”

“What about Zetsu?”

“He won’t say anything.”

His certainty should have been reassuring, but it wasn’t. “He scares me,” she admitted, and leant into him.

“Scares me a bit too.”

“Didn’t think you were scared of anything…” she murmured, breathing a soft sigh into his chest, making shapes out of the grain of his shirt.

“I’m scared of some things.”

She looked up at him. “Like what?”

The look he gave her was all at once sorrowful, and straightforward, and mysterious, and it was easy to believe that he had lived lifetimes. Then his hand hovered over her newly formed ponytail and he said quietly, 

“Just...some things.”

It wasn’t a very satisfactory answer, but she wouldn’t press it now. Her gaze fixed upon his lips, and she bit her own, then ran her tongue over the place where her teeth had marked the flesh.

Then she felt it. A pricking on the back of her neck. A shiver crawling up her spine. She looked over her shoulder at the source of her discomfort, grinning through the ever present leaves.

“Hello there Sayuri-chan, you doing alright?”

Taken aback by the apparent good-nature of his greeting, she just mumbled an “I’m fine,” while trying to bury herself further into Tobi’s top.

**“We’ve recruited the bomber. You should make introductions.”**

All commanding arrogance again, the reply was succinct. “Good. I’ll be with you shortly.”

Then he was prying himself free from Sayuri’s grip, where she had held onto him tightly, wordlessly saying, ‘Don’t go. Don’t leave me.’ Her request went unfulfilled, or ignored, and all too quickly, he was putting his mask on again, readying to depart.

He jumped about, cheering enthusiastically, “Aww don’t be so glum Sayuri chan, Tobi’s just going to say hi to the new member! Tobi will be back soon, don’t you worry! Okay bye bye,” he waved before disappearing. The exaggerated pantomime performance did nothing to assuage her anxieties, and Sayuri sighed softly, before making a start on tidying up.

It was well into the small hours when she returned to her room, and she would have almost crushed the gift bag under her intent to flop right onto the bed, had she not seen it illuminated in the pale glow of the waxing moon. A printed design of rainbow coloured banners on the outside, red tissue paper on the inside, filled with her favourite treats and snacks, pocky, and mochi, and little caramel candies, and small bottles of scented shower creams, and tinted lip balms. Then, underneath it all, a belated birthday card. It had a simple scene of a beach on the front, sea big and blue and beautiful, and then on the inside, right at the bottom, was a single name.

Obito.


	22. Carte blanche

It was not often that Sayuri was affected by Amegakure’s inclement weather, save for the occasional wistfulness for places with sunnier climates, especially when she had just returned from a mission in a place that had a much more agreeable climate, reminiscent of her home village. When she was younger she wondered if the rain would ever stop, or would the skies keep crying as she cried? As it happened, it did not go on forever, and Sayuri quickly became accustomed to the perpetual drizzle, only adversely affected on the days it rained more than the standard very fine shower.

Such as days like today, when it was, as Reika would phrase it “Absolutely pissing it down.” Sayuri didn’t want to think about how her old school teachers would react to that particular turn of phrase. Normally, she would avoid the outside at the first sign of a torrential downpour, (and it had become far too easy in her teenage years to use it as an excuse for doing nothing at all, except after a few minutes of laying about in bed, she felt guilty, and would jump up to go train or even make an attempt at reading up on some theory) but this time the sky had become overly dark rather suddenly, so there was nothing Sayuri could do but run full pelt, arriving on Mayumi’s doorstep soaked through and feeling rather sorry for herself.

“You didn’t have to come today,” said Mayumi, once Sayuri was seated comfortably in their kitchen, having blasted herself with the hairdryer and borrowed a jumper. “Not that I didn’t want you to come,” she said quickly, when Sayuri’s expression turned crestfallen, “but don’t feel like you have to see me everyday.”

Sayuri picked up a piece of coloured paper from the mound on the kitchen table. On one side was an array of origami flowers, some simple, some much more detailed. Mayumi could produce one of her paper creations in mere seconds, her hands movements barely traceable during battles. Although Sayuri could do the simple ones to a reasonable standard, anything more than an 8 step piece was too fiddly and frustrating, and Sayuri would throw it down in a crumpled mess. Mayumi had laughed and fixed it and Sayuri just let her do it and didn't try again. 

The only one that could seem to keep up with Mayumi was Masuo, at least outside the realms of battle, who was there every time Sayuri came round, letting Mayumi direct his fingers to where they needed to go. “No, no, you’ve got to fold like this.” She stayed close, sharing the seat with him, until the last fold was done and it was time to carefully add the finished flower to the ever growing pile.

Sayuri mostly sat and watched them at work as the bouquet was gradually formed, the conversation slowing and speeding up alternately, her own hands occasionally straying to the same crumpled piece of paper she would keep folding and refolding. She tried not to think of the open packet of yatsuhashi she had snuck away between her clothes. It was a hard stick-like sweet snack from the Land of Water, the cinnamon taste very moreish. 

She wondered if Tobi could bring her some more. No, she couldn’t ask him that, she didn’t want to come across as demanding or ungrateful. 

“I’m going to meet my friends,” she had announced the morning he had returned after finding the gifts on her bed. “Um, I mean, if—if that’s okay?”

“Sayuri,” Again she was surprised by the gentle tone of his voice, when it should have been harsh, “You don’t need to ask me, it’s fine.”

“Oh...yes,” she replied, almost absently, searching for a conversation topic, “Did it go well? With the bomber?”

“It did.”

“Oh…good.” Sayuri fiddled with the end of her ribbon. She had hoped for a more elaborate answer, but this one would do for now.

Tobi. Although his recent revelation had her curious, and she was almost completely sure that what was written on the card was his true name, she couldn’t bring herself to ask him directly, nor did he mention it. So she stuck by the name she had always used, and they carried on in the same fashion they had before. 

Almost the same.

She did keep the card under her pillow, mostly because she didn’t know what to do with it, but she couldn’t just throw it away. And sometimes she would trace a finger over the words when she lay in bed at night, illuminated by the soft white glow that crept between the cracks in her curtains. 

At around 4pm Masuo left for an important meeting regarding his pending jounin status, prompting Mayumi to follow him to the door and spend a long time saying goodbye.

“They’re lovely,” Sayuri breathed afterwards, the bouquet almost finished.

“You think so?” Mayumi positioned a stem in a gap, “Better than the convenience store anyway.”

“Yeah,” Sayuri agreed, knowing that there was a particular convenience store Mayumi had been avoiding recently. Mayumi had explained her break up with Kenzo earlier.

“It’s like he didn’t want me to see my friends, he’d get jealous or something when we met up. And, please don’t take it the wrong way, Sayuri, because I know it’s not your fault, but you were in the hospital some time, and I had to see you, I couldn’t exactly just leave you there. But apparently that wasn’t good enough for him.”

Presently, Mayumi asked, “So how’s Reika?”

“Um, she’s okay I think.”

“She hates me!” Reika had wailed in-between drags of her cigarette the day before, when Sayuri had met her on her break. She had been spending a lot of her time working shifts at the restaurant, claiming that she couldn’t possibly take the time off to meet up together. Sayuri had thought it a perfectly valid excuse, but when she related this to Mayumi, she had snorted in response.

“She at the restaurant again today?” At Sayuri’s nod, Mayumi placed the finished arrangement on the table, and said, “Let’s go and see her.” She stood up, grabbed her keys from the side with a sudden determinedness, and headed out the front door before Sayuri could make any protest.

The storm had passed and the village had taken on this serene sort of stillness. The sun had broken through the clouds, lighting up the streets with crystals forming on the sides of drain pipes, and the puddles had become pale mirrors in the streets. There was no time for admiration though, for Mayumi had set a brisk pace and Sayuri was thankful that she wasn’t slow herself.

When Reika noticed them standing in the foyer, she dropped the serving tray she was holding on the counter and disappeared through the kitchen doors.

Her little brother Taro came out to meet them some seconds later. “Reika told me to tell you that she’s feeling unwell. She has a cold.”

“Really?” Mayumi raised her eyebrow, and rushed around the back to apprehend Reika, who was trying to make a hasty retreat through the bathroom window. 

“Hirayama Reika!” Mayumi shouted, making Sayuri flinch, “You come down here right now!”

At this Reika stopped with one leg over the sill and sheepishly stepped down to the bathroom floor as Mayumi stared her down, her mouth a straight line. There was a tense pause when Reika found solid ground, then Mayumi threw her arms around her, and Reika bawled, and all was forgiven. 

They whiled away the afternoon giggling on a rooftop.

—

The next day, Sayuri ventured to the graveyard in search of Mayumi. She found her talking quietly with Konan, the paper bouquet on the grave in front of them. She hovered for a few moments in the shade of the caretakers building, but they seemed to be deep in conversation. It didn’t feel right to intrude on their privacy so she slipped away and went home.

She wasn’t quite sure why she was crying, but she was, and Sayuri buried herself into Tobi’s top.

“Do you think my parents got a grave? I don’t know…. if the village killed them anyway…” she stepped away from him to wipe her face with her sleeve, “Sorry, I don’t know why I’m bringing this up now. I can see them, in the dream world?”

“If you’d like.”

The following morning, she heard familiar voices from the hallway, but as she skipped down the stairs, the conversation died and four pairs of eyes turned to her, the red and black cloaks still. Sayuri bit her lip and looked to the floor, her movements turned sluggish, and the path to the door seemed to double in length.

“Sayuri,” Tobi detached himself from the group, his voice almost cold, “Make sure you train properly.”

She snapped to attention and lifted her head. “I—What’s going on? What are you talking about?”

“Nothing that concerns you.”

“No, it never does,” she bit out, and snatched her hand away when he tried to reach for it.

She trained arduously on a rooftop. The thought had crossed her mind to purposefully not train, because he had asked her to, and why did she have to do everything he said all the time? But she had already gone weeks without a mission, and did want to resume them as quickly as possible. It was one of those days where you could see the pale face of the moon in the daytime sky, and in a sudden moment of madness, she fancied knocking it out of the sky with the aid of a well-aimed kunai.

“I’ve been to the moon once,” came Tomoya’s voice to her left.

“Oh, sensei!” The kunai fell with a clatter, “Sorry, didn’t notice you were there.”

He grinned knowingly. “No worries. Was just saying I have been to the moon.”

“No you haven’t.”

“I have.”

“You haven’t.”

"I, honestly, cross my heart, my one, singular human heart that is, I have been to the moon. Well,” he tilted his head, “not this moon, another moon."

Sayuri decided to play along. Deciphering her sensei’s nonsensical mutterings was easier than understanding Tobi’s mood swings. “What’s it like?”

“Cold. Rocky. Bit boring really, but things do get a bit heated when you’re in trouble with the police. And then it was an egg. Which isn’t very helpful unless you want lots of tamagoyaki.”

Sayuri laughed. “That didn’t really happen. You’re just making up stories to cheer me up.’

“Yes. I am.”

She did feel in a better mood though, and when she saw Tobi later that evening she smiled at him, just to see how he would react, and the corners of his mouth lifted up just slightly, and she felt how strongly her heart thumped against her chest.

—

A few days later Sayuri sat sipping on milkshakes with her friends. (Not a very common drink, but Reika’s father had it on good authority that it was popular elsewhere, so they were trialling it as a new addition to the menu. Sayuri thought it was very good but apparently her opinion didn’t count as she liked anything that was remotely sweet.)

“You can try some of my milkshake if you like,” offered Taigen, who had recently returned from a mission to the Land of Earth.

“Oh no, that’s okay.”

“Got caught in the storm on the way back,” he continued, dragging the glass back towards him, “Had to stop by this little orphanage place. They charged us for the bed as well.”

“They’ve got to have some way of making money,” interjected his teammate, Yukio.

“Yeah yeah I know,” he leaned back in his chair, hands behind his head “but still, could have shown a little charity, us being shinobi and all. Hey, Sayuri-chan, remember that mission you had, with that drug cartel and those children.”

“Oh, yes,” she bit her lip, “I remember.” All too well, how she had begged Tobi to save them, to which he had reassured her they were okay, and then, the sickening dread she felt when he as much as told her that it was delusional to hope that they would be okay. 

Taigen continued, “Well you talked to them about getting them somewhere to stay didn’t you? ‘Cause I saw some of those children there, well they said they remembered you.”

Sayuri tried to remain composed. So they were alive after all? She had just come to terms with the reality of what happened to them, consoling herself with the fact that they must be in a better place now. Although, he had never actually said that they were dead. Perhaps he only said it to be cruel. She wasn’t sure which was worse.

“They are doing well then?” She tried to maintain a facade of casual interest, even though her heart was thumping terribly in her chest.

“Oh yeah, sure, seem so.”

Sayuri tried to smile along with her friends, but her mind was abuzz. If that really was those children, then why hadn’t he told her? Why had he lied?

Reika snapped her out of her thoughts. “Sayuri? You okay?”

“I’m fine,” she bit her lip, “I just...they never told me they were doing an orphanage or anything that’s all.”

Reika rolled her eyes. “Typical. They never tell you shit.”

Sayuri nodded weakly. It was easier sometimes, to pretend you didn’t care.

—

When she came home Tobi had prepared her a dinner of omelette rice. When she was younger he would draw faces of dogs and cats on them in ketchup, and she would seize the bottle insisting that she’d have a go—her own handiwork wasn’t nearly as skilled. He had cheered her all the same, and she had been so thrilled to receive his praise, in her childish naïveté she could not see that he had obviously been taking pity on her.

The meal tasted like straw in her mouth, but she tried to eat it dutifully, taking tiny bites as she felt his cautious gaze upon her, and if she ate nothing at all he would surely have something to say about that.

She couldn’t help but think about the orphanage, and the children. She was relieved that he hadn’t been going about killing children, as she had so assumed, but then why had he said to her what he did? Inferring that she was stupid for even believing that he could be good.

She knew that he was good. There must have been some other reason for him to be so mean. Oh, he had said about the woman that he liked, and getting too close, but she was a poor substitute for his past lover. 

Presently, Tobi’s expression revealed concern, and Sayuri realised she had been lost in her thoughts a while, so she tried to give him a weak smile, to prove that she was okay.

He didn’t buy it of course.

“Sayuri, are you okay? If you don’t like it I can make you something else?”

Sayuri looked down at her plate. “Oh no, it’s fine.”

He didn’t look reassured by that, so she decided to stop avoiding the problem and state what was on her mind.

“I heard...about the children.” He looked puzzled at that, so she further clarified, “The ones at the orphanage.”

He did not make any sign of confirmation, but from the expression on his face she knew that he understood. In fact the look he gave her, she didn’t know if she would rather he was being cruel again.

So she went back to her meal, stabbing it with her spoon and moving the rice around her plate.

In a moment he was crouched by her chair.

“Sayuri, I am sorry. Truly.”

She sighed. “I know you are. That’s why you keep looking at me like...like I’m broken or something. I’m not,” she had not meant to bite it out in such an icy manner, and he did look rather taken aback, but then she trembled slightly at her next words, “I’m not stupid either.”

“I know you’re not Sayuri. Never.”

“Well you could have told me...I thought that you really had—When you said all that about the orphanage was a lie, I thought you…” and then she quickly wiped her hand across her face to stem the tears, no she wasn’t weak, she wasn’t. “I guess I—I really thought you did hate me.” She put her hand over her mouth to muffle the sobs, and wiped again at her eyes, feeling the skin being pulled around her face.

“I could never hate you.”

That really did it, and she fell forward into his arms weeping. He shushed her and held her close and threaded his fingers through her hair.

“Hey now, what are you crying for, we have enough water in the village as it is.”

It was a poor joke but she laughed in spite of herself, and when she blinked up at him, he was smiling at her.

She wished that he would smile like that always.

“Can I spar with you tomorrow?”

To her surprise he agreed and she went to sleep excited by the idea of being able to show him just how capable she was.


	23. Mend

Once her classmates had decided that she was ‘alright’, nine-year-old-Sayuri frequently found herself as the focus of question-time during lunch breaks. She didn’t mind the interrogation so much, as it meant that people were talking to her, and following Masuo’s hurtful comments about her being an ‘outsider’, Mayumi and Reika had taken it upon themselves to protect her from against any insulting enquiries—the latter promising that she would “shove your face down the toilet!“ to anyone that dared utter something hurtful. Sayuri wasn’t so keen on such acts of barbarity, but she appreciated the sentiment. 

One time, the questions came from a girl named Emi.

“So anyone you like?” 

“Yes, of course,” Sayuri affirmed immediately, “I like everyone.” However, her response was met with a frown. Sayuri nibbled on her lip—had she done something wrong again?

“No, I mean,” Emi leaned forward, “Like like. You know, who do you want to be your boyfriend?”

“Um, no one...I don’t know.”

“Really? You sure?”

“I, um…”

“I’ll tell you who I like,” said Reika, coming to the rescue.

Emi whipped her head round so fast Sayuri was sure she heard it crack. “Who?”

Reika’s features morphed into a wicked grin before she gave the smug reply;

“Your mum.” This was met with a mix of groans and chuckles from the table.

“Oh get away Reika,” Emi hissed, “You’d end up marrying a drainpipe.”  
  
“Not the one up your bum, you’re acting feel.”

Sayuri reflected upon the exchange later, Amegakureans said some strange things sometimes, but when she asked Tobi about it, he wasn’t very helpful at all.

“I have no idea what you’re talking about. Just concentrate on your homework please.” At the time, she wondered if it wasn’t just an Ame thing, but ‘because he was an old person’ thing.

—

Six years later she sat perched on the end of her bed, her hair loose, wrapping the ribbon idly around her hand. Her mission was the next day and she was meant to be packing, but someone was doing that for her. Not that she couldn’t do it by herself, she could, she just liked the idea of him being close. He wouldn’t come to her room nowadays for no good reason, so she had hatched a plan that morning, and rounded on him in the hallway once she had sensed him out.

“Tobi?” She started cautiously, approaching him from behind. His head tilted in her direction and she continued, “Can you help me pack?”

He turned to face her.   
  
“I’m sure you can do that by yourself.”

“Yes, but, I...I, er, forgot,” she said, and looked at the floor, then flicked her gaze up to the mask and added, “Please?”

He gave a sigh, but agreed and thankfully didn’t challenge her obviously faked excuse. Of course, she could understand his wariness. Just the day before she had snapped at him when he gently reminded her to make sure she wasn’t home too late, as a storm was due.

“I know how to check the weather forecast,” she had grumbed, “I wish you would stop treating me like a child.”

“Sayuri...you are a child.”

She had stayed the night at Reika’s in the end.

Now, having him near meant she could offer him snippets of conversation as he went about her room. She had asked him to help, she didn’t really mean for him to take over, and she could have gotten herself up from the bed and taken on a more active role in preparations. 

He had given her a look as he passed by, (the mask had come off almost straight-away when he had entered her bedroom) holding a t-shirt of hers in his hand, and for a moment she thought he was going to berate her for being lazy, but he said nothing and let her remain idle on the bed. She almost wished he had said something. 

She could have gotten herself up.

She didn’t.

She would do, next time.

“I could do the moonlight,” she said, after a long spell of silence, bored of finding patterns in the ceiling from where she lay on the bed.

“Go moonlighting, yes.”

“Yes?” Sayuri sat up, “You mean I can help out with Akatsuki things?”

He took a little while to reply. “I think you should focus on this mission first.”

There was silence for several more minutes, until he asked, 

“Sayuri, where have you put all your scrolls? I can’t find them.”

“They’re probably in the bottom draw,” she replied nonchalantly, engrossed in watching two raindrops race down the window. “No, wait!” she yelled, jumping up panicked, “don’t look!”

It was too late. He had already opened it, and her terrible secret was revealed to him.

The evidence of her guilt lay forgotten at the back of the draw. Some of the vials were empty, others were full, the bright purple liquid staring up at her as a painful reminder.

“I, I haven’t been doing it recently, I promise, I, it was just before, you know, when you were, I mean when we were...I was just a bit sad that’s all, but I’m okay now, I promise, I—” she stopped as she caught his eye; his expression was a look of sorrow the likes she had never seen before.

“Oh, Sayuri…”

Then he closed the gap and held her tight. She immediately clung to him, her own sorrow pooling in her eyes, and dropping onto his shirt.

When they parted, she wiped at her eyes, and asked, “Can we get rid of them?”

—

Sayuri still wasn’t fond of the other dimension. It had a strange atmosphere—strange in the fact that there wasn’t really any atmosphere to think of, just this overwhelming sense of absence, like humans weren’t supposed to be there at all.

This time a new element had been added to the space that diminished her discomfort. She watched, entranced, as the black flames danced upon the discarded vials, swallowing up glass and liquid alike, disappearing into ash. The birthday card was tossed in as well, and the flames rose up to devour it, the secret dying in their wake.

She imagined how easy it would be for her to be consumed by this black terror; If she wasn’t stood back as she was, fingers making minuscule twitches at her side, itching to grasp around a black gloved hand a few inches to her right, she too would immediately shrivel up into nothing. 

When she looked away from the spectacle, her gaze settled upon his face, stained with red tears. It was the first time she had seen him bleed, and now he was bleeding for her. Her first victory.

Their victory.  
  
—

The mission was a simple one. They were to guide a politician, some noble, if it was to be understood by his constant self-praise, to a village named Endo, on the eastern peninsula of the Land of Earth. 

“What are we doing in Endo?” Sayuri asked Ezume, who had been appointed captain for the mission, the other members of the team being Reika and Taigen.

“Us? We’re doing nothing. Probably just stay the night and head home. Watane, I don’t know, probably some important talk thing. Why don’t you ask him yourself?”

“Oh yes girl, you want to know of my very important work do you?” Watane said, when she approached the litter, “Of course a common sort like you would be interested. You could only dream of reaching my caliber. Many vye for a status so renowned. Few succeed. I’m sure you’re interested. Where are your family from, a noble one is it?”

“My family are dead…”

“An orphan then? Well, then there is not much hope for you. My own were cruelly taken from me but that was after I found my seat in this position. You see, this route will be lined with my enemies, best be on your guard.”

The enemies never did show up, although Watane mentioned them often, and would express worries that the shinobi would not be capable of defending him. “Are you sure you're wearing that headband right boy?” and “You should work on your gait girl, you can not defend me walking like that?” When he was not picking them up on their conduct he would be boring them with boasts of his ‘very important work’ which seemed to consist of ‘making the world to rights’ without really explaining what it was he actually did.

“What do you think Sayuri?” said Reika, when the boys were up front and facing the whole brunt of the politician’s prattle, the girls getting some reprieve from the back, “Just one shot,” she fingered a senbon between her fingers, “right to the scrotum. Could always say he tripped or something.”

“Reika-chan!” Sayuri gasped in mock exasperation, “You can’t do that!”

“You’re no fun,” said Reika and stuck out her tongue. They had to stifle their giggles when Ezume looked back and raised his eyebrows at them.

Eventually after three wearisome days their mission came to an end. Upon delivering Watane to the appropriate delegates, he made a great show of telling everyone how arduous his journey was, complete with dramatic re-enactment of the time a spider dare find its way inside the litter.

“That’s funny,” quipped Taigen, “sounds like someone I know.”

Reika scoffed at him and rolled her eyes, “A least I don’t have the personality of a used dishcloth, you grape!”

“Now now Reika, don’t get stroppy,” he chastised and skidded away sharpish when she glared menacingly at him.

“So does this mean we are done? Or do we have to wait to take him back?” Sayuri asked.

“We’re done. The mission was just to take him to this point,” said Ezume.

Reika scoffed. “Who cares? If his so-called enemies get him here then that’s his problem.”

—

The streets moved about in twists and turns, the shadows of the late afternoon adding to the maze like feel. Sayuri fell into step beside Ezume as they made their way through the town.

“So how are you? The divorce? It’s all been sorted out okay? You’re parents, are...They’re fine right.”

“Yeah, they’re okay...it happened over two months ago.”

“It did? Oh god, I am so sorry, I was so busy...with things.”

“Yeah, I noticed. I was beginning to think you were in some secret cult or something.”

She laughed nervously at that, and looked in at the nearest shop window, which was decorated with original abstract watercolour canvases in shades of blue and yellow.

“I’m just saying we were worried you know, Masuo and I, couldn’t spend some time with your old teammates?”

She understood the joking tone and turned back to smile at Ezume.

“Of course, we should arrange something when we get back right?”

“Yeah, though I guess we’ll be seeing less of Masuo now too.”

“Eh?”

“Well, he’s...you know,” he moved his head to the side to indicate something, but Sayuri wasn’t quite sure what.

“Um…”

He furrowed his brow. “Aren’t you two best friends or something?”

“Who?”

Ezume shook his head. “Never mind.”

“Oh, okay,” Sayuri replied and continued to look around the street, admiring how the setting sun would catch upon the stones embedded into the walls, causing them to gleam golden fire. Her gaze settled upon a blonde woman standing in the shadows of a side street.

She looked just a second longer and the lady turned and fled.

Sayuri immediately gave chase but when she rounded the corner the woman was gone, not even a hint of her chakra lingered. The odd tugging on her brain told her that she had seen this woman before, but when she tried to focus more on this fact she came up with nothing, just the odd sense of vague familiarity.

“Sayuri-chan!” Reika jogged to a stop, “What you doing running off for?”

“Just thought I saw someone I knew…”

“Some weird deja-vu huh?”

“Must have been.”

“Honestly,” said Ezume, “I thought you were running because you saw the sea or something.”

“What?”

“Behind you. Turn around.”

She turned.

There it was, glistening blue and beautiful. Stretching out for miles and miles, to the edge of the world.

For a moment she couldn’t say anything except “Oh...oh…” as she stood there, transfixed.

Then her legs were moving of their own accord, carrying her towards it, the shouts of “Wait!” from her friends passing her by like the wind. She tread stone then pebbles then sand, her sandals kicked off her feet before she hit the waves. The water frothed around her ankles then her thighs, then finally her whole body was submerged.  
  
For a moment all was still. She was the ocean and the ocean was her. Moving with the waves. Dancing in their wake. At Reika’s muffled shout, she came up for air, the water running in rivulets down her body, she shook her head like a dog, beaming in spite of her soaked clothing and frigid temperature.

“You will have to let us know before you keep running off like that!” called Reika from the beach.

Sayuri laughed in response and continued to dance amongst the waves. 

Happiness had returned to her at the end of the world.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have too many throwaway characters I swear I’ve already mixed up their names.


	24. Knitted Goods

Sayuri placed her I.D. card on the table in front of Ezume. Raku was settled on the ground underneath, occasionally twitching his nose at the air or the ground. Sayuri thought that he may be looking for food, but when she crouched and offered a stick of yatsuhashi, the otter replied in a deep monotone,

“I don’t like sweets.”

“Oh, sorry Raku-san,” Sayuri replied, and straightened up to address Ezume, “I’m going to Nishikawa. Personal trip.”

He gave a cursory glance at the card before moving a cup of coffee to the side, making room for a heavily worn notebook.

“When you coming back?”

“Today.”

The journey took only a few hours, flitting through the frost-tipped grass, skimming over the icy puddles.

At the farm Irori greeted her with a smile, cradling a swaddled infant in her arms.

“Sayuri-chan! It’s been a while hasn’t it! Oh, this is Komugi.” At the mention of his name the baby adjusted himself in his mother’s grip to stare at Sayuri, his dark eyes wide and unblinking. In turn she offered him an encouraging smile, but his curious expression remained unchanged. “Look, it’s a friend,” Irori cooed, “Say hello!”

Komugi screwed up his face, opened his mouth wide and wailed in response. 

“Oh dear,” Irori frowned, “That’s not a very nice noise. There there, shh shh,” she said, bouncing him in her arms, “I need to check if he wants a feed, sorry about that.”

Once he was settled, Irori set about making the tea, leaving Sayuri to make herself comfortable. As much as she could. Now the adrenaline from her run was wearing off, Sayuri was beginning to feel like it was a mistake coming to the farm and intruding upon Irori’s hospitality. No, it wasn’t, she tried to console herself, you’re being stupid. 

No, not stupid.

Never stupid.

Four sudden loud bangs from above made her jump up from her chair in surprise

“Don’t mind upstairs,” Irori smiled up at the ceiling, holding a tray with cups and a teapot in her hands, “Masashi’s working on the roof.”

Sayuri nodded in understanding. Masashi...that was her husband wasn’t it?

“So…” Irori poured the tea into the ceramic cups, “How are things?” 

“They’re good.” 

“Well you certainly look well. Your team doing okay? I did see Tomoya the other day, he was trying to convince my husband about some new way to grow the cabbages. I’m not entirely sure I was convinced, it all sounded rather dangerous. He doesn’t half speak odd sometimes, doesn’t your sensei?”

“Mmm,” Sayuri agreed, “How are you?”

“Well, we’re okay here. Nabe’s gone. He wasn’t coping well after Dad went, and...we ended up arguing a lot, so in the end he left. Nanako and Daisuke, my younger siblings, they miss him of course—we all miss him—“ she looked wistful for a moment, “but that’s life isn’t it! And of course I have my husband, and my little bean,” Irori smiled in the direction of the basket where Komugi was sleeping soundly.

He is very cute,” Sayuri said politely.

“Isn’t he just?” Irori turned back to face her, “Did you want something? Or you just came for a chat?”

“Well, you see…”

“Oh, I should be able to do that,” Irori replied, when Sayuri had told her what it was she wanted, “Who’s it for?”

“No-one,” Sayuri said quickly and chewed on her lip.

Irori grinned knowingly. “Oh it’s that way is it? Still...When did you want it by?”

“Beginning of February if that’s possible?”

“Beginning of February? I don’t know...I’ll try, but it’s a bit short on time…”

“Oh, I didn’t mean to put a burden on you,” Sayuri apologised quickly, feeling at once regretful of the whole situation. It was a mistake coming here, she knew it. She should just go home and figure something else out. 

Irori shook her head, “It’s no problem, I’m just thinking…” she tapped a finger to her chin, “Why didn’t you ask Tomoya? I’m sure he would be able to help. I mean, he obviously has a lot of practice with that great thing slung round his neck.”

“Oh, um,” Sayuri struggled for an excuse, “I’m not sure when I’d be next able to see him, he’s always here and there.” It wasn’t really a lie as such—it wasn’t like Irori had to know that some things were better kept from her sensei. Sayuri didn’t want any questions she couldn’t answer. 

“Oh yes, it must be difficult with your schedules. Wait, it’s not for him is it?” Irori laughed and went on, “I’m only teasing you.”

Sayuri hummed in assent and took a sip of the barley tea. The temperature had dropped from ‘scalding-hot’ to bearable—Sayuri preferred it lukewarm.

“How old are you now?”

“15.”

“15 really?! You wouldn’t know it by looking at you. Do you know I don’t think you have grown one bit in all the time I have known you!”

Sayuri pouted. She was sure she had grown at least a bit. 

Irori chuckled. “You’re adorable you know.” 

Sayuri pondered over whether the adjective could be considered patronising or not (She was sure Irori meant it as a compliment but that was besides the point, she needed to be a grown-up now, who would want a silly little child?) when a voice came from upstairs.

“You’re not talking to the baby again are you?” 

Oh, great.

“What?” Irori laughed, “No, silly! I have someone over! Oh!” Her eyes widened in sudden realisation, “Nanako-chan! Come down here! I have a job for you!”

There was a groan and the sound of footsteps on the stairs and then a preteen girl appeared in front of them.

“What is it?” She sighed, rolling her eyes.

Nanako’s weary demeanour continued as Irori relayed Sayuri’s request to her, but changed rapidly when it was mentioned she would be recompensed for the labour, and she readily agreed to carry out the work.

Sayuri breathed a sigh of relief, glad that what she wanted to be made was going to be. She couldn’t do it by herself, knitting wasn’t her forté, and she didn’t really want to attend knitting 101 with Tomoya-sensei. Or else, she would be hunting for another present. And this one had to be perfect.

—

“Tobi?”

There she was, smiling up at him, although this grin was tempered with a hint of apprehension. Half a year ago, it seemed that the only expressions she could muster were anxious nibbles on her lip, forlorn glances, and vacant stares. Perhaps her smile would be gone forever, but no, she managed to laugh along with her friends, it was just him the corners of her mouth would turn up habitually and then drop back down, as if she was trying to school her features into stoicness.

His regret of course, was only due to the fact that he didn’t want any bouts of depression affecting her performance. The same reason he made sure she was eating well, even her vegetables. What was the use of a broken tool? That was all. Everything was for his master plan. And she, poor fool that she was, would play her part, just like everyone else.

But, that smile though. 

An indicator that she was in good health. That the pawn wasn’t faulty. That was all.

“Happy Birthday.” 

Ah yes, that. She was the only one who knew of his actual birthday. Only alive person. Apart from the silver haired pathetic excuse of a shinobi, who was, to the best of Obito’s knowledge, still moping about empty graves in Konoha.

What a fucking waste. Like the rest of this world.

Well, he gave a soft smile of his own, not a complete waste. Not really. His birthday was one of the first real bits of information he had divulged to her (though begrudgingly.) As an eight-year-old, she had managed to extract the date all in an afternoon when she had pestered him continually about it.

He had told her chiefly to make her shut up. Gods, that girl could talk. His actual one (It had been a few years since he celebrated, but he could still remember it.). It was a good a date as any, and it wasn’t like Madara’s birthdate was common knowledge. Besides who was she going to tell? She wasn’t going to march up to Konoha who would then match it up to the birthdate of a no-name Uchiha who died tragically in the last war. And it was easy to remember. A date picked on a whim he could easily forget and she might spot the discrepancy and then he would be in trouble. That was the art of it. Bits of truth mixed into the lie.

The whole thing had turned out to be an elaborate ploy for Sayuri’s benefit, because after he had told her she had proclaimed,

“Well it’s my birthday next week and you need to give me a present. It’s the rules.”

Oh the mind of eight-year-olds and their understanding of societal norms. He had honoured the day when it came, on the pretense of being a caring guardian, and bought her a cake. She had reciprocated a few months later with a handmade card. 

The exchange had continued over the years until he wasn’t sure which visible signs of affection were feigned and which were real. And that brought them to today, his 24th birthday.

“I’ve got a present for you,” she said, standing there holding nothing.

“Yes?”

“It’s in my room. I—do you want to get, come see it?” she said, grabbing his hand and tugging him along (or at least trying to) before he was able to protest, even if he had wanted to.

When they arrived, she looked down for a long time at where they were joined, then slowly detached her hand from his. She dove under the bed and resurfaced a few seconds later with a package in her hand.

“Happy Birthday,” she said and thrust the parcel in his face.

Obito took it gently from her and carefully unpeeled the tape holding it together. As the paper unfurled he caught sight of something green and then it unraveled completely and he was looking at a scarf, handmade by the looks of it. Tentatively, he picked it up, letting the wrappings drop to the floor. It was soft, thick, definitely not something Sayuri could have made knowing her domestic talents. She herself had been flicking her gaze between him and the floor, so that she resembled one of those dolls that would blink when you moved its head.

“Do you like it?” she blurted.

“I do” he said easily, “thank you.”

“Good.” Her gaze went to the scarf in his hands and back up at him, “Aren’t you going to wear it?”

He was going to say, “I’ll wear it later,” but she was looking so very earnest that Obito obediently slung it round his neck and waited for her approval.

She pursed her lips for a moment, then nodded. “It looks good on you. Do you want to do something? I mean, for your birthday, I thought we could go out, oh, I mean, not out, I don’t mean, not here, because of your identi—your hiding thing, but, um, we could go somewhere different. Like a private place. Oh! Not private like in that way I didn’t mean that I...Or we could stay inside and just do something nice here? I mean, whatever you want to do, you can do on your own, you don’t have to with—”

She stopped when Obito reached behind her head to adjust her ribbon. “Would you like some pancakes?”

There. There was that smile.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I feel sad but whatever it will pass. It just be like that sometime.


	25. Books

Summer a year later, Sayuri hung out with her girl friends after a showing of a fantasy film starring Reika’s beloved actress Ayumi. It was the first time in three months they all had time together between them, when Sayuri was not otherwise training to keep herself in top form, the rank of projects she undertook gradually increasing in difficulty. However, she never went anywhere without at least one of her friends being drafted to the same assignment, and she could always skip if she found herself getting too tired.

She also worked on improving her sealing jutsu, which had been neglected besides using it for storage. (Obito still refused to let her put things away in his kamui dimension.) It was Tomoya-sensei who had suggested it, sealing attacks away, to use again at a later stage.

“It could be your superweapon you know, like a signature move! Everyone has one.”

Sayuri wasn’t sure about all that—it wasn’t like all the great shinobi had that one move they would overuse instead of practicing any others—but she cautiously worked on Tomoya’s suggestion. At first she had tried to seal her opponent's attack before they hit her, and though she had gotten the hang of it practicing with her friends, the incredibly precise timings meant it wasn't practical to use in actual battle. So she thought some more, and then mused on whether she could just store her own jutsu so as to conserve chakra in battle. It was something she was still working on, the day before this cinema trip with her friends.

“She’s so perfect,” Reika gushed for the hundredth time about Ayumi since leaving the cinema, as they stepped out of the convenience store having bought sweets, cigarettes, and origami paper. Sayuri’s travels had her trying the local delicacies of various places, but she had already run out of treats from her last mission, which ended two days ago.

“No, it was a good film,” Mayumi agreed, leading them to the bookstore, “but the book’s better.” She indicated the thick volume that had been put on the main display at the front of the store to showcase it, given the current cinematic adaptation.

“Why so many words?” Reika rifled through the pages, squinting dubiously.

“It’s called a book, you read it.”

“Oh haha,” was the sarcastic reply, “Come on, let's go and look at something more interesting.”

She meandered to the back, and Sayuri was only too happy to follow along after her, having grown some interest in that particular section since turning sixteen last year. She watched as her friend plucked a book from one of the back shelves, opened it in the middle, read for a few seconds and sniggered.

“What what?” Sayuri tried to crane her neck over Reika’s shoulder, stretching up on her tiptoes.

“Oh, here,” Reika moved the book to a lower position and tapped at a line near the top of the page,

‘I love you, Ichiko,’ the book read, ‘you make my heart warm like cup ramen you have found in the cupboard when it has been snowing and the shops are shut.’

Sayuri bit her lip. It was a bookstore after all, no time for raucous behaviour. At least it was not run by the old woman she had met running an onsen in the Land of Waterfalls, who had glared daggers at Sayuri simply for talking. She almost sealed her in a scroll and let it sink to the bottom of the hot spring, if only she wasn't using that one to store her yokan.

She caught Reika’s eye and they both dissolved into fits of giggles.

“You two are so immature,” Mayumi rolled her eyes.

“Yeah alright Miss Priss. Just cause Masuo is away, don’t have to be so frustrated.”

“Reika!”

Later, Sayuri lay on her stomach on her bed, propped up by her elbows, reading something she had picked out even though Reika had raised her eyebrows when she selected it.

It was a fun book, much more fun than whatever dusty tome Obito was reading, sitting with one leg crossed on the chair. He had recently made a point of letting her know when he was off on trips, so she could easily coordinate her days off around him.

“Why?”

“I want to make sure you’re training properly.” Although he didn’t seem to mind if she spent the whole day lying about. Relaxing the whole day off was rare however, and when they did spar, she could now just about manage to keep up with him, and grinned even when he had knocked her to the floor.

“What are you smiling at?” He asked, but he was laughing too.

Sayuri peered over her book at him. There he was reading...what was it?Tosa Nikki? Oh, so a history book.  
  
Dull, dull, and dull.

She watched him for a while, engrossed in his book. Then, when he looked up, smartly hid behind hers with a giggle.

After a few moments, Sayuri judged the coast was clear, and peered over the edge of the book again, studying him, the angles and lines of his face and his too long eyelashes that Mayumi would be harvesting and using in place of the stick on plastic ones she used on night outs; and those lips, that must be soft if only she was able to...

Sayuri stopped and looked down at the floral sheets of her bedspread trying to calm herself. She was being silly again. Nothing was going to happen. Ever. He wasn’t interested. He liked that woman he thought about when he gave off vacant stares into the distance. Probably.

She looked up again and Obito was staring right at her.

“You alright?”

“I’m fine.”

He looked at her intently for a few seconds but didn’t press it. “What are you reading?”

“Oh,” she looked down at her book, a mischievous grin forming, “Nothing.”

He raised an eyebrow and she hummed, picking up the book again and kicking her legs to and fro behind her. There was a sceptical mutter and the book was snatched from her hands.

He looked at the pages, then suddenly went very red, and dropped the book back on the bed.

Sayuri caught it as it bounced.

“Don’t you like this sort of stuff?”

“I don’t really care,” came the reply, his back to her. 

Sayuri grinned and rolled onto her back, then turned her head to the side to watch him, back to his boring old history book.

She opened her mouth, the tip of her tongue on her teeth, and closed it again.

“Um…”

A sigh. “What is it?”

“Can I…,” she swallowed, “can I go on a mission?”

The book came down, “A mission?”

“I mean, with you?”

Silence.

She bit her lip, suddenly interested in the grey scenery outside the window, “Never mind. I’ll just hold you up, I— I’m not strong, I’m not strong, I don’t want to…”

“Sayuri.”

Her eyes snapped to his at the commanding tone. Gods, how could a man be so handsome?

Another sigh.

“I’ll think about it.”

—

Obito was alerted to Sayuri’s mischievings when Pain grumbled something about “Doing my head in,” and “Whatever next,” using a special tone of complaint that was reserved only for Sayuri. She had been in a good mood that morning, humming a silly tune to herself as she went past, her face full of that grin. 

“Hello Pain-sama,” she exclaimed brightly, uncharacteristically addressing the ginger, “have you thought about doing up the swimming pool. You should. It would be nice practice you know, get shinobis into shape.”  
  
“Err… I haven’t?”

“Well you should, it would be a great idea!” And then she went skipping merrily on her way. 

He shot him a withering look. Obito didn’t need to react, hidden as he was behind his mask.

Of course, he should have sussed that she was up to something, and now it seemed he was going to find out what.

She had created a blockade in the hallway, her books spread out across the floor, herself crouched like a cat in the middle. The only acknowledgement she gave of his appearance was a lifting at the corners of her mouth that spelled trouble.

He came to a stop by one of the open books, careful not to tread on it. “What are you doing?” 

“Studying.” 

Although she’d been diligent as a child, he wasn’t going to have a dunce as a tool, he’d thought she’d gone off the idea of poring over books, ever since the time he… ever since she’d gotten ill. Obito looked down at the book at his feet and picked it up, one eye focused on Sayuri’s face for her reaction. She didn’t move and he returned his attention to the book. On closer inspection it seemed to be a text on history. It wasn’t as heavy as he would read, but still, an unusual choice for her. He supposed he should be grateful it wasn’t the ilk of what he had caught her with the other day. Not that it was any of his business of course, but it was clear she wasn’t really a child anymore. In some respects.

“Sayuri.” A few years ago the tone would have had her jumping off cliffs for him and even now, she lifted her head, giving him her full attention. “You need to move.”

Her bottom lip jutted out for a moment, and then she did as she was told, coming out of her hunched position...and ending up with her back against one wall and feet resting against the other. That is not what he meant, and she knew it, her look impish. So it was a bid for attention.

“What do you want?”

“Nothing from you. Tomoya-sensei is helping me pass my jounin exam. Then I can go on a mission with you and you can’t stop me.” She put the book over her face in a manner that told him she wasn’t going to let him argue the point.

Obito wasn't really sure where she had gotten the idea in her head, he hadn’t explicitly said he’d take her on a mission if she passed the rank of jounin. But then, he mused, he had made several half-baked excuses about her not being at a high enough level. It was true to start with, but now her performance had earned her the rank all but in name. He thought actually, she had already won the title, wasn’t she taking it a few years ago? It must have been when… he felt a little tightness in his chest at the thought. 

“What was your jounin exam like?” The book was resting on her lap, (She had changed position again so she was now crossed legged.) apparently relinquishing her vow of not talking to him.

“It was a long time ago, I can’t remember.” To quash the feeling of shame at the lie, (What on earth was happening to him? Why did it matter whether he lied to the girl or not?) he continued, “It’s probably different over here anyway, I’m not sure what I could do to help you.”

“You’re probably right,” she replied after a moment, and returned to the book, yawning as she did so. Obito reached out to brush a loose tendril of her hair behind her ear, to which she murmured contentedly.

“Well let me know when you pass,” he said, sealing his fate.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is the first chapter I’m posting ‘live’ as it were, and I just wanted to say hello, and thank you to the few people who have been kind enough to leave kudos and bookmarked this. It can be easy to get demotivated, and I am very grateful to those that do take their time to show their appreciation.
> 
> I am sorry though, for those of you who have marathoned 25 chapters now and still nothing has happened(!), but next chapter I promise.


	26. A poisonous affair

Chapter 26: A Poisonous affair

It was six weeks later when Sayuri proudly waved the certificate depicting her new rank in front of Obito, her smile smug. She had known the outcome of the physical aspect for a week, having triumphed in her one-on-one fight against Naoki, Reika’s sensei, but the written part, consisting of a two-hour exam, and a 3000 character essay, took a little longer to assess. 

Of course, Sayuri could think of a thousand things better to do than a boring essay, but Obito was a very good incentive, always hanging outside her door and bothering her, particularly right at the time she was taking a five-minute rest and listening to the radio.

“That doesn’t look much like writing to me.”

“I was writing,” Sayuri insisted, not looking at him, “You put me off.”

“Really… I guess you don’t want to go on a mission then?”

Sayuri all but tumbled off the bed and scampered up to him.

“Really? You’ll let me go with you? That’s a promise?”

“I..,” His gaze went to the floor for the briefest of seconds, then to a spot past Sayuri’s shoulder, “...yes.” Their eyes met and the seconds slowed, Sayuri running her tongue along her lips, which suddenly felt parched. She reached a hand out to him, and just when it was a hair-breadth from his cheek, he broke the connection and resumed a solemn, commanding posture.

“Don’t let me down.”

“I won’t,” Sayuri said to the empty air left in kamui’s wake.

She hadn’t let him down in the end, not with the essay, not with the fight, not with the written exam, the longest two hours in a room by herself (exams were taken individually). For that part, she managed to badger tips out of Masuo, who hesitated on whether it was cheating or not, before coming to the conclusion that Sayuri was going to need all the help she could get.

Sayuri, who had heard him mutter under his breath, scowled at him, and he rubbed the back of his neck when Mayumi admonished him.

“He just means it’s going to be difficult! But I know you can do it!”

“Yeah, it’s like really hard,” Masuo agreed, “But you’ll be fine!”

“Oh...okay.” Sayuri wasn’t sure whether to be encouraged or not.

“Cheer up!” Tomoya buoyed when Sayuri saw him next, nicely filling his role as her exam mentor (she didn’t need someone else’s help, thank you very much), “You’re super Sayuri! You can do anything!”

Sayuri didn’t feel very super. “I feel like I have one chance in a thousand.”

  
“Of course you do! And one is all you’re ever going to need! You forget the thousand, and concentrate on the one.”

“If you say so.”

Then the weeks passed, and Sayuri passed the exams, and all that worry was for nothing, because now she was going to go a mission with Obito and they were going to have the best time ever. Maybe it would be a tropical paradise, somewhere in the Land of Water (what was the point of having space-time if you didn’t go anywhere), and they would take a walk along the beach in the moonlight and he would stop and say that he had been waiting for this moment, and kiss her under the light of the stars.

Except it was months before Obito took her anywhere.

First, he was off on a long mission (“It’s boring political things, you wouldn’t like it.”). He told her six weeks, but it got to the seventh week and Sayuri reluctantly sought out Zetsu to ask about Obito’s whereabouts. She found him lurking in one of his favourite shadowy corners and tried to ignore the chill crawling up her spine.

“Aww are you worried? Poor little Sayuri-chan.” The honorific was no form of endearment. 

Sayuri tried to mimic an authoritative tone, she wouldn’t be cowed by a silly plant man,   
“I want to know if he’s alright.” 

**“Alright? Of course he’s not alright, he has very important work to do, and doesn’t need you getting in the way.”**

Sayuri at once felt how small and stupid she was, of course Obito didn’t need her, she was nothing, this word was hell….but no, she knew he cared, it was just bad thoughts that had entered her mind and they should go away right now! And they did.

And Obito did come home a week later, and she ran to him, despite him seeming on edge, an air about him that was almost hostile. She threw her arms around him, and said she was glad he was home. The tension from his body seemed to dissipate, and he told her he was glad to, and sorry he took so long. But he was only home for a day before she had to go off on a mission on her own, so obviously it would be rude to pester him about doing anything together. He wouldn’t want a childish nuisance.

Of course the she took on as a jounin where difficult within themselves, but her skills were adequate to tackle them, and with every A rank, and even S rank mission she successfully completed, she hoped that he would see she was ready, she was good enough, or whatever it was he was waiting for. He wouldn’t break his promise.

“So can we go now?’ she said four months later when they were both home for a few days,

“Go where?”

“On a mission! Did you forget?”

“...Yes, I suppose I did.”

“You should see a doctor about that. I heard memory loss in common in the elderly.”

A week later, it happened, taken by his kamui to a strange new place... 

Or, a small civilian village in the west of the Land of Fire. Apparently Obito had received information that the missing-nin, Ushioda Ichirou, hailing from Suna was due to pass through in a few days. 

Their job: extermination.

“You’re not trying to recruit?” she asked, keeping her voice low, as they trudged through the dirt road of the village. She had put on a transformation jutsu of course, even with suppressing her chakra to a civilian level, red hair was a bit too inconspicuous, so she copied an ordinary woman she had seen in Nishikawa, with one small change. The hair a deep brown, she had made it to just above her shoulders, but Obito hissed at her to change it, his voice sharp.

“What? Why?”

“No, I mean,” his voice soft again, “I like you with—you look better with long hair.” There, he had said it, he liked her.

Back to the present, he replied, “No, I don’t believe he’s suitable. Better to collect the bounty—we could do with the money.”

“Oh, I see,” she assented, as they stepped into the greengrocers. Pretending as wandering civilians, it was easy to explore the place, as you would do when you’re visiting somewhere new, but it also enabled them to get a good scope on the layout of the village, so they would be at a disadvantage when the fight did come. Ushioda had been on the run for six months, and wouldn’t be one to fight fair. 

“I’ll protect you, don’t worry,” Sayuri said between bites of cup ramen, as they rested in the traditional style inn.

“Protect me? Against what?”

Sayuri rolled her eyes. Ushioda of course! You’re worried about him, aren’t you?”

Obito turned to her, and Sayuri again, tried not to stare, as she had been doing ever since they had arrived at the inn, and he had dispelled his disguise of a plain looking man (if red hair was a no, an orange mask would be too). Sayuri much preferred his real face. 

“Why would I be worried?”

“Well, you’re not eating,” She gestured with her chopsticks to her noodles. 

“I’m just not hungry, that’s all.”

Sayuri paused, bringing up another stick full of noodles to her lips, “You need to eat, keep your strength up.”

He looked at her for a moment then said, “You’re right. I should eat something.”

Later, when she was tucked up into her futon (She had laid two out side by side but he had shifted them apart,) Sayuri mused;

“We could have gone to the Land of Water.”

“Why are you so obsessed with going to the Land of Water?”

“I don’t know, you’re the one who goes there all the time,” she muttered. Then, louder: “There’s beaches there, I bet it’s incredibly romantic...I mean, it would be nice to go swimming.”

Luckily he laughed, “I’ll just tell our target to meet us on an island shall I?

“Yes,” Sayuri replied seriously.

—

Zetsu arrived at dawn, emerging through the tatami floor. Obito was awake to greet him of course, he didn’t sleep much, not anymore. He had the Zetsu cells to thank for that particular advantage. It didn’t allow him to stay awake indefinitely though, however much he wanted to escape the nightmares that plagued his rest. And there again, as he straightened himself up from leaning on the window, the pull of fatigue he’d been trying to ignore for the past couple of days.

Tonight. He’d sleep tonight.

“Going well?”

“Yes,” Obito replied, his tone formal, “I have the girl tracking the chakra of the civilians. As soon as Ushioda arrives, we’ll know.” It was important to emphasise her usefulness, that was the only reason for keeping her around after all, not for any silly sentimental reasons. 

Zetsu looked over his shoulder and Obito followed his gaze to where Sayuri was sleeping, her hair tousled against her face, one leg sticking out of the covers. He had learned, watching her, she tended to wriggle about in the night. Gods help her poor teammates. Sayuri was a hardly a tall person, but Obito was sure someone must have lost an eye or two on account of her bony elbows flailing about the place. Not that it mattered. As long as she did her job. But still, there was an uncomfortable twinge in his stomach, and a sudden desire to put himself between Sayuri and Zetsu, to protect her? A sure sign he had been on this hell far too long, he must be going mad. He turned back to the window, and the feeling went as quickly as it came.

“Keep me informed of other matters,” he said, and Zetsu disappeared again through the floor.

—

Sayuri woke to the sunlight streaming through the window, a rarity in Amegakure. This place, with its wooden houses and wide streets was more like her childhood village, nostalgic, in a way.

“Why didn’t you wake me? I was going to have my turn keeping watch,” she admonished Obito, who had taken up position against the window frame, staring out into the day.

“I didn’t want to wake you,” he replied, not turning to her, “You need your energy.”

“What about your energy?”

“I don’t really need to sleep.”

“You don’t eat and you don’t sleep, what are you, some sort of vampire?” His lips formed a sort of half smile, and her voice went soft as she said, “Is it because of this?” And touched his bare arm under the short sleeves of his t-shirt, the flesh a mottled patchwork of pink and stark white, slowly morphing from one shade to the next, as if it didn’t know what colour it was trying to be. She had noticed it late last evening, as well as the line down the middle of his toned chest when he peeled off his jumper. In spite of appearances, his skin was warm under her touch, and she looked deep into his dark eyes and––

He jerked his arm away and frowned. “We’ve got a lot of work to do. Stop fooling around.”

The waspish comment set the mood for the day, and Obito remained standoffish well into the afternoon, as they trawled the whole length of the village, taking note of the terrain, spots where one might conceal themselves, little side streets, and hidden exits. 

When she suggested checking out some sort of flower exhibition he snapped at her,

“We don’t have time to look at pissing flowers.”

Sayuri, who couldn’t for the life of her figure out why he was being so horrible all of a sudden, murmured something in agreement, and turned herself away from him so he wouldn’t see the tear fall down her cheek. It was hopeless, this. Maybe it would be better to just go on a date with Taigen, who had propositioned her two days before the mission. At the time, she had stalled and said she would need some time to think about it, although she really had no intention of going out with him. He was nice enough, but he wasn’t… Maybe it wasn’t such a bad idea after all.

There was a sigh behind her. “We’re done for the day. Let’s go back.” Sayuri took the proffered hand, but there was no comfort in the grasp of a stranger, especially as he was probably doing it just for effect, her theory confirmed when he hastily dropped her transformed hand as soon as they arrived back in the room. 

So followed a tense, awkward evening, eating in silence, showering in silence, counting the threads of the tatami in silence. Such was the relief at the unanimous decision to turn in early, both in their own futons, as far apart as possible.

—

She blinked in the gloom, following the sounds of her rude awakening. Obito was shuddering under the blanket, tossing from side to side. Was this why he didn’t want to go to sleep the night before? He had nightmares? And she had been so selfish for that not even to occur to her. How he must be suffering. Not knowing what to do, she crept towards him, and pressed her hand against his brow, which was soaked with sweat.

“Shh it’s okay...nothing can hurt you.” The other hand she placed over his heart, which was beating erratically, but slower as she stayed there, continuing to speak words of comfort. He settled and it was when she moved away to return to her own futon that she heard it.

“Rin.” 

And again, “Rin.” He spoke it perhaps a dozen times more in the next half hour, his nightmares returning twice, and each time Sayuri going to him. He spoke it, rather shouted it, once or twice in the midst of his nightmares, and then a few times more, softly, when the bad dreams seemed to have passed. Rin. That must be the woman he liked. What comfort could Sayuri possibly be then, if she wasn’t her? The nightmares were abating under her care at least, and she wouldn’t, would never abandon him. Whatever help she could be, she would give it to him gladly. So she lay down to sleep beside him, resting her head against him.

Just as she fell asleep, the faintest whisper:

“Sayuri.”

Even if it was a dream, she smiled.

—

The following morning was better. Obito wasn’t as tense as he was, (the sleep had done him good) nor was he completely relaxed. Was it that he was embarrassed by her? Sayuri had awoken in her own futon, on her own side of the room, so he must have put her there.

Sayuri blamed the disturbed sleep, the energy spent on tracking the civilians’ chakra (that had mingled into one indistinguishable blur), and the heavy slice of chocolate cake (an unexpected generosity), for her not keeping her curiosity to herself.

“Who’s Rin?”

At once, his fingers were hard against her throat, his voice steel,

“Where did you hear that name?”

“I just,” Sayuri whimpered, tears threatening to spill, “You were talking in your sleep, a, a nightmare, I—I’m sorry, I didn’t mean…”

“Oh…” his grip loosened, then moved so he was cradling her head as she sobbed against his shoulder, fingers running through her hair, “I’m sorry. I truly am.”

He took her to the flower show after that, saying that they needed to see there anyway, although Sayuri spent more time deciding on which flower crown to get than she did visualising a fight between the watercolours of chrysanthemums, and Obito didn’t complain a bit.

When they returned to the inn, she ran to the bathroom mirror to try on her new purchase, seeing how the blend of buttercups, cosmos and apple blossoms looked against her red hair. 

“What do you think?” She asked, coming out of the bathroom to show Obito, who did nothing but stare at her for a long moment.

“It looks...nice.”

“Oh, does it look silly?” she reached up to take it off, but he shook his head.

“No, it looks good—” He stepped towards her. 

She returned the step towards him. “Sorry, I know we should be working...”

“Don’t worry about that.” They were standing nose to nose now, and her gaze fell to his lips. She traced them with her finger, slowly, feeling the curve of them.

“About earlier,” he began, halting her movements, “Are you okay?”

“Yes,” her hand hovered in the air, gaze travelling to his eyes, “I’m alright.”

He twirled a lock of her hair in his fingers. “Good.” 

A prickling at the edge of her mind had her whip her head to the right.

“He’s here.”

—  
Sayuri had been anticipating the fight for the past few days, worrying if she was going to be good enough for Obito. She should have worried more. 

The fight itself seemed easy enough, Obito had taken Ushioda into the other dimension from the offset, and Sayuri had started the attack. Ushioda’s moves, which although begot a likeness of his apparent prowess, seemed somewhat underwhelming, giving Sayuri opportunity to close in on him. 

Of course, she shouldn't have assumed too much, and it was this miscalculation that had her buffeted by Ushioda’s wind release, her body covered by stinging cuts. And then she had to scramble to her feet before Ushioda attacked again. His method of stalling her was apparently whichAs she scrambled to her feet, she was hit by a well aimed kunai from Ushioda. It was a poor attempt at stalling her, as it just bounced off her arm, leaving barely a scratch.  
  
Next she was weaving signs for a water wave jutsu, which knocked him back and gave her just enough time to get behind him and slit his throat. She made an effort to keep her eyes on him as the blood spewed out of his neck. When Ushioda did slump to the floor, she looked to Obito at where he was standing to the side, sharingan activated. Poised as if to join the fight, although he hadn’t lifted a finger. It would have been quicker with the two of them as well. Sayuri hoped, at least, that Obito would have stepped in if things got to critically dangerous levels.

“So what do we have to do now?” She knew the procedure for targeted killings well, but still she looked to him for guidance.

“Well, we’ll need to take the body to the collection point.”

Sayuri nodded and stepped back, hugging her arms to herself. Was the kamui dimension always this chilly?

As Obito crouched by the body, she found herself growing colder still.

“Tobi.”

“What?”

“I’m cold.” 

Obito himself sighed, not looking at her.

“Well, put something on them.”

“Oh, yes,” she said, and retrieved a blanket from where she had it stored in a scroll. It did little to help, and she was beginning to feel rather light headed. She had done it though, defeated Ushioda. Didn’t that prove to him just how capable she was? He had to like her now, he had to. She pulled the blanket tighter, really, did Obito not have any heating in here?

When she came to, her whole body was on fire, as if she was being burned from the inside. She could make out voices, though she couldn’t discern any speech or who the speaker was. Speakers? Her head swam, round and round and round.

A pinch to her arm, and she died once more.

Agony. If it had hurt before, the pain was unimaginable now, and she opened her mouth to beg it to stop, to free her from this prison of pain, but all that came out were screams.

“What the hell are you doing?!” Came the distinct voice of Obito. No, in this tone, Madara.  
  
A woman’s voice. Somewhat familiar. “It’s not simple, you can’t just take away the poison and be done, there’s a fight to get it out.”

“Then give her a sedative.”

“I’ve already given her the strongest dose. She either carries on screaming, or she dies.”

No, please. She didn’t want to die. Please, just make the pain stop. Please let it stop.

He was beside her.

“Sayuri, look at me.” That commanding tone. One that she couldn’t disobey. She opened her eyes to his sharingan. She had not the strength to fight against the genjutsu and was pulled back into sleep. 

She blinked. Back in her room. The pain was gone, barely an ache left. She sat up.

There he was, as handsome as ever. She could spend days on end, just staring at him. Though, it wasn’t any use now, waiting for him to make a move. He had this Rin. What was she, Sayuri? Still, it wouldn’t hurt to try.

And she pressed her lips to his.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Have a beautiful week darlings!


	27. Kisses and confessions

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you Shiva for being the first to leave a comment. I do so appreciate it. 
> 
> Important notes about updates for this fic, below.

At first she moved her lips carefully, tentatively, against his, revelling in the softness of them. A tiny ball of something was forming in her chest, growing larger by the second, and then wondrously, he was kissing her back, and her hands found a hold somewhere around his shoulder blades, whilst his arms embraced her waist, and she was floating, and emboldened deepened the kiss and—

It stopped abruptly when he pulled away.

“Sayuri, stop, stop, you’re not thinking straight, you need to rest.”

Her hands, which were circling the space in the air where his body was, dropped in confusion. 

“You don’t...you don’t want me…” The realisation made her stomach jolt and not in the carefree, floating feeling she felt before. This was a dread, a sickening falling feeling. She shouldn’t have done it. Of course, of course he didn’t feel that way about her. How could she be so stupid? 

“Is it because,” she said, swallowing in an attempt to stop the tears, “I’m not Rin?”

Obito paused in retrieving his mask from where he had left it on the side, his face forming into something like sorrow before it went stoic and he replaced the orange shield, once again shutting her out.

He was leaving. She needed to do something. Instinctively, she reached out and grabbed his hand. He didn’t try and pull away, just half turned to face the wall, not looking at her.

“I just want, I want you to be happy. I know you’re not. No one in their right mind would be doing the things you are But, even if it’s just a short while, just now, even if it’s just temporary, before your plan is realised I don’t care. I just...”

Her voice trailed off when she realised he wasn’t reacting, and her grasp went limp, her hand loosely hitting the bed.

Then he was walking out of the door, and there was nothing she could do to stop him, except… She was so stupid for saying it out loud, but she couldn’t help herself.

“I love you.”

He paused halfway out of the door, his fingers tense against the frame.

“Get some rest.”

When he was gone, Sayuri sobbed into her pillow, wondering about how it could have gone   
so wrong.

—

She spent most of the day in bed, only venturing out to the convenience store to get herself a little snack, thankfully avoiding Obito. She had considered going out to train, just to spite him, but of course he was right, she could manage little physical activity, and rest was the 

She was slow in getting up, dragging herself into the shower and standing under the blistering water for far longer than necessary. Part of her fatigue wasn’t only due to physical trauma. She shoved on any old thing that wasn’t pyjamas, and hopped out of the window to run outside, despite the torrential downpour. Normally she would use such weather (and the fact she was still recovering) as an excuse to stay inside, maybe read one of her favourite books, imagine herself as the heroine and make faces at Obito over the cover, all while he would smile and shake his head at her.

No, she didn't want to think about him, he didn’t care so she wouldn’t. Sayuri knocked on the door a bit more forcefully than she had intended.

Mayuri opened it up dressed in a fluffy jumper and skirt, her hair tied haphazardly in a bun.

“Sayuri? You okay?”

Sayuri promptly burst into tears.

“Oh honey,” Mayumi comforted, pulling Sayuri towards her and ushering her inside.

Mayumi’s bedroom ceiling was adorned with hundreds of paper butterflies, some big, some small, a rainbow of colours and patterns, each exquisitely crafted. Mayumi should have been an artist, if there wasn’t such a high demand for ninja.

The girl in question came into the room with two mugs, and placed them down on the side.

“There we go, hot chocolate. Now do you want to talk about it?” She asked, sitting on the bed beside Sayuri.

Sayuri shook her head no.

“That’s okay, we don’t have to,” Mayumi smiled brightly.

They spent the evening laughing over a film, and rushing out to the nearest takeaway place to order gyuudon and cursing when the electricity went out and cheering when it came back on again 20 minutes later.

“You know you can tell me anything,” Mayumi said after they turned the light off at night and were lying there in the darkness.

“Yes, of course, I know,” Sayuri replied.

But she couldn’t.

She watched Mayumi in the late morning, styling her golden curls and putting on lipstick. Masuo had worked the night shift, but she was heading out to see him in the afternoon.

“You’ll be okay on your own won’t you?”

“Yes, I’ll find something to do. Maybe ask Tomoya for knitting tips or something.”

Mayumi laughed. “Oh Masuo-kun’s been getting that too.”

In fact Sayuri didn’t seek out her sensei, but headed straight home. She almost got excited when she neared home, but then remembered Obito didn’t want to see her, so she didn’t want to see him.

He was waiting for her in the hallway. Eurgh, she thought he had gone...Probably checking up on her or something.

“I spent the night at Mayumi’s,” she volunteered, before he could ask what it was she had been doing.

His reaction was devoid of the arrogant smugness she expected. “Oh, okay...Are you feeling better now? “  
  
Maybe that was it. Perhaps he only was concerned that she was ill before and now if he saw she was alright, things would be different.

“Yes, I’m much better. I’m perfectly fine.”

“Good,” he reached out his hand to her, hesitantly, “I don’t know what I’d do if you really—”

“Really what?”

The hand dropped. “Nevermind…What you said the other day…”

“When?” Sayuri feigned confusion. How dare he make her say it again. He only wanted to laugh at her, to say how stupid she was.

“Oh, no, nothing. That’s—I’m glad you’re well, that’s all.”

That would have been the end of the conversation, except Sayuri thought back to how Mayumi looked with all her makeup done and how her curves nicely filled out the dress she was wearing, and how her own scrawny, plain self would never be able to pull it off.

She wondered what Rin must have looked like. Someone tall and glamorous she expected.

“Was she pretty?”

“Who?”

“Rin.”

“Oh.” There was a faraway look in his eyes. “Yes, very pretty.”

“Not like me then.”

He looked at her strangely for a moment and then he said, “No, she wasn’t like you at all.”

Well at least that made things clear Sayuri thought, and when she saw Taigen next she practically marched up to him and told him that they were going on a date.

“Oh,” he said, after he had gotten over the initial shock, “that sounds great! Where do you want to go?”

Sayuri bit her lip. She shouldn’t have said yes, this was a stupid idea. But she was going to go through with it, see if she wouldn’t. “A café would be nice,” she smiled.  
  
It was nice, and Sayuri felt good in the new dress she had bought for the occasion, giving it a couple of spins in front of the mirror in the morning. Taigen complimented her on it, and she smiled and thanked him, but she couldn’t help but think of how Obito had looked at her when she came down the stairs earlier. If she was stupid, she would have mistaken it for one of longing, but she wasn’t, she knew he didn’t feel that way about her.

Taigen was kind and gentlemanly. The conversation, mostly revolving around recent missions, was pleasant. When he leaned in for a kiss, she returned it, and it was fine, but she didn’t like not being in control, and her mind was elsewhere. All the time home she couldn’t help but think how horrible she was being, leading him on like that, when Taigen had been so nice.

And when her hand snuck between her legs in the middle of the night, it was not Taigen’s name that comes out in a breathy moan in the darkness.

She resolved to call it off the next day, and to his credit, Taigen took it gracefully when she told him it wasn’t working for her, and just needed some space for herself at the moment. It was a lie she was used to, denying someone’s existence. 

But she couldn’t help but feel terrible, and it is all she could do not to collapse into Obito’s arms as soon as she got in the door. He was waiting for her again.

“Do you want something to eat?”

She realised she would and nodded eagerly and things almost seemed like normal again, except when the meal was ready he left her to eat it on her own. Things carried on in this strange manner for about a week. Obito was there, but he wasn’t. He would make sure she was eating properly and that she was getting enough rest, but once these daily questions had been ticked off his checklist, he would mostly leave her alone, and when he didn’t rebuff any attempts at conversation, their talk was jarring and strained

And then he was going away again, to act upon his plans in far away lands. Although when Sayuri asked if she could come too, he looked troubled for a moment, then said,

“I don’t think that’s a good idea.”

She should have just wished him well, she was sure Rin was probably patient and understanding and perfect, but she couldn’t help but say,

“Why ever not?!” He didn’t want to be near her, that was it.

He sighed. “I think it’s best if you stay home for a while.”

Sayuri nodded. She would do as he said. She wouldn’t argue. She would behave exactly as he wanted her to. 

“Would Rin have...Would Rin come with you?”

His reply was a few seconds delayed. “I don’t think Rin would want to be anywhere near me right now.” 

“I bet she would have. You’d rather she was alive and I was dead!”

And she ran away to cry herself into her pillow.

Obito came to her a minute later, threading his fingers through her hair. “Oh, Sayuri...please don't cry.” Why did he care? “Sayuri? Sweetheart...”

Her heart leapt at the term of endearment, but then she remembered how he had pushed her away.

“Go away, don’t call me that if you don't even like me.”

His hand stilled. “I never said I didn’t like you.”

No, he didn’t say it, but he didn’t have to. It was obvious what he thought of her. She sat up to look at him coolly, “Then why won't you let me go with you?”

The next words he bit out, his jaw tense. “Sayuri, you almost died. What do you expect me to do? Just let you brazenly waltz into danger? What good would come of that?”

“I’m sure you would be a lot happier with me gone,” she retorts.

The anger had completely melted from his face, and his expression had morphed into one of defeat.

“Don’t say that. Sayuri, please don’t say that. I don't want to lose you.” Please. When she looked at him in silence, trying to see through his feigned concern, he continued, “I was so proud of you. Of how far you come. I let you take on Ushioda on your own, it was obvious you didn’t need my assistance. But then he had hurt you and I really thought… “he trailed off. He almost looked as if he was going to cry. Silly really she was the crybaby.

She sat up and leaned into him, resting her head on his chest, linking her fingers with his. They were quiet for a few moments, his fingers muddling through the locks of her hair, her leaning her head on his chest, listening to the beat of his heart.

“Well,” she said, after a little while, “I think you should be more worried about yourself if you go off to the Land of Water on your own.”

“Is that so?”

“Yes, you could have a heart attack and have no one to help you to the old people’s home.”

He laughed.

“I can stay if you like.”

“But don’t you have things to do?”

“They can wait.”

“Good,” she replied, and turned to look at him, the kiss the briefest of touches to gauge his reaction. He didn’t push her away this time, only stroked the side of her face, his touch featherlight.

She sighed contentedly, and rested her head against his chest again, falling asleep to him stroking her hair.

—

She woke up to find him on the balcony, staring at the night sky, the crescent moon peeking through the thin cloud. She snuck herself under his arm, and his hand came down to stroke the top of her head. It still wasn’t any easier to tell what he was thinking—even without the mask. He seemed content to hold her for a while, his hand running up and down her arm. 

A cloud passed over the moon, hiding it completely.

“What if it’s cloudy?”  
  
Obito took a few moments to answer, as if waking from a trance. “Hmm?”

“What if it’s cloudy? When you want to genjutsu the moon?”

There was a sound of amusement and he stooped to rest his chin atop her. “Then I suppose I’ll have to wait.”

“You should check the weather,” she turned around to nuzzle into his chest, “Just in case.”

He chuckled. “Maybe I will.”

They were quiet again for a few moments, him running his hand through her hair, and apologising when he tugged a bit too hard upon encountering a tangle.

“Is she going to be there? In your world?” She didn’t need to say who she was talking about.

His answer was surprisingly uncertain. “I guess.”

“What about anyone else?”

“Haven’t decided.”

Sayuri lifted her head to look up at him, “Sorry I keep bringing it up. It must be hard. You were together a long time?”

“We were hardly together.” 

“But...you loved her?” Her touch was light against his chest, “You still love her?”

His lips curved in a cynical manner. “Who can love in a hell like this?” He scoffed. Not for the first time, Sayuri wondered what had happened to make him like this. She wouldn’t give up on him though, never ever, and when her hand settled over his heart, feeling the hastened beat under her palm, he clutched it and held it there.

Their eyes met.

The kiss this time was slow, tentative, and the ball in Sayuri’s chest was forming again, and when she knotted her hands in his hair to deepen the kiss, the energy swelled and exploded into a thousand fireworks.

When they eventually parted she stopped a while to admire his face, which she noticed with satisfaction, had taken on a flushed appearance.  
  
And he was still the most beautiful man she had ever met.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for sticking by me darlings. The closer I get to what I want in this story the more I worry about what people think. And I’m thinking, do people want to see them suffer or are you actually rooting for their happiness.
> 
> Which comes to my little announcement: I’m taking a month off. (Probably six weeks ish to next update) I appreciate all of you that do take your time to encourage me, but truthfully, I am feeling a bit worn down with it all. And, I recently had a new (kind of old that ties in with other things but at the moment they’re secret and part of my master plan but hush hush) mini plot idea for the next arc, and I need to do some more planning. 
> 
> And I will properly give myself a break from this fic and write something for my Loki thing. (Though that’s not even a proper story, just my breathing space.)
> 
> See you next time.
> 
> Ladle.


	28. Intermission

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi darling.

Obito did leave the next afternoon, but not before he had served a large helping of pancakes for breakfast. Sayuri had been surprised when she came down in the morning, for even though she had returned to her bedroom the night before, he didn’t join her, and she assumed he had already left. Not that she expected him to come to her room even if he was around, of course, why would she think such a silly thing like that? But as she lay awake that night she couldn’t help but worry for him. 

She wondered what he had been doing, and whether he had gotten any sleep at all. He seemed fine enough, a tentative gentleness that was characteristic of him lately.

“You sure you’ll be okay on your own?” 

“Why?” she smirked, licking syrup off of her fingers, “Think I’m going to get in trouble?”

“You might do.”

On impulse, she leapt over the table to give him a syrupy kiss, pinning him against the countertop. A hitch in his breath gave her entrance to invade his mouth, and explore it firmly with her tongue. It was a little clumsy perhaps, but there was that rush of heat that came coupled with the sensation of her feeling very good indeed, and as she pulled away Sayuri vowed (quietly to herself) to get as much practice as possible.

Then she took in Obito’s appearance, cheeks flushed, knuckles strained pale against the countertop, and the rush of adrenaline soon dissipated. 

“Was it okay?”

He nodded, seemingly unable to express himself verbally, but if he thought that was enough to ease her worry, he was wrong. 

“You sure?” She bit her lip, “Did you not like it?”

He lifted his hand to run his fingers through a loose tendril of her hair, and in that move, his speech was restored.

“Oh, Sayuri. I was just a bit…surprised, that’s all.”

“Then, you wouldn’t mind doing it again?”

“No,” a small lifting at the corners of his mouth, “I wouldn’t mind.”

“Good.”

—

The wait proved to be almost unbearable. It wasn’t the first time she had waited for him, but this time was different, and nearly every waking hour was filled with wondering where he was, was he safe, did he miss her? When Team Tomoya met up at Kisetsu Shoku to relive old times, she had prepared herself particularly for the scrutiny of Masuo, but he, bleary eyed and worn, seemed more interested in his coffee. Luckily. 

Tomoya of course, was set on giving helpful advice, such as not to eat pears and to avoid white spiders. And Ezume, well, he teased her and asked if she was going to manage two ice cream sundaes by herself. Sayuri insisted that she was, thank you for asking, and made sure to eat both desserts to completion, even if she did feel a little sick afterwards.   
  
The comings and goings of Amegakure gave her temporary distraction from her pining thoughts, including being accosted by Reika’s brother Taro, who now, to her dismay, stood at the same height as Sayuri herself. Taro and his genin teammates were in search of a dog as part of a mission; their technique seemed to involve shouting across the street and asking everyone in their path, until a store owner came out and told them to be off as they were scaring away customers. 

Then came Mayumi’s unexpected news of abortion, mentioned casually on a coffee date. It wasn’t so much the news of the procedure really, but kunoichi took contraception as a matter of course; in case a mission went in a horribly   
wrong direction. This wasn’t that thankfully.

Mayumi shrugged, as if it was a trivial matter. “Accidents happen. And I’m not ready to have a baby...not yet anyway.”

Sayuri wished she could find the right comforting words to say. She couldn’t think of what it would be like if it was herself. It made her own stomach clench, even though she knew that there wasn’t any possibility for herself, being so much less experienced than her friend.

Then, at long last, two weeks after Obito’s departure, (though it may as well have been two months,) he was home, and Sayuri practically threw herself into his arms, such was her joy. 

“Would you like to sleep together?” She asked, taking note of his pale, drawn appearance, “I was just getting ready for bed.”

He looked at her, startled.

“Sayuri...don’t you think it’s a bit too soon?”

“Oh!” Sayuri’s face heated as she comprehended his confusion, “I didn't mean that…. I meant just, to go to bed, to sleep.”

He nodded slightly, and let go of her, then slipped into bed and was out almost as soon as his head hit the pillow. Sayuri went as far as she could on the other side to give him space, watching him a while, his expression for once peaceful, then settled to cautiously rest her head on his chest. 

That was how she woke, blinking in the daylight with Obito stroking her hair, looking all the better for having a good night's sleep. It would be the first of many mornings, and although Sayuri was never sure how much sleep he actually got (Apart from times when he was brought to absolute exhaustion, she normally fell asleep before him and woke afterwards.), he would always be there.  
  
—

And so the summer slipped into autumn, Sayuri barely having time to lament the last of the late flowers before that too dissolved into winter, the days rushing by in a frenzied, giddy blur. 

Of course, there was still work to go to, and that was how she found herself on a crisp winter morning spilling the blood of missing Suna-nin. The red droplets stained the wings of the paper butterflies littering the desert floor before melting into the sand. They had lasted such a short time, Mayumi’s paper creations, unleashed from a small scroll with just a single handsign. It had taken Sayuri at least five times to get them inside the scroll, and that was not counting all the work she had put in beforehand. It was all about the timing, Sayuri doing the sealing at the exact right moment to store Mayumi’s jutsu in the scroll, ready to be used again at a later date. The jutsu was used up in a few seconds, and it probably wasn’t worth it, the opponents weren’t that formidable, but her stamina had depleted since tracking them through the night and well, she wanted to show off. 

The winter sun was half-way down the sky by the time Sayuri departed the agreed place to drop-off the bodies. At least she wasn't against someone like Akio Suda, a known renegade from Suna. The catch should have been made by Sunagakure themselves, but aristocrats from the Land of Wind liked to outsource these kind of things. Of course, it didn’t help relations between the two villages, although maybe Tomoya could sweet talk the Kazekage on his latest diplomatic venture. Such missions were beyond the scope of Sayuri’s own abilities.

She should have guessed that as a jounin, solo missions would become the norm, but the first time she had received such an assignment she had lain awake, thinking about what it had been like a few years ago when she had been on her own. Of course, things were very different then, she was just on the cusp of adolescence, now, a couple of months past 17, she was more than capable. 

She still liked being home however, and dusk had well and truly arrived by time she arrived, the familiar chakra signature present as she stepped over the genkan. Sayuri rushed down the corridor, ready to be in his arms again, and came to a sudden stop at Zetsu lurking in the middle of the hallway.

The lopsided smile was a grimace in the shadows of the hallway.

“Hello Sayuri-chan,” Zetsu said, in that sickly sweet voice of his, and Sayuri tried to keep the familiar biting of her lip subtle.

Sayuri looked him in the eye. “Hello Zetsu-san.” Obito’s chakra signature was to the right of him, behind the shut door, along with Pain and Konan. The low hum of voices crept through the cracks. If Sayuri strained her ears she might be able to decipher the conversation, but she had no need to eavesdrop. She headed for the stairs, telling herself that Zetsu was not staring at her back, and she was just being paranoid.

“Aww you going to bed already little girl?” 

Sayuri jumped, and then she had to look round, she just had to.

And the yellow eye met hers.  
  
**“Night night.”**

She raced up the stairs two at a time and slammed her bedroom door shut behind her, as if it would serve as any protection against wall transcending plants. The tremble in her hands ceased only after she had been in the shower for a time. Why was she being so childish? It wasn’t as if Zetsu was doing anything particularly malicious, she thought, as she squeezed far too much shampoo out into her hand. Still, she couldn’t shake the sickening feeling that occurred whenever Zetsu was about, and emerged from the bedroom trying to fight back the tears.

Obito was waiting for her, sitting on the end of her bed. 

“Sweetheart? Are you okay?”

She nodded, but it was very watery and before the first tear had reached her chin his arms were around her, pulling her into a very tight hug.

“Was it something that happened on a mission?”

“Yeah...just good to be home.”

—

As a jounin, Sayuri took her duties seriously and devoted her time away from missions to honing her craft (more than once a training session ended with pinning him to the wall, or pushing him to his knees, his mask thrown to the side,) but some days were simply for lazing about, and eating very good chocolate cake from a favourite bakery.

“You’ll get crumbs all over the bed.”

Sayuri swallowed the bite of sweet, thick cream, and fluffy, chocolatey sponge, took the fork out of her mouth, and grinned.

“So?”

He rolled his eyes at that, but there was a hint of mirth about his features that he couldn’t quite fully conceal.

After she had devoured the cake, all on her own, (Although she did offer Obito a piece, to which he refused.) Sayuri flopped down across the bed on her back, and proceeded to draw out a wooden amulet hanging from a piece of coord. She let it dangle, swinging it to and fro. She had bought it from a trader on the side of the road during her most recent adventure. It was one of those hand carved pieces that those who were spiritually inclined would swear by. This one was said to bring you happiness, or at least, that was according to the trader she had bought it from. Sayuri was sure she had met him before, peddling his wares on the side of the road, and remembered him as the one who made comments about her hair some time ago. Although when she made references to that, the trader just said, 

“Meet many people on the road. People aren’t always as they seem, so you best be careful.”

Sayuri scowled at that. She already had Tomoya-sensei offering cryptic advice, she didn’t need anyone else. She caught the amulet in her hand and sat up, twisting her body to face Obito. He looked bewildered as she placed the coord around his neck.

“What’s that?”

“An amulet, it’s meant to bring you happiness,” she replied, and tilted her head to the side in thought, “...It’s not working.”

His face morphed into that half smile of his, when he was amused but trying to pretend he wasn’t, and she leaned forward to seal the expression with a kiss.

Later she sighed contentedly as he ran the brush through her hair, intermittent pauses when he would take out the red strands caught up in the bristles. Her sighs turned wistful as she stared at the bin where the wrapper of the chocolate cake was kept.

“I want more cake.”

“Then get more cake.”

“I will. But I can’t go yet.”

“Why’s that then?”

“Because I can’t go before four.”

“And why can’t you go before four?”

“Because that’s when they change shifts. If I go before four, I have to see the same people again, and they might judge me.”

“Well… they might not remember you.”

“Yes they do, they always smile at me, and they know what I have.”

“I see.”

The only sound was the brush running through her hair while Sayuri contemplated her dilemma. Then it came to her. It was simple really.

“I’ve got it!” Sayuri flung her arms about in excitement, only to be met with her elbow impacting on bone and a groan from Obito behind her. She turned round to see him clutching his nose. 

“Are you okay? I’m sorry!”

He waved his hand at her. “I’m fine, just...Sayuri, be careful will you. Mind your elbows.”

“Sorry…”

He beckoned her towards him and she leaned forward to rest her head on his chest, relaxing as his fingers ran up and down her arms, tracing the scars and marks missions had left on her body. He would press small, gentle kisses to the cuts in the small hours of the night, the new and the old, even the faint, tiny needle marks from years ago. 

She had been frustrated at first, when the scars on her body seemed to multiply with each mission, but he always seemed to return unscathed. The marks he did have were older, and unchanged, and she made it her mission to memorise every one of them.

“What’s this one?” She asked, tracing the scar that ran a millimetre thick across his thigh. She was slow and deliberate in her memorisation, running her fingernail across them with the slightest amount of force.

“That’s from…” a pause, this one a second longer than when he had to catch his breath whenever she touched him about there, “...my friend.”

“Didn’t think you had friends,” she teased.

Presently his fingers moved away from her arm and tucked a strand of her hair behind her ear.

“What’s your great plan then?”

“I’ll use a henge! That way I will be in disguise and no one will know.”

“Right. And who will you be disguised as?”

“Pain.”

There was a pause and then the sound of a chuckle behind her.   
  
Sayuri continued, “I’ll go in and they’ll say ‘Oh esteemed leader, take as many cakes as you want.’ It’s a great plan.”

And then Obito properly burst into laughter, warm and genuine, and fell back onto the bed, taking Sayuri with him. She giggled along with him, her heart filling with joy as she turned to face him, one hand pressed against the covers beside his head. He looked young, almost boyish in his joy.

“I love you.” Was what she wanted to say, but didn’t. Why ruin the moment? Occasionally, not often, but once or twice, in the midst of a nightmare, he had uttered Rin’s name in his sleep. She would frown at his perfect, beautiful face, then frown at herself. It wasn’t his fault . She couldn’t make him love her. He would be extra-specially kind to her the next day, as if he knew it troubled her, but whether his comforting stemmed from guilt, or to further rub salt into the wound, she wasn’t sure. It felt genuine, all the same. And for once, Sayuri couldn’t bring herself to care. So what if it was all just an illusion? She could pretend too, just for now. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It makes me smile whenever I get a kudos on this story, trickling through to my mailbox every few days or so. 
> 
> And for the comments, thank you so much for visiting my dusty corner of the internet.
> 
> Going through some tough times personally right now. Updates may still be infrequent as I sort things out.


	29. Hell

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi Darlings. Hope everyone is keeping themselves safe and well. And I would also like to thank you all for leaving me with many kudos, I hope you are all enjoying the story. Honestly, the following chapter took me so long to write, with many different scenes and narratives that I decided not to include/ condensed. I am very sorry for what you are about read and apologies that it is not a lengthy chapter considering the extra wait time.

Sayuri should have known it was stupid of her to think that things would be okay, that she would be happy. Only an idiot would think that.

It all started with the funeral of Hirayama Taro. Well, she supposed it really started with his death, but Sayuri didn’t know it at the time. She was busy cutting down Iwa-nin to the west, swinging her katana to and fro. It went well enough, despite the disadvantages of the terrain allowing her enemies to produce Earth type techniques in quick succession, leaving her bruised and battered before long. Yet Sayuri managed to gain the upper hand and with the whoosh of her katana through the air, the impact where it met flesh and bone, and finally the thud of the enemy falling forward into the earth, she had won.

She had made the mistake of turning her back too quickly only once. It was fortunate that Masuo was with her on that particular venture. As it was, Sayuri was insistent that her arm would never work properly again, and managed to keep up the charade until Obito had pointed out that if it hurt that bad she wouldn’t even be able to lift the fork to her mouth for pancakes and would have to maintain a liquid diet for the foreseeable future. 

People did not rise again from the dead as a rule (unless you believed the rumours circulating the ex-Suna doctor Akio Suda), but she looked just long enough to check. And that was it, done, the last of the three Iwa shinobi who had been lingering too close to the border. At least that was what the mission brief had said. Sayuri wasn’t sure what exactly amounted to ‘lingering’ herself, but she didn’t ask questions. It never helped. She turned away quickly. The Land of Earth would come over to pick them up soon enough.   
  
At the border village, the residents thanked her for her services with steamed eel, while they dined upon rice topped with bonito flakes. She let herself relax a little bit then, to allay their fears and tell them they would be safe in the Land of Rain. And when the children came with worries about Akio Suda taking them away, citing the reports that he had been seen in the Land of Rain, she vowed that they would have nothing to fear. When they looked away she bit at the corner of her mouth, remembering the directive whispered to her in the shadows of steel before she had headed out. Eliminate, if you have the opportunity to do so, but by no means put yourself in danger.

“But what if—?”

“There are many civilians in the Land of Rain.”

These civilians had run her a bath to soak her aching bones, and made up homemade ointment for her wounds. Sayuri kept herself all smiles until the time to head back home.   
  
There was a small queue, about 20 people long at the entrance. That wasn’t too unusual. The Land of Rain’s Daimyo’s official residence was in Nishikawa, but the halls of the palace had housed only cobwebs for several years now. So the citizens of the Land of Rain took refuge at the only house of authority that they knew. 

Sayuri was stopped by one of the refugees on her way in.

“Excuse me? Miss?”

“Yes?”

The young man smiled softly. “I was just wondering if they would let us in.”

“Oh, yes I’m sure they will.” 

He let out a chuckle. “I was only joking. We’re from Merimura. Some trouble going on with this Akio guy.”

“Oh I’m sorry to hear that.”

“Heh, not your fault. Anyway, I won’t keep you.”

Sayuri nodded and went off, heading to the hospital as was the norm now at the end of missions. In fact, if she didn’t show up, one of Masuo’s sisters’ would come and track her down. Today it was his mother that gave her the once over, making sure all was well before she let her go.   
  
At home she found Obito facing the window. It was the same view as always.

“What are you looking at?” She asked, sidling up to him and sneaking under the crook of his arm, resting her head against his chest.

“Nothing.”

She pouted. “What does that mean?”

“I’m sorry, I was just…thinking.”

“Well I’m thinking too,” she grinned, pulling away from him and turning back around to look him in the eye, leaning in close, “and you know what I think? I think you think too much.”

She peeled off part of the mask so that his lips were visible and left a soft kiss against them then brought the mask down again. 

“I mean it can’t be good for you, all that thinking, especially,” she let out a giggle, “especially at your age.”

And then she ran off. He was there waiting for her in her room, smirking and leaning nonchalantly against the wall. 

“That’s cheating,” she pouted, but crossed the room and stood on her toes to bring his mouth towards her…

They ended with his head in her lap, her body slick with sweat, panting up at the ceiling and a comfortable warmth between her thighs. One hand was fisted in his hair to hold his head there, and when she finished she used it to bring his lips to hers, tasting herself upon his tongue. And afterwards he smiled at her and once again her heart swelled, fit to burst.

—

Sayuri learned about Reika’s brother the next day. Akio Suda had left the whole team almost unrecognisable, their bodies turned inside out.

She behaved like a shinobi would, stoically bearing the news, but she wanted to scream at the heavens, why did they cry so much? 

“They knew it was dangerous,” Reika all but screamed, “they knew and yet they still sent him there.”

Sayuri had no words of comfort. What could she possibly say.

“At least he’s at peace now,” Mayumi soothed.

“I don’t want him at peace, I want him alive!” Reika sobbed, crushing the cigarette in her hand into a soggy mess. “I’m going to go to Sunagakure, find that bastard in jail, and fucking kill him myself.” 

Feeling decidedly useless, Sayuri took herself to the Land of Fire to eliminate a criminal who had set herself up in one of the villages close to the border. Zetsu for some reason took it upon himself to startle her half-way there.

**“Sure you’re up to it? Wouldn’t want you to get hurt now would we? Certainly not in your current state.”**

“Why don’t you go kill them yourself,” she snapped, and that seemed to shut them up for the moment. Feeling emboldened, Sayuri sauntered off to complete her mission.

It was a quick job, taken before the sun had risen, and she had gotten the hang of drawing her katana, (a permanent feature at her waist) almost silently. 

She arrived back home in just a couple of hours, ready to get some breakfast then crawl into bed.

When she saw the body, she thought it was a drunk passed out on the street, albeit at a strange angle. At Reika’s lifeless face staring up at her, she couldn’t help but scream. The next moments were a blur, rushing to Tomoya’s and knocking on the blue door of his apartment.

“I—I didn’t know who to go to. It’s Reika, she—“

And then she had to make a statement about what she saw, speaking only in facts. For speaking in feelings would be much worse

And then when she did return home, she flung open the door of the meeting room, for once not feeling conscious of the four sets of eyes on her.

“Reika’s dead,” she announced, matter of factly.

“Chucked herself from the rooftop,” she muttered quietly, half to herself. Then she sought the gaze of the one person she could trust. “I—I don’t know, I…”

He half stood up, as if to go to her. “Sayuri—”

“I’m going to bed.”

—

At the funeral she was outwardly stoic, the epitome of calm next to her friend bawling her eyes out. But from his vantage point in the shadows he saw in the way that her nails dug into the palm of her hands and her somewhat vacant gaze, that she was not altogether there, that there was only a thin layer holding everything in. 

When it was done, she turned to leave, and the sigh of relief she gave was tiny, something missed if he didn’t know her so well. 

Then she looked right his direction and he saw that there was an edge to her apparent apathy, something raw, just waiting to be unlocked

Outside her room, she took him by the arm and dragged him inside, shutting the door quickly behind them.

“Off.” Her voice was sharp.

“I said take it off!” There it was, the anger. “Your mask. Take it off right now!”

When he didn’t react quick enough, she grabbed him by the front of his top and pushed him towards the door, ripping off the mask. It clattered to the floor. 

Then her lips were on his. The kiss was demanding and biting, and he could feel the door handle digging into his back. There was a part of his brain that tickled at the harsh feel of her nails digging into him, pulling harshly at the hair on his scalp, and he could feel the moan bubbling to the surface from her touch. He wasn’t sure whether she was seeking comfort or punishment, and it is apt that this would be punishment, she blamed him of course. Why shouldn’t she? He was accountable for the whole course of her life since the age of 8. Of course it was his fault. So when she parted his lips with her tongue, his resistance was feeble, letting her take what he owed.

It wasn’t enough.

She pulled away abruptly, and breathless, he wiped his mouth with his sleeve, her own tongue darting out to lick at the strings of saliva left on her lips.

Then with a trembling hand her finger traced his lips, before moving on to his scars, her hand moving back and forth along his face. 

“Sayuri...” Her name was said in the whisper of a prayer.

Their eyes connect. She was searching for something, hopeful. His emotions were laid bare, gone was the mask. He was 13 again and eager for acceptance. He fought against the urge to pull away, and hoped she didn’t notice the way his breaths were laboured, and palms sweaty.

But then she pulled away from him sharply.

“No, no....no, I can’t...”

She crumbled.

He could only watch as she fell to the floor on her knees, sobs wracking through her body, burying her head in her hands.

Weak. Pathetic. 

He wished he really were the fake persona he had created, the Madara that wasn’t Madara, the no-one. Because he could tell her to stop crying. To get over it. To grow the hell up.

But he was not no-one, he was Obito, and he hadn’t felt so completely helpless since that time when what had been his whole world was cruelly taken from him.

But he couldn’t feel. He couldn’t feel anything, even the state of feeling helpless. All the feeling got sucked out of him when he put on the mask.

As she lifted her tear-stained face out of her hands to look at him again, he needed to keep his face trained into a frown, to stop her thinking this affected him. It was better she hated him. All that time shaping her to be appeasing, to be compliant and trusting and reliant on him had been a mistake. He should have been hard and cold from the start. It would have been better not to grow attached. He couldn’t separate himself from his best work, and if he still had a heart he would confess that all the times he told himself he didn’t care he was lying to himself.

But when she next spoke it broke in two.

“Is your world, the dream world, how long will it take before it can be made?” She sniffed, “Because I don’t want to...I don’t need this anymore,”

She let out a choked gasp. 

“I don’t want to be here anymore.”

She couldn’t get the words out before she broke down again, and then she was hugging her knees and taking deep breaths, as if she was gasping for air.

And he still stood there utterly helpless, fighting the need to go to her, and hold her like he did when she was a small child, and tell her everything was alright, and everything would be alright.

She reached her hands out to him, as if grabbing for something in the air.

“Please...”

He didn’t know what she wanted but he fell to his knees in front of her anyway. Everything he was, was hers.

She went in to kiss him again, her touch soft and gentle, placing light pecks against his jaw.

When she pulled away her lips trembled like she was going to cry again, so he put his thumb to her eyes to wipe away the unbidden tears. 

She gave a sigh and moved to rest her head against him, but then she changed, and was pushing him away again.

“No, no...get off me! Get off me!”

She picked up the vase of primroses she kept on the vanity. He had given it to her one time she had talked about the garden her mother had kept when she was a child, in a bout of nostalgia. He can’t remember how they got onto the topic, but he saw the way her eyes shone as she remembered. “There’s too much grey here,” she had said. And when she noticed the vase on the vanity the next day she had broken into a delighted smile, and slung her arms around his neck.

She wasn’t smiling now as she looked at the vase in her hand.

Then she slammed it against the wall, crushing it in her fist. Water dropped down her arm, the flowers and vase leaving a mess on the floor. There was a bit of white pottery that had embedded itself into her hand and she drove it into her palm, either not aware of, or not caring about the fact she was bleeding. 

She ripped the piece out, leaving a bloody hole and let that too, drop to the floor.

Then she made a circle around the room, slowly, lethargically, and Obito’s heart gave another jolt as he saw her face. Her expression had changed again.

It was the type of face that was seen often in those that had long been in their line of work. He had seen it in Kakashi, when his father had died, and even more so now, staring like the trash he was, pathetically grieving for him at his grave. He saw it in himself, when he looked at his hideous reflection in the mirror. In mothers, who stoically received news that their own children had been taken away from them. An honour, to die on the battlefield.

It was not something he was unfamiliar with. The emptiness. The hollow eyes, where nothing was behind them. Where nothing mattered and nothing ever would again.

But not her. Please, not her.

He remembers cruelly how he had wanted her to be like this, to see what a hopeless world they lived in. He had got what he had wanted right? Now she wouldn’t ask questions. Now she could be the perfect tool. 

His heart which had been buried under a layer of dust for years, rarely got this much of a workout.

She went into the bathroom and just stood there for a minute, before pattering out again, walking in circles around the room, stopping, at the door, at the bed, staring off into the distance. She didn’t see him.

“Need...” she was talking to herself more than to him, “need shower.”

She went into the bathroom again, and turned the tap of the sink on, putting the plug in. Then she left it on full blast before going into the bedroom again and making her way to the bed.

She picked up a pillow and looked at the bare space underneath for a few seconds, before placing it on top of the chest of drawers. 

“Need, need shower,” she said again, vacantly.

She crossed to the wardrobe, flinging the doors open. Her hand ran along the hanging clothes, mission gear, shorts and leggings and such for her days off. 

“Don’t need this,” she said, and in one fell swoop she knocked half the clothes off the rail, letting them fall to a crumpled heap on the floor, “need... ‘jama.”

She then headed to the bathroom once more, but stopped as the remnants of the vase crunched underfoot. She looked down and then crouched, trying to put back the pieces together. Then she picked up a shard, a different one from before, and drove it into the bloody spot on her palm, watching it intently, frowning at it.

Then her face went blank again, and she took the shard away, still holding it absently in her other hand.

“Look,” she said, and it was now she addressed him, her face that of a child, “I’m bleeding.”

She turned from him, and looked at her palm again. “I’m bleeding.” The shard was driven back in her skin.

“I’m...hurts.”

“I think we should stop that now,” he tried to make his voice as gentle as possible, in the way someone might talk to a small child.

She frowned, and bit her lip, as if she was taking a while to register his words.

“Oh, okay.”

She went into the bathroom again, and stared at the running tap for a while.

“Why on?” She pointed at it accusingly, “why this on? Shouldn’t be on. Be off!” She scolded and then shut it off herself. 

Then it was back into the bedroom again, and pattering around.

She looked at her palm, as if seeing it for the first time. 

“I’m bleeding.”

“I know.”

To the wardrobe, and staring at the clothes on the floor.

“Need...need ‘jama. Where?” Her brow furrowed. Then she looked at him, pouting. “Where ‘jama?!”

“Pyjamas?”

A nod.

“In here, sweetheart.” He opened the top drawer of the chest.

“Oh.” As she was searching her gaze fell on the pillow she had placed on top. 

“What this? Don’t need this.” It was thrown across the room.

Eventually she found what she needed and went into the bathroom and shut the door behind her.

Obito waited for the sound of the shower before going to tidy up the mess she left. Here was something he could do. Methodical. He didn’t need to use his heart for this. And oh, how it hurt.

He wiped furiously at the tears threatening to leak from his eyes. What was wrong with him? What was?

It was 20 minutes in and there hadn’t been a sound from the bathroom.

“Sayuri? Can I come in?”

A faint, “Yeah.”

She was leaning against the wall, her eyes red. There was a bottle of shampoo in her hand, unopened. It was thrust at him.

“You do this.”

He did as he was told, coming in behind her, letting the spray of the water get on his clothes. 

She murmured contentedly as his fingers worked through her strands. Then it was getting her dry, making sure she had brushed her teeth and tucking her in bed. 

It was when he thought she was asleep she spoke. 

“I know you don’t love me. Not really. I don’t mean it to sound ungrateful, I just know you’re being nice to me because you feel sorry for me or something. You like Rin, not me.” With that, she burst into tears, and it was all Obito could do but let her cling to him.

He didn’t know what to say to that. It was true after all, why would he care about her? But oh, why did it hurt so much? No matter. Just another indicator of the hell that he was in. 

That night, Uchiha Obito wept.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I’m sorry. :’(


	30. A little girl called Sayuri

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I’ve noticed a couple of comments have gone missing from this story. I’m not sure if the original commenters have deleted it themselves (which is completely up to them) or my phone has played up and I accidentally deleted them myself, which is terrible. In any case please do leave a comment I much appreciate it

He didn’t try to dispute it. He didn’t even tell her a lie, that it wasn’t true, that he did like her. Well, she could live with that, she had survived so far.

On one of the first days after the funeral she had tried to visit the cemetery, taking a colourful bouquet arranged by hand. The florist in Amegakure was not particularly well-stocked, but there was a way of adding trimmings and such to make even the most droopy blooms look vibrant. 

“Do you think it looks good?”

“I think it looks wonderful,” Obito replied, and brought her head towards him to brush a kiss upon her temple

“Oh,” she bit at her lip, “okay. If you say so.”

At the graveside she had dropped the bouquet down unceremoniously, next to the paper blooms that had been placed carefully at the stone.

“Um hi Reika chan, I bought you some flowers. I hope you like them. Um...” She felt silly talking to the earth, so she just stood there in silence for a while until she had enough and headed home.

On the way out she met Reika’s mother, eyes red and puffy, who clutched at her hand.

“Oh, Sayuri-chan, you’re such a good girl.”

Sayuri had given a weak smile but she didn’t feel good at all. She felt terrible.

The rest of the days rolled by into one another, and most days Sayuri hadn’t even the will to get out of bed. Not that Obito didn’t try, encouraging her to get out for some fresh air.

“Not like there isn’t air inside,” she huffed, but she was tired of him pestering her and stormed out, slamming as many doors as possible. 

Sayuri wandered around, heading nowhere. After forty minutes of meandering she found herself in the far side of town where the apartments were all squashed together, made out of cheap construction materials that seemed to fall apart as soon as quickly as they were erected.

The young man she had seen on that day outside the gates, seeking refuge from where was it? Meriumura? He was there, and called out to her as she went by.

“Hey, how you doing?” 

Sayuri just stared blankly, not having the energy to reply.

“Oh, is this not a good time?” 

“No it’s not,” she snapped, and walked quickly away, feeling like she should go back and apologise but she didn’t care anyway. 

Back home Obito told her he was making some ramen if she wanted any.

“No. I’m not hungry.”

“Well...do you want something else perhaps? Omurice?”

“No.”

“Takoyaki?”

“No.”

“Soup?”

“No.”

Do you want pancakes?

“No!” Why didn't he get it? “I’m not hungry.”

“Sayuri, you need to eat something.”

“No I don’t.” Why couldnt he just fuck off already? She ran up to her room, and slammed the door behind her.

He followed a few moments later. 

“Sayuri, talk to me.”

“Nothing to say,” she replied, and shut herself in the bathroom, locking the door firmly.

He didn’t follow and Sayuri let herself breathe a sigh of relief, mechanically going through the motions of the shower. She let herself cry under the warm jet of water. 

Shinobi didn’t show emotions.

Later on he had come to her room when she asked, biting her lip and looking at the floor as she made the request.

He made no mention of her earlier behaviour and let her take charge. She explored his mouth with her tongue, grinding her body against his. But just when she thought he would let her take it further he had said, 

“You need to get some rest, sweetheart.” 

So he definitely didn’t like her. He was right. This world was hell.

—

She had always been slim. Her scrawny figure as a child wasn’t of any concern to him, children were like that, weren’t they? He didn’t know. Sometimes thoughts came to him, fleeting, and then went away. He couldn’t think.

**“What does it matter,**” Zetsu had said, “**This is a foolish idea and you know it. The father doesn’t have it. Why should she?”**

“I’m not interested in her father.” His mind seemed to be more stable when Zetsu was around. Focused. There was only one goal. To save the world from this hell. Grown men were harder to persuade. A child was better. They were soft and malleable, and could be shaped just as you wanted.

"We will observe for a few days.”

And so they had. She was the right mix of potential and blind trust. Too trusting, it seemed, had no-one told her not to speak to strangers? But for him she was perfect. She would be useful indeed.

“Why not wait and come back a few years and see then? She’s not going anywhere.”

Obito thought. He had half a mind to. But what was one more day? It’s not that he had a lot to do anyway.

She had spent that day at school. A sickening ridiculous place, where they told girls to cook and clean, and write poetry. 

Embroidery, it seemed, was not the red-haired girls forté, and as the teacher came round—a stout, flat faced lady—she had peered at Sayuri’s work with obvious disdain.

“What’s this? Don’t you know how to sew properly?”

“I—” the girl had looked up, her bottom lip quivering, “I do.”

“Stop telling lies stupid girl. You obviously haven’t been practicing have you?” The teacher’s face drew close, “Have you?”

“I have,” eight-year old Sayuri insisted, a tremble in her voice, “I’ve been doing it every night.”

“I don’t believe you.” The teacher grabbed hold of the girl’s wrist and dragged her to the front. 

“Girls,” the work was held up, “Tachimae-san believes this is acceptable. Do you think it’s acceptable?”

“No, Kubo-sensei,” they chorused.

“We want to sew nice things, don’t we girls. When our fathers have been working hard, we want to help them by making nice stitches, not this rubbish.” The embroidery was ripped in half and thrown on the floor.

Kubo turned to Sayuri, who was now weeping silently.

“What do you have to say for yourself?”

“I’m sorry!”

“That is not good enough. Are you going to pay for it? Are you going to make your father pay for it?”

“I—” Obito had seen terror before, but not in a classroom. Not like that. He should leave. Leave the little girl, it wasn’t going to matter in the end anyway.

He stayed.

“Of course, how could you pay for it? You’re lucky girl, with this ribbon in your hair,” Kubo yanked on Sayuri’s pigtail, taking out the blue ribbon that had been tied into a neat bow, along with several of the girl’s hairs, “You don’t deserve this.”

The teacher addressed the rest of the class in the next sentence.

“Lunch time girls, run along.” There was a flurry of movement as the class made their way out the door, walking in a controlled line. Kubo kept hold of Sayuri by the pigtails.   
  
“Tachimae-san, you stay. Do you know why?”

“Naughty girls don’t get to eat.” The answer was rehearsed, automatic.

“Are you a naughty girl?”

“Yes, Kubo-sensei.”

“Are you stupid?”

“Yes Kubo-sensei.”

“You’re going to clear up this mess.” With that, Kubo left the room, leaving the small child to struggle with the broom, large and unwieldy.

After ten minutes the teacher returned, holding a hunk of bread that looked past its best in her hand.

“Here, I’ve got you some food,” she said, and thrust it into Sayuri’s mouth. “Eat it.”

The little girl choked on the stale bread that was forced into her mouth, spitting most of it on to the floor.

The teacher’s face grew red in rage. 

“You ungrateful madam. We need to wash that mouth right out.” She grabbed the soap from the sink and shoved it into Sayuri’s mouth, who was promptly sick all over the floor.

“You’re not going to tell your parents are you? You deserve this punishment.”

“No, Kubo-sensei.”

Obito had seen enough. It needed to happen that night.

—

“Do you miss food or something?” Zetsu had asked, when Obito had started looking at recipe books. Then Zetsu had burst into laughter, when he found out what he was doing. “Didn’t know you were one for mummies and daddies. If that’s how you want to pass the time.”

Sayuri had been fine eating at home—that wasn’t the problem—even with her parents he had seen her happily eat up her mother’s cooking. But she seemed lacking energy when she got home from the academy. When he had opened up the bento box he had prepared for her, it was as he had thought. The food was untouched. Which was an impressive feat considering lunchtimes were monitored to make sure the young students gained strength for training. At least that’s how it was in Konoha. Maybe he should have Pain fire them all for negligence.

“Sayuri, why haven’t you eaten today?”

“I didn’t know if I was allowed to…”

“Yes you’re allowed to. If I make you something, I want you to eat it.”

Her expression became fearful. He would grow to hate that look, especially when he was the one to cause it. And in later times he would act in a manner that was truly disgusting.

“Oh, sorry, Tobi-san, I’ll eat it now, I didn’t mean to be rude—” he had stopped her with a gentle hand on her arm.

“Only if you’re hungry. If you’re hungry you’ll eat, won’t you?”  
  
The next few days he had checked and she had eaten it all, but then he would see she had left some egg, or two pieces of sushi. When he asked if she didn't like those things, 

“So I can give you something you like next time,” he had explained,

“I got a question wrong, so I didn’t eat that bit.”

“I was off with my shuriken, that’s why I left it.”

That had resulted in internal groaning—why hadn’t he just left her in that village, what did she matter—and a sit down talk, and him making her promise not to self-punish with food. She had taken a little while to wrap her head round it, but eventually, she had seemed to come round the idea, and he was confident she was eating everything up.

Apart from broccoli, that was—when he had seen it still in her box and asked her about it, she had made a (rather adorable) face that told him everything.

Although, there was a loophole with Sayuri’s warped attitude to food. And that came in the form of sweets. All kinds of sweets. Cakes, puddings, candies, and of course her favourite— pancakes.

She ate rather too many sweets, and when he had seen her start her third rock candy in one sitting, he had told her,

“Your teeth are going to fall out if you eat that much sugar.”

She had grinned, and said confidently, “I’ll grow new ones.”

It was rather ironic the next week that she had come up to him, hooked her fingers inside her mouth to prop open her lips, and waggled her tongue around the top left of her gum line, saying

“Aiorobiioof.”

“Take your fingers out of your mouth, and say it again.”

“I’ve got a wobbly tooth. Look!” She gave him a repeat performance of the mouth opening and the tongue waggling.

“Yes, alright, I don’t need to see.” But he had smiled behind the mask.

Eventually her scrawny figure had turned to muscle toned from her training, and gave way to feminine curves—not much on the height though, her features had come on from the soft roundness of a child, to the sharper, yet still delicate, ones of a woman. Her eyes remained much the same, a deep forest green, reminding him of a simpler time, when all he had to worry about was Bakakashi and his annoying smugness. Before the eyes had gazed up at him with childish adoration, now it was ...something else.

Well, of course she would, how could she not. Even though he was fucking disgusting and had practically ruined her life. 

Now Obito lay awake as she sobbed into the pillow beside him, wondering if he should have just let her carry on. He did not want her to do something she regretted later. After a while he thought that she had finally fallen asleep, until she slipped out of bed and he pretended he was asleep until he heard her footsteps retreat down the stairs. After a few minutes he followed her to find her in the kitchen with her hand stuck in the cereal box. She looked ashamed when he caught her and slowly pulled her hand out, biting her lip and looking at the floor.

He reached out to cup the side of her face and she reacted positively, letting out soft murmurs of contentment.

“I’m sorry…”

“For what sweetheart?”

“Don’t know…”

He smiled softly at her then went to retrieve the eggs and flour.

She ate the pancakes off her lap on the sofa, legs curled to the side. After she leaned into him, and let him stroke her hair. He sighed and pulled her close, kissing the top of her head, and wondering all the while how they would get through this. 

—

Four weeks after the funeral, Sayuri arrived at the gates, ready for another mission. Obito had expressed concerns about starting again so soon, but she was bored and she wanted something else to take her mind off things. Besides, what did he care anyway? Well, did he? She thought that he probably didn’t but now she wasn’t sure. He had been very kind to her after all. There was still that part of her, the part that made her heart ache, that hoped he did.

“Hello stranger,” Mayumi greeted her at the gate, taking a long drag of her cigarette. She had been smoking at the funeral too.

“Hey,” Sayuri replied, nibbling on her lip. Then Mayumi tossed her cigarette to the side and threw her arms around her.

“How come I haven’t seen you? You just disappeared.”

“I was busy,” Sayuri replied, returning the hug.

“Yeah? With what?”

“Nothing.”

“That’s what I thought,” Mayumi said, grinning.

Sayuri caught her eye and they both burst into giggles. 

“Oh great,” Masuo rolled his eyes, “I hope you’re not going to be like this the whole trip.”

Luckily for him, they weren’t. Well, there was the occasional laugh, but then Sayuri would go to talk about Reika in the present tense and the mood was sombered. It went well enough though, until she ripped through the whole enemy party, callously allowing them to drown in the pool made by her water jutsu. 

“Sayuri-chan, are you okay?” 

“I’m fine.”

“Do you need to have a break? You don’t have to push yourself.”

“I said I’m fine!”

At home she ran to her room crying, and when she felt a hand stroking her hair, she rose and turned to sob into his shirt.

“Oh, Sayuri…”

“They don’t want me…you don’t want me, and now they don’t want me!” She stopped to take a breath, “They’re making me take a break,” she finished quietly. 

“Well,” he took hold of some of the shorter hairs in front of her ears, letting them glide between his fingers. “Maybe you need a break.”

“So you think I’m a failure at being a shinobi too do you?”

“I never said that. I’m just...I worry about you.” 

“Why?” she spat, “Nothing in this life matters, does it?”

There was a long pause. 

“Few things matter,” he murmured eventually, kissing her temple. “Not nothing. A few.” His mouth moved down her face then left its softness on the corner of her mouth. “Just a few, precious things.”  
  
Sayuri paused, taking in the meaning of his words.

He was smiling at her. Not just the grin he made when being sardonic, or the tug at his lips when she tells a joke, but something so pure that her heart relaxed, even just for a moment. 

“Can I have some pancakes please?” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Two chapters in a short time, yes. I hope you can forgive me for torturing Sayuri but they are going to have struggles for a while. However, next chapter will be better, and is one of my favourites. Thank you for keeping with me, hope you are all safe and well.


	31. Warm Tides

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi Darlings, hope you are keeping well and staying safe wherever you are.
> 
> So good news, I have had a run of inspiration recently which is why I’ve been able to put out these chapters quickly. Bad news, I need a little more time to plan for the next section, I know the general plot, there’s just some odds and ends I need to tie in. So it will be another little wait, hope you don’t mind.
> 
> Thank you so much for all the love, I pour my heart into this fic.

The day was perfect, one of those rare days when the sun was warm on your back but not boiling, and the wind offered a cool gentle breeze that caressed you gently in her wake. Further north, the late autumn air would be hinting at the cold bite of winter, here in the south, it was just right. With its golden white sands, and sea of that almost impossible azure blue, the beach would be packed, if it was in Kirigakure. 

Luckily, they were not in Kirigakure, but a tiny remote island, about 100 kilometres to the southwest. Conveniently out of the way of the main trade routes, inaccessible to the main population. But nothing was inaccessible for Obito’s kamui. His gaze was not fixated on the waves lapping the shore, twinkling as they caught the sun, but on the figure that was jumping them as they neared, dodging and weaving and running out as far as she could before she was running back, shrieking in giggles as the water would curl over and spray her with its foam. She was dressed for the environment, in a swimsuit in a bright yellow that was every bit as horrid as she was lovely. 

It had been over four months since the funeral, and although Sayuri was doing well, there were still days when she would while away the hours in her room, or else stay out until well after dark, apparently doing the sum total of nothing when he asked. She had started work again a few weeks prior, and although the results were apparently not disastrous, she answered on how it went with an apathetic, 

“Okay I guess.”

So when he told her that he would like to bring her to the beach, as a present for her birthday, he was not sure how she would take it. 

“The beach? What, like a holiday? 

“Yes, like a holiday,” he had confirmed. Her expression remained curious. Not too alarming then.

“Do I get to go into the sea?”

“If you like.”

There was a split second as she processed the answer before joy ruptured across her face, her eyes becoming once again bright and sparkly, as they should be.

“If I am going on holiday I need a swimsuit,” she declared, and promptly went out and returned with six of them. And Obito, who had never been part of outfit selection or anything involving clothes when it came to females, was subject to an impromptu fashion show. The closest he had gotten to it was with Rin picking out a pair of mission worthy trousers, and although he had put it in his head that it was some kind of romantic escapade, running errands could hardly count as a date, especially not when they met Kakashi for ramen later. Rin had apparently forgotten to tell him that last part, come to think of it, but he could never be angry with her. She was far too perfect for that. But, he was certainly not thinking about how her mission clothes would hug her figure and what she looked like underneath them.

Such was his limited experiences with shopping and all that, ‘woman things’ that the only comment he could come up with as Sayuri posed in front of him was, 

“It looks nice.” Which was true. She did look very nice in all of them.

Apparently this wasn’t good enough for Sayuri, for after the fourth one when he once again said it was nice she huffed and complained, 

“You’re not looking properly! You’re meant to be helping.”

“Did you want me to wear it myself?”

She pouted at that. 

“You’re meant to tell me which one I look good in!”

“You do look good in them. You look nice.” Then in an attempt to avert the Sayuri-tantrum he saw coming his way, he added, “Very nice.”

“But which one do you like best?”

“Well put the rest of them on then.” He couldn’t see how he was meant to decide if she wasn’t wearing them. 

After she had gone through them all and asked him again for his favourite, he thought for a moment and replied

“I like number five.” Black. Plain and simple.

“Thought so, I’m going with this one,” she declared. And picked up off the floor a costume in a garish yellow. It was truly hideous.

Then she went shy, and said, “Would that be alright, do you think?” She bit her lip, “I forgot, sorry.”

“Forgot what?”

“I’m not sure if I’m meant to be happy or not.”

Now she looked at him from her place in the water, and the look she was fixing with that grin, was decidedly impish.

Then she stumbled, and flailed and went under with a scream.

He wasted no time in going into the water after her, his heart pounding in his chest, wading in though he was still fully dressed. He was so far in when a sudden force pulled upon him, dragging him underwater. Was this what had gotten Sayuri?

He surfaced, spluttering, to her laughter ringing out across to him, her face a picture of triumphant glee. 

They retired to a holiday villa on the beach, the carpenters who built it would not remember of their task, nor of how they had been transported then dropped back home unharmed.

Sayuri lay underneath him this time, her legs curled around him and though he asked many times whether she was okay, they didn’t have to do anything she didn’t want, she insisted on following through.

The first few thrusts seemed particularly hard on her however, and she bit into his shoulder.

“I’m sorry, I’ve never…”

“It’s okay,” she mumbled, though her nails digged into his back and he couldn’t help but moan. He settled into some sort of rhythm, but the awkwardness never truly disappeared, and eventually released inside of her.

She didn’t finish though, so he pulled out and reached a hand between her legs. She shook her head and pushed it away, turning to the side to go to sleep. 

As he lay there staring at her back, he thought about how he had been saving himself for Rin, but the thought was banished as quickly as it came. He hadn’t been thinking like that for a long time now. Still, he was grateful Sayuri had her back to him so she couldn’t see the guilty look on his face.

He dreamt of himself at the time of his would-be death, the rocks falling on him, but instead of Rin, it was Sayuri, shovelling on rocks to bury him further in the darkness. Her face had the horrible glazed look about it, hollow and empty. 

He woke to an empty bed. His heart went in his mouth as he looked around for her, before he saw the light shining from underneath the bathroom door.

She was sitting in the tub, staring at nothing.

“Does it always hurt?”

Surely he hadn’t been that bad? He opened his mouth to apologise, 

“The killing, does it always hurt.”

That wasn’t any better. He hadn’t an answer for that. It’s easier he supposed, when you have no heart. But hers was so big, and fragile.

“You get used to it.”

“Hmm.”

She stretched her hands out in front of her and looked at them intently. 

“Every time,” she sniffled and her voice broke, “I don’t know who I am anymore, I don’t know what it will take, until I’m no longer me. Until I’m someone else.”

“You could do different missions if you want. Less intense ones.” He would have fun arguing that point with Nagato later, but he could deal with it.

“No, it’s fine. I’m fine. Sorry.”

“You don't need to apologise,” he said, and bent to leave a kiss on her cheek. She turned just as he did so and the kiss fell on her lips, soft and small.

“Can we try again? I heard that it’s better when the girl’s on top.”

—  
  
They lay panting after, her head resting on his chest, one hand loosely linked with his. She had grabbed them firmly and attached them to her breasts as she rode him, looking absolutely radiant as she did so, her head thrown back in ecstasy as she came.

His other hand fingered through her still damp locks as his heartbeat began to slow.

And then he could no longer deny himself, or her, the truth.

“I love you.”

For a moment she gave no reaction and the beat of his heart reached a crescendo. Of course, after all he had done, how could she even look at him? 

Then, miraculously, she lifted her head, and her smile was truly blessed.

“I love you too.” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, that took some time didn’t it? However it is not the end of their struggles I’m afraid, we still have a lot of shit to sort through. 
> 
> So, what does everyone think of their dynamic? I hope you like where this is heading in terms of how their relationship is playing out? I guess I’m trying to keep things kind of natural in terms of progression? And I know there are things Obito has done in the past, and is still doing, don’t think I’ve forgotten, he gonna get it coming to him. But for now, they are good, and I just want them to be happy...a little.
> 
> Would love to hear your thoughts, keep it kind, stay safe.
> 
> Ladle


	32. A glimpse of happiness

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 1st September 2020
> 
> Hi darlings, I am back.
> 
> I'm sorry I took this chapter down.
> 
> And took two months to put it back up again... 
> 
> What started as a bit of a light tidying-up of the fic turned into a massive editing overhaul job. (Yay). Some of you may have noticed that I've been posting updated chapters these last couple of months as I go. Now, as far as the main storyline goes, not much has changed. Just little touches here and there. 
> 
> Mostly it was me freaking out that I had somehow messed up the timeline, as one of my readers inadvertently alerted me to. It's a lot of maths about people's ages and speculated dates on when events occur. Extremely imprecise science. 
> 
> And now that I have essentially reread my own fic (and dreamed up a perfect happy ending for Sayuri) I should now be able to write a coherent structured plot, right? Right? It is going somewhere, I promise. On the local stopping-service, mind you, but somewhere.

At first, awaking in an unfamiliar place, Sayuri felt a jolt to her stomach, and she wasn’t entirely sure that last night hadn’t all been a beautiful dream. But he was laying there beside her, making lazy circles at the crown of her head.

They stayed in silence and Sayuri snuggled closer to him, content to just feel his heartbeat close to hers. 

“Do you feel alright? You’re not in pain?” Obito asked after a few minutes. 

“Not in pain...I just feel..tired. Worn out.”

“Well,” he stroked her hair, “Better stay in bed then.”

“Good,” Sayuri rolled to lay flat on her back, “I’m going to stay here all day,” she declared, and proceeded to stretch out like a starfish. After a few seconds, she wondered why she hadn’t heard any protest from Obito who would tell her to watch her elbows and complain “Must you take up the whole of the bed yourself?” When she turned to look, her arm was right where his head should be. Except, his head wasn’t there. 

Sayuri frowned. That was cheating. He couldn’t just put parts of himself in his other dimension just to avoid her. 

So she aimed a blow at his stomach. It passed through to the bed, and his head reappeared, watching her, waiting for the next move. She went for his shoulder, and he dodged that, then his chest, his head again, his arm, his stomach, his chest, and each time he evaded her. And now he was starting to look very smug. So she finally aimed for his groin, but at the last moment, changed direction and kissed him squarely on the mouth.

He conceded to her and she intertwined her fingers with his, pressing their bodies closer to each other.

After they lay next to each other, panting, until he sat bolt upright, face pale.

“Shit!”

She raised herself up on her elbow. “What is it? What’s wrong?”

“Sayuri, we didn’t use a condom.”

She smiled. “I’m on the pill. It’s okay.”

“Oh...yes, of course you are. Sorry, I—”

“You’re silly. Silly old man.”

“I’m not that old,” he grumbled, eyes narrowed. 

“Mmm,” she murmured in reply, and snuggled back into his chest. She was content to remain in bliss, but then her mind started teasing her, saying stupid things to make her worry. What he had said last night, did he really mean it? She thought that he did, but he had said it she wasn’t sure if he was just tired, or that his mind was hazy after sex.

She would say it now. Very quietly. Then if he didn’t respond, or if his response was something negative, she could pretend that she hadn’t said anything.

“I love you.”

“Love you.”

Sayuri’s heart burst, and she looked at him and smiled

Eventually, they made their way to the kitchenette, to get some... breakfast? Lunch? Brunch? He prepared eggs and rice and toast while she watched, sipping on her hot cocoa. She imagined what it would be like to have a life like this. No dying, no fighting, no Eye of Moon, just the two of them, in cozy domestic bliss.

In the afternoon she ran into the sea again, and though she tried to coax him in, he said he was content to watch, and she couldn’t play the same trick twice. So she amused herself by splashing about in the waves.

Then she turned to face him, and she had never seen him so carefree. And as his face gleamed in the sunlight, she didn’t know whether the sun was shining on him or shining out of him.

Then he caught her staring, and the smile fell a bit, though his lips were still curved upward.

“What?”

“I’ve never seen you smile like that before.”

His eyes widened, and the smile disappeared completely as he looked away.

Suddenly she felt cold, and hugged herself, self-conscious.

He waded into the water with her and planted a kiss on her forehead. 

“Tag, you’re it.” 

And then she was off, ducking under his arm, and leaping onto the beach before setting off at a run, the warm sand pounding beneath her bare feet. Sensing him behind her, she whipped around, waiting for him to catch up. She took his hands in hers and spun them around until they fell down on the sand together, laughing all the while.

“You look happy when you’re beautiful.”

“Eh?” 

“I mean, you’re happy, it’s beautiful. You’re beautiful,” he clarified, cheeks tinged pink.

She smiled at that, and brought him down atop her.

—

They whiled away the hours laughing and playing, skin to skin, on the beach, the bed, pressed up to the side of the hot tub.

Eventually, they had to leave, despite Sayuri wanting to remain a little longer.

“What if we could stay here forever?”

“We could. Once my plan is completed we could stay here for as long as we want.”

“Yes, but, it wouldn’t be the same. It wouldn’t be real.”

He didn’t respond to that, and Sayuri once again resigned herself to the fact that he was still resolute about his plans going ahead. It would be better in the end though, wouldn’t it?

No one was better at bringing her back to reality than Zetsu, whose mere presence seemed to dampen the mood.

**“You need to come. Now.”**

And then Obito was gone without so much as an apology, and when he didn’t return soon, she decided to take herself outside, do some training or something. She could take care of herself just fine. Besides, she was a lot better now.

Whilst the beach had been pleasantly warm, in Amegakure, winter was settling in, leaving a thin layer of ice on the puddles that cracked underfoot, and mixed with the dirt and grime of the village, they created this grey sludge that Sayuri trudged through. Of course she could flit from roof to roof, but it seemed more fitting to travel in this way.

Target practice was a productive yet dull way to while away her time, but the repetitive nature of the task didn’t stop Sayuri from thinking. She thought she was happy, but now it seemed she was all sad again. She didn’t know why. She shouldn’t be feeling like that. She should be feeling good. Obito had confessed his love to her, and wasn’t that what she wanted? It was, but she felt off.

Reika should be here, laughing with her, not under the fucking ground, she thought, and threw a kunai with more force than intended.

“Hey kiddo!” Tomoya called from out of nowhere, “You alright?”

“Oh, yeah. I’m fine,” Sayuri replied, then sighed at where the kunai had become stuck right through the target.

“Need some help?”

“No no, I’ve got it,” she said, and wrenched it out, assisted with a little chakra.

“Mm-hm. Shall we spar together?”

“Not really in the mood.” 

She bit her lip. Perhaps she shouldn’t be so snappish.

“So, er,” Sayuri said brightly in an attempt to lighten the mood, “How have you been?”

“Absolutely stupendous!” Tomoya enthused, “What about you?”

“I...I went away for a bit, to the countryside.” It would be okay to reveal that much, as long as she didn’t give too many details. She could trust Tomoya. “And it was nice, it felt like things were getting better, but now I’m back and...You know when we first met, and I could barely hurt someone... and now,” her breath hitched, “I feel like I’m killing people all the time. What if I’ve become a bad person?”

“You’re not a bad person Sayuri. You have a good heart.”

“What if we could make it so no-one ever dies again? A world where we are all okay?”

“Oh, gosh Sayuri-chan, that would be nice,” his tone grew serious, “But I’ve found things like that always come with a price. And would it be worth it? Not much fun, living forever. Not that I would know anything about that personally of course.”

“I guess…” Sayuri bit her lip, “Ignore me, I’m just saying stupid things.”

“You could never say anything that was stupid. No-one expects you to change the world. Just do the best that we can in the time given to us. At least, that’s the way I see it. What do I know, I’m just an old man.”

“You’re not old.”

“Yeah,” he straightened his scarf, “Feels that way sometimes. Tell you what,” Tomoya reached into his pocket, retrieving a small wooden implement with metal prongs, “Could learn knitting. I got you this knitting doll from a trader on the side of the road.  
Maybe that will help.”

Sayuri looked dubious, but took the proffered item all the same. She wasn’t sure how it was supposed to work, or whether it was some kind of torture device. She felt the prongs between the palm of her hand. They weren’t sharp, but she wasn’t sure what she was meant to do with it.

Tomoya showed her how to twist the yarn around the prongs to produce a… lumpy fat string?

It looked nothing like the great works of art that her sensei would create.

“You’re stupid, can’t do any simple knitting right.” Her teacher’s words resounded in her head, and Sayuri stared at the doll for a moment, and though she could feel it’s solid form in her hand, she could not see it, and her eyes welled with tears.

“Are you alright?”

She nodded, wiping her eyes with her sleeve, “I think—I think I want to go home.”

“You take care, okay?”

“Yeah, sure.”

At home she buried her face into her pillow and cried.


	33. The man from Merimura

He returned in the middle of the night, sitting on top of the covers, mask in one hand, shoulders rising and falling in a sigh. He looked so much like a boy at times, when he was carefree and smiling, now as she studied him in the pale light of the moon, he was aged and tired. 

She sat up and inched closer to him, leaning her head on his shoulder. His hand went out to stroke her hair, and there they stayed in the stillness of the room for a moment.

“So, what did Zetsu want?”

He paused, and his hand fell away from her locks.

“It doesn’t matter.” His tone was clipped, formal.

She responded with a sigh of her own, and looked away from him to study the growing shadows in the room.

“I went to Kirigakure.”

Again? That place he wouldn’t tell her about what he was doing. And every time she had tried to ask him about it, he had brushed her questions off. She wasn’t sure if she even wanted to find out what he was doing. But she had to know.

“Obito...what’s happening in Kiri...you’re not...you haven’t done anything…” she struggled to come up with the word, settling on something that sounded so juvenile, but it would have to do, “bad?”

“Bad?” He let out a bitter laugh, his hands dropping from her hair, “If you saw what was happening, how corrupt it all was...you would understand why I need to do this. And you wouldn’t question the plan.”

The plan. Always the plan. She wanted to go back to the beach, where there was no Eye of the Moon, no plan, no Zetsu coming in and ruining everything. The room was almost pitch black now, save for the silver light coming from the window, giving Obito an eerie halo.

“But what has that got to do with Kirigakure? Aren’t you helping over there?”

His voice was not his own. “Well of course I am. The world is wrong. I’m fixing it.  
I need to be…,” he curled his hand in a fist, and a look of pain passed over his features, before his expression grew stern, “I am Madara. I’m carrying out his will. The plan. It’s the only way.”

Sayuri bit her lip. He hadn’t gotten like that in a while.

“But that can’t be all there is. Why must you destroy the world to save it?”

“Do you think I haven’t tried to find another way?” he hissed, “There is no good left in this world.”

Her eyes brimmed with tears. “Nothing at all?”

“No.”

A beat passed.

“No. You’re wrong.”

He looked at her, startled, and she used it to her advantage to take the mask from him, and set it down on the side. Her hands went to his chest, feeling his heartbeat beneath her palm.

“You are Uchiha Obito and I know that you are good.”

Then he was looking at her as if seeing her for the first time. His face became screwed in anguish, and he clutched at his head, pushing her away, shaking.

And the dark grew darker.

Undeterred, she put her arms around him and held him. He clung to her, becoming much like a boy again, holding her so tight she thought he might crush her ribs.

“Obito.”

He exhaled, and rested his head against hers, breathing her in. And the pale pink of dawn crept into the room.

He lifted his head.

“There had been an incident...another clan with a kekkei genkai…” he looked at her vacantly and his voice went eerily quiet, “all gone now…I was too late.”

“For what?” she asked softly.

“To save them. If only Zetsu had gotten me sooner.”

“But,” she brushed his hair out of his eyes—it was getting longer now, and would probably need a cut— “it’s not your fault.”

She was sure Zetsu could have easily come quicker, but she didn’t say that to Obito.

He shook his head.

“It’s always been my fault. I was too slow. And now, again…” he said the last part very softly, “I just want you to be happy.”

“I am happy,” she said quickly, not looking him in the eyes. It wouldn’t do to cause him anymore pain.

He took a gentle hand to her hair.

“Sayuri…”

He didn’t say anything to her obvious lie, just held her close. And she closed her eyes and slept.

—

Sayuri awoke late the next morning.

“I’m going to see Mayumi,” she announced, already half-way dressed.

“If that’s what you want.”

“Yes,” she replied, and swept out the door.

The friends headed to the bookshop in the midst of a shower, and as the rain became heavier, Sayuri hurried, dashing through the doors.

“Sayuri-chan, wait up! Why must you run everywhere,” Mayumi grumbled, holding her arm over her head in an effort to defend against the droplets.

“I was staying out of the rain.”

“Yeah well, no chance of that here.”

Sayuri immediately headed to the back, leaving Mayumi to look at the non-fiction at the front. She wanted to read something fun. Something daring. Selecting a volume, she leafed through the pages, until she found something that amused her.

She went to turn around to show Reika, but then remembered she wasn’t there.

Of course not. She was being stupid again.

Sayuri bit her lip and looked at the floor, hoping that no other customers had seen her look round. Her hopes were dashed however when someone called her name.

The guy from Merimura.

“How do you know my name?”

For a split second the young man looked surprised. Then recovered with a polite smile. 

“Everyone knows who you are. How many other red-haired girls are there in the village?”

“I guess so. But, I don’t know who you are. I mean, I do, we’ve met, but I don’t know your name.”

“Oh yeah. Name’s Kaito.”

“Nice to see you again,” Sayuri said politely, although really she wanted to look at her romance novels in peace. “Are you well?”

“Yeah, I’m fine. Just back from the hospital. My grandpa’s due for surgery soon.”

“Oh, I er, hope it goes well.” Sayuri couldn’t see why it wouldn’t. She had been at Amegakure’s hospital plenty of times and she was absolutely fine now.

“Yeah, thanks.”

There was a pause.

“So err, I should get going,” said Kaito, “catch you later.”

“Oh, alright then. See you around.”

Then Kaito was gone. 

“Who’s that, your boyfriend?” Mayumi said over her shoulder.

“N-no, just a friend.”

Mayumi smiled knowingly, 

“You meet your friends often in the back section then?”

“Oh, er, um, I was just looking, didn’t know he was here.”

“Nah, I’m just teasing. I know I’ll be the first to know if you ever hook-up.”

“Yeah...sure.”

As they waited in the queue to buy their books, Mayumi raised an eyebrow at the pile in Sayuri’s hands.

”Really Sayuri-chan, we have a whole nice bookshop and that’s what you get?”

Sayuri pouted. “But I like these ones.”

—  
Sayuri whiled away the rest of the afternoon by breaking out a sweat on a rooftop. She had asked Mayumi to train with her, but she had declined, saying that she was training with someone else, although she wouldn’t say who. Oh well, water clones would have to do.

The bouquet of flowers waiting for her when she arrived home were obviously not something Obito had made up himself—an arrangement of antique pink roses and lilies, combined with white alstroemeria.

“Are they alright? I wasn’t sure what to get...”

“They’re beautiful, thank you,” she said, and kissed him fully on the lips, knocking him back onto the bed.

Later she climbed off his lap, and gave soft, gentle kisses to the marks on his neck.

“Did you like it like that? Was I too rough?”

He took a little time to answer, his breathing heavy. “No...it was...great. Amazing, even. ”

“Well good, because I want to do it again.”

“What, right now?”

“No, I meant—”, then she realised he was grinning and rolled her eyes. “Silly old man.”

—

In the cool of the early winter afternoon, Sayuri stretched out her chakra, keeping her body at just the right balance atop the water. Often, she swam in the lake, or trained atop of it. Today, she would simply float.

The lakes were not without their dangers, and each year there was at least one who had miscalculated a step, and were never to be seen again. The first time Sayuri lay down atop of the water she had attracted the attention of a concerned civilian. They were suitably relieved to find that Amegakure’s Red Shadow had not in fact met their untimely demise, but Sayuri thought it better to save herself the embarrassment, and from then on only went to the lakes that were situated in quieter parts of the village.

Of course, there were the swimming pools, but Sayuri found it far too cramped under the yellow lights and pervading smell of chlorine. Besides, they could only be booked for two hour sessions at a time, and the staff were very exact about the timings. Far better was it to float in peace and solitude, her hair flowing out behind her in clouds of red.

Sometimes she would wonder what it would be like to just carry on floating, neither forwards or back, but just to drift. Would it be like that in the dream world of Tsuki no Me? She hoped not. She wanted to do things, in whichever world she found herself in. To run and jump and spin and turn and dodge and kick and swim and kiss and make love.

A movement on the bank caught her attention, and she sat up on the water, the ends of her hair dragging in the lake. Tomoya was crouched by the side of the lake, scarf trailing on the bank.

  
“Hey, Sayuri-chan, I’ve got a mission for you.”

—

When she entered home, hair wrung out and clothes still wet, Sayuri met Pain in the hallway, who arched a brow at her appearance.

“You’ll get sick.”

Sayuri considered the stoic-face pierced man for a moment. To think she had been so wary of him when she was younger. Now she paid him no mind, except to keep out his way. And it’s not like she could have any real meaningful conversation with him, well except about the whole ‘end-of-the-world’ business.

It wasn’t like to show any overt concern about her welfare. At least, not to her face. But when she was in the hospital, he would complain that she was wasting resources, and when she came out of the hospital, (against the doctor’s wishes, but they had eventually conceded, saying it was fine as long as she rested) Pain complained tha she wasn’t jumping up immediately to complete missions once she had been discharged.

“It’s no good you being ill here, why don’t you stay where they’ll treat you?” 

She had cheekily answered, 

“I don’t like the hospital. It makes me sicker.”

Pain made no response, merely keeping his stony expression.

For a few days after, Sayuri was worried that she may have overstepped. And then what was she going to do if Pain banished her from living in Amegakure (which was the most likely scenario she could envision in her head)? Live in the Kamui dimension she supposed.

In the end, such drastic measures were never taken, and though Pain didn’t outwardly show a great liking towards her, Sayuri thought that his opinion of her had improved at least a bit,   
at least to the point of, if not like, liveable tolerance.

Now, he seemed to be showing some sort of concern. As if she was going to get sick from being in water.

“I’ll try not to,” she replied.

“Good. There are many missions to do.”

So that was it. Well, it did help the village when she was raking in 10,000,000 ryo a time.  
And she never remained idle for too long. 

—

“Are you sure?” Obito asked her later that night, as they lay together naked under the covers, bodies covered in sweat. Sayuri lifted her head from where she had been tracing the bruises on his neck. She pressed into one.

“Does it hurt?”

He shook his head, but his eyes had that slight glazed look, an echo of when she had earlier put her fingers around his neck and slowly thrust her hips into his.

“But Sayuri,” he held her hand now, caressing it slowly with his thumb, “Are you sure you want to go on a mission now?”

“I want to go, it’s with Tomoya-sensei.”

He nodded and opened his arms to accommodate her as she slid closer to him.

“Don’t worry, you can come with me next-time, you can be my backup.”

He raised an eyebrow at that.

“I’m your backup?”

“Yeah,” she traced circles on his chest, “I wouldn’t put the pressure of command on an old man’s shoulders.”

His chest heaved in a laugh, then his gaze dropped to the bedsheets, and a look of pain passed across his face. Sayuri wondered if she had gone too far.

“I’m only teasing. I don’t really think you’re old”

“I know sweetheart.”

“Good,” she said, and gave him a gentle kiss on the lips.

—

The next day Sayuri read her new book sitting crossed legged on the bed, while Obito sat behind her brushing out her hair. At times she deliberately angled the text so he would be able to read over her shoulder, and after a particularly juicy section, she turned to him, all a grin.

Obito turned red and looked away.

“See anything you like?”

He stammered something about it not really being his thing and she took advantage of his embarrassment and snatched the brush from him.

“My turn.”

She had him sit still as she haphazardly pulled the comb through his hair.

“Why is your hair so sticky uppy?” Sayuri complained, yanking the brush through a knot.

“Ow!” he snapped in irritation, pulling his head away, and turning towards her, “What are you doing?!”

“Combing your hair.” Wasn’t he paying attention?

“Yes, my hair, not my scalp.”

“Well you’re not sitting still,” she pouted. Catch her ever offering to brush his hair again.

He gave a little “heh” of laughter.

“What?” Sayuri frowned.

“Nothing.” Then he smiled, and looked all the more beautiful for the crows lines that appeared as he did so.

“Obito.”

“Hmm?”

“Love you,” she said quietly.

“Love you too.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I keep saying that biches need therapy. Turns out I'm biches. Part of the reason I've been so long updating.
> 
> Thank you darlings. Especially for all the kudos and comments.


	34. Aubergines in Miso soup

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Titled inspired by R.M.Õtsutsuki’s fic, ‘Silhouette’ on quotev, where I was graced with knowledge of Kakashi’s eating habits. Apparently it’s canon, look it up.

  
“Can I get something to eat?” Sayuri asked the day before her mission with Tomoya, resting her head on Obito’s chest, his arm around her. 

“Sure, what do you want?”

“Don’t know.”

“Broccoli?” The detested vegetable was offered with a smirk.

Sayuri pulled a face. “Eurgh, no!”

“Aubergines in Miso soup?”

“Eww,” Sayuri scrunched up her nose, “Who’s going to eat that? That’s disgusting.”

“My friend likes it...”

“Your friend’s weird.”

“Yeah he is a bit I suppose,” Obito replied, combing his fingers through her hair.

“What’s their name again?”

“Kakashi…”

“Wait.” Sayuri pulled away from him, and took out a tiny scroll from her sash to reveal a well-used bingo book. The Amegakure bingo book was remade annually, but because of the rapid changing nature of the shinobi world, it was rarely up to date. Personal copies were usually marked with scribblings on additional intel, such as techniques and last sightings and red lines for deceased enemies. There were even blank pages in the pack in case a new profile had to be added.

Sometimes there were pictures, for missing-nin where their home country would give up the valuable information, but for those shinobi still loyal to their homeland (yet posing a threat to Amegakure), there was often only the physical description to go off of.

Too long Sayuri had pored over the pages, trying to learn them all by name. It had nearly brought her to tears, until Reika had pointed out that the names weren’t really necessary.

“I mean, what am I going to do, ask for their autograph?”

“What will you do if you do meet one of these people Reika-chan?” 

“Run for my fucking life.”

Now, Sayuri looked through the pages until she stopped upon one,

“This guy? Hatake Kakashi…” she read out, then looked up to see Obito, who nodded once. She continued reading.

“...of the sharingan…” She turned to look Obito in the eyes. Sometimes she thought she could see his soul so clearly through them, but then, he didn’t always have two. “Did you give him yours?”

A nod. 

“And then, you got another one…” Sayuri didn’t speculate on where from. Some things weren’t worth the confrontation. She shouldn’t let things go so easily, but then… 

Sometimes you just had to pick your battles.

He reached out his hand to her face, and she fell into his arms. Gave a kiss to her forehead and a long, drawn out sigh.

They sat in silence awhile.

“So what’s your friend up to now?”

“Oh, he’s um, trying to get a genin team.”

“Well, it’s a good job you don’t have a genin team, don’t want tips from you, you’re far too bossy.”

“Heh.”

“Do you see him often?”

“No…,” Obito turned his gaze to the window and the storm clouds brewing outside, “not really, I—we haven’t met since—since the accident.”

“What do you mean?” Sayuri bit her lip, “Don’t you want to see him?”

“It’s best not to complicate things,” he replied, his tone dull.

“But....if he hasn’t seen you since…” Sayuri slotted things together in her mind, “Does he think you’re...he thinks you’re dead?”

Now Obito’s tone was harsh. “It wouldn’t matter if I was dead or not.”

She leaned her head on his shoulder, “Sometimes I feel it would be better if I was dead too.”

“Sayuri...don’t say things like that. Please.”

“Well, don’t you say things like that!” Sayuri snapped, lifting her head from his shoulder, “I just can’t believe...have you been on your own all this time?”

“It doesn’t matter about me,” he said, and looked so dejected that Sayuri wanted to put her arms around him and banish whatever shadows had made a home in his mind.

“Yes it does. Don’t you see, it’s the only reason I think it will be worth it to try? To try for this world of dreams? So it either does matter or it doesn’t and you can go ahead and say I don’t matter then.”

“I just meant…” he tucked a strand of her hair behind her ear, where it had become loose from her ponytail, “I don’t want you to worry about me.”

“Like that’s going to stop me.”

“Yes...I realise.”

A beat passed.

“Well, I would like some ramen please. The proper one, not the instant kind.”

A smile.

“Sure.”

—

Nishikawa, the Land of Rain’s second city, (or was it the first?) was situated on the far west of the country, bordering the Land of Stone.

Arriving from the south, one would not be able to see the village until you were almost on top of it, coming up over the hill. With the wooden houses and the river cutting a line through the middle. It looked like any other traditional village, if not for the swooping roofed palace situated in the middle. And although it no longer held a living daimyo, it was still symbolic of Nishikawa’s status in the Land of Rain. 

There was talk of strangers about, from as far as the Land of the Rice Paddies.

All Amegakure shinobi had been strictly cautioned to avoid the Land of Rice Paddies, unless absolutely necessary for the mission. Of course, it wasn’t officially confirmed, but a certain ex-Konoha nin was more or less known to be operating out of that area, even if the Land of Fire were reluctant to say anything to the fact.

“Sensei...if people from the Land of Rice Paddies are here, does that mean...should we...should we have some more people with us?”

Sayuri was loath to just give up on a mission, but she was conscious of doing things properly. 

“Nah, what they want with a little village like this? Probably got much more important things to do, like chase after members of a problematic clan.”

While it was some way from the steel spires of Amegakure, the more traditional village was at least afforded some form of protection and a lot of Sayuri’s missions as chuunin were to form part of the patrol.

The two guards they met today gave no further information than what was on the written report. Suspicious activity near the palace.

Sayuri wondered what they meant by ‘suspicious’. Could mean anything.

They thanked the guards and moved towards the heart of the village.

“Do you think it might be a ghost?”

“A ghost? What makes you say that?” Tomoya grinned.

Sayuri frowned. It wasn’t meant to be funny. “The daimyo! Maybe he wants revenge.”

“Okay, Tomoya flung his scarf over his shoulder from where it has loosened, “Let’s say it is revenge. Which, as you and I both know, Sayuri-chan , the daimyo, who is actually still alive, died of a sudden and unexpected death, and completely of natural causes, absolutely no foul play instigated by advertisements for the body modification shop involved. Let’s say it’s a ghost. My question is how would he do it if you have no hands?”

“Eh?” Sayuri was well and truly confused.

“Ghosts! They’re not corporeal beings. You’ve got to have something to do the deed.”

“What’s um—what’s coppereel mean—wait, where are we going?” Sayuri asked as she noticed Tomoya was not leading them towards the steps of the palace, but away, towards the market street of Nishikawa.

“What’s the point of them having a market if we don’t go to it?”

“But our mission…”

“Exactly right Sayuri-chan, always helps to be prepared,” Tomoya replied, setting a brisk pace down the path.

“Didn’t you prepare before we left?”

The villagers barely gave them a glance as they hurried by. While some villages in the Land of Rain would gawk at the shinobi, Nishikawa was used to their presence. Normally Sayuri would all be one for taking in the sights, but they needed to focus. This mission was key.

“Mission schmission,” Tomoya said, “Some preparation can only be done here. And it’s only a little snoop around.”

They stopped at a stall with vegetables, and tending it, a very familiar face.

Irori, and her husband, Masahi. The toddler making pictures with a stick in the ground must have been their son, Komugi, and in Irori’s sling, a new baby with tight curls atop its little head.

“Tomoya-san, Sayuri-chan, “ Irori greeted warmly, “Fancy seeing you here?”

“Oh, um—”

Tomoya cut in.

“Just a bit of a wonder, seeing everything is in shape, absolutely nothing wrong of course, especially not with the Daimyo’s palace,” he stopped to coo at the baby, “and who is this?”

“I’m Komugi!” Komugi piped up, waving his stick aloft.

“Yes you are,” Irori smiled, “And this is Kyabeji, she’s 5 months.”

“Hello sweetie! Now aren’t you a cute one,” Tomoya said, Kyabeji smiling at them.

“Oh carrots! I love carrots, what a sight.”

While Tomoya was engrossed in the vegetables, Irori turned to Sayuri,

“You are well aren’t you? I had those teammates of yours come over. They told me you were sick.”  
  
“Oh, um,” Sayuri nibbled at her lip, “I’m fine.”

“That’s great. Do come round if you need a cup of tea, anything…”

“Sure,” Sayuri smiled, “Daisuke and Nanako, are they okay?”

“They’re great. At home, still got things to do on the farm.”

Tomoya ended up purchasing a sweet potato. 

One, single, sweet potato.

“Always take a sweet potato on a mission Sayuri, “ he aimed it towards her, “Rule number one.”

“Number one?.”

“Yes,” he tossed it nonchalantly in the air, caught it with one hand, and pocketed it, “Rule number one: I never lie.”

“Um, okay…Are we going to the palace now, then?”

“One last thing.”

He led them down the street, to a very familiar looking trader.

“Koji!” Tomoya greeted enthusiastically, clasping the older man by the arm, “How have you been?”

“As well as I can in these old bones,” the trader replied, matching his tone with Tomoya’s, “I see you’re as youthful as ever.”

Sayuri narrowed her eyes. “You two know each other?”

“Of course we do!” Tomoya exclaimed, turning to face her, “Koji is an old friend of mine. We fought together at the battle of Sori-la.”

Sori-la? Sayuri had never heard of any Sori-la. But then, there were many things Sayuri had never heard of.

“It’s the name of a river. Over there somewhere,” Tomoya gestured with his hand to nowhere in particular, “Koji is where I get my wool.”

Sayuri looked down at the merchant’s table. Sure enough it was covered in bundles of wool, all in different fantastical shades that mirrored Tomoya’s scarf.

Strange. She didn’t recall seeing them there before. But she probably wasn’t looking properly.

As Tomoya examined the merchandise, oohing and aahing over them, Koji sidled up to her.

“Did you keep the necklace I gave you?”

“Err...yes.” It was probably tucked in a draw somewhere. How on earth he remembered she didn’t know.

“You may need it. It will show you the way.”

Sayuri nodded dubiously. He made less sense than Tomoya, who was filling his coat with bundles and bundles of wool. No wonder they were friends. 

She didn’t mind so much. While Tomoya’s carefree crypticism had her more often than not, bemused, it was a welcome relief from someone who was equally confusing, yet ten times more infuriating. 

But so, so lovely.

Obito had apologised earlier;

“Just because I feel a certain way doesn’t mean you should.”

Sayuri had huffed at this.

“What?”

“I want you to be happy! That’s the whole point.”

He had looked at her, stunned.

“Sayuri, I…”

She had taken advantage of his dazed expression and kissed him tenderly on the lips. 

There, that would wipe that look off his face. Silly old man.

“Right,” Tomoya said, rubbing his hands together, “You ready to catch a ghost?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Who even is Tomoya, anyway?
> 
> And, thank you all for your comments! I love reading all of them and make sure I take my time to reply. If I have missed yours then please let me know.


	35. The puppet master

Sayuri stood before the palace at Nishikawa, tall and imposing, white walls and sloping grey roofs framed with gold. Once the home of the hated bourgeoisie. Now a relic-turned-monument to the god that ruled these parts.

Inside was not the clear darkness of the night that spoke of mystery and wonder. This was a pervading, suffocating gloom. Broken only by the dust-filled sunbeams that crept through the closed blinds. It ticked at her throat and pressed at her head. She wanted to go back out that door and take herself as far away from that place as possible. 

“We’ll split up,” Tomoya said, taking control, “Reconvene in the central chamber.”

Sayuri nodded, and set off on her way.

Doing a quick scope of her chakra yielded no results. There was either no-one here (not likely), they were concealing their chakra (most likely), or they were someone that did not really have a chakra system (also not likely and the most concerning theory out of all of them. Sayuri already knew one person without a proper chakra system and had no desire to meet another.)

She pressed on. The rooms were bare: the inside stripped of all grandeur that would mark the home of a daimyo. Now, it was just a barren, dreary house.

She’d recalled Tomoya saying earlier that this mission would be fun.

This wasn’t Sayuri’s idea of fun.

It grew yet darker, signalling a change in the weather, and a few moments later, the pitter-patter of the rain could be clearly heard, growing in intensity. It was a welcoming sound in an unfamiliar place.

Silly really, it wasn’t as if anything truly terrible was going to happen here. It was just a creepy old house. She could look after herself. And Tomoya was nearby, if things turned really bad.

And then she arrived in the next room.

Sayuri was not unaccustomed to seeing dead bodies, but she rarely looked upon them as a matter of choice. At funerals she would stay a respectful distance back, even though she could not see the corpse inside of the casket. It was just a body. It was nothing. Reika, mangled and broken at the bottom of the tower, was nothing. Just flesh and bones. Flesh and bones. 

This body here, laid out on the floor of the palace, looked almost serene in death. How lucky, lucky they were. But this one, it looked wrong, laid out perfectly with no signs of trauma. On the field she would see the bodies burned or stabbed or strangled or drowned.

Not that she stared. She endured the few seconds to check that they were truly dead. To keep herself safe, was the official answer, but to herself, because she couldn’t bear to see a death long and drawn out and suffering. Even if they were her enemy.

Her enemy. They were always chosen for her. Who she should fight. It was Amegakure’s enemy. Not hers. 

But sometimes, she had the luxury to dictate who her enemy was.

Sometimes, it was easy.

The body jolted and sat up, as if a puppet on a string. Then the lips were pulled back, mouth stretched wide by invisible hooks, in a macabre grimace, teeth gleaming in the dark. Inwardly Sayuri felt sick at the spectacle, but she managed to keep her mask of stoic professionalism.

“Do you like my work?”

Sayuri’s breath hitched and she whirled around. There was no chakra, not a footstep, not a sign.

She threw a kunai at the man standing in the shadows. He sidestepped it and it hit the wall with a clatter, falling noisily to the floor.

The man tutted, “Don’t be so testy.”

Sayuru readied for another atack, but before she could weave the signs, her hands were wrapped with invisible string, hindering her movements.

“Let me show you more,” the man said calmly, walking through the door at the far end of the room.

Sayuri had no choice but to follow. 

The lifeless eyes of the corpse followed them as they went, moving from side to side like those of a doll.

The main room of the palace had been turned into a laboratory, with tables lined with jars of things. Pills and plants and strange liquids and, much to Sayuri’s horror, what looked like body parts stuck into jars.

At the centre was a fold-up bed and in the middle, sitting on the white sheets, part man-part machine. Their legs were covered in trousers, so Sayuri could not tell whether those remained human or not, and she could see the purple toes sticking out from underneath. But the torso was punctured with wires that led to machines that beeped and flashed. The forearms were made of metal and wires, and then, while the head was human, the mouth was stitched together.

One of the machine hands reached out to a nearby table, and handed the scientist a bottle of some orange liquid. In turn, the man took a small vial of something bright blue from his white lab coat and added it to the bottle. Nothing happened.

Sayuri was able to get a better look at the man now. His hair was neatly combed, and under the coat he wore a knitted vest and brown corduroy trousers. He looked harmless, if not for the mad glint in his eye.

“Beautiful things, puppets, aren’t they?”

Sayuri only glowered.

“Speciality of my home. But of course you’d know all about them, that is, you have talked to the boy, haven’t you? He joined your cause after all.”

Sayuri had expected snakes. It didn’t make sense. And what did this man mean, ‘the cause’?

He continued,

“Just wait until they see, my magnificence. The wonderful things I have created,” He became theatrical, animated, holding his hands up to the sky, “I am meant for greatness.”

With a whisper of her chakra, her hands were free from the bindings, but Sayuri kept them clasped in front.

“Is that why you left Konoha? To hide out in a ruined castle alone?”

The man lowered his hands, and looked Sayuri in the eye.

“Konoha? Why would I be in Konoha?”

It was then Sayuri realised that she had perhaps miscalculated. Behind the man, in the far doorway, she saw Tomoya enter the room, a finger to his lips.

“You’re not...Orochimaru?”

He slammed his hands down on the table so that all the bottles shook.

“Do I look like that swine? I am a master of my craft! The greatest doctor Sunagakure has ever had, if only they could see it!” He stepped towards Sayuri, one hand outstretched, “You, you ignorant girl, do you not know before who you stand?” His voice became quiet, “In this room, there is one the most powerful of all. All it takes is a whisper in the right ear, and even a god will concede.” 

This man was Akio Suda. Who had terrorised the people of Rain, used them for his cruel experiments. Mutilated the bodies of Hirayama Taro and his team.

Sometimes, it was easy for Sayuri to find her enemies. Sometimes, she didn’t even have to choose. And then the red hot anger fuelled her insides, she looked at Suda with rage.

Weaving signs quickly, Sayuri targeted the rogue doctor with a raging waves jutsu, which he contoured with a wind style, slicing through the water, so that the attack was rendered largely useless.

Sayuri hurled another kunai at him, which narrowly missed, causing a mocking grin to appear on Suda’s face.

It was no matter to Sayuri if it missed however, and if her enemy was to patronise her so be it. She made a handsign to release the seal that was inscribed on the bindings wrapped around the handle of the kunai, and a mighty fireball was unleashed, causing Suda to swerve it with a curse. He was unable to evade it entirely however, and Sayuri was glad to see him wince from the heat.

Tomoya had managed to creep up behind Suda, and manipulated his scarf so it shot out, wrapped around Suda’s ankles, and knocked him to the floor. Sayuri took the advantage to pull up the leftover water from her last jutsu, shape it into senbon like shards and fire them at Suda, but then her attention was swayed by a painful grip on her arm.

She looked in the direction of the pull on her arm to see the man-puppet-machine had extended their artificial limbs to make a claw around Sayuri, and now she was caught in their ferocious grip.

Baing her teeth, Sayuri tried to wrestle herself free, but the grip was steadfast, and sharp blades were ineffective against the machinery. It was also futile to use her chakra to aid her release. In panic, she flashed her eyes towards Tomoya to help, but he was caught up with Suda, who had unleashed more puppet minions. They did not look half-human, which was a relief, but the dolls, standing at about 2 feet, had painted faces which were more than uncanny, the creepiness mirrored in the face of Suda, standing above them controlling the strings.

Sayuri looked up at the roof. It was in a bad state of repair, and drops of the thunderous rain hammering atop of it would find their way in. Using the arm that wasn’t encased in the puppet’s grasp, she attached an exploding tag to a kunai and sent it upwards.

“Hah,” was the mocking glee of Suda, “missed.”

It exploded, the roof broke away, and the downpour came into the room with a vengeance. It was enough of a distraction for Tomoya to gain the upper hand, and for Sayuri to wrench herself free of the puppet.

She started forming the signs for a water dragon jutsu (though her arm ached) , but then the puppet-man-machine’s hands went to her neck. As she choked and struggled, she still formed the signs, and sent the water dragon (a weak effect, but it would have to do) into the machinery. The metal hand on her neck shuddered, and then it was still. Sayuri pulled the fingers away and her eyes turned to Suda, who was still locked in battle against Tomoya.

Tomoya had managed to best the puppets, and for a moment, it looked like they had had him (Sayuri was already making a beeline for the sick doctor, drawing her sword), but then an almighty wind ripped through the place, pulling Sayuri into the vortex and throwing her up into the air. 

She managed to survive the fall, using her chakra as a cushion. It was a last-minute rudimentary technique and used far too much of her chakra than she would have liked, but it saved her breaking her neck. Except a piece of the machinery which had also been caught up in the jutsu was hurtling towards her, and Sayuri could not move her aching body to avoid it. 

When she thought she was going to be crushed, Tomoya’s scarf lassoed around the falling object, diverting its course.

Then it was still.

Suda had disappeared. No chakra, nothing.

Sayuri struggled to her feet to chase after him, but her leg caused her searing pain and she fell back to the ground with a bump. Her whole body ached.

“Sayuri, you’re not in any fit state to go chasing after him.”

“But...he’s,” she looked over at what was left at the puppet-man-machine, folded on the bed, machine arms dangling from the elbow, “that poor man.

“Yeah, I know, “ Tomoya crouched down, “get on.”

“What?”

“Get on. You can’t walk home like that.”

“But...the mission…”

“Yeah, we’ve done the mission, scoped it out, Akio Suda, okay, that’s nice, let’s go back.”

“But we can’t just leave! He’s still out there. He’s meant to be in prison, he’s meant to be locked away, “ her breath hitched, throat dry, ”and now he’s here, and I don’t know. He killed Hirayama Taro.”

Tomoya straightened up to look at her.

“And a lot of other people too. But it’s no good us staying here, we should get back, and give them the intel as fast as we can.”

“I want to kill him.”

Tomoya’s eyes narrowed, his usual carefree demeanour belying something darker.

“And that’s exactly why we need to go home,” he crouched once again, “Now, are you getting on?”

—

She was sent straight to the hospital as soon as she got back, of course, and then had to sit for a long twenty minutes under the green glow of Masuo’s sister, Mimi.

“I don’t want you doing anything strenuous. No missions for seven days, do you understand?”

“What about training?”

“Light training. You need to rest, complete rest for 48 hours, understand?”

“Yes,” Sayuri uttered moodily, “Can I go?”

“No missions for a week I said, alright?”

“I want to go home.”

Mimi sighed. “Take it easy, Sayuri-chan, alright.”

“Okay, sorry...I’m tired.”

“I’m sure you are, “ Mimi smiled, “Go on, you can go home now.”

—

Pain met her in the hallway, rinnegan eyes glowing in the gloom. Sayuri sighed to herself. She just wanted to go to bed, to fall into Obito’s arms.

“How long are you off for this time?”

“They said seven days.”

“Five. You heal fast.”

“Eh?”

“You are an Uzumaki aren’t you? You heal fast.”

“Well, I—Well I think, I don’t know—”

“It wasn’t a question.”

Sayuri bit at her lip. “Oh, okay.”

“I want you back out by the weekend.”

—

She was woken up by Obito in the middle of the night, slipping his arms around her. She fumbled in the dark, half awake, and pulled his arm to bring him closer.

“Sorry,” he whispered against her neck, “Zetsu told me you weren’t back yet.”

Well of course Zetsu would say that.

She rolled over to face him. “I’m just glad that you’re home.”

His hand came up to finger through her fringe.

“Did everything go okay? With the mission?”

She lifted her eyes to him briefly then sighed.

“Akio Suda was there.”

“Did you—are you okay?”

“I’m fine. Pain wants me back out within a week.”

“What, Sayuri, no, you need to rest.”

“I’m sure I’ll be fine.” She settled into the pillow, intent on getting some much needed sleep.

“No, Sayuri…I’ll talk to him.”

She lifted her head with a start.

“Please don’t. The plan, remember? That’s more important, isn’t it?“

“Not more than you,” he said, very quietly. At least, Sayuri thought he might have done. He was mumbling and she was still sleepy so she couldn’t have been sure she heard him right.

“Pain…” Obito ran his fingers through her hair, “He hasn’t been saying things to you, has he?”

She shook her head. “No, just tonight. He did seem especially tense, come to think of it,” Sayuri admitted, once again settling her body close to Obito’s.

It was his turn to sigh.

“I think I know why.”

“Hmm?”

“I just don’t see that we need to rush things. Just let things be as they are, just for a bit. “

His fingers found hers and linked their hands together.

“Just for a little bit.” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ...this is a mess.
> 
> Okay, this title could be a little misleading. No Sasori in this fic, sorry. Actually, not much of the other Akatsuki at all. In a few chapters I am trying to write in a particular duo, but I haven't got a lot, sorry.
> 
> There was going to be some difficult dialogue in this chapter. (Difficult as in hard to write.) Difficult dialogue was being difficult so it's being moved to the next chapter.
> 
> What is Obito even doing right now? Apart from snuggling with his girlfriend?
> 
> Anyway, the point is Sayuri may have added another person to her 'mortal enemy' list, points for guessing who else is on the list?
> 
> Thank you for all your support darlings
> 
> Oh yeah I forgot to say, does anyone draw? I would like some art done of my darlings if anyone is interested.
> 
> I would compensate you for your time of course.
> 
> Drop your rates and page of your work/socials in a message or a comment or something. 


	36. Civic Duty

She slept and when she woke the room was bright, the morning already half wasted away.

Obito was awake of course, sitting up in bed, reading a book. His reading material looked to be lighter than the dusty old tomes he seemed to be drawn to, which was a comfort. Sayuri thought that you could read too much about death and destruction, and that can’t be good for you. Of course, he would never touch the novels she enjoyed, though she let him read over her shoulder if he liked.

His expression was one of deep contemplation, but when she greeted him he turned to her and gave her one of those soft smiles of his, the happiness blossoming in her heart.

After breakfast she cut his hair, kneeling behind him while he sat on the bed. She worked in silence, the only sounds being the snip snip of the scissors and the gently falling rain.

When she was done, she chewed upon her lip, waiting for his reaction.

“That’s great,” he smiled reassuringly, “Thank you.”

  
Sayuri wasn’t wholly convinced. It didn’t look too bad, but she was sure it wasn’t a professional cut.

“Are you sure it’s okay? Don’t you want to look in the mirror?” 

He blanched at that. “No, no, I’m fine sweetheart.”

“Obito?” Her hand went to cup her face, delicate fingers resting upon his scars.

He took her hand and pressed a chaste kiss to the tips of her digits.

“Sayuri, I’m fine.”

And then he rose and brought her into a tight hug.

“Thank you.”

—

The afternoon she spent roaming the streets of the village. After all, the hospital didn’t say she couldn’t walk around. It wasn’t particularly strenuous.

She had a mind to visit the cemetery but when she neared it she abandoned the idea, and ended up in the more neglected part of the village.

Kaito was sitting outside of his house with an elderly man. They were in the midst of the argument, and although Sayuri didn’t deliberately strain her ears, she couldn't help but hear parts of the conversation as she neared.

“Grandpa, you have to do it,” Kaito was saying, “It’s the right thing.”

“Pain is nothing but a pain,” The grandpa retorted, “What has he ever done for me?”

“Shh!” Kaito hissed, “You can’t say stuff like that—Ah, Sayuri-san,” Kaito had realised Sayuri’s presence and stood up, “My grandpa...my grandpa is having a major surgery soon. So he’s just worked up about that. He’s speaking nonsense.”

“Oh,” Sayuri waved her hand dismissively, “I didn’t hear anything.”

“My grandpa. He spoke just now?”

“I didn’t hear,” Sayuri repeated.

There was a beat as Kaito’s brow creased in confusion, then comprehension dawned.

“Oh. Okay thank you.”

“I hope his surgery goes well,” Sayuri said sincerely.

“We’ve been waiting a while. It’s meant to be with this doctor? Umeda Ichirou? Do you know him?”

“Masuo’s dad!” Sayuri beamed.

“Who?”

“My teammate.” Wasn’t it obvious?

“...Okay. Anyway, he’s meant to be really good. I hope he’s worth the wait.”

“How long have you been waiting?”

“Some months, pretty much since we got here.”

Some months? That didn’t seem right. They always saw Sayuri straight away. She bit at her lip, frowning.

“What?”

“Oh I just thought they’d see your grandpa sooner, seeing if he’s sick.”

  
Kaito shrugged. “I guess that’s how things are. Thanks for, you know, my grandpa—he’s uh, set in his ways.”

—

Next stop was the sweet shop, it’s shiny red exterior beckoning to her. At 16 she made a proclamation that she had grown out of consuming sugary treats at such a rate. Her tastes, much like her, had matured.

“So you don’t want pancakes then?” Obito had said.

“No. I’m fine. I’m grown-up now.”

That idea was short-lived. And when the new sweet shop appeared, she must have something. It would be rude, after all, not to support new businesses.

When she arrived home with a full bag of sweets that very day, Obito had merely smiled at her and said he was glad she was feeling better 

Now, as she looked around the shop trying to decide on what was the best thing to satisfy her craving (and if she was being honest, something that would help her feel like less of a failure), she was interrupted by a familiar voice.

“Thought I’d find you here.”

“Oh,” Sayuri smiled bashfully. At least Mayumi had never judged her for her eating habits. She looked as if she had returned from her mission, not even changed out of her battle-worn gear.

“So what are you after?” Mayumi said cheerily, “these look nice!” She gestured at the bowls of colourful sugared chocolates.

Sayuri stared bewildered, Mayumi wasn’t one to typically share in her sugar-induced enthusiasm, and after missions she would be eager to rush home, and shower off her travels.

“Mayumi-chan…” Sayuri began cautiously, “...are you alright?”

“Of course! Why wouldn’t I be?”

“Just thought you would want to get some rest, after your mission.”

There was an uncomfortable pause, until Mayumi eventually replied,

“I’m restless. Took me ages to get in, some new restrictions at the gate or something.”

Sayuri was intrigued. More often than not she would just breeze through, with a smile to Ezume, but she knew it wasn’t easy for everyone. Still, it was strange that Mayumi would have a hard time getting in.

“Huh?”

“Yeah, they’re tightening security for some reason. I think…” she placed her hand reassuringly on Sayuri’s arm, “You are okay aren’t you? I’d heard what happened. It’s not your fault you know, Suda should never have been there.”

At that, Sayuri’s hand clutched tightly around the bag of jellied sweets she was holding.

“He should be dead,” she spat.

There was a pause, and Mayumi’s hand slowly dropped away.

“Do you want to go to the hot springs later? I’ve gotta go home and change, get something to eat. But afterwards, we could talk then?”

—

The hot springs in Amegakure weren’t anything special. Nothing like the sights in the Land of Hot Water that had you making a booking to get into. Even if there were tourists to the Village Hidden in the Rain, it wouldn’t be a place you would necessarily point out. But they were sufficient enough for the inhabitant’s purposes. A place to soothe your aching bones. To forget about your troubles for a while. To spend time with friends. Those that were still here.

Mayumi was looking more like herself, having showered off her mission. Honeyed blonde curls with the ever-present paper butterfly, and blue eyes framed with fluttery eyelashes. Full cherry-pink lips. To Sayuri, it seemed that she had hardly changed in the ten years she had known her.

But then everything had changed.

“I almost got him you know,” Sayuri found herself saying, “I could have made him pay.”

Mayumi’s brow creased with worry.

“If I had known Suda was there, I would have come with you. I want him gone too. But, Sayuri-chan, don’t beat yourself up about it. It’s not your fault.”

It was her fault, Sayuri wanted to stubbornly point out. And Mayumi would probably say something annoyingly sensible in reply and absolve Sayuri of all blame. But she was more focused on the other part of Mayumi’s reply. She had thought that Mayumi would never want to come on a mission with her again, after what had happened last time.

“You want to come with me? On a mission?”

“Well yes silly, of course I do.”

“I thought…” she bit at her lip, “...last time…”

At that, Mayumi’s expression softened. “You needed a break. It’s important you don’t overtire yourself. That’s why you need me around yeah, gotta look out for you.”

—

Pain was unavoidable when Sayuri arrived home. Just what she needed, someone complaining. 

“Sayuri.”

She held his cool gaze. “Yes?”

“You...are you resting like the doctors said? I hope you manage to recover well.”

“Oh...yes, I am, Thank you.”

“Suda, was there anyone else with him?”

“No.”

“We’ve managed to tighten security, so the people should be safe for now.”

That explained what was going on at the gate, at least. It didn’t explain Pain’s uncommon behaviour.

“I hope you know how much the village appreciates you. Your service is invaluable.”

“Oh, er—thank you,” Sayuri replied. Then made a quick excuse and escaped to the bedroom.

“You’re feeling better?” Obito smiled at her.

She looked at him in the warm yellow glow of the lamp. She was going to ask about Pain’s strange behaviour, but thought there was no harm in leaving it alone.

“Yes, I’m much better,” she smiled, and brought her lips to his in a kiss.

—

A week later, and Sayuri had not yet been called to another mission.

“When you get one, I will tell you,” Shimamoto said, “But I can’t just produce them out of thin air.”

“But…”

“Make use of your time off! Go see a show or something. Ice-skating, whatever you young ones do these days.”

Sayuri headed from the mission centre in confusion. Pain seemed eager enough to make her go out again before. Seeing how he interacted with ‘Madara’, things did not seem off, so maybe it was nothing.

That wasn’t the most disturbing thing.

Kaito’s grandpa had died in the hospital. The surgery had gone wrong, apparently. Unheard of, for Masuo’s father. His was a practiced hand.

Not that Sayuri knew anything about that of course. As she had told Kaito, she didn’t hear anything. It was a complication during surgery, nothing else.

But no matter the reason for his grandfather’s demise, Sayuri never saw Kaito in the village again.  
—  
Akio Suda was in the morning paper.

This time he had attacked a moving caravan. A travelling family affected from flooding in the west. He had cut them down, then chased after one who had managed to flee, leaving half their body strewn across the road. For the younger ones there was hardly enough body left to be buried.

Sayuri confronted Pain, rage building in her chest.

“He needs to be stopped. He needs to be terminated.”

Amegakure’s leader regarded her coolly.

“And what do you expect me to do about it?”

  
“Assemble a task force, take him out!”

“He left you two in the dust. You think it wise to lead my people in to be slaughtered? No, there are increased patrols, security is tightened in the village. Nobody is going anywhere.”

Sayuri couldn’t take it. How could you talk about something so calmly, when people’s lives were at stake?

“And what about them out there?!” She raged, “Or do they not matter?!”

The mask of calm flickered with a hint of annoyance.

And then,

“Sayuri.”

The commanding voice of Uchiha Madara echoed across the room.

Sayuri stopped. Took in a breath. Let it out slowly.

“Sunagakure can deal with him,” Pain said.

“I don’t want him to be dealt with. I want him dead.”

She wanted to rake his body across the dirt and snap his bones one by one. 

Once again that confident authority broke through her passion,

“Sayuri. Go to your room.”

....Or perhaps it just accelerated it. 

She wheeled around at him, her fury having found a new target. How dare he treat her like a child?! Then she saw his eye burning red, and her front crumbled.

“I-I’ll go.”

She ended up with her face buried in her pillow, sobbing bitterly at the unfairness of it all. 

It took all of five minutes for him to come to her, softly stroking her hair.

“Go away,” she mumbled, putting a stop to his attempts at comfort by placing the pillow over her head.  
  
“Okay, whatever you want sweetheart. I just wanted to tell you that I’ll be away for a few days.”

That had her remove the pillow from her head and sit up.

“Where are you going?” she sniffed.

“You said it,” he spoke softly, “He’s going to die.”

Sayuri stared numbly, watching as he prepared for the journey. Mask in hand, he came to the side of the bed to brush a kiss against her temple, but she turned her head, and had him kiss her on the lips, threading her fingers in his hair to hold him closer.

“Can I come with you?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi Darlings, I do hope you are bearing up well. It's been an anxious week, but the future is looking a little brighter.
> 
> Currently typing this in the parking lot of Four Seasons Landscaping.
> 
> I am sorry for such a short chapter after making you wait.
> 
> I spent a lot of time trying to write a scene that just didn't work. I don't like to think it as wasted time, as it was all efforts towards making the chapter, but I feel guilty when there is not much to show for it!
> 
> Thank you always for your support I so appreciate it and the comments really motivate me.


	37. Death of the Doctor

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Want to give special thanks to dollyx3yarie for always leaving such sweet comments. It means the world.

Suda was last seen in the village of Bosho and that is where they went, travelling by kamui.

It was dusk by the time they arrived, the greeting from the village not overtly warm. This was not the arrival of the hero-shinobi from Amegakure. These were two nondescript strangers, their clothes plain, their appearance equally so. 

It was quiet. Windows shuttered and doors locked. Suda could come but he would not hurt their family. Not this night.

The innkeeper regarded the two brown-haired travellers shrewdly, looking at them for a little longer than was comfortable. But money was money, and when the appropriate amount of coin was shown, he lent them the room with no further questions.

When the door was locked, curtains drawn, Sayuri let her disguise melt away and sunk down onto the futon.

“I can’t sense him.”

“Mmm,” Obito replied, still keeping up the facade of the brown-eyed civilian, leaning against the wall, arms folded guardedly in front of himself.

“...But then he was difficult to track last time too.”

After beating out the pillow to make it less lumpy, she complained,

“I don’t see why we couldn’t just stay in the kamui dimension.”

“You don’t like it,” he pointed out.

That was true. It was too quiet in there. She still wasn’t sure where the oxygen came from in that place.

When she was settled under the covers, she fished the amulet out of her shirt. It was circular in design, with cog-like etchings on the surface. She had slung it round her neck before they left. It probably did absolutely nothing, despite what the trader had said. But if she hadn’t taken it and things went wrong, she would use that as the excuse. Silly really. Nothing would go wrong.

“You will wake me when it’s my turn to lookout?”

Obito, who had finally released the transformation jutsu, kept his eyes trained on the sliver of a gap in the curtains.

“Of course. Get some sleep now, okay?”

—

Obito didn’t wake her. She slept in until morning. Luckily nothing had happened, else she would have been really cross.

“You should have woken me up to switch,” she said, tying her hair up into its requisite ponytail.

“I didn’t want to disturb you, you need your strength.”

“Well what about your strength?”

“I’m fine.”

According to Zetsu, Suda had made his camp in the woods outside of Bosho. The use of Obito’s spacetime jutsu made their journey quick, saving them having to trawl through the undergrowth. It was a wonder how Suda had got in.

Sayuri hesitated at the mouth of the cave. She couldn’t sense Suda’s chakra, yet. Last time she had been too reliant on the fact that she would be able to detect if someone was around. It had put her at a disadvantage, and he had managed to get away.

She wouldn’t make the same mistake twice.

This time, she was ready.

This time, he was going to die.

She took a breath, and the Red Shadow stepped into the gloom.

The palace had been quiet, in the sense of a home that had been long abandoned. The caves were quiet too, but the stillness was somehow comforting. It was funny how your fear was lessened, when you knew of the monster that lurked within. Or maybe it was her anger, her excitement of having the chance to enact her revenge.

Obito turned his gaze towards her, only his eyes moving, almost unnoticeable. His sharingan gleamed in the dark. There was so much to be conveyed through the eyes.

It was almost as if he was saying, “Sweetheart…” and telling her to not get so worked up.

Oh, right, anger led to failure. She had to remain calm, concentrated.

Perhaps he was regretting allowing her to go with him. She hadn’t really expected him to so readily agree to her plea. In fact, she had been shocked that he had even offered to go after Suda himself. He was willing to kill for her.

She wished he was willing to live. To forget about the Eye of the Moon. But that was a problem for another day. For now, her attention was solely on the one who had caused misery across the Land of Rain. Well, one such person.

She latched onto an unfamiliar chakra. It was faint, barely noticeable, but it was there.

Akio Suda was here.

Akio Suda was going to die.

His back was turned towards her, the white of his coat considerably greyed. The room was mostly empty; it seemed that Suda had not managed to bring any of his equipment here. It had been confiscated by Amegakure, Sayuri remembered with smug satisfaction. But that didn’t stop him from doing horrific things. Even now, he was working on a body, gouging out its inside. A very small body, Sayuri noted, from her spot in the shadows. A child.

She prepared herself to attack.

“Hello girly.”

She didn’t answer him. There was no time to lose. Swiftly, she launched herself at him, aiming for his neck.

He sidestepped her, but she pivoted and struck at his stupid head. Akio returned the move with a kick to her stomach.

She sent a water bullet his way, hitting him square on the chest. And then advanced, sword drawn.

Suda looked down for a moment at the water on the floor, gazing into its reflective surface. Then he lifted his head.

It would only take a second to get him.

“I’ve told you before girly, not to get in the way of my work.”

She deflected the shuriken, with the side of the blade, and then she was on top of him. Every blow she made, he matched, but there must be a way to get through. It wouldn’t be like it was before. He didn’t have his puppets, for starters. And she knew something he didn’t. She just needed to catch him at the right moment. 

A sharp pinch to her shoulder.

A look of sheer panic formed on Sayuri’s face as she realised she couldn’t move. 

“Oh,” Suda tutted, “Pity.”

There was a sickening crunch as he snapped Sayuri’s neck. Her body fell to the floor. A swift end to the girl who thought she could take on Akio Suda. Foolish really.

The masked man appeared. 

Suda turned his head towards the newcomer.

“Come to save your girlfriend have you?”

He cast a brief glance at the body of the girl.

“She means nothing to me. My being here,” he stepped towards Suda, gait confident, relaxed, “is for a different purpose.”

Suda lifted a tool from the table, a metal implement, small and sharp.

“And what’s that?”

“You cannot carry on like this. You are being hunted.”

“Heh,” Suda sliced through the skin of the corpse on the table, “They can’t catch me.”

“And yet,” the masked man said calmly, “You are skulking in the shadows. Is that not the actions of a man who wishes to hide?”

“So…?” Akio picked a syringe and injected it into the heart.

The masked man’s gloved hand skimmed over the vials of ingredients. He hovered over one, a green powder, the label a blue circle. He pocketed it.

“I have a proposition for you. Join our cause. We can offer you protection, a place to stay, access to whatever you need.”

“Heh. No!”

“Oh,” the masked man tilted his head to the side, “How unfortunate.”

“I have bodies already, thank you for bringing her. I’ll make great use of her.”

“Do you?”

“What?”

“Look again.”

Akio Suda looked. The girl! Where had she gone? Had it been...a genjutsu, all this time? He narrowed his eyes at the masked man.

“Well, nothing you can do either,” he said to the masked man, “I’m afraid your hands are tied.”

Obito looked down. It was true, his arms were locked to his side by the thin wire wrapped around him.

“So it seems.”

Suda smiled, and walked towards the masked man, syringe in hand. And then his eyes widened. The blade had phased through the masked man’s body and pierced his abdomen.

“I’m sorry,” said Sayuri, stepping through Obito’s incorporeal form, “But you’re going to die now.” 

She pulled the blade out, blood dripping from the wound, Suda falling to his knees in pain. Then she brought the sword down on his neck.

And so ended the life of Akio Suda.

She looked down at him for a moment. In the end, he was just a man. A horrid, terrible man.

And now he was dead. And the Red Shadow had claimed another.

Leather brushed against her fingers. She took hold of Obito’s hand and squeezed it tight.

She left the corpse for Obito to pick up. The body would eventually need to find its way back to Sunagakure. Look what you’ve done. You’ve let this monster run rampant. Look at the damage you’ve caused.

Sayuri went to the table, looking solemnly at the body of the child. 

“Do you think we should bury her? Or at least…?”

Obito nodded, and formed some hand signs, saying the words quietly.

The table erupted into flames.

Sayuri bowed her head in wordless prayer. She was no priest, and funeral rites weren’t something she liked to pay particular attention to, but there was one prayer she had memorised. The words were meaningless, something to fill the void when she had nothing better to say.

There were two other chakra signatures in the cave. Two dangerous ones.

“Hey, why did you drag us out here to this shithole?” A voice could be heard saying. They were near.

“Quit your whining. The bounty is large and I intend to get a hold of that money.” 

By the time Hidan and Kakuzu reached the chamber, there was no-one to be found.

“Damn it, where am I going to get my sacrifice now?!”

“Who cares about your annoying god. Where am I going to get my money?!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Any Hidan and Kakuzu fans, that was it. Yeah, the rest of the Akatsuki don't feature a whole lot in this fic, sorry.
> 
> But there are going to be some special guests coming up soon!
> 
> Hi Darlings,
> 
> How are you doing? I'm not so well, my anxiety is going crazy at the moment, and I'm getting those intrusive thoughts of self-doubt.
> 
> I do creative work part-time in real-life as well, and due to the current situation, that's rather lacking at the moment. So this is my only outlet currently, and...yeah.
> 
> Anyway I so appreciate all the support and comments, honestly. You are all lovely. 
> 
> And because I have been dealing with heavy themes in this fic, I started another mini-series for more fluffy type content.
> 
> First chapter is up on my profile, called 'A lovely Holiday time'. It's going to be a collection of one-shots of varying length.  
I'm planning for a winter-themed one to be posted on Christmas Day, so please keep an eye out for that.
> 
> All my love,
> 
> Ladle.


	38. Goodbye, I won't miss you

It didn’t take long for news of Suda’s demise to spread; the tale of the unknown assassin had captured the imagination of Amegakure citizens, who were glad to be rid of the menace that had terrorised them for months.

“Some other rogue ninja I’d say,” Yukio commented between spoons of red bean soup. Sayuri had not seen Yukio, Reika’s teammate, in a long time. Not since Reika’s funeral. The three teams would hang out intermittently, depending on their schedules, but lately everyone had been dealing with grief in their own way.

The death of Akio Suda was something to bring them together, and so they convened at Kisetsu Shoku. Such discussions were not fit for the Hirayama restaurant, for the topic was a sensitive one. Sayuri had lately visited Reika’s family business often with Mayumi, where they would be plied with free drinks. The last time had been to go through Reika’s clothes.

“Are you sure there’s nothing you want to take, Sayuri-chan?” Reika’s mother had been saying.

Sayuri, who had spent a long time just staring at the pile of clothes that had been dumped on the bed to sort, just shook her head. The clothes were showy and loud, just like Reika. A lot of black fishnets and bright pink tops with cutouts. Whilst Sayuri’s style was much more modest and ‘ordinary’ for fear of standing out too much, Reika was one not to care what people thought of her fashion sense.

“I’ve got to stand out, ready for my model debut,” she pressed a hand to her chest, “Everyone needs to know I’m a fashion icon.”

Sayuri fingered a pair of dark skinny jeans. She remembered being with Reika when she was trying them on, and how her friend had spent a whole ten minutes in the dressing room.

There had been a lot of groaning and cursing, and sounds of a struggle, and then much of

“Oh Reika, you look amazing! Absolutely fabulous darling.”

And then more grumbling and cursing, until finally she emerged.

“How are they?” Sayuri asked.

Reika put her hands under her chin and did a little dance.

“Oh, they are perfect! I must have them!”

Reika wore them on their next night out, and then Sayuri was the bemused spectator of Reika rolling about on the floor to try and get them off.

Mayumi had to end up pinning her down while Sayuri helped to prise her legs free.

“Did you want those dear?” Hirayama Chieka broke Sayuri out of her thoughts.

“Um...yeah. I think...I’d like to take them home with me.”

Now, sitting in Kisetsu Shoku with her peers, Sayuri was careful not to say anything too revealing. She had managed to get away with her double life this long, and that wasn’t going to change anytime soon.

“Well if it is some other rogue ninja, they better not come here,” Ezume said, “I don’t want to deal with them at the gate.”  
  
“Doubt it,” Yukio said, “They’re rich now aren’t they. Bounty was massive.”

It was a large bounty. Three, actually, and Obito and Sayuri had claimed them all.

One, from the rich merchant, whose daughter had been taken.

The second, from the Lord in the Land of Wind, who had been embarrassed by the rogue doctor’s antics, and also for the lack of discipline Sunagakure had exercised regarding the problem. If the matter could be brought to a swift close, all the better. 

The official word was that hunter-nin from Sunagakure had apprehended Akio Suda. Not that anyone in Ame believed that. 

The third, was from the president of a pharmaceutical company. Whatever secrets Akio Suda was harbouring, he wanted to know. And well, such secrets came at a price.

There was a fourth; a village that had been decimated by Suda and had put all of their savings together in an offering to whoever would remove the terror from the world.

What they could give was a pittance and Sayuri refused to take any of it, but made sure to leave some of the money from the other bounties.

Sayuri was sure if the man called Kakuzu got to them first they would have been ruined. Well, he should be happy now. And whoever Sasori was, he wanted to have a go as well, apparently Suda had been stealing his art.

Well, Sayuri thought, this Sasori could have had a go a lot sooner.

Obito laughed when she said as much, and then she asked again if she would meet any more of the Akatsuki members.

“No, I don’t think so...it wouldn’t be safe. Maybe...”

“Maybe what?”

“A couple of them might be okay. But….no. I don’t want you to get too caught up in things.”

She already was caught up in things. And she didn’t know how to feel about that. At times, when Suda was still on the loose, and she felt so lost and frustrated the dream world tempted her.

Other days, when she had seen her friends and lay abed with Obito wrapped around her she wanted to hold onto reality so vehemently, and convince him to give up his foolish dream.

But those days were not all the time and she found herself thinking selfishly if she could have days like that always.

She didn’t know what to do.

“What would you do if you had all that money?” Sayuri asked her friends now. If she was too quiet they would be more suspicious.

“Take a day off, stay away from all of you,” Ezume joked.

Sayuri grinned. Really, she had suggested much of the same to Obito. Not that she didn’t want to see her friends, it was just the thought of being somewhere, just with him. And not to seek her revenge on mad doctors.

“I mean, it is your birthday soon, so maybe we could go somewhere, like a holiday?”

“Sayuri…”

“I’m sorry,” she turned away, biting her lip, “It was a stupid suggestion.”

“...I’ll think about it.”

At the restaurant, Masuo scoffed.

“I’d say whoever it was had a motive besides money. Wouldn’t you want to get revenge on such a man?”

He was right, it was about revenge. She felt it afterwards, the surge of power and satisfaction, as she hooked her leg round Obito’s waist in the shower. The feeling of being in control sent red hot passion down to her core and along Obito’s length inside her.

She had realised that night, things couldn’t continue as they were. Sayuri was glad Suda had been defeated, but it was a clever trick she had used in the end...it shouldn't have gotten to that stage. She had grown lazy with training, that was it. She was a jounin of Amegakure, she should start acting like one. No more excuses.

So she trained with whoever she could. Tomoya and Ezume and Masuo, and Mayumi, although she seemed very busy of late. Sayuri learned the reason a little later. 

The person who had surprised her was Pain. She had asked Konan about sparring, but she just smiled apologetically and told her she was busy.

It turned out that she had been giving Mayumi private lessons, which explained her absence as of late.

“I was going to tell you, I just didn’t know if I could say anything.”

“I’m happy for you,” Sayuri enthused. But if Mayumi was training harder, then so should she.

When Pain said he would train with her, Sayuri was wary that it wasn’t some kind of ruse to prove she wasn’t that capable, and she should forget about being a shinobi. And it was true, Pain did not go easy on her.

But...she hadn’t yet died from the sessions...so that was something.

And Obito, he said that she didn’t have to push herself so hard, she could rest, but she explained that this was something she wanted to do for herself, and he seemed to understand. And then she pinned him to the mattress to show that she wasn’t that worn out and he should focus on doing some more training himself if he wanted to keep up.

He smiled at that and told her she was beautiful, and then later he asked if she was sure she was okay, and he hoped it wasn’t on his account she was pushing herself now.

“Why?”

“Well because…” he mumbled very quietly, and looked much like a boy when he spoke, “I don’t want you to feel like you’re not…I hope you know how special you are.”

“Oh,” she blushed, “I...thank you. You’re special to me too.”

Even so, she mused over his unspoken words, thinking of how long ago she would do anything to earn his praise, even when he had acted like she didn’t exist, and what she had done to try and forget him.

There had been SST at Suda’s lair. It was evident that he had been using it on his victims, the poor souls.

Sayuri didn’t blame those who had created it, what could people do in times of desperation, when there wasn’t the infrastructure for proper support.

There had been a visit to the Umeda household, the shinobi wearing the uniform of the special forces. They asked for Masuo’s father directly, and went to a room with him, shutting the door behind them.

Umeda Ichirou maintained his story of course. It had been a tragedy that the old man had died during surgery. He had been a loyal servant of the village. 

And the grieving family were allowed to live.

At Kisetsu Shoku, Mayumi shrugged her shoulders.

“Who cares who killed him. He’s dead, good riddance.”

Yes, Sayuri thought, good riddance indeed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi darlings,
> 
> Yes shorter chapter again. This is more of a transition one.  
I decided to break things it up with a more fluffy chapter next time before we go into the next phase.  
Please look forward to some more cute Obito x Sayuri goodness!
> 
> I'm hoping I will get the next chapter up before Christmas; otherwise I am working on my Christmas special fic, it will be here on Christmas day, so don't miss it! 
> 
> The next chapter may be delayed as I'm working on my Christmas fic, sorry to let you down. I've been working full speed on my fic lately, but I probably need to slow down a bit.
> 
> And yes, a chapter was removed, which was an art chapter. I have decided to move all art to another fic. And I have started an instagram to showcase some commissions from artists and little notes about the characters and such. It's @ladleart if you want to check it out.
> 
> Thank you always for the support it means a lot. I'm going to keep growing and believing in my story.
> 
> -Ladle


	39. A very happy birthday

Sayuri had not travelled to the Land of Hot Water since she passed through on a mission a few years ago. She had stopped then only to rest her head for the night—she might have stayed sooner if it were not for the owner of the inn asking too many probing questions.

It was when the old lady mentioned her grandson, “such a handsome young lad” that Sayuri realised she was not trying to unveil Ame’s darkest secrets, but her intent was something far worse.

Sayuri fled, hopping a leg over a first floor window.

This time they had rented a private room (at a different ryokan) to stay for a few days and it was there Sayuri rested on the tatami floor, yukata on, hair loose, warming herself under the kotatsu.

Obito was on the other side, smiling at her, their hands joined across the table, and it was a wonder to see how relaxed he looked in the yukata. All that black really did him no good.

She had been half joking about the holiday.

“We don’t have to, I know there are more important things.”

“What if I want to? It is my birthday after all.”

She had beamed at him, and it was a welcome break after a hard time on missions.

She had fallen back into her role with a fervor, with most assignments taking part in the Land of Wind. To be honest, she was getting fed up with the desert, and seemed to be spending most of her time post-mission washing sand out of places it should not be.

At least she got to see Ezume regularly at the gate, and spend some time scratching behind Raku’s ears.

“It’s most undignified, being handled like a common pet,” the otter grumbled, but he leaned into Sayuri’s hand all the same.

Tomoya had his own cryptic advice for dealing with the desert,

“Watch out for snakes. Particularly around Sunagakure.”

“But I’m not going near Sunagakure.”

“Good! And it should stay that way, until at least after the chuunin exams this summer.”

“Oh, okay.”

— 

One time sent her in the other direction, towards the Land of Earth, along with Mayumi, to escort a familiar noble to the border.

Sayuri recalled Watane from years ago, along with Reika’s comments about his scrotum, which set her off into some very unprofessional giggles.

“Is your subordinate quite well?” Watane asked Mayumi.

“She’s not my subordinate.”

“Hmm. Looks as if she needs to see a doctor,” turning to Sayuri, “Do not be ashamed child. I know many of the fairer sex prone to hysterics in my presence.”

“Oh…” Sayuri pursed her lips to stifle her amusement, “I’m going to er—to look ahead.”

With that Sayuri sped off, disappearing into the tree line. She returned a half hour later, making a subtle sign with her hand to Mayumi.

“It seems that I have been able to evade my enemies this time,” Watane was saying as they reached the border.

Sayuri gave the comment only a succinct nod, watching, waiting.

It was quiet. No birdsong, or other signs of wildlife.

The ground moved beneath her, a crack running through the earth and splitting it in two. Sayuri jumped out of the way, drawing her blade, skewering an enemy in the same motion.

Iwagakure shinobi. Five of them. The peaceful handover was apparently not going to take place. They were keeping a noticeable distance between Watane’s litter. He was not their target, smiling smugly to himself in the comfort of his plush transport.

A heavy blow to her stomach knocked her to the floor, banging her head on the hard ground. But even when they used the gap in her defences to pile upon her, drawing blood with their earth techniques, she still found a way to get the upper hand. She did not have the luxury of Obito’s intangibility (which was very unfair of him to hog the technique all to himself) but she was Amagakure’s shadow, and had her own way of slipping through her opponents’ defences. One she strangled, wrapping a length of rope around their neck to render them unconscious, even as their comrade struck at her from behind. She fought them off with a kunai to their abdomen to stall them, sending a bullet of water pulsing at them once her hands were free. 

A brief glance at Mayumi, who was more than capable of dealing with two of them. Her training with Konan had obviously paid off, for now she could make herself into paper, if only for brief intervals.

Sayuri killed the second by slitting their throat. The third, she remembered the sleeping drug Masuo had created and used that.

All was still.

The servants carrying the litter begged for mercy falling on their knees. The two kunoichi nodded and used more of the sleeping drug. They couldn’t let anyone escape, not just yet.

Watane had gone sheet white.

“I—er, can see you can protect me. Well— well done.”

Mayumi clocked him over the head.

They wouldn’t be able to take them back on their own, so they set up camp, making sure to tie the sleeping bodies up, just in case.

Mayumi sent out a message, writing it on a piece of paper and letting the folded wings fly back home.

“Konan says we need to prepare for more of this,” she said, watching her creation disappear into the distance.

“What, more paper?”

Mayumi laughed,

“No, silly. I mean,” she gestured at the unconscious bodies, “more negotiations between other villages.”

“But we didn’t talk to them?”

“Well someone will,” she laughed, “after they’ve been roused. Find out what the hell Watane was doing.”

“Oh,” Sayuri said, looking at the man snoring against the window of the litter, “I thought he just wanted a chat.”

“Yes, I could see you were so entertained by his conversation. What was it you said Reika said to him?”

“She didn’t say it to him. But she said she would poke a senbon at his balls.”

Mayumi snorted.

A moment of near silence. The birds had returned to the trees in the aftermath of the fight.

“But what did Konan mean?”

Mayumi sighed. 

“We are a small village between great nations. And it’s always been difficult for us to make allies. With some of us becoming more noted, we best be on our guard.”

“Oh, okay. I just wanted to spend some time with you. You always seem busy lately.”

Mayumi smiled apologetically,

“Well I’m here now aren’t I? So what did you want to talk about?”

“Nothing. I just get worried if I feel like you are going on so many missions and that.”

Mayumi raised an eyebrow. “Like you do you mean?”

“What?”

“You take on too many missions at once and overexert yourself, then you end up in the hospital for a few days, Masuo says you always leave too early by the way—”

“That’s none of Masuo’s business.”

“We’re just looking out for you silly. And anyway, you will rest a bit and then you will feel so guilty with sitting around on your laurels you will throw yourself into work again, and then become exhausted and go to the hospital.”

Sayuri pouted. Mayumi had spoken with a teasing tone but the words were a bit too accurate for her liking.

“That’s so not true.”

“Yes it is.”

“No it is not,” Sayuri crossed her arms, “And isn’t that what you are doing right now. So there.”

“No, because I take breaks. You need to pace yourself, yeah?”

Sayuri shrugged.

“Yeah…,” she drew circles in the ground with the end of a kunai, “I get scared if— what if you don’t come back? Cause now Reika’s gone and,” her shoulders heaved, tears dripping to the ground, “and I don’t want you to leave as well!”

“Oh honey,” Mayumi wrapped her arms around her, “I’m not going anywhere. I feel the same way about you.”

“Hmm?”

“I don’t want anything to happen to you either. Would you like to visit Reika together sometime?”

“Yeah. I’d like that.”

—

Konan arrived at sunset, casting a wary eye across the scene.

“Sayuri, go ahead. He’ll want to know.”

She nodded, and sped off back home. She didn’t think it warranted Konan to come out, but here she was. Or there she was. There was something going on, and she didn’t know what—and what Mayumi said too, about her overworking herself. That wasn’t fair and—she was confused.

She hated it.

After relaying the chain of events to the leaders, Sayuri retreated to the sanctuary of her room and sunk down onto the bed. She let her hair loose of the ribbon and pulled at it, screaming in frustration.

“Sweetheart,” Obito was there, kneeling in front of her, “Do you need some time out?”

And it was that same night she found herself in the inn with him, looking in bewilderment at the table of food before her. It seemed they had cooked just about every traditional dish.

“You don’t have to eat all of it, “ Obito said, “Just the bits you like.”

They took a bath together, the water sourced from the hot spring. Leaned up against his chest, drawing shapes with her finger in the water, and on his arms and legs.

“I want a big bath like this.”

“A big bath where?”

“In our house together. I mean, in the dream. Do you mind?”

“You can have whatever you like. It’s your dream.”

Sayuri sighed.

“Yes but, I want you to like it too.”

He tilted her back and planted a kiss on top of it.

“I’d like that. It would be nice.”

In the futon she spent a lot of time tossing around, taking the cover off then on and off again. She was too cold and too hot and too cold. In the end, she resolved to strip and settle under the covers naked.

“Is this okay?” she asked, snuggling against him.

“It’s...fine. Did you just want to go to sleep, or…?”

“Or what?” Sayuri grinned.

She placed her hand over his underpants, feeling the warmth.

“Is this okay?”

“Yes.”

She snuck her fingers under the band.

“Is this okay?”

He swallowed,

“...yes.”

She took him out, stroking him.

“Is this okay?”

“Yes…” he breathed.

She straddled him, pinning his hands to the ground, holding them there with one hand, and kissing him fully on the lips, still stroking.

“Is...is this okay?”

“...yes...Sayuri…”

She paused to pick up his scarf from the floor and tie it around his head.

“Is this okay?”

“Yes…Sayuri...please...”

She sunk down upon him.

“Is this okay?”

—

In the morning (they slept in) she noted the red marks around his wrists, evidence of it being rubbed by the rope she had used to tie his hands together.

“You should have told me it hurt,” she ran her finger gently over his wrist, “I would of stopped.”

He smiled, brushing her hair behind her ear.

“You looked like you were enjoying yourself far too much for me to stop you.”

“Yes...but, what about you enjoying yourself? It’s not fun if you don’t like it,” she bit her lip, “Maybe I got a bit too carried away…” It was intoxicating, lording over him, leaving him helpless like that. And then, when he had begged, shaky, sweating, voice breathless with need...It was exquisite.

“I don’t think you are capable of doing something I won’t like. But I will let you know if I don’t enjoy it.”

“Oh...good.”

—

They took a walk in the village in the early afternoon, taking in the sights of the traditional architecture. Everywhere was misty due to the steam coming from the baths, so you had to walk right up to places to appreciate them fully. It was nice to walk out in the open together, a simple genjutsu concealing their appearance.

They had just finished admiring a little shrine when Sayuri stopped still in the street.

“Shit.”

“What is it?”

“Nothing,” she said quickly.

It wasn’t nothing. It was his birthday and she had forgotten to get him a present. But if she said so he would just complain he wouldn’t need one. And thus sabotage her efforts.

She spent the best part of an hour trying to look for something suitable, trying not to make it seem obvious.

“What are you doing?”

Well like she said, trying. It didn’t mean she would succeed.

“Just looking for souvenirs.”

“There’s some konpeito candy over there. What about that?”

“No. Don’t need it.”

She would have to be more sneaky. But what could she get him, not some tacky souvenir that was for sure. And when she tried to ask him, point for example at a decorative dish,

“What do you think of this?”

“It’s pretty. Would you like me to buy it for you?”

“Oh, no thank you.”

Then she saw it. Sayuri gave him the slip as he was engrossed in some hair pins, and hurried to her destination.

Even though it was mid-winter, the florist was well stocked. They must have some technique for growing flowers, seeing all the bright colours. And they even had… they were perfect.

—

One moment Obito was looking at a hair pin Sayuri had said she liked, the next he had lifted his head to ask her which colour she preferred—and she was gone!

Had she been abducted? Had they been followed all this time? Surely he would have noticed...

No, think. Logical, calm.

This was a remote civilian village. She was safe. He looked up and down the street. She wasn’t anywhere he could see her.

He could get Zetsu to find out where she had gone. But that was a touch drastic. She’d probably just ran off in search of candy. But where? Sayuri, what are you doing? Was it something he had said? She was obviously a little overwhelmed yesterday, but he thought she’d calmed down…

And then she spotted her, emerging from a shop, and he ran towards her.

“Sayuri! There you are. I thought you’d gone.”

She blinked, oblivious to his panic.

“What? Silly old man. I was just popping in the shop.”

He peered around at the windows behind her. A florist. And also, something yellow poking out from behind her back.

“Oh, did you buy something? I can see something poking behind your back.”

She brought out the three sunflowers with a flourish,

“Tada! These are for you. Happy Birthday Obito.”

Obito took them for her, mouth dry. No-one had bought him flowers before. He had bought them for other people. Once, as a child, and that time had gone absolutely spectacularly, and now, more often to replenish the vase Sayuri had kept on her window sill. If anyone had asked him what his favourite flower was he wouldn’t have an answer. He didn’t know what his favourite was. And truthfully, he hadn’t cared. But the sunflowers...they were bright and cheerful, like he used to be...like her. At least until he had ruined her. No, like she always would be.

“Do you not like them?”

Obito snapped out of his musings, having been staring blankly at the flowers for a good few seconds.

“They’re beautiful. Thank you.”

He wouldn’t tell her that it was actually the 9th today and his birthday wasn’t until tomorrow.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi darlings!
> 
> I know I know, I last updated this in November! But in my defence, I have written two side chapters in the time I've been gone.
> 
> One as an update to my first ever Sayuri side-fic, 'Let Go', and one as a Christmas/winter themed fic to go with my holiday fic collection.
> 
> They are both on my profile if you would like to browse.
> 
> And! I have commissioned more art! You can see it on my instagram @ladleart, or here, under Sayuri Art. I post behind the scenes and that on insta as well.
> 
> I want to say thank you to all the new followers. I see you and appreciate you. If you're joining this late I sincerely apologise for the absolute train wreck this fic is.
> 
> I wanted to keep this chapter fairly light, there is a more serious tone when Sayuri talks to Mayumi, but there is also some fluffy cuteness with Obito. Okay...more smut with Obito. I'm just hoping I have striked the balance right, cause I don't want to be too explicit with this fic but...( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) 
> 
> And yeah, with what is going on in the world at the moment, I hope this can offer some sort of escape. 
> 
> I mean, I have not heard yet that someone is banned from Ao3, so I will be on the lookout for cheeto fics sometime soon.
> 
> Oh! Next chapter (next chapter? Yes, next chapter) I am introducing new character/s ! Well, old character. But new to this fic. Can anyone guess who they might be! I'm so excited.
> 
> Anyway, much love! 
> 
> -Ladle


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